From: ě¸í
To: ěí
뼴Â
Iâm sure thereâs people on here who are professionals at talking to strangers at this point. Thereâs always those who donât have any shame, who donât have anything to hide. Or do you think everything has at least something to hide, even when they pretend that they donât? I donât mean to get philosophical here â Iâm just thinking out loud. Well, on paper ă
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I donât think you sound obnoxious. I think places like this were basically made for people who are either lonely and a bit unhappy or maybe people who have great stories they want to share with others, but the former might be the most common. I can relate to both; not liking who you are and not liking what you do, I mean. I do think itâs intertwined, since your job kind of defines you as a person. Not entirely, but it kind of does to the outside world, I suppose. Maybe thatâs why we donât like who we are â because people have these assumptions that make us feel bad about ourselves? But then again, I donât know who else I could be or what else I could do, so maybe Iâm really just wishing I could be someone else, someone better, when I have to accept that this is my life.
Iâm just a boring editor. I do most of my work from home, which is maybe why it gets lonely. I donât exactly meet people who I feel a connection to when Iâm sitting behind a computer. Being a physiotherapist sounds tough, but Iâm sure it can be a rewarding job. Youâre helping people get their lives back; I think thatâs quite admirable. Is acting something youâve always wanted to do or is that a recent thought? Perhaps Iâm reading into it wrong and it was just a joke, itâs hard to tell from written text.
I think what I like about writing is that I can reread it and reconsider before I decide to actually send it. Talking isnât like that; once you say something, you canât take it back. For a long time, I believed my opinion didnât matter. I wasnât allowed to talk to clients at my previous job â not about personal stuff, anyway. It all had to be work related. I think thatâs why itâs taken me so long to go out and look for people to talk to; I just had to give myself permission this time.
Yellow and red? Thatâs an interesting combination. I like it, though. They seem like happy colors. Is that a weird observation? Theyâre⌠fiery. Bright. Iâm really sorry to hear about your childhood and Iâm sorry you feel that way about your parents. I think I disappointed mine. They no longer wish to have contact with me. Perhaps I could try to reach out again, but I donât think I can handle another rejection from them. I havenât improved much, anyway. I wouldnât blame them.
This got long. Definitely not a good bye. I may have overshared a bit, though. I apologize. Youâd think I donât go and see a therapist every week ă
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Hopefully awaiting your response,
PS. Iâm really craving a bath right now.
From:Â ěí
뼴
To: ě¸í
i watched my sisterâs philosophy lecture videos the other day, and it really got me thinking about death, not death death like killing death but just the concept of death. i promise iâm not a weirdo with a death kink, just hear me out for a second and think about this concept okay... do you fear death? if you do, do you fear the state of being dead, or the experience leading up to being dead? for instance, if youâre being mauled over by a bear, are you afraid of the pain the bear will cause, leading to your death or just the death part? i found it really interesting how philosophers actually separated the âwhat leads you to deathâ to the whole death death thing. anyway, sorry, huge tangent that went nowhere, it just came to my mind ă
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do you really just accept your life as it is? i think we have a responsibility to control and change what we donât like about ourselves, but i think that alone is the hardest thing to accomplish. movies make it seem so much easier. do you think somewhere in the future, weâll have some sort of happy ending like most movies do? i heard the little mermaid story, in the original one, she actually ends up dying with her tongue chopped off... which is... not exactly what kids like to hear and see. is that how iâm going to end up? dead on some deserted shore on a beach of some maniac scientist with my organs ripped out? the visuals here are not pleasant, iâm sorry iâve been in a weird part of my life lately, and iâve also been watching a lot of wack things on youtube. i donât think itâs healthy overall.
oh, an editor! iâve never spoken with an editor before, and i donât think being an editor is boring at all. i hear it is quite interesting and oddly... peaceful? or maybe iâm just talking to the wrong kind of editors... ă
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and yes, iâve thought about acting... but i donât think iâd go very far with it, if iâm being one hundred percent authentic.Â
oh, what was your previous job? i thought iâd give it itâs own paragraph, since it seems to be an important time in your life? or maybe, i too, am reading too into it.Â
if you ever do reach out to your family, i hope youâll write to me about it. iâd be interested in seeing how it went, maybe i could live vicariously through your life decisions with your family. since, iâm never ever going to reach out to mine. i think improvement can be seen in many ways, you said you never had anyone to talk to, yet here you are talking to someone... i think thatâs an improvement, and it is an improvement nevertheless. so, i think youâve improved.
your neighbourhood wreck
(go treat yourself to that bath ă
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