"the quiter you become, the more you hear"

i'm young.exploring.&& letting the world on my secrets.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[hanginbyathreadd]

That photo right there is pure happiness 😁 and all due to @hmhughesss for giving me a ride finally in her jeep 💁‍♀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B7mNAfMnBGtHmo9GdB0y2TgRP2372ETs9L0o3s0/?igshid=rpnyjuh6dieq

[hanginbyathreadd]

So grateful to live in a calm, and soothing hot AF state ☀️#floridalifestyle #sunset #madierabeach (at Madeira Beach, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0uJYwfhtTJ1FIewqG99fQczj08bHmomr-cwvU0/?igshid=li0stfg4sb2i

[hanginbyathreadd]

What a good day 🙃 https://www.instagram.com/p/B0kNGY3HCghX3iqw9ded6PovykTpd5QVCIaIKs0/?igshid=14wr14m2idn1j

[hanginbyathreadd]

Aww i love my cats vet 😊 they send emails wishing my baby's a happy birthday 🎉 they figured out her DOB for me 🥰 Irma, my bitch, i love you crazy girl. Odd fit to the group, but so happy that you and kitty are best friends even though you make me sick at times for how much y'all love each other 😂😂😂 happy 2 yrs you crazy girl, hopefully now you might start acting more mature now (a girl can dream) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0OW7QCnE3YDJGJebuuKdwIbEy8eb3FQjBLO9Q0/?igshid=1kmiv8q8nq5od

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There's no one else I would rather get stuck in a burning house with 😂😂 had such a good time hanging with y'all this weekend. Such good times and memories made 😀 see you in a few short weeks girl 😘 Ohh and thanks for putting your hand in the toilet for us John 😂😂😂 #friends #whatarethechances (at Outerlife Studios - Escape Room St Pete) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzV33nUHhRyzgoARQuXNXNfGZRCV3PAjLZv4I00/?igshid=17m3xaapfk5ar

[hanginbyathreadd]

When your friends notice my little 🍑 formation 🥰🥰 && ask you to drop and ask you to shake it Watch out @jacksonchaundra 😂😂 #transformation #orangetheory #orangetheorytyrone #fitgirl #runneraddict #fitnessjunkie #loveyourself #missnewbooty https://www.instagram.com/p/BydQfDvHSW0fqLwEE4vWNlPrjo-76EamfOsKQY0/?igshid=6h0bcdq7io9a

[hanginbyathreadd]

Imperfection is the true beauty. No one is ever perfect. So stop trying to be something you are not and just live in the moment ✌ https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw2zCKjAGW9BFIN9ib44Truqly2JtzMcfftl5g0/?igshid=16zzve3opuwga

[hanginbyathreadd]

I passed my class on Wednesday. I was afraid. Barely had any sleep or studying. But went in and was trying to feel comfortable.

Went I and walked out. I had passed! I passed the class that made me struggle 4 months behind where I wanted to be.

I celebrated with Michelle. I passed my class and so did she. But Michelle pretty sure got into the sonography program.

I texted you that day. I never expected a response, but I wanted one so badly....

But you did! I couldn't believe it. I was at my work Christmas party when I did see your response for the most part.

I was so happy that you read AND replied.

I still love you and want you. People keep 9n telling me to move on. It isnt easy. It never is.

No one knows how I feel or think.

You are one of the only few if that...

It's been around 3 months I believe of breaking up..I want you. I need you. It doesnt seem real. I d9nt want this to be th4 end. I honestly dont think I can survive; but I beg to differ.

I dont want anyone else...I havent stopped crying since labor day.

I miss you. I miss us. I miss us and our babies. I miss everything and all I want to do is call and talk. But I'm unable to do the simplist thing 😔

[hanginbyathreadd]

With some family...we wish you were here @k.ladow_ #minovacation https://www.instagram.com/p/BrbiLf2hNjGF5nThIY_Gn-kWnBvBqfbojelGV80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15b2mru4s3tmb

[hanginbyathreadd]

Rainy sunday mornings 😊 https://www.instagram.com/p/BrLM5jKganjaLTwxztoiYlmcAJZnyCZRJ_fwXE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a5z7l8770agg

[hanginbyathreadd]

Anxiety.

I can't deal with it. Why must one person trigger it so much and I'm trying to do the best.

Somedays I just want it all to end.

[hanginbyathreadd]

So I finally see clear of everything.

You were right. We should have ended in September but, I couldnt. I said no it was just communication. We could work on it.

I dont know how I read over so quickly about about you and needing to better yourself. It was a mixture of my anxiety and I dont know what else. Anger? Hurt? Sad?

You name it.

You didnt want to hurt me. Said I was the sweetest ever.

I made it hard on myself. I made you hurt me.

And I am sorry how I told you. I was so hurt and upset. I needed to talk to you. I was so lost.

I hope we get the chance to talk.

I still want you to be in my life and update you and tell you my accomplishments here and there. And to make sure you are happy and doing well.

I learned so much from you and miss your brains, humor, laugh, and gentle touch. Guess I just miss having you in my life.

You did tell me you weren't dying and that I wasnt losing you...

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One nice thing is that no one knows about this.

I just let all my thoughts get exposed to help me feel sane and to express myself without judgment.

[hanginbyathreadd]

Thankyou.

Thanks brittany. You are the one who somehow told me what I needed to hear. You clicked whatever neurons I needed to get back on track.

Thanks again. Now I feel normal again :)

[hanginbyathreadd]

stop.

i need to stop. you didn’t care. you left me after 2 years. 2 fucking years. that’s not right at all. i know you did love and care for me once. but when you stopped why did you let it on. was it really up to the day of the fight?

i want to scream so loudly. it won’t do anything.

only time will

[hanginbyathreadd]

why

i don’t know why i do this to myself. i see a photo of you and just have to stare. i’m still blown away by your flawless skin, warm brown eyes.

i hate myself. i hate us.

i was amazed by you. i still am.

i could just stare at you, feel my heart warm up as a smile drifts across my face. i used to love watching you sleep. i used to get a lot of photos of you. i loved them from behind so i would see your arms. and then your butt.

you always moved you knees up in a weird twitching way to adjust yourself. it was adorable and i miss it.

i know i’ll never find anyone like you and it kills me.

I just wish so fucking bad.

but none of my wishes come true. well i guess one did, but it came to an end.