The riot grrl movement of the early 90s was punk rock and feminism at their purest. It was so powerful it continues to inspire women and girls today. I was curious about what it was truly like to be a riot-grrl so I talked to one. If you believe every citizen should be given a guitar on her 16th birthday, this is for you.
DW: What inspired you to play drums?
Lisa Dirocco: I was really into the movie “Grease” when I was really young and got into dance and my parents turned me onto 60’s beach movies and 60’s music. Sandy Nelson’s “Teen Beat” being a huge influence. They let me stay up to watch The B-52’s on SNL and “Rock Lobster” was on. I had liberated a lobster when I was 4 from a NYC market and it moved with us. I fell in love.
The next day they bought me the record and one from The Go-Go’s. I was almost 9 and I fell in love with the drums. I got into private lessons and started with the school band the next year. On a side note my mom had to fight for me to be in the percussion class as we were told “girls just did not play drums.”
DW: Do you remember the first time you heard the term “riot grrl?”
LD: Yes!! My best friend Heidi (one of two girls in the music scene I was in) who skated at the time had got signed and moved to California. She told to meet up in D.C. in 1992 and had sent me a cassette and some zines she collected on the road.
DW: What interested you about playing music with girls vs. guys?
LD: Back in the early 90’s it was all about straight edge and keeping that edge. At first they followed the minor threat teachings but as it branched out to areas like Texas there were many rules added. It got ridiculous and girls were seen as the enemy. No matter how hard I tried (and I was playing in bands) I could never get respect like my male peers. And if they did respect me ummmmm yeah, they were not about to let on that they did.
I never could bond with any of them it was awful. So, when there was a chance for girls to play and be political yada yada I was like SIGN ME UP!! Thankfully we were taken seriously due to the fact Ian from Minor Threat supported the riot grrrl movement and well he was like a god to the majority of the guys back then.
DW: Was riot grrrl more political or more about the music?
LD: Well, by that time I had been playing in punk bands for almost five years and it was all about showing that we existed in the music scene and not merely coat hangers, which was a term all the dudes called girls who attended shows back then because they were meant to look pretty so other dudes thought they were the shit and well to hold their coat in the back of the club.
I am not sure if that is “political.” We wanted to be included and accepted. We went on to tackle politics. I did notice a huge difference in the music too as it was simpler. No one was trying to cock-block one another with guitar solos or how many drums they could fit onstage to prove how good they were. For the most part it had a driving beat which was music to my ears!!!
DW: What do you think about putting politics into your music?
LD: I think it is super empowering but you gotta be ready to back it up
DW: Did you feel comfortable going to shows in the early 90’s?
LD: Absolutely not. We were all seen as coat hangers back then. It was extremely violent back then. We all had bats in our cars and always traveled in huge groups. I went to a Skinny Puppy show and saw a chick getting gang banged in the pit,that scene was emo compared to the punk scene. Skinheads were everywhere back then and they took what they wanted. I got beat up a lot to the point I carried bamboo in my JNCO’s to hit people so I could run away. That is one huge change they are on the down low nowadays or ha hiding out in the rockabilly crowd “retired.”
After shows my riot grrrl bands played we were followed, threatened, beat, you name it.
DW: How has that changed?
LD: I think the internet helps to “out” people and keeps them more in check .I think the internet also has enabled people to have an outlet.
DW: What are your fondest memories of playing in the early 90s?
LD: I loved getting to open up for all the bands I was so into!!! Bikini Kill, Slant 6, The Muffs, Cub, Sleater-Kinney, etc etc. I loved having girls feel empowered enough to drop those fucking coats on the floor and shove their way to the front. I loved watching girls get involved via zines, bands, dancing, art, videos, etc, etc and sharing it with me. I loved how we all networked via snail mail all over the world. I still have all my letters decorated and collaged!!!
DW: How did you find out about new albums?
LD: We all wrote to the labels or to each other and would send tapes or vinyl back and forth. Also M.R.R. ads, if it came out on Dischord, K, Estrus, or Kill Rock stars and I saw an ad I bought it via a money order or stamps. And of course the local record stores.
DW: Is there a band or a show that sticks out as your favorite from that time period?
LD: I saw Bikini Kill in 1993 in a Ft. Worth garage. They had the roadie sit on the drum kit to keep it from moving. There was no 68 piece drum kit. It was simple and sweet. The singer Kathleen looked like my cheerleader friends and not gothed out or the typical V. Westwood style punk chick. She was so incredibly outspoken and did not take any shit from the dudes heckling her. She gave the mic head during one song and I watched the dudes who I had put on a pedestal and respected so much and had tried to get the attention of non-stop all completely crumble and it made me feel insanely empowered. Also they gave me a ton of stickers they had handmade on household contact paper…I was like “OMG this is a breath of fresh air.”
DW: Do you think riot grrrl still exists? If not, what killed it?
LD: I go back and forth on this. The way it was during like 92-97 was so radical and underground. The media trying to cover it got so much wrong, it was like that game “telephone." The majority of writers would not dare set foot into a club so the way they got info was suspect. It will never be like that time period again.
However, I meet people who got into great music due to riot grrrls huge enemy/nemesis Courtney Love. Her band Hole was way more accessible and the media loved her and so of course the record companies gave her great distro. A ten year old could go into the mall or turn on MTV and see her not Bratmobile or Bikini Kill. Remember, there was no internet so that was everything.
The Spice Girls in 1997 took it to another level too. As much as people wanna hate, I think these bands did give budding riot grrrls something they could as well relate too. I see all girl bands today such as Sailor Poon and I am like-it still exists in some form. In a few years we will all meet cool kids in rad bands who picked up Paramore’s album when they were 10.
Lisa currently lives in Austin and plays in The Really Rottens and Slash N Spread.
Now that you’ve got your costume ready you need a place to go to spill beer all over it. Rest in peace, we gotcha covered.
October 29: A Terror at Trailer Space
With: New China, Basketball Shorts, Mean Jolene, and Oozer
THIS IS ONE OF TRAILER SPACE’S LAST SHOWS! May you haunt us with your shit-talking from beyond the grave forever, Trailer Space. As always, it’s BYOB.
October 29: Sahara Lounge Pre Halloween Costume Pawty
With Leather Girls, Teenage Cavegirl, nameless frames at Sahara lounge October 29
Sahara Lounge always offers up refreshing non-downtown vibes but tonight you won’t be able to tell if someone is homeless or just dressed like they are! How exciting! Leather Girls are pretty much the best band in Austin, second place tied by Teenage Cavegirl and Nameless Frames so you would be a totally choad if you didn’t show up. Don’t forget your costume!
October 30: Sweetheart Studios’ Graveyard Rock
We told you about Sweetheart Studios a little while back and now is your chance to tour it for yourself! This is an earlier party with treats and limited beer (BYOB don’t be an asshole) so you can check this party out and then hit up a few more, all before midnight.
October 30: Selena y los Burritos (Selena cover band at Hotel Vegas)
The late great Tejano Queen Selena will be paid tribute to by the acclaimed local Selena cover band Selena y los Burritos. This show is FREE!
October 30 Devil’s Night House Show
With Animal Train, Strange Squares, Hit By a Car, Really Rottens, and Popper Burns
This is another fun BYOB event with some of favorite local acts we’ve featured before, Really Rottens and Popper Burns. <– Click their names to check out our features on them before ya go.
October 31: A Haunted Happening House Show
With: Bat city surfers, The Boss Jaguars, Really Rottens, Gold Bloom
This event will include live bands (something new for Austin) and a silent auction. Spooooky! If you fucked up and missed Really Rottens the first time here’s another chance to see them.
October 31: Blur vs oasis (cover bands duh) at Hotel Vegas
If nostalgia is your deal, Hotel Vegas has you covered with a free show including: Members of I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness, Trail of Dead, A Giant Dog, Tear Dungeon, Booher, & More as BLUR VS OASIS, Amplified Heat & Cody Lee Johnston as BLACK SABBATH, Forever Changes as LOVE.
October 31: H A L L O W E E N House Party
With: Wednesday Addams and Adrian Bernal (The Reeks/Carl Sagan’s Skate Shoes group) , Teenage Cavegirl, ZOMBIE PRIDE PARADE (Gold Field Hotel Apparitions) , WYZZRD (Megafauna), COUNT DAVULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDES (Members of Xetas, ¿Qué Pasa?, The Really Rottens and other bands you love!)
It’s a houseparty! Eh… I’m tired of writing descriptions. Make up your damn mind already.
Martha Stewart’s Halloween Special Issue has been out for 24 days. You ain’t got time to craft what she talkin about!
And you’re broke, as usual, so you can’t even buy a wig. Hallow’s Eve is a few days away and what fun is October without a costume?
What follows will spook you to death with with how DIY, creative, and cheap our costume ideas are.
Be an Alien
Materials:
-any old issues of The Austin Chronicle or other newspaper you have lying around
- flour and water (to make paper mache paste)
-a balloon
-green and black paint
Be a Taco
Materials:
- cardboard box from the trash
- black sharpie from your job
- string from something at your house
- construction paper (red, dark/brightgreen, yellow, white) from your job or room mate
Be a Bat
Materials:
- black hoodie from a thrift store
- dollar store black umbrella
- sharp scissors/wire cutters from your job
- needle & thread from your room mate
Be Cousin It
- gold cloth from the fabric store or steal your parents table cloth/curtains
- dollar store hula skirt
- black sunglasses from your car
- black hat from your ex or just the dollar store
Be Kim Davis
-a bible you got for free that’s been sitting on your shelf (maybe you got it from your granny who keeps trying to convert you-sorry granny, keep praying for my soul)
-a cheap wig from Walmart (mine was $8) or Goodwill (if getting lice doesn't bother you) or last year (can double as an alternate Cousin It)
-$1 glasses from Dollar Tree
-a blue longsleeve shirt from your closet
-a sleeveless black shirt from your closet
-an ugly long blue zig-zag skirt from Walmart (seen here half-assed with a plaid skirt)
-a self-righteous, hateful attitude
or, just be a Nug of Weed
- green sweater from your best friend’s closet
- green tights from Five Below
- 2 packages of dollar store moss (or craft store)
- green construction paper
- adhesive of your choice
So, be scary, make yer costume, and just have a great Halloween! Don’t yield to social norms as far as how you should look goes. Whether you’re half naked, super scary, or just wearing your normie clothes…doesn’t matta. BE YOU, BB.
Rocky and The Wildcat Interview for Casting Couch Zine
Words: Nillie Welson
Photos: Julie Bishop
Local Austin favorites, Rocky and The Wildcat have been around. The first time I saw them was in a backyard in south Austin. Rocky was sitting on a couch that looked like it was dying. Jimmy on a chair next to her. The wooden porch was dilapidated and looked like it wanted to just give up and cave in. I knew they were an adorable couple, but when they began I wanted to know what the fuck was going on. Where did this beautiful soulful magic come from? So, I sat down with them and asked them, what the fuck is goin’ on?
Nillie Welson: What’s yall’s story?
R: We met in 2010 at Caleb Dawson’s birthday party. I was 19 years old. I have been singing all my life, but I was very shy at the time. Jimmy eventually talked me into singing with him. A few years ago Jason McNeely asked us to play a Gram Parsons tribute set which really set the tone for our duet.
NW: How did you chose the sound or style of music you play?
R: I don’t feel like I’ve really figured out what style I play yet… whatever we sound like at any given time is probably a product of the music we’re into at the moment, and it’s bound to change before long.
NW: Where ya originally from?
R: I’m from right outside of Houston and spent a lot of time growing up
in Galveston. I love the ocean and being in the water. Jimmy is from just outside of Huntsville, Texas. He was born in his folks’ house.
NW: How has your upbringing influenced your music?
R: My family really likes music. Especially my mom who was an opera singer and plays piano very well. They always encouraged me to pursue music and I took a lot of voice and dance lessons. I was really into musical theatre when I was a kid.
J: My dad listened to old country blues cassettes all the time when I was a kid, and my mom pushed me to learn violin and be smart. Sorry ma.
NW: What are your musical inspirations?
R: Mama Cass Elliot, Etta James, Nina Simone, Emmylou Harris, Harry Nilsson, Ronnie Spector, Mary Beth Richardson, Linda Ronstadt, Bessie Smith, Victoria Spivey, Suzi Quatro, Sara Ostovar
J: A buncha fools like Bob Dylan, Harry Nilsson, Gram Parsons, Timothy Steven Corey Parsons, the Shangri-Las, Lightnin’ Hopkins, Mississippi John Hurt, Memphis Minnie, Greg Cartwright, Dory Tourette, and Tim Curry
NW: What are your frustrations being a band in Austin?
R/J: Parking.
NW: Rocky, have you faced discrimination being a woman musician?
R: I think you face discrimination being woman in general. It is difficult but I don’t let it discourage me.
NW: How do you guys manage livin’ and workin’ together?
R: We unwind very well together.
NW: What does your writing process look like?
R: I thank the muse for paying me a visit, typically while I’m in the car. I come up with a melody and some lyrics and bring it to Jimmy who is so adept at song writing and he helps me finish it.
J: Rocky writes songs and brings em to me, and I just slap a couple chords and stops in here and there.
Rocky, why so much shakin’ onstage? I love it! But I’m curious because it matches your voice so much.
R: Probably nerves.
NW: What bands are you personally obsessed with locally and generally?
R: I listen to a lot of old records. I’m obsessed with Mamas and Papas “If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears.” I listen to it over and over again and never get tired of it. I think I know every harmony and vocal part on the record. My Karen Dalton record “In My Own Time” has been getting a lot of play lately as well. And of course The Byrds “Sweetheart of the Rodeo,” which we named the studio after. Also I listen to the Flamin’ Groovies and Suzi Quatro when I exercise. Been very into Flamin’ Groovies.
J: For local acts, I’ve been seriously enjoying JD Clark and Rich Hands lately. If I listed every band I’m deeply fascinated by, it’d take up too much page space I think, so I’ll just say this: Check out Tim Curry’s song “I Do the Rock”.
NW: What bands or projects are ya’ll apart of?
R: Jimmy is in the Bad Lovers, The Wolf, Dick Sex. We both play in Bobby Jealousy and in our duet act, Rocky and the Wildcat.
Who decorated sweetheart studios?! It’s adorable.
R: A lot of work was put into remodeling the place by Jimmy and me, and his brother Seth Gibbs, and Travis Beall and Alli Anderson. We all added our personal touches, but Travis and Alli were especially active in the overall design and feel of the place. We have a very colorful, sort of Peewee’s Playhouse vibe. It’s our very own grownup clubhouse.
NW: Who does what at Sweetheart Studios?
R: Travis, Seth, and Jimmy are engineers. Alli and I take care of the social media accounts and do a lot of little things to keep the place running well and looking nice. I do backing vocals for some folks that come in as well. We are all multi-instrumentalists and we’ve been playing as studio musicians on some projects. Also our friend Sara Castro has been helping a lot with our social media presence, which is awesome because the rest of us are inept and stubborn when it comes to the internet/the future in general.
Deborah White: Jimmy, you and your brother are both studio engineers. Did you grow up in a musical family or how did you two become interested in studio work?
J: Yeah, most of my family is interested in and/or capable with music. My older brother Ben also plays in bands when he’s got time. Us kids (four boys and a sister) were brought up taking music lessons, learning violin and piano and some others. My folks keep a pretty fantastic record collection, and I discovered a lot of great rock n roll, country blues, and folk at an early age thanks to that. Ben and Seth started recording when I was still real young, first on a Fostex four track machine, and later on the family’s crappy Dell desktop computer. I think it just started as a way to fight boredom; we were raised in the country, with no neighbors nearby and 5 channels of static-ey TV, so we had to come up with ways to keep busy. I just followed along with whatever the other guys were doing I guess, being the youngest brother.
DW: What disgusting things do you do when you’re not writing music together?
R: Taking care of 2 dogs and a cat which can be gross. We also cook together a lot and watch a bunch of horror movies of varying quality. Also, every year, we look forward to the Halloween Issue of “Martha Stewart Living”.
J: Feedin’ our boogers to the dogs, that’s all I can think of right now.
DW: Is it hard to balance being in multiple bands, working and being in a relationship?
R: We get to spend a lot of time together even though we are working. And the work is usually fun. Singing harmonies with someone you love is the best thing to me. Although I wish we could take more vacations together.
J: Nah
DW: What’s the strangest thing that’s happened to y'all at a show?
R: One time we were playing at a birthday party, and the guy who’s birthday it was grabbed my tambourine and started pulverizing the cake with it.
J: Yeah, that was pretty funny.
Well there you have it folks! There’s clearly a lot of talent and love between these two. It makes for a undeniable chemistry that is birthing some of the best music out of Austin instead of birthing stupid babies.
For a print version of this interview plus loads of other awesome band interviews and photography purchase Casting Couch Zine here: http://castingcouchzine.storenvy.com/
What follows is an interview with Lisa and Angie of The Really Rottens.
Nillie Welson: How did y'all meet?
Angie: Bein in bands/ mutual friends etc.
NW: How did you decide to start a band together?
Angie: It wasn’t a decision but more of a feeling.
NW: How did each of you know you wanted to learn to play an instrument? How did you learn?
Angie: Been playing music since I was a kid. Can’t imagine my life without it. I’m not sure I’ve fully learned yet…
NW: Why surf rock?
Angie: Por que no?
NW: Where did the band name come from?
Lisa: Our name came from a crazy conversation about us reminiscing about Saturday morning cartoons with Rob Yazzie and he was like OMG YOU GOTTA NAME THE BAND THE REALLY ROTTENS!!!
NW: What’s it like being in a band together?
Angie: Amazing. Best band in the world.
NW: Who’s the band mom and why?
Angie: Charlie. He puts up with us.
Deborah White: What are your ambitions as a band?
Angie: Tour Japan!
NW: Describe one of your best shows as a band.
Angie: Ooooooh every show is our best show! We play so infrequently, every time we get out there, it’s so much fun!
NW: So far, which presidential candidates are looking good to you? Why?
Angie: Beastman. He’s looks a lot more trustworthy.
NW: If you could create your dream bill (of all time, dead or alive bands) which bands would play?
Angie: It would end up being a never ending festival. Way too many to list. Sorry.
NW: What are the difficulties of being a band in Austin? The positive sides?
Angie: Everyone is in a band and playing a show the same night as you. Positive side- you can potentially play a show with any band/ any night of the week.
DW: What are some previous projects all of you have been in?
Angie: In Austin…French inhales, and the Slizz.
Lisa: I was in Butterfly Nation, Wayward Girl, The Kodiaks, The Teeners… oh and the Regrettes who used to play shows with Charlie’s band the Magnetic Four.
NW: What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you as a band?
Angie: We got paid.
NW: What are the most important traits a person has to have when you’re thinking about dating them?
Angie: Let me play my music, man.
DW: Do you have any blackmail on each other you’d like to share with us and embarrass your bandmates with?
Angie: Naw. My band mates really are as cool as they seem.
NW: Have you played any South by Southwest shows? How was the experience if so?
Angie: The parking is awful. Trying to make it to the show alone is half the battle. Yes, I’m all for moving SXSW to SA.
NW: How and why did y'all decide to dress up?
Angie: It’s fucking cool, mang.
NW: If each of you had your own message to the world, what would your messages be?
When it comes to rock n roll, Ben pretty much does it all-he plays in a band (The Pleasers), owns a record label (Burger City), he’s your favorite DJ, he books your favorite shows, he’s your favorite bartender at Hotel Vegas (after Bailey of course) and he even has his own shirt.
Besides his affinity for Bud Light and babes we wanted to know what else was goin on under all those curly ginger locks. Naturally we thought our friend Len Lipton would be the perfect person to talk to him about his innermost feelings and deep seeded secrets. lol. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.
(An abbreviated version with purty real life pictures can be purchased at www.castingcouchzine.storeenvy.com)
The future is female. That’s the credo of the drag-dressing, post-punk Popper Burns (try saying that 5 times) from Austin, TX. In less than a year, Popper Burns quickly gained a following, probably because they have an enthusiasm most bands in Austin act too fucking cool for and if you catch one of their live shows you’ll see what I mean.
We chatted with them in the alley outside of Beerland after their show where we definitely weren’t intoxicated and definitely didn’t proceed to get more intoxicated. ;)
Hangover Breakfast: How did you guys meet?
Patti Melt: It’s a long story but mainly Jake (Pink Lemonade) and I worked at Amy’s Ice Cream together.
Pink Lemonade: We met through cream.
PM: Not the band.
PL: But partly the band.
Dixie Lixx: Then Chase joined.
PM: Then chase joined. but he was part of the cream! And then this lovely lady…
DL: And then… he mentioned me. I had no idea what the fuck kind of music we we’re gonna play. I had already been to a practice-
PM: The first practice she was late-
DL: I had a meeting!
PM: She was an hour late because there was a miscommunication and I was like “who is this tramp?! She thinks she can like buy our time!!!” and then she showed up and she was like “Oh my god I thought I was like right on time!” and we were all “well we’re glad you’re here.”
DL: And we fuckin ruled together!
Sigourney Fever: She sat down and she heard the bare skeletons and she was like “alright here we go!”
PL: It was a match made in hell
PM: It just made sense. I don’t think any of us put any perpetual motion into place. It just like fuckin happened and it was beautiful when it did happen. I had worked so hard to make a good band and this was the one time I didn’t try that hard. But I was like “oh thank god you’re fuckin beautiful people. I love you.”
HB: You mean you didn’t have tryouts?
PM: Oh we absolutely had tryouts.
PL: Me and Louis would jam together and finally we got tired of sitting on our asses and we decided to play
PM: we started playing just the two of us and then we ran into Chase and he was like “why am I not in this band” and we were like “A-DOY!” and you can put “A-DOY” on the record because I was like this is stupid that you’re not part of this band.
HB: OK you guys OKAY! I’m just gonna get fucking right down to it. Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You?” OK GO!
SF: The reason I choose Dolly Parton’s performance of “I Will Always Love You” is because I first saw it on “Howdy Doody” on PBS. It was like a re-airing of a “Howdy Doody” episode and she had the “Barbie” logo but it said “Dolly” and she was wearing a pink jumpsuit.
DL: And that sold you?!
HB: Why, what do you think Dixie Lixx?
DL: I say neither
SF: She had the coolest camel toe of all time
Louis: OG Camel Toe
DL: Neither. I don’t care about either of them.
PM: I stand by Whitney. I think she lost her fuckin mind. I’m all about Whitney. She tore it up. I love Dolly-don’t get me wrong. But that’s like Whitney’s game. Don’t pee on my fuckin house. Like don’t come shit on my house. As far as Whitney’s concerned I’m just like Dolly keep it easy girl. That’s Whitney’s jam.
PL: I just wanna hear em do a duet. That’s my thing.
PM: We will re-animate that bitch
HB: Who or what are you influenced by?
PM: Oh man, that’s a good question. I think it’s mainly like existence that influences what we do.
HB: Existence?
PM: Yeah existence, haven’t you heard of them?
DL: Are they a “no wave” band?
PL: We grew up with rock n roll with the Ramones and then we turned to Sonic Youth for advice.
DL: I’m just gonna flat out say the Birthday Party. For me personally, the Birthday Party.
SF: We already said Sonic Youth… Patti Smith.
PM: Patti Smith is our mom. “Just Kids” is our bible.
SF: I wish I could live that book.
DL: And the book “This Band Could Be Your Life.”
PL: Next question.
PM: I like really believe in like interplanetary beings but like I also really don’t believe in that bullshit.
PL: Alright, here we go.
DL: That was like a non-statement
HB: What do you think about “hero worship?”
SF: OK, this is how I feel about her worship. Hero worship is ok until it gets creepy.
DL: Until you murder the person you’re really into
SF: I use hero worship as a way to get through my day. You know like I respect this person and they’ve made their artwork-
HB: I feel like celebrities when they’re accessible is-
PM: When people are accessible it’s charming because they’re giving you that access. They transcend a certain existence. They’re not somebody you can relate to but generally you think you can which is really funny to me because if you go up and talk to that person you’ll be shakin in your boots. You think they’re badass and then when you see them it’s either flat soda or it’s like someone that’s really charming.
DL: I think that’s the charm in meeting someone famous that’s normal. It makes being amazing more accessible. It seems like it’s human. Heroes always seem like they’re something bigger than you so there’s a joy in the fact that they’re not. They take a shit just like you.
HB: 2 questions from that then-what are your goals as a band and what is the worst shit that you’ve ever taken?
PM: I’ll start it off. I think our main goal is spreading a message of love and self respect. That’s really all I’m concerned with. I don’t care what other people mark you as or identify you as or understand you as. That’s not important. We’re gonna make the music we make regardless of who we are or what we do. We try to be people and we have the right to be people in different shapes. If we’re gonna try to explain ourselves… I’m not gonna answer your question.
PL: I’ll do it! Our goal as a band is to express a lot of things, darkness being one of them. Love is good, love is great but being a person and being an individual is also great. There’s a darkness that comes along with being who you really are and our band is a lot about trying to express that. We’re trying to do something that’s pure but it’s just disgusting. Pure disgust.
DL: Also there’s a solitude in creation that people don’t really perceive for the most part because they only see you when you’re onstage and what you do when you’re alone and you’re creating… I mean with us it’s a collective thing. We’ll make things in the studio and we’re like “Holy fuck! Yes!” This stuff makes us really excited about making stuff and that’s something that people don’t really get to see until we’re onstage performing. And people having a fucking blast watching us because we’re having a fucking blast playing.
HB: Do you think your shows are organic?
DL: I can’t see the setlist so yeah.
PL: I only eat organic so of course.
HB: Well that brings me back to your shits. What is the worst shit you’ve ever taken?
PL: Alright, alright. I’ll start off. I was 5. I had a bad shit. It wasn’t comin out and I was like “mooom! mooom! It’s not comin out!” and she was like “well just try harder!” and what I learned is that when you do try really hard you can accomplish a lot of shit.
DL: That’s a great statement.
HB: “Everybody Poops” is the message of Pooper Burns?
SF: Everybody Poops.
HB: Who has the biggest dildo?
PM: It’s definitely me but it’s been in a box for 2 years.
DL: I have a vibrator, I don’t have a dildo. What good is a dildo?
PL: I have a sharpie and I have my finger. That’s pretty much it.
DL: it’s all about clitoral stimulation. It’s not about the vibrator.
HB: What do you think about the clit?
SF: What do I think about the clit? It’s a mystery to me but I love her. The clit is a beautiful thing. I would not be who I am without it.
HB: What exciting things do we have to look forward to from you guys?
PL: A Record in the Summer 2015. You’re gonna be sweating bullets and your’e gonna wanna jam something that’s gonna make you cold and dead.
PM: And by the time you wipe the sweat off your asscrack we’re gonna have another record ready for you.
PL: and we will wipe it.
PM: If you call us and request it.
DL: We made the recordings at Resonate Studios. They fuckin rule.
PL: Louie Leno!
PM: Such a cool guy. I can’t imagine anybody else we could’ve recorded with doing better.
HB: How did you guys hook up with him?
SF: Through John Wesley Coleman.
DL: Through Tinder.
PM: JWC hooked us up with him but he had like mad strep throat at the time so we were like “cool just stay home.”
PL: I was kind of scared of him. I mean I’m normally scared of him but then especially.
HB: IF you guys could describe your band in one word, what would it be?
PM: Magic.
SF: Explosive.
PL: Nerve.
DL: I don’t know, these guys got it. I’m terrible with words.
PL: Her word is “nothingness.”
BUY THEIR LATEST ALBUM: bandcamp at popperburns.bandcamp.com and buy their single for a mere $1,000.
Hey y'all, Eternal Tweens was sweet and dumb enough to let me write a post about the Spice Girls for them. Check it out and get fangirl (or boi) over all of their other posts too. lubb, Deb GRRL Power!
Essay by Deborah White from Hangover Breakfast
The Spice Girls made me a feminist. Now this may seem like a bold and confusing statement, but looking back I truly believe they were at least partially responsible for my current beliefs on equality. The Spice Girls were the first to show me women can do anything a man can. And they can do it in 8 inch platforms.
I first saw The Spice Girls on an awards show my dad taped. From a lot of conclusive research (a Google search I just did), I believe this was in February of 1997 on the Brit awards. I was almost 9 years old.
My dad was always interested in all girl bands/groups and pop music in general and I owe him a lot for making me the cultured 26 year old I am today.
However, the first time I watched the video I was annoyed because I knew he was perving on these girls. And then he watched over. And over. And over.
About the 50th time he watched it something clicked for me. Suddenly I thought, “these girls are so cool.”
After that, they were my biggest heroes. They were smart, sassy, and sexy. I knew (even as a kid) they were using everything they had as women, including a lot of sex appeal, to take over the world. My dad thought they were hot, sure. But I know he also loved their pop sensibility and the fact that they were strong women made them more attractive.
As part of our on-going series, we here at Hangover Breakfast know, you’re broke and have at least a few people you wanna give a little something special to for Xmas. Since we all know you’re wonderfully degenerate, same as us, we cooked up some weed chocolates to share with a few friends as gifts. Hey, gotta get through the days spent with the fam somehow. We know you’re broke, so luckily, you don’t have to use a ton of weed. There are many methods, this is ours.
Chocolate + Weed = Seasons Tidings!
What You’ll Need:
Makes about 10-12 chocolates
Ingredients:
4g Good Quality Bud
2 Bars Good Quality Chocolate (We cheated - use regular chocolate, not the baking kind)
5 TBSP Salted Butter
Optional: Chopped nuts, sprinkles, etc
Materials:
Small pot
Glass Pyrex bowl
Herb Grinder
Rubber spatula
Coffee Filter, Sieve, or Cheesecloth
Silicone Ice Cube Trays/molds
Step 1: Decarboxylate your weed.
This is a fancy science word that basically says to synthesize the inactive cannabinoids into active cannabinoids - aka something your body can utilize - by cooking your weed a very low temperature. Since you won’t be heating it up with a pipe or vape - this is important. Low heat throughout this whole process is key.
Grind your weed first fairly finely. We used 4g, ground and spread out on an oven safe bowl (a pie plate or pyrex should work fine too) covered with foil for about 1.5 hours at 230F. Using a gas stove, we just turned it to right after we heard the pilot for the oven come on.
Step 2: Make cannabutter (or cannaoil if you’re vegan)
Since we’re making such a small amount (we’re bitches on a budget, duh) we used about 5 TBSP of butter for our 4g of weed. Coconut oil and Olive oil both work too, just match the flavor profile to whatever you’re making.
A) Using the double boiler method (a glass bowl and a pot) bring water to a boil, then turn heat to low. Make sure water the water level isn’t touching the bottom of the top bowl. You don’t want to cook or burn either the oil or weed.
B) Once boiling, add butter to bowl and reduce heat to simmer. Melt butter fully, then add decarbed weed. Stir in and let simmer- stirring every 5-10 minutes. Best results, simmer for at least 2-3 hours.
Let the butter cool for about 10 minutes.
Step 3: Strain Butter using a cheesecloth or coffee filter. We used the metal single serve king and it worked pretty well. If you’re strapped and don’t have either, a pair of panty hose works ok too. It won’t necessarily work as well, but it’ll get rid of the bigger bits.
Step 4: Melt Chocolate
Go back to your double boiler and add the chocolate. If you’re Janet, Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty, don’t wash out the butter. Melt the chocolate in the same bowl.
Same idea as butter, using low heat, wait til chocolate is completely melted.
We did 2 different types of chocolate, so we did steps 4-6 twice.
Step 5: Add cannabutter to chocolate - Use about 1 chocolate bar (about 5g of chocolate) to 2.5g bud. We split our butter into two for two different chocolates.
Step 6: Make candies. Using silicone molds - ice cube trays are good- fill the tray with nuts, candies, sprinkles, etc, if you want to use these. Pour chocolate into tray. (You can buy cute shaped molds for cheap lots of places.)
Put in freezer until solid. If you wanna get fancy (we did), you can use white and dark chocolates. If you want to make 2-toned chocolate, you just freeze the first layer, then once solid, pour the 2nd layer, and re-freeze.
Once the chocolate is solid, pop the chocolates out of the molds, and you’re done! You can keep refrigerated til you give your gift to keep from melting. Use tiny cupcake wrappers to place chocolates on and keep it sanitary if you’re giving them away individually. Put in a cute tiny box (see our tutorial here) and give to your favorite 420 friendly pal.
12 Days of Crafts-mas: Illuminati Gift Box/Ornament
If you’re like us and think Jay-Z and his secret posse are secretly ruling the world via secret societies, you’ll want to make this ornament so they can rule your Xmas.
It can also be used as a tiny gift box to put candies or other trinkets inside. We suggest these Cannabis Chocolates that we made.
Difficulty: Easy
What You’ll Need:
Heavy Card Stock
Template: Download here
Scissors
Ribbon/string
Hole Punch
Tape
Printer
Step 1: Download pre-printed template. (Ours is blank for demonstration purposes, but we did the work for you and made the Illuminati pyramid for you. You’re welcome.)
Print the first one out on cardstock. If you don’t want the design or want to make your own, print it and tape it to cardstock, then cut around it.
Step 2: Fold along design edges. (Pictured: the dotted lines.)
Step 3: Punch Holes in the top corners
Step 4: Using ribbon or string, make an “S” shape through all the holes you just punched. "S" shape because it’ll stay together best that way. If you plan on using it as a gift box, just tie it once so it can be un-tied.
Step 5: Tie a second knot at the top and make a decorative bow.
Fill it with confetti, candies or other stuff. Or just hang it on a tree as-is.
As a life-long fanatic of both extreme music and horror movies, I jumped at the opportunity to speak with co-founder Philip H. Anselmo, of Pantera, (interview to be found elsewhere on this blog) and cover the Housecore Horror Fest! What follows is by no means a comprehensive guide to the fest. I missed many important events and I don’t want anyone to think that what I write about is all there was to see. There was so much fun to be had that no mere mortal could have absorbed it all, but I tried dammit! So here is the story of my awesome weekend at the Housecore Horror Festival!
I had to miss Thursday and Friday’s festivities due to my day job and my night job getting in the way, but arrived on Saturday just as Chicago legends Macabre were taking the Midway stage. These “murder metal” legends are approaching 30 years on the scene, and all of those years with the original trio in tact. They started the set with “Zodiac” from 1993’s Sinister Slaughter being accompanied on stage by a man in a hoof with two fake pistols who alternately posed with crossed arms or wandered around stage pretending to shoot people while Corporate Death (aka Lance) ran around shrieking into his headset mic and shredding. Macabre mostly write songs about serial killers, and each song was prefaced by a brief history of the killer in question. Lance related an anecdote about attending Dahmer’s trial in Chicago with his mother before launching into “The Trial” from their record named for the infamous cannibal. While their subject matter is always grim, the Macabre guys obviously approach the whole thing with their tongues comfortable lodged in their cheeks. The boys were joined on stage by the singer from Panzerfaust for a cover of Venom’s “Countess Bathory”, which got the crowd shouting along and throwing up the horns.
Next up at Midway were the grandfathers of grind: Birmingham’s NAPALM DEATH. Napalm Death are the rare group that have only gotten better and more vicious with age. Barney and the boys came racing out of the gate with “The Silence is Deafening”, a breakneck anthem that has a riff that sounds like a grindcore version of the “Imperial Death March”. Plagued with sound issues early on, the band were unphased and slammed through songs spanning their career, including crowd favorites “Human Garbage”, “Scum” and the hilarious “You Suffer”, the shortest single ever released. We also got to hear two brand new songs that could stand shoulder to shoulder with any of the bands monstrous blasterpieces. The set was rounded out with their virtually unrecognizable cover of “Nazi Punks (Fuck Off)” which had everyone (trying to) sing along. As a huge fan, this set was something I’ve waited a long time for and I was definitely not disappointed.
After having my ass handed to me by Napalm Death, I decided to take a look around the vendors area. There were lots of great horror tees, little meet and greet booths with cast members from the first two Texas Chainsaw Massacre films, and since the artist lounge entrance was in the same courtyard, lots of musicians ambling about. I got to chat with Lance from Macabre for a split second. We nerded out about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre for a minute (turns out the name Macabre came from the disclaimer in the beginning of the film) and then shopped around for cool horror swag.
Every October I try to watch a horror movie every day, and I wasn’t about to make an exception while attending a horror festival, so I decided to check out the VHS Vomitorium. I have to say, this was PERFECT. The Vomitorium was set up in a small room off the courtyard which housed: a flatscreen TV, a VCR, two couches, several folding chairs and TWO FUCKING BEANBAGS. YESSSSSSSS. This was my ideal movie viewing scenario. We watched the Mutilator, a no budget 80’s cheeseball slasher that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was the perfect movie to poke fun at in a room full of metal/horror fans. If I could have I would have spent the whole weekend in there, but the show must go on…
After grabbing some tacos, I headed over to the Emo’s stage to check out Oakland doomsayers NEUROSIS. Jesus Christ, this was by far the heaviest live set I’ve ever witnessed. Dipping into the classics early, the band brought hell down on our heads with a pummeling rendition of “Locust Star” proving they haven’t lost their bite. As a fan of the bands heavier output more so than the more melodic and somber direction of their later records, I was happy that they mostly stuck to the devastators with more subdued tracks like “The Tide” giving occasional respite from the sonic abuse. Given time restraints of the festival atmosphere, I don’t think they got to play their full setlist, but that is the folly of having ten-minute songs with several minutes of ambient noise interludes. Still, incredible set.
I was dubious when I found out that GWAR were continuing on after the death of frontman Oderus Urungus (you may know him by his Earthling name Dave Brockie). So much of what made GWAR work was the charisma and talent of Brockie, it almost seemed blasphemous to try to carry on in his absence. Thankfully, GWAR have handled the shift reverently and stayed totally true to their legacy. The band opened with “Fly Now” fronted by a Magic Mirror showing Oderus on a flying surfboard launching through a time tunnel (I think).
As with any GWAR show the narrative is a little shaky, but we are basically told that Oderus has travelled to the future, where he was killed by some giant monster or other, who we get to witness being torn apart later in the evening. Now fronted primarily by Blothar (portrayed by Michael Bishop, the original Beefcake), the group launched into songs old and new accompanied with the usual blood spewing stage antics and simulated drug use. Newest addition to the crew Vulvatron sang a bit, but she was mostly relegated to backing vocals or trading leads with Blothar within a song. I wasn’t terribly impressed with her vocals, but really, no one can hold a candle to Oderus. The band closed the night out with the classic “Road Behind”, a Pet Shop Boys Song, and a cover of Jim Carrol’s “People Who Died”, which seemed a fitting tribute to the fallen Scumdog, even changing the last chorus to “Oderus died, died, died”. If there were many skeptics in the crowd before they played, I don’t think any left as everyone that I encountered were grinning ear to ear while covered in myriad simulated body fluids.
Sadly, we had to duck out early and missed the screening of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the ensuing Q&A with the cast. This was the first time the entire cast (sadly minus Marilyn Burns, RIP) has been gathered in one place since the films release 40 years ago and was a real coup for the fest. I was sad to miss it because I’ve talked to Gunnar Hansen (“Leatherface”) before and my goodness, there are some great anecdotes from the filming of that one. Oh well, can’t win ‘em all I guess. Like I said, this is by no means comprehensive coverage of the sprawling festival.
Sunday I was at my day job, still sort of giddy from the night before. When you see GWAR, part of the fun is telling everyone what they missed the next day. As I was slanging vegan yums-yums, a middle-aged fella with long black hair, a leather jacket and black skinny jeans sat at the counter. The whole time I was ringing up his take-out order I was trying to figure out where I knew this dude from. Then he gave me his card and I realized it was London May from the legendary SAMHAIN!
Now, bumping into London May probably wouldn’t mean much to most people, but I’ve been a devotee of all things Danzig related since I was just a wee lad, so I marked out pretty hard. He was very nice, expressed much gratitude that Austin has such quality vegan options (I guess pickings are slim in New Jersey?) and revealed to me that his favorite horror movie of all time is the original Dawn of the Dead (a movie that mostly bores the shit out of me, but I didn’t tell him that! I know it’s a classic, sue me!).
We arrived at Midway just as SUPERJOINT RITUAL were taking the stage. Phil Anselmo’s supergroup have not performed in ten years and when I talked with Phil early in the week he had expressed reluctance to do it at all or ever again. This was not evident in the band’s performance as they effortlessly slammed through a set that melded hardcore punk and NOLA-flavored metal. Phil was all smiles and jokes as he related the history of some of the songs and showed his appreciation to the crowd for making the fest such a success, dropping his drunk-uncle demeanor long enough to vocally obliterate eardrums in scant two to three minute blasts of sonic weedsmoke like “Fuck Your Enemy” and “Stealing a Page or Two from Armed and Radical Pagans”. Closing out with their eponymous anthem, the band seemed like not a day had passed since their last show, and the crowd were definitely left hoping that this is not in fact the one-off reunion that Phil had insisted it would be.
I then went around the film viewing tents on the back lot to see what the Horror aspect of the horror fest has to offer. The screening tents were mostly vacant every time I went by, which is a bummer because I know a lot of up-and-comers had films showing and were excited about the assumed exposure. Honestly, the layout of the fest was just sort of awkward and I’m really not sure Emo’s/Midway is the most appropriate place to try something like this. Sitting outside in folding chairs next to a loud generator while hearing bands playing and dozens of people talking nearby is not necessarily the ideal way to take in a picture. Still the effort was appreciated and the film schedule was stacked with classics alongside new releases, shorts and music related videos. Definitely an awesome concept and flawless line-up, but maybe a little lacking in execution.
After a taco break, I headed in to Emo’s to check out Arlington’s Warbeast. This is some throwback, puffy white sneaker thrash of the highest order. Fronted by Bruce Corbitt of Rigor Mortis (who I also missed, god dammit) and featuring the “thrash master” Scott Shelby of Gammacide on guitar, these guys are pros and it shows. Shelby’s grandiose style and the no frills shouts of Corbitt combine to make this a real breath of fresh air for old school metalheads who tire of new groups trying to reinvent the genre or experiment with the formula. In the world of Warbeast, if it ain’t broke, don’t fuck with it.
Then it was time for NOLA’s sludge superstars EYEHATEGOD to obliterate everything in their path. The guitar tone spread like thick black tar over the crowd, pierced by Mike William’s anguished screams and the occasional howl of feedback. Through the sea of sludge the band picked up the pace with a couple of quick ragers, including the classic “Lack of Almost Anything” and the breakneck “Agitation! Propaganda!”. They ended with a cut from what I think many people consider their best album Dopesick, the devastating dirge that is “My Name Is God (I Hate You)”. Our ears rang out in approval.
As I mentioned before, I’ve been a lifelong Danzig diehard. The Misfits are my favorite band, with Samhain a pretty high contender, and I’ve loved Danzig’s solo output by and large (Circle of Snakes is a real shitburger, but I even liked the pseudo-industrial stuff!), so this was definitely the set that I was most excited for. After several minutes of technical difficulties (honestly I think the sound dudes just didn’t realize one of the heads wasn’t turned on) the band launched into the obligatory new stuff that few people give a shit about before giving us the real meat to chew on. The crowd erupted as the opening chords to “Not of This World” rang out, beginning a barrage of crowd favorites played mostly chronologically and including “How the Gods Kill” and “Dirty Black Summer”! They then played their song written for the Hangover 2 soundtrack for the first time live (according to Danzig) and ended the first part of the Danzig-section of the proceedings with “Twist of Cain” which had everyone in the building singing along!
Then it was time for the Samhain mini-set. Flanked by Steve Zing, the original drummer, on guitar and London May on bass, the group layed into some Initium era stompers. The boys were a little shaky at first and Danzig was visibly annoyed, but that didn’t stop the crowd from launching into a full nostalgia uproar. Everyone was in a frenzy by the time Danzig strapped on a guitar for a rousing rendition of “Archangel”. Yes, he just strummed a D chord the whole time, but it was still pretty fucking cool to see Danzig playing an instrument live for the first time in my life!
After a short break the Danzig-proper line up returned to the stage for an encore consisting of the Danzig 4 devastator “Bringer of Death” and a very special version of the hit “Mother” with Phil Anselmo on backing vocals. Phil was clearly inebriated and maybe didn’t know all the words exactly, but it was still a blast to witness! I’ve seen Danzig live a few times, but this was the first time that the band seemed to really be enjoying themselves, grinning as they bounced around stage and clearly not taking themselves too terribly seriously. It was definitely a blast and a fitting end to an incredible weekend.
I’m sad that I missed out on so many highlights during the festival. I would like to have seen either of the TCM or TCM 2 sceenings/reunions, and I wished I’d had more time to check out the films, but I was still blown away by my experience. Everyone there was having so much fun sharing their love of extreme music and horror and it was truly infectious. Sadly, the day after the festival ended, co-founder Corey Mitchell died of a heart attack. I regret that I never got to meet the man that so many spoke so highly of. It is sad to think of all the things that lay ahead for him, but better that we think of his legacy and the joy that he brought to so many lives. Though the future of the festival is anyone’s guess now, no one can deny what the man helped to accomplish with it these past two years. He will truly be missed by those who knew him, and as someone who reaped so much happiness from the fruits of his labor, I can only say thank you, and rest in peace.
D: So let’s talk about the Housecore Horrorfest. How did this project get started and how did you meet Corey Mitchell?
P: Corey’s a guy that I was introduced to a handful of years ago and he and I are going to be working on my book, which has really taken a backseat honestly right now because I’ve been so busy. But eventually we’re gonna squeeze that in. Really, upon one of our first meetings here at the homestead he saw my horror movie collection, which is like a friggin museum and he basically just suggested, “Man, you should throw a horror movie fest” and I was probably like, “yeah, yeah”
and then he said something like, “No, if you got bands too it’d be incredible”. Next thing you know it all became a reality. We threw our first, I guess we can call it “annual” now, the first one last year and it was a blast with all the bands and all the flicks that we showed. So many different highlights: Goblin scoring Suspiria live and Dale Crover playing with Eyehategod. Unbelievable stuff. This years bigger, this year’s better, this year’s band line-up is super intense and the films that we’re showing are very, very cool. I’m looking forward to it. Right now, you know, we leave tonight at midnight so I’m in full “let’s get ready to party” mode. It’s gonna be a blast.
D: I’ve heard about your VHS collection. How are massive are we talking about?
P: Dude…it’s MASSIVE. I’m staring at a great section of it right now. I don’t know…thousands of VHS. DVD’s everywhere. Really, my VHS collection is ridiculous. It takes up a few walls here in my room downstairs and upstairs I got a closet full that I don’t even know where the hell to put. It’s something that I just started doing as a young man when I could afford to do so and I haven’t stopped since, man. And then of course with time, here came DVD, so y’know you try to get all the stuff that you have on VHS on DVD but that’s next to impossible, especially when you have all the rarities. It’s tough to find certain flicks. It’s huge, man. It’s huge.
D: What do you think is the most rare VHS that you have? Or maybe, not even the most rare, just your most treasured VHS?
P: Ohhh man, I was looking at a few yesterday cuz I had some friends stop over. But you know, I have a boxed copy of the Sinful Dwarf that’s pretty unique. A flick that not many people know about would be the Return of the Aliens, the Deadly Spawn. Very, once again a unique find. And then, you know, if you dig a little bit deeper, I got a flick called the Vij.
D: Interesting. I’ve never heard of that one.
P: It’s incredible man. SO fucking good. You’d love it, trust me. You’d love it.
D: So do you handpick all the films for the fest yourself?
P: You know, I definitely have my hand in films that are available, y’know, I’ll get lists and things like that and I’ll slowly highlights the ones that I think are absolutely imperative. Then you know of course Corey Mitchell and a handful of other cohorts might suggest other things and wanna show what they have and what not. But for the most part it’s gotta go through me. And really, I’m a horror movie guy, cuz you know there are some music related videos that I guess are definitely important. Like, we’re showing parts of if not the entirety of the Rigor Mortis Story, which I grew up with those guys in Ft. Worth, TX at the time, and the Randy Blythe special. I’m not really, it’s not my speed. I’m more of a really a horror movie guy. Band movies really aren’t my thing, but I understand that a lot of people like it, so we’re definitely gonna cater to that audience as well. And I leave that up to other people to suggest.
D: Well, that’s cool, too, cuz it unifies the theme of the fest with the metal and the horror. I wanted to ask you, which did you get into first: horror or metal?
P: Well, I think the way it worked for me was I grew up in a house, a tiny little apartment in the French quarter with my mother at the time, and she adored horror films and really television back then here in New Orleans was very kind to the horror fan. My first memories, y’know, we had the horror flick that would show on Friday nights, and then Saturday afternoons we had the Creature Features, then Saturday Nights we had the horror host that would show whatever he showed, but really my favorite one was the Sunday morning movie that had everything from Bad Ronald to How Awful about Allan, to Fiend Without a Face, etc. etc. Even Attack of the Mushroom People. I also grew up in a house full of music, but I guess back then it was more Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, popular music at the time. Remember, I’m old.
D: That kind of brings up another thing I wanted to talk about. You’re known as sort of a heavy metal guy. What are some bands that you’re into that would surprise people?
P: I love music of all sorts, man. And I know about the “heavy metal guy” thing but that’s just really where I guess fate stepped in and I’ve embraced heavy metal and I’ve had some great fortune with Pantera and Down and Superjoint and all that. SO I’ve had success there, but I mean, music to me….I love everything from old 60’s stuff—I love 50’s music, man! Even 40’s music. I like Nina Simone, and I like 80’s pop because it was very good. The new wave bands. I like the Smiths, I love Swans. Oh shit, going back further, I think the Beatles are one of the greatest bands ever. I don’t know if that’s gonna be surprising to anybody. Geez, I mean, the first 4 U2 records to be honest, are classic. Like I say, man, I’m a fan of so much stuff The Church! Gosh, man, I could keep going. You opened up a wild box, man!
D: No, I think the U2 thing might surprise some people.
P: Yeah but, when you go back and listen to the War record…
D: I do like that one.
P: Of COURSE you do!
D: So you mentioned Superjoint. I know y’all are reuniting for the Fest. How did that come about?
P: Ohhh, peer pressure. Superjoint was really the last thing on my mind, but my peers that have a hand in the festival were like, “come on, Phil! Come on, Phil!” so I begrudgingly brought it up to Jimmy Bower who was a big part of Superjoint, and he was very excited about the idea. From there on we got together and jammed some and it sounds killer. So really, in our minds, this is a one off thing completely. So, uh, that makes it that much more special because I really doubt I’ll be doing Superjoint after this. I wanna write another solo record. 2015 around summer time or maybe the fall, I wanna start on the next Down EP. So I’m gonna be a busy cat, this Superjoint thing is definitely looking like a one-off. 99.9% sure.
D: Right, but you never know…
P: You gotta keep an open mind.
D: Well, I’m excited about it. I never got to see y’all the first time around. I checked out the first two episodes of the Metal Grasshopper web series you’re doing with Dave Hill.
P: (laughs)
D: That’s some hilarious shit. How did that come about?
P: Sean from White Zombie, her husband Chris Lee, we’re all fantastic friends, me and my lady Kate and Sean and Chris, we hang out and we party together and what not. Chris is really a jack-of-all-trades, and really his calling is I guess, what you see in Metal Grasshopper. He’s a comedian. And we got to know each other well and really, I despite maybe what people may see or perceive, because on stage I have my own persona, but really, I’m a jokester. I’m a cut-up, really, and we were introduced to Dave Hill who is a very funny, hilarious dude. And he takes a good beating. I think we worked real well together. I got to play the part of a bully, which is kind of funny in itself because I guess the old championship wrestling days come back when I get to play the bully, play the bad guy so to speak. And uh, Dave, he’s doing his part with his patheticness, etc. Anyway, that thing was a BLAST to make and I can’t wait for the other ones to come out cuz there is absolute horseshit alamode for everyone so hopefully y’all enjoy that one.
D: Yeah, I liked it a lot. It was good to see you taking the piss and having fun with your image.
P: Yeah, that’s the thing, too. So many heavy metal bands out there take themselves so fucking seriously when in all reality all we’re doing is making music one way or another, whatever it may be. Whatever genre it may be. It’s my message to them: “Quit taking yourself so seriously, you motherfucker!” Cuz really, I know Norwegian Black metallers that are, in truth, really funny people with a fantastic sense of humor. Even Death Metal bands from Australia, which I think is the best death metal scene these days, all those cats are fucking hilarious motherfuckers. They take what they do very seriously, but they’re also cut-ups. We’re all kinda in the same boat. So, like I say, fuck it. Have some goddamn fun before you can’t.
D: So tell me about your solo project the Illegals. What inspired you to start that up? Did you just want to have more control in a project?
P: I’m a musician, y’know? I’m a musician first, and I think it’s my duty to explore as many genres as I possibly can. My main band has been Down for many years, and really that’s just one expression of music that I can put out there. So, I wanted to do something a little more edgy, Something a little more rickety and abrupt. Ohh, god there’s so many adjectives I could use for it. Either way, I’m already writing new stuff for the next release and each one, I think, has it’s own personality and each one should be different and it’s really a band can do anything I want with. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have complete control over it. I beg for input. And right now I’m getting some good input and working with the guys that I’m working with and really having a good time with it. Just another chapter in the old Anselmo catalog, which is pretty long. For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been in a LOT of fucking bands over the years. It’s not a one off thing. This is something that I can do and have my freedom to do. If I want to put out a heavy metal record, I’ll do it. If I want to put out a friggin flute and mandolin record I can do it.
D: People would buy it, I’m sure!
P: It’s freedom, man!
D: So will we be seeing the return of Anton Crowley any time soon?
P: See, that’s hilarious! You know what happened with that was…I was signed to a major label obviously with Pantera and contractually bound to the gills at that point and at the time we were just wrapping up the second Christ Inversion record and we had the opportunity to do two Necrophagia releases which I played guitar on. Actually, the singer for Christ Inversion plays drums on that. And at the time of course we realized that we couldn’t use my real name and I was on tour when I found out that my name was Anton Crowley! (laughs) It was not even my choice, man. Oh my God, man. The cheesiest name you could ever come up with. I was down, no big deal. But, from here on out I’m what I like to call a “free agent”. I get to put my real name on whatever the fuck I want, so rest in peace, Anton Crowley.
D: You have total control now because you have your own label, Housecore Records. So, what’s in store for that? What are some releases you have coming up or projects that you’re excited about?
P: Man, this upcoming year is really big for us I think because we’ve got some great bands. There’s a band HYMNS, I think they’re doing a full length with us. There’s a band called FULGORIA, which is a lot of the guys from Pig Destroyer and they are INSANE, man. I’ve got some demos that they’ve doe for the record that they’re gonna put out with us and it’s like crazy. It’s like almost Deathspell Omega style complexity. And then there’s a great band from Michigan that I’m putting out who are very, very unique called Child Bite. They are a really, really tripped out band, very talented. But yeah, we’re looking forward to all that. And also, I had a band on the label called HAARP. They broke up and they are going back to more their grindcore roots, which that’s kinda how they started out as a band called Rat in a Bucket. Now the name of the band is GRISTNAM. I’ll be putting that sucker out, too. Matter of fact, I just got the vinyl in on that and checked it out and it’s a-okay to go. So that should be up real soon, So, yeah this is a great big year for us. Once again, I’m writing another solo record. We got some great releases for next year. I’m producing the next Author & Punisher record. He’s coming back with me after the Horrorfest. We’ll have our Halloween, and we’ll have our party time, and we all know that Sunday is sacred to the game of NFL Football. Other than that, we’re gonna produce that sucker and have that out on Housecore records and I’m very excited for that. Tristan Shone, the main guy, builds all of his instruments from the ground up. That’s gonna be a very interesting project right there. There’s a lot to look forward to. And after I do that, in November, Fulgora comes in and they’re gonna do a split with Gristnam. They’re gonna come here and record….at least the drum parts because Pig Destroyer’s playing in town on the 22nd here in New Orleans and after that they’re gonna crash here, head over to the studio, knock that shit out. And then, December, I’m booked with DOWN all the way through Christmas on a tour with King Parrot, Orange Goblin and the mighty B’Last. And then January I have Australia’s King Parrot coming in and that’s ANOTHER band I’m putting out on Housecore and producing so…..it’s gonna be a rollercoaster but at least it’s gonna be a fun roller coaster.
Housecore Horror and The 40th Anniversary Reunion of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
Interview: Nillie Welson
Photos: Julie Bishop
Guys and Ghouls Halloween is almost here. Can you smell the dead bodies piling up, got the rusty blood taste in your mouth, and hear the blood curdling screams? You’re either about to go to jail or chances are you’re privy to Housecore Horror gearing up for the 2nd annual metal and horror film extravaganza. If you haven’t heard Austin is home of the only festival in Texas that is dedicated to the business of thrashin’ and horror movies…what more do you need in life? A fucking ticket, no doy! Get on it. Time’s a tickin’!
Zuri Garcia: I’m just curious how Housecore Horror got started?
Nic “Machine” Brown: Co-founder Phillip Ansemo from Pantera and Down is writing a biography with Corey Mitchell and they were hanging out a bunch getting to know each other before getting into the writing process and came to a strong bond over love of metal and horror all and of course you had Phillip who is, you know, the god of metal and Corey had a background with metal bands and being in the scene in general and they got this crazy idea in the back of their heads to maybe show some horror films to a small group of friends and just hang out. Initially it was going to be something maybe in a warehouse with a couple hundred people.
Then the more they started thinking about it and talking to close friends the idea started growing. About a year later Corey was at SXSW doing a panel and made a tongue in cheek comment about Housecore doing a film festival. About 6-8 months go by and they realize they could turn it into a larger format than originally. Hundreds turned into thousands of people. Celebrating the grossest, most obscene, rarely ever featured films people have never seen that were treasured by us.
ZG How did you get involved?
NB: I called everyone up and offered my services. I started off handing out cards and doing grunt work. I spent a few months doing the basics and after a couple of months I started talking to them asking them how I could help them. We started talking about different guests to bring to the festival. The nice thing about having a big team like we have is that we have so many different ideas and perspectives that I could bring up a band people have forgotten about that’s really awesome and they know these people that I’ve never even heard of and it’s really interesting.
ZG: What the fuck do you do for the fest?
NB: I love being that creative middleman. I put together the Chainsaw reunion after one phone call with Corey. I just ran with it.
We’re still a really small group of people that put this together. We have about a dozen and then a secret board that helps us. We have producers, helpers, bands that help us. We cover books, film, music… every format you can come up with. The films we show are on every possible format.
Z: Do you mostly feature 70s or 80s films?
Doesn’t matter how old it is as long as it’s GOOD. We wanna expose people to the classics. The more sick and twisted it is, the better. We showed a film that made people throw up last year. It was awesome.
Zuri: What movie was that?
It was our premiere of “The Profane Exhibit” by producer David Bond. It was a bunch of Italian film directors that do a bunch of particular segments and this particular one had to do with a baby… it was really really really far out there. It was sick and twisted and beautiful.
ZG: What bands are you excited about?
NB: Author and Punisher. Industrial is my bread and butter. We have Eye Hate God coming back, which is friggin phenonminal. They just put out a record with Phil’s label Housecore. We also have Gwar coming back and their new female front woman Vulvatron. She’s super stoked to be able to come. There are just so many bands. Superjoint ritual is going to be great. The lineup is gonna be Phillip Anselmo, Jimmy Bower, and Kevin Bond.
ZG: I know Phil is really connected but how did you even get this lineup? Looking at it I feel like you just put your favorite bands on a bill.
NB: That’s almost exactly how it is. Phil and Corey and even their partner Tami all know people in the industry or know how to get a hold of them. There are so many European bands especially and making it overseas you need to have that reach and Phil has it. This year we’re bringing in Portal from Australia Phil is obscenely obsessed with them.
Last year we were kicking around the idea of having Goblin play during “Suspiria” and they called them up and within like a week it was all set up. They had never been to North America and were just ecstatic to be able to come. They’re actually touring out with Zombie and have this whole new success.
When you start bringing out names like that people start to figure out what you’re about. We take the normal format of “please show up and stand in line for 6 hours and you might see a movie and say ‘fuck that, we’re gonna show movies all day.” It starts at butt ass crack in the morning. Last year we did “Bloody Mary Breakfast” and I think we started at 6 AM.
ZG: Where are you showing the films?
NB: Midway Field House and we also have grind house tents where we show 35mm, because we love the grit that actually comes with those films. Some of which we had to get directly from other directors or producers. Last year we had “Cat In The Brain,” “Scum of the Earth,” things like that. So there’s some real crazy classics I’m sure some people have never seen.
It’s really cool we were able to work with AGFA and use their 35mm reel. It’s so great we have the love of the community and the more we grow I hope that the reach will expand. Necromantic love!
ZG: How did you get the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” cast back together?
NB: With my background working in the convention circuit as a handler I’ve gotten to know some different actors and actresses. I had the pleasure of getting to know Edwin Neal and Gunnar a few years ago. I got to really know Edwin more than anybody. He’s a really great guy. He collects and sells original poster art so we were just talking about film art for a while and we hit it off.
So we were just talking about what to do this year and obviously the 40th anniversary came up and I was like ‘well I’ve met them before let me throw a few feelers out and see.”
I contacted their agents and we all got to talking. Everyone is always easy to talk to and work with but we’re new and so people wanna feel you out. I went through Tim Harden who works for their fan club and was like there’s no way I’m going to try to put this together without talking to the guy who knows more than anybody. We gave him a game plan and showed him what we did last year. We told him we’re not trying to make money; it’s for the love of the horror.
ZG: As a kid I remember watching that movie and being horrified but loving it. I grew up loving those films and I imagine it’s the same for you and you just wanna share those films with as many people as you can.
NB: Exactly. When I was a kid I was at home quite often and my mom gave me a Blockbuster card and she signed off the wavier and said ‘you know you can watch any horror movie you want but don’t watch “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” or “Last house on the Left.” So I put on my skates and went down and asked “do you have ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and they said “yep: and so I put that one on reserve and watched it and it made me throw up. There are lots of movies that are dear to my heart but that’s right up there in the top 5. They had to order “Last House on the Left.“
When we started talking about Chainsaw though it automatically went from us showing a film to actually making history. When we started talking to the first cast we started entertaining the idea reaching out to the “Texas Chainsaw II” cast who are all from here. They were all absolutely ready to go.
So we got them all ready to come down to celebrate and get together the largest “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” gathering ever ensembled AND we’re doing it in the birthplace of the films. It’s really exciting to get them all to come out and show everyone what Housecore is made of.
ZG: Was Danzig a little bitch? Did he need French onion soup?
NB: A thing I do have to give to what I will very openly refer to as “artists” and the bands, film makers, everything else… if you don’t feel the mood, the vibe… whether that’s because your banner isn’t hanging up or there’s some emo poser in front of you that you’re not gelling on, I understand you gotta be in your own head for your performance. You’ve worked hard to be where you are so if you wanna be a rock star, diva, go for it. If you don’t, cool. It seems with most of em if you just give em a platform, a joint, and a beer, they’re set!
ZG: What are you guys doing with books? I didn’t know you were covering books. Tell me about books.
NB: Corey Mitchell is one of the best true crime authors and he’s covered the “Ice-cream Shop Murders”
ZG: The murder that was here? The young chicks that got butchered? That shit’s pretty cool
NB: Yeah, he’s from Houston and there are a lot of murders there he’s written about. Every year is different but we try to get authors especially if they have a connection with bands or movie.
ZG: How many hours of fucking movies are you watching to get ready for this?
NB: We all spend hours and hours watching films. There are hundreds of movies. We really need to promote these films so we opened it up to everybody this year.
If it’s fucking awesome, even if it’s a minute long, we’re gonna show it. Last year there was a 4-minute film called “Burn” and it was one of the best fucking films I’ve seen in my life. The starting point of the premise is this guy’s dick in a vice and I was just like “oh shit this is gonna get good.”
Every one of the films that made it this year are just gonna be outstanding. The compilations and shorts we wanna show with the features to expose audiences that may not be ready for it.
ZG: Surpriiiise! There’s a dick in a thing!
NB: Friday the 13th last year we had Ari who played the original Jason Voorhees as a child come out for a Q&A before “Friday the 13th.” Before that we screened a fake trailer called “Mister Fister” and people just lost their shit. They thought this was the grossest legit movie they’d missed. It’s just this guy killing people through fisting. It pushes the boundaries of what’s exceptable and what’s not.
ZG: Were there any films you were just like “this is total shit” about?
NB: There are a ton. We’re showing the original “Rosemary’s Baby” because we just saw the remake on TV. Fuck remakes. We don’t need to see the same rehashed shit over and over again. There are plenty of original ideas out there. When we get submissions you will get a pile of shit but you just gotta dig and you will find that gem.
When we watch the films we rate it from 0 to 100. We could say like “88” cuz there’s a lopsided boob. When you’re rating on a scale like this there’s a personal feeling put into it. From that you get a feel for like “eh I dug this film but there’s room for improvement.” Then we do a thumbs up/thumbs down thing and some of them are so original and so awesome that they beat everything.
ZG: Where do the films come from?
NB: UK is the furthest the submissions come from. The reach is phenominal. We have some movies I had to watch with subtitles and I like a lot of foreign films and it’s nice to expose Americans to these fims because some of the best horror comes from Europe. We’re trying to force feed it. You know it’s like even if you don’t like it at least you’ve been exposed to it. It’s like “come to Jesus!”
ZG: What have been some of the challenges?
NB: Ticket sales… actually getting enough interest to get people to come out and want this to happen. We open them up before we have band or film announcements and it makes us feel good to have that faith from people that they want to buy tickets beforehand. We don’t like to look at this as a business but it still runs like one.
ZG: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
NB: Shit, I’m gonna be sleeping in bed. We went out last year during the fest which you know is during Halloween weekend and I’ll probably just end up hanging out whatever remnants are still hanging out still.
We went out last year with Mr. Dead the rap artist, Prince Paul from Scion AV, all of Goblin, Mr. Dead, David Bond and we went to a little cantina on dirty 6th. Everyone was dressed up in their fun gore and they loved it. We did a rating system as people walked by and we were yelling and getting people in the spirit of event. Getting them ready for a hellacious ball.
ZG: Anything else you’d like to let people know about Housecore Horror?
NB: What people may not know is we need fans to help produce this. The wheels that help turn this are the fans. We had like 5,000 people turn out last year and of course this will be even bigger than that and we don’t have that much of a capacity. We went from one Grind house stage to 3 this year. It’s gonna be obscene. We really need local Austin to show people that’s there’s welcome mat. We don’t want to be “just the other festival” but we wanna show the world they have a hub they can come to and expect to celebrate like no other place.
ZG: What’s your Hangover breakfast?
NB: Breakfast tacos!
ZG: Nooooo everyone says breakfast tacos!
NB: Chorizo and bacon in a breakfast taco. If it’s a really really bad hangover a little more beer.
For more info on the Housecore Horror Film Festival, visit their website here.
After a summer of work by the HB team, we're happy to announce a gallery show about Austin Live Music and Hometown Pride with photographs by our very own, Sarah Lim. Come rep and support this great city and check out some familiar faces!
They'll be giving away Canon swag and more- cameras, printers, concert tickets, etc. It's totally FREE and open to the public. But just one day only, so don't be the jerk who misses out or forgets to tell their friends.
You can bang whoever you want! But, every now and then you say…”self, settling down with a consistent partner…kinda sounds alright?” Then you remember it’s sooo hard to meet people and it’s sooo much effort uggghhh… and what if they suck??
Enter the easiest thing evar! Online dating!
Ya know, Tinder, OkCupid, E-Harmony, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, Craigslist… there’s really a shit ton, including Austin’s newest bone app, Hinge.
Sure it’s easy, but there’s some fucking pitfalls and here they are.
First of all, people aren’t as hot as they appear to be. That’s been a thing since the MySpace angle was outted. That’s not your problem, but it is your problem if you don’t figure out how hot they are before you fucking meet. So, friend them on Facebook. Have them send you some fucking selfies, just do your homework or yer first date is going to be a FUCKING WASTE of your genital’s time.
Let’s talk about Tinder specifically. Tinder is a hook up site. That’s what most people use it for. Not to say that there aren’t weirdos not just looking to hook up. But ya gotta weed mother fuckers out. It’s your job to figure out if it’ll be a bone-and-run or a potential relationship where you go to barbecues together and shit like that.
I prefer OkCupid. You get a little more insight to their personality and there’s usually more pix.
That bein’ said, you still gotta do some work or it’ll be a bust. You can’t just meet up with people—ScRuBz. mUrDeReRz, cRaZiEz, UgLyS, WeIrDoss~~you listenin’??
Maybe you need some specific examples? Lets recap my last two dates.
OkCupid.
Major babe. Chef (not a scrub), facial hair (insta’ boner!), no kids, profile was charismatic. Exchanged 5-6 messages back and forth via OKC. Everything looked super good. BUT, there was a yellow flag - he describe himself as intense. Soo instead of proceeding with caution, I says, oh well, whatever. Second yellow flag drops. We’re about to meet up and I’m running late, of course. I call him to give him a heads up and he like won’t let me talk. SPOILER is, I shoulda ended it there. We meet at Yellow Jacket, cause duh. And I can’t get a word in—THE WHOLE FUCKIN’ TIME. It’s just him talking over me.
Ugh. so yah, he was intense, but worse, he wasn’t that cute in person either. BLOOPS!
Tinder.
Again, cute guy. Foreign (probs has cool accent), moved here for a legit ass adult job. Was into Slayer and Willie Nelson. SCHWIIING. Exchanged 1-2 messages via Tinder. We’re texting and he asks what my plans are and where I’ll be…and I. tell. him. MISTAKE! This motherfucker invites himself to my plans!!!! So I am in an awkward place. I’ve already told friends I’d meet them at that exact place and now he knows where I’ll be and has excitedly texted me, “Sweet, see ya there! Can’t wait!” UGH. So instead of figuring out some suave ass shit to help me avoid that scenario I say, “k.” (!#!$!!$^$%$&#^@$!)
I get to Justine’s. My friends and I are watching the show and I get the text, “I’m stage right, you here?” My stomach drops and I beg jesuz for him to be hot.
I’m super blind, so I have all 5 friends look stage right for me. Immediate laughter. Not a good sign. Still laughing, they begin shaking their heads. Confirming the nightmare I’ve created. I, being a giant asshole, decide not to reply to his text and convince myself that I can totes just avoid him. WTF is wrong with me? There I am standing at the bar getting drunk, looking invisible, when I see him across the room, walking toward me. I turn around because remember, I’m invisible. Boom. Tap on the shoulder. Without blinking I go into the fakest,“OMG! Hey, there you are! What up?!” and weirdly hug him (WHY???) My friends are standing behind him are turning red from holding in their laughter. The night goes on with him following me, chatting me up, introducing me to his friends, trying to make future date plans and just in general being foreign, and not understanding the “no go” signals I am trying to send. While, my friends, make it the most awkwardest thing possible solely for their entertainment. I hang out with assholes.
You see? I was lazy—should have corresponded more, didn’t listen to my gut feelings, and didn’t do any investigating (more pictures, talk on the phone, maybe even skype).
Don’t make my mistakes! You should feel excited about meeting this person! You should know what you’re in store for.
But what I really want to say is, FUCK DATING.
You’re young! Go spend your time learning and doing shit. See all the bands you can live, spend time doing things other people can’t ever take away from you. Learn skills, hobbies, your friend’s favorite fucking foods and colors. Enjoy your free time before you have a long-term partner to share your time with, or worse, fucking babies, mortgages, and shit like that.
Instead of wishing you knew how to do stuff, or wishing you could travel, get a new job, go to school, join a band, whatever it is…GET OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET AND GO BE IT. Then, when you’re out there lovin’ the life you’ve created, some major babe will float right on by!
Members of Holy Wave: (From Top Center, Clockwise: Julian Ruiz, Joey Cook, Ryan Fuson, Dustin Zozaya, & Kyle Hager)
Photos: Sarah Lim; Words: Deborah White
Their show energy builds a slow rage; At one of their recent tour kickoffs I watched as girls around me sang, danced, and jumped up and down to all the words - And I was just as mesmerized as they were. Holy Wave's tunes are both simple and intelligent. Organ and guitars dancing around the steady beat, the bass being the backbone. They're music is beautiful, like wine stained noodles, stretching to the sun and flowing in the wind. So… we asked them about touring, girls, puking and just why are they so dreamy?
OK, Disclaimer: first things first. I was not always a fan of Holy Wave. Looking at the "me of four years ago," who only wanted to "rage to punk bands," I wasn't ready for the psych thing. When I took a bong rip and a step back, I re-listened to them, and finally realized they had something special going on.
Deborah - So how old where you guys when you met one another?
Kyle – Me and Ryan where like 14 or 15 when we met.
Joey – Yeah and me and Andy were like 15 i think.
Julian – Joe was like 16. We were every age? Is that what you guys are telling me...
D – haha, So who got laid first?
Kyle– Uh dustin? I don’t know…
D – Have any of you ever been laid?
Julian – I’ve been trying really hard.
Ryan– I think Joey probably got laid first
D - What about when you guys were on tour?
Ryan – We made a few ladies puke before.
D – Do you have an interesting puke stories? Tell us about those.
Joey - A whole lot of em! So we were in Italy. We played this show, and we were the first American band to ever play at this place; They gave us all this wine.
It was hot wine. And delicious. I drank so much of it. I drank all that wine ate a bunch of pasta, and did drugs. They gave us this shot... Then, I went outside and I threw up everywhere right next to our van. The next morning I went out there and was like "oh my god, there’s all these beautiful flowers." I got closer it was all the noodles soaked in wine.
D– Oh wow, that’s beautiful. Is that the sort of stuff that inspires you guys to make music?
Kyle – I mean, that’s the kinda stuff that helps you keep making music.
D – What’s the weirdest city you went to or the weirdest show you played?
Ryan- We had a show in Philadelphia… We set up all our equipment under their deck. There’s 10 to 15 high schoolers there and the moment we started strumming they all disappeared. Even the guys that brought us there were on top of the deck. We would finish the song and you’d hear two guys: “Hey c’mon applause for these guys” … and the distant sounds of clapping.
Dustin – The payout [of that show] was the best.
D– What’d they pay you?
Everyone- $5!
D- What about when you went to Europe? Are you better received in Europe than here?
Dustin - We’re generally well received here, but we just generally had more people at our shows there.
D – What was your favorite city in Europe?
Julian – The best show was Berlin. Or Amsterdam.
Kyle – Pamplona’s my favorite city.
D- What happened in Amsterdam?
Julian- We played with White Fang and then we got higher than we’ve ever been.
D – Did you go to one of the cafes?
Julian – Yeah everyone bought a gram and a joint. I felt bad because I didn’t want to talk to anyone. It got to be annoying. Too high. We bought our tour manager a blow-job in Amsterdam.
D – How much does a blow-job cost?
Ryan – Like $70 bucks.
Julian– We secretly organized that were going to buy our friend a blow-job, so we just walked around the Red Light District . Then we knocked on the window, talked to the girl for a sec, then pushed him in there.
Ryan- Then he tried haggling with the prostitute.
D – Did it work?
Ryan – Nah, she said, “not this time.” She was apparently the most beautiful hooker Amsterdam had to offer.
D – So you guys are recording your… third album?
Julian – We’re supposed to put out a split with Cosmonauts.
Ryan- That's happening. But things have pushed it back, so we might just put something else out. We’re definitely going to put something out soon. We just don’t know when it’s going to be.
D – I gotta ask, why are you guys so dreamy?
(laughter)
Kyle- Can I get a definition?
D- Don’t shy away from the answer.
Julian- Uh, shit that’s a loaded question. Next question.
D – So you guys don’t like being objectified, do you? I asked why you were so dreamy and you got completely silent.
Julian- We’re all about men’s rights.
D – What’s your favorite song to play live?
Julian- “Pass the Dutchie.” Or some Moby.
Kyle– What about “Right Down the Line?”
D – Gerry Rafferty? We should put it on! Can we?
We then paused for a few moments to sing along to “Right Down the Line” by Gerry Rafferty.
Ryan - I bet Gerry cried when he played this song
Julian – His eyes were definitely closed.
D - What’s your favorite Hangover Breakfast?
Ryan- We had the nastiest Hangover Breakfast in Portugal. We had this sandwich...
Joey- Whaa? The Francesinha?! It was great! It was the perfect Hangover Breakfast. It just had all of the good nasty things that you love. It was like a brisket, cheese sandwich with like tomato.
Ryan– A Hangover Breakfast has to be nasty, but it was drenched in cheese, like covered, and had a soft-boiled egg; uhh poached? Sunny side up? My buddy’s favorite hangover breakfast is called the 4 C breakfast.. It’s cocaine, cigarette, coffee, & cognac.
Joey – I think I can think of like 3 or 4 more c’s as well.
Ryan – Alright the "Full C" breakfast is officially our favorite.
D- Ok guys, does dick size matter?
Julian - That’s fucking crazy. Yes.
Kyle - I feel kinda weird right now.
Joey - If my dick started to get smaller, yes it would.
D - Have you guys heard of the sex toy the accommodator?
Julian- Ooh. Please tell me.
D- it’s a strap on but you specifically strap it on your chin and your ears.
Joey - Ohh, a chindo.
Ryan – Why would you put that shit on your ears?!
D- To be accommodating. Its called the accommodator! There’s some people that need to be fucked from the chin.
Ryan- They should make a strap on dildo for women that you put inside your vagina and it comes out…
Z - Like a genie?!?
Dustin- I mean they got a dildo for your ear.
Joey- What would be cool is like a unicorn dildo that comes out of your forehead, like full head gear strap.
Kyle - Like a twisted unicorn horn.
Ryan- As soon as she cums its just like pchew! Glitter shoots out!
Joey- Neeeigh neeeigh!
Jullian – It’s gone too far man.
Joey- It’s an interview man.
D- Do you remember the first pornos you saw?
Kyle- It was just like given to me by a family member; It was called like, “Buddha”
Ryan- Nah man! I gave you "Buddha!" That was my first porn!
D- Awww! You guys shared your first porn!
Ryan- I gave Kyle his first porn and then I lost my virginity to my girlfriend. Then we broke up and then Kyle lost his virginity to her.
D- Whoa.
Joey- Mine was “Butt Sisters Do Baltimore.” One time when we were in San Marcos we put a porn on while eating dinner and it was just like “what the hell?”
Dustin- Remember that guy that had a midget porn in Santa elf costume getting blown and he kept saying “duwhakadoo duwhakadoo duwhakadoo?”
Ryan- Have you ever said duwhakadoo when getting blown?
Joey - No but i will now.
D- Interview’s over.
Ryan- Yeah my parents shouldn’t read this or hear about it.
Joey- This is hearsay as far as I’m concerned.
Holy Wave’s tour kick off is at Hotel Vegas August 29th. Come see them and buy them shots.
Check out their tunes: http://holywave.bandcamp.com
