evening star

and I can go anywhere I want anywhere I want just not home and you can aim for my heart, go for blood but you would still miss me in your bones and I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky and when you can't sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

[hannahbelfleur]

heavensreigns​:

THE  DARKLIGHTER SWALLOWED  HIS  GROAN  of  frustration when  she  claimed that  no  one  was  helping  her  .  ❛  i’m  trying  to  help  .  and  i  get  it  ,  i’m  not  your  favorite  person right  now  .  you  hate  me  …  you  have  every  right  to  do  that  .  just  let  me  get  you  out  of here  .  ❜  he  would  not  force  her  to  be  around  him  after  they  arrived  at  the  village ,  he  just  had  to  make  sure  that  she  was  safe  .  his  grip  stayed tight  ,  no  matter  how  hard  she  struggled  ,  but  her  words  finally made  him  loosen it  .  he  froze  at  the  nickname as  well  as  the  realization that  he  was  hurting  her  and  he  took  a  step  back  ,  allowing his  hand  to  fall  back  to  his  side  .  ❛  i’m  sorry  .  ❜  he  whispered  -  words  that  were  rather rare  for  him  .  growing up  on  the  upper  east  side  taught him  that  he  shouldn’t  be  sorry  for  anything  ,  after  all  .  ❛  hannah …  ❜  was  she  serious  right  now  ?  did  she  honestly  believe the  words  that  came  out  of  her  mouth  ?  ❛  i  loved  you  .  i  didn’t leave  because  you  weren’t  good  enough  .  i  left  because  i  had  to  protect  you  .  ❜  and  it  was  obvious that  he  failed ,  but  how  could  he  possibly  know  ?  fuck  ,  he  even  paid  darcy  to  help  him  ease  her  pain  ,  hoping  it  would  help  her  move  on  .  the  male  took  a  deep  breath ,  eyes  on  the  ground as  he  prepared himself  for  the  next  question .  a  part  of  him  didn’t  want  to  ask  ,  didn’t want  to  hear  it  …  but  he  had  no  choice  ,  did  he  ?  ❛  what  happened  ?  ❜

Her eyes instantly caught on the slightly red mark from where his hand had been. In a different life, being marked by Julian had been one of her favorite things. In this one? It took all the strength she had to not let herself cry. He wasn’t worthy of her tears. She refused to let them fall. He’d broken her. Every last piece of Hannah had shattered to glass when he’d left. She still couldn’t understand why. If it was to protect her he’d done a piss poor job of it. “You should have stayed. If you wanted to keep me safe, you should have stayed with me,” she breathed. “So I don’t buy anything that you’re saying. You left me because you wanted to. You left because I wasn’t worth fighting for.” Another flash of a memory that she couldn’t grasp. Her in a hospital bed, Julian by her side. Tears. It was then Hannah realized she was crying. “I died, Julian. I died. What does it matter how? And of course I end up in hell.” If she was scared she wouldn’t show it. Not to him.

[hannahbelfleur]

likestvrlight​:

astra & hannah

— astra was on a quick coffee run, trying to remember where her kids had been before she’d been pulled into the realm. she offered a small smile when someone bumped into her, shaking her head, “ do not worry about it, everyone is having a difficult time right now, ” she said softly. “ i don’t know about a hotel, i think everyone has simply picked a house they like… ” astra shrugged. “ you can stay with me if you want, ” she offered, after a moment. she wasn’t sure anyone would really want to stay with a random stranger, but she knew it was hard to be pulled into the realm without any warning. 

No hotels. Of course not. Everyone seemed to really love this Seelie realm but in Hannah’s opinion, it was lacking some of the absolute necessities. Did they even have running water here? Was she meant to bathe in a river? It was all too much. “I don’t even know the first thing about buying a house! What kind of money do they even accept here?” Most of the words were to herself, her signature way of dealing with a problem. When the stranger offered her a place to stay her eyebrows shot up instantly. “I don’t even know your name and I don’t really have much money on me but if you’d rent me a room... that’d be really great actually,” she admitted. Look at you, Hannah, she thought. Making progress at being trusting. She was already ready for it to backfire. “I’m Hannah, by the way.”

[hannahbelfleur]

mnstrmthr​:

♥♥♥ 《 Shiva && Hannah 》

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Shiva chuckled. Her prison was an endless wilderness so the woods were like a second home to her. At least these woods changed colour from the grey green she was used to. Those that came to her in purgatory would tell her how the world above has evolved in her absence. She had only seen it breifly and through Ysayle’s limited experience in life she has seen some of the things the world had to offer. It was a lot more than what purgatory had to offer. Which was just sheer survival and little luxury. She could understand if people had the choice they would avoid it. ❝ No you don’t if I am being honest, ❞ she confirmed with an amused tone threading her voice. ❝ I’m new here as well but I at least know where that is, ❞ she looked back towards the village and started walking. ❝ Though I have no fucking clue about anything else or what’s going on. I’m Shiva. So tell me a bit about yourself, ❞ she suggested. She love to hear of the lives of others and live vicariously through them. She thought when she escaped she could experience some kind of normalcy but as usual it was not meant to be.

Another new person. Somehow that was exactly what Hannah needed to hear. She wasn’t the only one bumbling around in the woods for no reason. Maybe this woman could help her out. The urge to bounce with joy came and went fleetingly--she was far to dignified to ever do such a thing. The joy, however, remained. “I’ve never been hiking in my life and suddenly I’m thrust into some woods with no trail markers or maps. Not like I could read the map but really, they ought to have guides around telling you where to go,” she all but huffed in one long breath. Hannah fell into step behind Shiva, listening and cataloguing everything the woman said. No way could she be making all of this up. Hannah wasn’t creative enough for that. “Well, my name is Hannah. I’m-” It occurred to her suddenly that she could lie. She could come up with a new identity that fit her newest job description much better. While tempting, she let the thought fade into a wisp of a memory. “I’m a whitelighter, I guess? Brand new. I just started. I died at a party and given the choice between oblivion and a second chance, it’d be dumb to say goodbye, right?” It had been dumb to agree too but that was an entirely different matter. “Tell me about you. How’d you end up in this place?”

[hannahbelfleur]

likestvrlight​:

estela & hannah

— estela’s expression softened as the other girl explained she was new. “ sorry. i’m just… kinda out of it. everything going on is just kinda… stressful. ” she marked her page, shutting the book to focus on the other. “ go ahead. ” she nodded, gesturing to the spot next to her. “ i’m estela. welcome to the seelie realm, ” she added, offering a small smile.

“You’re totally fine. I interrupted you anyway,” Hannah shrugged off. Would she fully apologize for it? Likely not but that was as close as the girl would get. “Well, I don’t know anything that’s going on here so consider me your blank slate. We don’t even have to talk about this place.” She settled into her seat and offered the other a friendly smile. “Estela. Lovely name. And thank you! No one’s welcomed me yet, not really. What are, or were, you reading?”

[hannahbelfleur]

heavensreigns​:

THIS  WAS  NOT  ABOUT  AUTHORITY  ,  it  was  about  her  safety  -  and  to  be  frank  ,  julian  did  not  care  how  much  she  seemed to  hate  him  .  he  would  not  just  abandon  her  so  close  to  the  wander  woods  ,  especially after  nightfall  .  his  features stayed  hard  when  her  fist  collided  with  his  shoulder and  his  grip  only  tightened  on  her  arm  .  ❛  you  don’t  know  much  about  this  realm  do  you  ?  no  one  would  rush  to  your  help  ,  hannah .  ❜  it  was  much  the  opposite  .  the  darklighter  growled in  frustration  -  why  did  she  have  to  be  so  god  damn  stubborn  ?  ❛  so  you  would  rather  get  yourself  killed  .  that’s  what  you’re  saying .  do  you  realize  that  ?  come  on  .  you’re  smarter than  that  .  ❜  her  next  words  only  made  him  glare  at  her  and  for  a  moment  he  was  tempted to  let  her  go  .  why  the  fuck  should he  put  up  with  this  ?  ❛  you  know  damn  well  that  it  was  never  about  that  .  ❜  julian did  not  leave  because  he  thought  of  her  as  the  problem .  it  was  him  .

The feeling of his skin wrapped around her arm was enough to trigger a memory. It felt like lifetimes had passed since he’d last touched her. Hannah refused to dwell on it and the sheer pain of how tightly he squeezed had tears welling in her eyes. Or at least, she told herself that was where the tears came from. “How could I know anything about it? I just fucking got here. No one’s helping me. I’ve been here for days and haven’t seen another person.” The words were tumbling out of her mouth like she couldn’t even pause to take a breath. She tried desperately to wiggle out of his grasp but it was futile. “Jules,” she regretted the nickname instantly, “you’re hurting me.” When her eyes met his she did her very best to keep the tears that had pooled in her eyes from falling. Death wouldn’t be so bad. It certainly wouldn’t hurt as much as standing here with him. “You made the decision to leave me. You didn’t even let me have a say. You just decided I wasn’t good enough for you and you abandoned me. I thought that you loved me. Was that all a lie too?” With her lower lip quivering, a tear slipped down her cheek. “You weren’t there when I died. I kept calling out for you and you weren’t there.”

[hannahbelfleur]

closed starter : @likestvrlight​ for astra

To say she wasn’t adjusting well would be the understatement of the century. Everything about her new life, if Hannah could even call it that, seemed to have completely flipped her world upside down. What she’d known no longer existed. Part of her felt like she didn’t either. She was simply trapped, caught in a strange limbo where everything felt just slightly off. There wasn’t anything she could even particularly pinpoint about the atmosphere or the people she passed--if they were even people. Was she a person? Her head was too clouded with all of this information and clearly she’d yet to break the surface. She’d fallen into an unusual habit of keeping her head down when she walked, something that would have been completely unheard of in the past. This world had her on edge. At least she had the decency to feel embarrassed when she bumped into someone. “Sorry, just passing through.” She hesitated. “Is there a hotel or something nearby?”

[hannahbelfleur]

closed starter : @spellcrossed​

She’d heard whispers. Maybe she was imagining them but there was a certain pull leading Hannah through the Seelie realm. Her feet had learned where to go before she could think it through. Perhaps that was a benefit of actually finding her way through the woods and into the thick of it where others were gathered. There was a sense of chaos even in the quiet. Something was happening, something she wasn’t yet privy to. And that was likely for the best really. She’d not been here long enough to start meddling in the affairs of complete and total strangers. It was more important to get her bearings first. Even so, something in the woman she saw in front of her called out to her. “Hey! Excuse me?" she asked the woman. “I think I got a little turned around again. I’m looking for... I don’t know, actually,” she admitted as the realization struck. 

[hannahbelfleur]

heavensreigns​:

THE  DARKLIGHTER TIGHTENED  HIS  OWN  JAW  ,  hazel  eyes  narrowing when  he  heard  the  tone  in  her  voice  .  there  was  such  anger  ,  but  it  was  not  enough to  hide  her  pain  and  the  mere  sound  of  it  made  him  ball  his  hands  into  fists  .  what  the  fuck  was  she  doing  here  ?  this  was  not  the  right  place  for  a  mundane  …  but  she  wasn’t  human  anymore ,  was  she  ?  every  fiber  of  his  being  told  him  that  he  should  hunt  her  and  that  only  confused  him  more  .  ❛  hannah  ,  stop  .  ❜  his  voice  was  firm  ,  sounding just  as  angry  when  she  walked  past  him  -  not  without that  elbow  check  .  it  was  no  surprise  that  she  kept  on  walking and  julian  nearly growled  in  frustration ,  catching  up  with  her  to  spin  her  back  around  .  ❛  you  don’t  know  this  realm  .  i  understand that  you’re  not  happy  to  see  me  ,  but  you  are  going  to  get  yourself  killed  .  ❜  and  for  what  ?  her  god  damn  pride  ?

How dare he? Did he really think he had the authority to tell her what to do? If she already had the drink she was longing for in her hand, Hannah would have tossed it in his stupid face. The absolute nerve. The audacity! She kept walking, fully intent on completely ignoring him. She’d rather never find her way out of these woods than have a conversation with Julian. Not after what he’d put her through. He’d left. Not only that--he’d completely disappeared. Her feet nearly went out from under her when he suddenly spun her around and she swung out wildly with her fist, connecting against his should with a solid thump. “If you don’t get your big, stupid hands off of me in the next two seconds, Julian, I swear I will scream so loud I’ll have every creature in this godforsaken place running this way. Unhand me,” she seethed through her teeth. “I have been walking for days. I have ruined my new boots. And if you think for one minute that I want or need your help I will--” Her words cut off as the semblance of a memory floated just outside her grasp. The woods must still be playing tricks on her. “What do you care anyway? Last I checked I wasn’t your problem anymore.”

[hannahbelfleur]

likestvrlight​:

open starter for ;; anyone @dihstarters​

— estela looked up from her book — she was avoiding people, at this point, needing time to herself, now. but someone had stopped in front of her, whether actually for her or not, she still found herself distracted by their presence. she hadn’t gotten as far as she normally would have by this hour anyways. “ did you need something ? ” the shadowhunter asked quietly, head tilting as she spoke.

It hadn’t even occurred to Hannah that she’d stopped walking. Really there was so much to take in and not nearly enough time to do it. A witty retort died on the girl’s lips and she replaced it with a more easygoing smile. “Actually, I’m new here. Just getting my bearings. I didn’t mean to interrupt. It’s a lot to look at,” she admitted. Deciding there wasn’t much better to do, she took a seat next to the woman. “I’m Hannah. Do you mind? My feet are killing me.” No sense asking, really. She wasn’t taking no for an answer.

[hannahbelfleur]

heavensreigns​:

THERE  WERE  COUNTLESS  MEMORIES  that  julian would  love  to  forget  about  his  old  life  .  why  would  he  need  to  remember the  fact  that  his  own  family  viewed him  as  some  sort  of  a  status  symbol  ,  instead  of  a  son  ?  the  pain  that  he  felt  each  time  his  parents fired  a  nanny  that  he  had  grown  attached  to  ,  the  betrayal  that  pierced  through his  heart  when  his  mother sold  his  soul  ,  or  the  pain  in  his  girlfriend’s  eyes  when  he  told  her  that  things were  over  between them  ?  remembering those  things  hurt  ,  but  a  part  of  him  felt  like  he  deserved  the  pain  …  unlike  hannah  .  her  actions were  irresponsible  ,  her  choices the  wrong  ones  and  yet  ,  when  he  encountered darcy  and  found  out  about  her  abilities ,  he  simply knew  he  had  to  try  to  help  her  move  on  .  it  was  not  an  easy  decision  to  wipe  her  most  recent memories  of  their  relationship  ,  those  that  were  bound  to  hurt  the  most  ,  but  at  the  end  of  the  day  the  darklighter felt  like  he  owed  her  that  much  .  knowing  just  how  talented the  witch  was  ,  he  was  almost certain  that  their  spell  worked and  it  allowed him  to  rest  easier  at  night  ,  even  though it  did  very  little  to  ease  his  own  conscience  .  and  maybe  he  did  not  deserve that  either  .  julian  knew  that  he  had  to  take  responsibility  for  the  things  that  he  had  done  -  before  and  after  he  lost  his  humanity  -  and  somehow …  well  ,  somehow  he  managed  to  get  through the  day  . today  was  no  exception  .  his  mood  was  not  particularly  perfect ,  but  night  was  falling over  the  seelie realm  and  he  decided  to  go  back  home  -  just  for  his  senses to  go  straight  into  overdrive  .  the  supernatural  ones  alerted  him  to  the  presence  of  a  whitelighter  and  he  instinctively  let  his  bow  appear  ,  but  his  human  senses made  him  realize something  else  .  something  that  should not  be  possible  .  the  voice  that  rang  out  to  him  ,  asking  him  where  she  could  possibly get  a  drink  around  here  was  painfully  familiar  .  he  spun  around to  face  her  and  his  eyes  narrowed in  confusion  .  no  .  this  wasn’t  possible  .  something  or  someone  must  have  spiked his  drink  ,  that  was  the  only  explanation  ,  wasn’t  it  ?  still  ,  he  stepped  closer to  her  ,  hazel  eyes  piercing  into  her  own  .  ❛  hannah  ?  ❜  no  .  no  ,  no  ,  no  ,  no  .  this  could  not  be  her  .  not  here  .  not  like  this  .

Something akin to realization lit in Hannah’s eyes. Once she realized who she was faced with the light dimmed almost immediately into pure disdain. Julian. Julian!? Of all the people to see after wandering for ages it had to be her ex? Hadn’t she made her peace? What part of this deal she’d accepted had mentioned seeing him again? That wasn’t fucking fair. Her jaw set instantly. If looking at him hurt then she was not about to show it. He didn’t deserve to see that he still affected her like that. “Oh, my mistake. I thought I saw a gentleman who’d actually assist me out of this wretched forest.” And there it was. She couldn’t contain the anger, the pain. “Clearly I was mistaken.” She shoulder checked him as she walked by, or as close as she could despite the height difference, determined to find her way out on her own. She’d spend eternity wandering these woods before asking him for help. If it took her a year to find her way then so be it. She was dead anyway. What did time even mean to her anymore? She had nowhere to be. 

[hannahbelfleur]

mnstrmthr​:

♥♥♥ 《 Shiva && Hannah 》

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This was very different from purgatory but Shiva had not decided whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. There were a few of her kind here. She can sense vampires, werewolves, some dragons and a couple of Phoenixes. Not a huge presence in comparison to there either which made her feel a little lonely. However she was now surrounded by her celestial siblings whom she had not seen in way too long. For now it was a trade off she is willing to accept. Not like she had a choice anyway. Though by bringing her here she wondered what their end goal was or was this just chaos for the sake of it? Some were like that and honestly they were a fucking pain to deal with. For now she was just going to settle in and see where this takes her. As long as her children are safe she would not immediately act. At least she could interact with those that were alive rather than when they have passed into Purgatory.

Shiva had gone exploring the cool air causing her to bundle up more. Wondering in the woods may not be the smart idea but she had her senses to guide her out. The crunch of leaves under foot was pleasant to hear. The vibrant orange colours catching her eyes. She decided to take a short break and lean on a tree. There was another nearby. Whitelighter from her senses. They were coming closer to her so she stayed. As they called out to her she turned round to face them. Well she had her priorities right and it made her chuckle. ❝ You have your priorities right. There is a bar here somewhere, should be near the village I can get to there at least. Why don’t we find it together. I could use a fucking drink, ❞ she replied to the other. ❝ Did you just get here? ❞ she asked.

Just seeing another person after what felt like an eternity of wandering in these woods was a relief to Hannah. She’d felt like she was going crazy, or rather, maybe she was in the middle of a mental break. Maybe none of this was real and it was her brain’s reaction to her death. She’d heard that theory somewhere, she thought. Something about the body firing synapses off to protect itself from death. She should have paid more attention in school. Not that it fucking mattered now. She’d lived her life and she’d loved most of it. Being more knowledgeable about brain chemistry probably wouldn’t have saved her from this weird, new half-life she felt she was trapped in. At least this woman seemed fun. “I’ve been walking for days,” Hannah complained, her voice ringing out a little louder than she’d expected it to. “I was starting to think I was completely alone. And I am not nature girl. Do I look dressed for hiking?” She paused, her face twisting a little in what could be seen as regret. “Sorry, I mean yes. I would love to go there together.”

[hannahbelfleur]

open starter :  @dihstarters

Hannah wasn’t so sure what she was doing here. After her death, memories had been flooding back to her, things she couldn’t even imagine possibly forgetting. Knowing now that she was a Whitelighter, the idea of having her memories tampered with seemed like a very real possibility. In fact, anything could be possible now. Life as she’d known it had been completely turned upside down. One minute, the girl had been at a club. One she’d frequented almost nightly for months at a time. The very next, the cocktail she’d consumed mixed with the drugs in her system had her dropping to the cold, stone floor. The woman didn’t remember much. A voice speaking to her as she was carried to an ambulance. The blue and red lights that flashed incessantly, somehow reminding her of Christmas decorations. The IV started in her arm, the chest compressions. All those things were hazy but real memories. And that was the last thing she remembered from her old life. 

Given a choice, of course, Hannah had picked to live. She hadn’t even listened to the stipulations before agreeing. And now her life, if she could call it that, was completely different. Her old life had died with her. Now she had a new purpose. One that she was quite unsure she could fulfill. With the chaos in the world around her something had pulled her into the Seelie realm and now it was up to her to navigate her way through it. She felt as if she’d been wandering lost in the woods for days. Hannah couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen another soul. Was this her version of hell? Had she been tricked? It’d be fair, she supposed. She paused when she saw someone standing a few feet away and approached cautiously. “Excuse me. Do you know where a girl can get a drink around here?”

[hannahbelfleur]

( AYCA AYSIN TURAN, 28, SHE/HER) We opened the gates to the seelie court for HANNAH BELFLEUR and we are curious to see how the WHITELIGHTER, that is often described as the evening star, will contribute to the new era ━ Will they stand with the Clave, or against them ; or are they just here to search for Julian Rhodes, their ex boyfriend? We will find our answers in due time and until then, we hope that they can keep their little secret from getting exposed. It could be dangerous if everyone knew what we know… (Autumn, She/Her, 25, CST)

hi everyone my name is autumn and i will be playing miss hannah belfleur!

tw: drugs, alcohol, miscarriage, death

hannah was a trust fund baby (you can trust me) who spent the majority of her human life partying it up and blowing through her money on drugs and alcohol and hedonism.

she was madly in love with julian and was even pregnant with his child but she had a miscarriage. when he died he broke up with her and left and she continued on with her partying ways. she became more reckless than before and eventually found herself in a bad situation and overdosed and died.

somehow she was given a choice between death and becoming a whitelighter and not fully understanding what she was signing up for, she decided to take the offer. now she is a guardian angel to others who were like her before and she’s having a hard time adjusting to living a good life with morals as opposed to doing whatever she wanted.

she’s come in search of julian because she is regaining memories of their life and wants to confront him for leaving her.

personality traits:

before death:

negative: irresponsible, extravagant, vain, materialistic, destructive, shameless

positive: adventurous, affectionate, independent, daring, self-confident, loyal

after death some of her negative traits are shifting as she is a whitelighter now and she is learning to be more selfless and caring but it’s taking a while to adjust. since she’s brand new to this life she might need someone to help guide her.

she’s warmed up a lot and mellowed since death but she holds a lot of resentment that eats up at her and she feels it’s her mission to confront her past in order to move on and fulfill her destiny.

hmu if you wanna plot!! dms or discord!!

[gvzel]

AYÇA AYŞİN TURAN — via instagram

[gvzel]

[ran94]

[miraydanerarchived]