He's simple. His mind isn't, it's full of dark crevices and instabilities like the rest of us, but his interests are. He drinks too much caffeine, smokes too many cigarettes, plays too many video games. His appetite is about as diverse as a convenience store freezer. His anxiety keeps him up at night, keeps him from checking his phone during the day. His spirit is quiet, thoughtful, and easily stepped on. He's too scared to voice what he wants out of life, because his hopes have been shattered too many times. Instead, his hopes sit in the back of his mind, waiting for the right moment, convincing him it's where his full potential lies. But so much of his potential is right in front of my eyes, in the way he treats strangers, treats his brothers, treats his mother. The way his humor never sits idle, and the music in his hands never stops moving. He puts others first and my God, I've never felt more accepted than when I'm held in his arms. When I'm with him it feels as if we are the only two in the world, and sometimes, I think it's because we really are. I'm in a different world, an alternate universe, where nothing can hurt us but each other, and we could, believe me, we're both so raw, so defenseless, in those moments. But we don't, and instead, with my guard down, I've never felt more content with one person beside me. The skeletons in his closet are complex, and some still threaten to resurrect themselves back to life, to ruin all the progress he's made. I can only guess about some; he doesn't like to talk about them. He never talks about himself much, but the rare moments you catch him talking passionately before he realizes you're watching, his intellect shines. He has hidden talents but is transparent about what makes him happy. His stature is short, but when he stands up straight, he commands more attention than a skyscraper. His laughter is auditory sunshine. His eyes could end wars. He looks good in every color. And he doesn't pressure me. And no, I don't know where this is going. I don't know if it will all end in flames. I don't know how it will work out, and I'm not as confident as I wish I was that it will last. What I know is that I don't deserve his kindness, his flexibility, or his encouragement, yet he lays himself bare every time we're together. He knows I could get up and leave him at any moment and accepts it, with my contentedness at any cost. I don't know why he does this, but I know I owe him more than I give him. I know that we have this connection that doesn't add up, that I can't even explain, but it's too meaningful to overlook and I can't let go of it, not now, not soon. He needs me, and I need him, and for once I don't feel weak saying that. Maybe this is a mistake, and maybe I'm wasting both our time, but when we're together neither of us seem to mind.
