uptight @happiest-disorder - Tumblr Blog

whitepeopletwitter

stonebutchcowboy

Listen pal, the subtitles stay ON.

homefixin2shavemister

This post is going to take a turn.

bumbleshark

I said this to a guy one time and he was immediately turned away

tarynel

😭😭

homefixin2shavemister

👀👀👀👀 at the comments.I was right 😬

bulbiedorf

How Obama joked: here is a video of my birth *shows clip from Lion King*

How Trump jokes: haha my vice president wants to kill all the gay people

abcoconut

Hey future historians, please note that although tumblr is a fountain of hyberbolic sarcasm, there is exactly 0% sarcasm or hyperbole in this post.

marshals-to-dictators

ilovecats4ever

daco-broman

I’m having a fuckin aneurysm

shitpost-senpai

Well ya see here, you got the starbucks, they do the coffee and the cookies in the morning and they got that internet thing in the store and i gotta tell ya, imeanijushimeanijushgottathemBAZONKERSondatderescreenAH HEH HEH HEHso anywyas, the starbucks people are gonna Ban….. the internet. Not the internet but the… thethethethethetheshechPORNsites.*scoff*. So you got this guy at the bottom, Oh excuse me, this LADY at the bottom, and she says “Damn, no more fap and frap fridays”. Now folks, i ain’t gotta tell yas what a fap is, i mean heh heh, scumbannawannajigglebungaWE ALL DO IT HEH HEHEH. So a frap is a type of drink at starbucks, grumbaannasugamushugnaerrrr It’s like a milkshake but really runny. So what she does is take fap, because of the internet porn, and fap because of the tallywackin some guys are doin, and BOOM! there’s the punchline.

sexhaver

green-day-photoshoots

23/03/94, les foufounes electriques, montreal, quebec, canada

eggsackley

imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018

if you ever want to love an idiot you know where to find me

whitepeopletwitter

shedidntevenswear

listen i love greta thunberg i really do like what an icon BUT i think it’s absolutely ridiculous that she, a literal child, is being made to be the face of stopping climate change. and she obviously thinks its ridiculous too. i’ve seen so many adults in power talking about how inspirational she is and everything, and then pretty much just stop there. it is EMBARRASSING that the 4.5 billion people over the age of 30 on earth right now are looking to one teenager to fix the problems they created. it’s not inspirational, it’s pathetic. Greta has to be so extremely aggravated with the amount of attention and lack of actual action from policymakers, because I sure am.