😏

I made a faith-based catalog not designed for your pleasure but for the best… judge me or not, I’m always going to be honest! Happiness is outside when you’ve made it good inside

[happilestangi]

My payment is progression

As long as I’m inspiring generations

To be better then they ever thought they could be

I’ll stay true to my passion

(My catharsis)

Which is healing vibrations; music

Honest Communication

With my singing/songwriting

and transparent negotiations

With whoever may be listening

And co-creating

Deeply

If I can, and I can

I create doorways into higher realms

Ways out of suppression

Like my mom did, it was her outlet

To take the high road,

instead of succumb To a broken society and system

She wasn’t mad, she was making a scene

Making her own sense in the insanity, seeming crazy

But it was courageous

And sending a message, that no one is perfect

And Even if you lose yourself, you will be found again,

by strangers if it is meant to be

Through persistence in being the best you can be

For everyone and everything

How else will we enjoy such beauty that reigns On this planet?

The glory of God, the majesty of his creation

It’s endless possibilities and generosity

It’s amazing how much we can do

With what we were given

[happilestangi]

This is the song that won a spot

[happilestangi]

[happilestangi]

Happy with everything I got

Including my intelligence,

pattern of my abstract lifestyle

My skills and talents

The space and things I kept and took care of

The animals that grace my presence

And the lovely giving people I’m so blessed to be friends with

I don’t need or want to conform

To random other people’s ideals

The ones Who I’m not trusting

I love being me, and I’m going to show it

As much as I feel like doing

Whether people accept it, like it or not

Please intrude on me, take my energy without asking

even when you’re not welcome

but just know I’m not playing by anybody’s rules

Only the ones God laid before me

So don’t be surprised when you’re feeling defeated

Because you came with bad intentions

There’s a higher power vested in me

And its trilling with a vengeance

Play with me and you might get burned

Probably better just to keep your distance

If you got nothing good in store for me

[happilestangi]

I feel like I’m getting so jaded

Everybody wants me when I’m not free

I get calls and messages when I’m working

Only

It seems

People close to me presently see me as a means to an end, but not an end

They take their sweet time to help me with anything

Even when they owe me

and if it’s ever quick it ends up worse then before

It’s a weird world I live in,

and I don’t feel like it’s mine

But a projection, of bad karma

Or something

that I unfortunately got mixed in

Cuz some people were ignorant when I needed them

Which is most people that I ever trusted

I want to break free of them,

For Goodness sake,

I want to forgive them and move on,

forget that they ever existed,

I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like I’m in Such a strange world,

where everything is either about race,

or racing to a finish line

Like endlessly searching for the end

Of a pretty rainbow

But that is made of pride and ego

I see grown people acting like kids,

Needing attention for all their accomplishments

But not for a genuine connection between us

That benefits the both of us

I don’t want to be “negative”

But this is my current reality that I live in

And as much as I’d like to pretend that it’s different

It just isn’t

Maybe though, I can make it different

But realizing what it really is

I think is the first step

I just need prayers from my lovely

Brothers and sisters,

Or a real connection with them

Where we are both happy, and productive

[happilestangi]

[happilestangi]

It’s because he’s a mystery

And There’s no correct explanation as to my intrigue

Maybe he’s hot, or maybe he’s missing in action

Neither of which is anything special or uncommon

Especially

When I’m about to break out as a real music artist

My songs touching every genre

In the final production

Writing songs since I was 10 and only getting better since then

And that was 23 years ago

I’m a professional at my craft, and now all I need to do is get the right people

Or person to back me up

I can even draw psychedelic abstract art

That opens the third eye mental processes

Helping one focus on the outside of the boxes

He could’ve been my bandmate or

Built my house or

Made babies one day or

Been my best friend

But I don’t know anything

There’s no confirmation that he wants the same things, if anything

For all I know I’m his side piece,

and a sitting duck waiting to fall…

he leaves me wondering

And that’s precisely the reasoning

Behind my mostly unfortunate longing

For something that’s probably toxic

In every way

I have to give up, I want to cry about it

But nothing is happening

How does someone have this much control over me?

Where did my feelings go?

I’m wondering if I even have emotions anymore

I can’t believe I could love one person and then somehow love this new person more

I have much better things to do

Better people to spend my time on

Than just thinking

and waiting and longing

For something that may never come to fruition

I have to move on,

Eventually I will

Yet this impatience is something else

I fuckin hate myself

I finally want to give someone everything

Again, the last guy I wanted to do that for

Left me wandering for 8 years

And had no remorse

Ignoring all my messages yet seeing them

And then told me in person after 8 years

Choosing this foreign lady with a last name

That has Semen in it

It’s just a joke, isn’t it?

The devil sends me people that steal my heart

And then run with it, so that I have no direction

And am just wishing I was with that person

Is that not colossal waste of my precious time?

Do I not deserve my own longing?

[happilestangi]

I am free

Freer then I’ve ever been

And it’s so exciting

Cuz I just keep winning,

I feel like a warrior, paving a new path for those who are open to listening

And adhering

Easily

freeing those around me

It’s such an amazing feeling,

being a light piercing such present darkness

And I’ve been working for freedom tirelessly

I had to take some time in false imprisonment to plan my escape in the real world, real prison

Everything is vibration and frequency

So I take care to emit a cutting one

Intending on Breaking soul chains to a broken system

That just keeps us aging and dying, instead of rising above and evolving

I didn’t give in to a manmade package of false teachings

or trade my heart for a fake destiny

full of riches, luxury but not genuine happiness aka

The essence of goodness, the reason we exist

The end-goal of sinlessness

I refused all the soul-catchers who came for me

I am astute and it’s God-willing

Unstoppable because of a power greater than me,

Continues to hold me steady as I remain stealthy, composed, undercover

as I fight in this invisible war

One day we will all see who and what we’re really living for

And by then it’ll be too late,

So the moral of the story is, know what you stand for, or fall

Be on the lookout for those who have fallen

And if they refuse to be helped, then move on

Not everybody will be able to shake pride

Or the Sins that anchor them to this planet

Eventually destroying it

Love what you have and can give, own it by letting it go

Cuz Free equals free

[happilestangi]

[happilestangi]

[happilestangi]

[happilestangi]

I like to test them, exorcize if I can

Make the colors more apparent

Coming out of the past and into a Good present

All that’s bubbling to the surface, festering behind the scenes, waiting

I want to burst out and be free

Live and let live, let go of what they can’t give

So the vessel can retain its true positioning and Soul purpose

Regardless of permanent injuries from grave mistakes, maybe even paid for, for some reason

We all deserve to be stress-free, constantly happy, surrounded by abundant nature that we keep stoking,

like our healing spiritual fire

Yes we are made from materials, but we are spiritual beings with endless possibilities

And when we see the threat to our freedom, we can take care of it by uniting

Not with accusations but activity

Connecting in genuine ways

Creating better solutions to problems, and keeping them inside the family

Then planting the seeds, carefully, in fertile minds

from the fruit of our success and knowledge

We don’t need to be world-famous to make a difference

We don’t need to have everybody on our side

It just takes what you can get, right now

Without cheating

And the rest is History

[happilestangi]

[ultrakillblast]

ED WOOD (1994)

[happilestangi]

Story of my relationships

[happilestangi]

By me age 31

[happilestangi]