[waifgirlininternet]

[happyunicorwn]

How do I speak without really saying anything at all?

[happyunicorwn]

I can’t bare to write in my diary, the words will haunt me there,

Is this all that will be left of me? Page after page of lonliness and despair?

Countless relationships that blistered and destructed at the touch of my poisonious fingers.

I’m left alone with the words that could never get past the lump in my throat.

[happyunicorwn]

My scar riddled body is ugly and torments me.

I’m flooded with memories that tear me apart from the inside

[happyunicorwn]

Tell me I’m awful

Ask me how I could do this,

Berate me with terrible words filled with hatred.

My soul tells me everything I need to know, so please confirm it so I can leave peacefully

[small--town-r]

I've written many poems about love.

I've written freely on the thoughts of finding love

and such

yet

when it presents itself

I reject it.

R.A.

[happyunicorwn]

‘Oh my love… feels unready, for my love’

My heart is torn, I love you. I adore you. I’m encaptured.

But I can’t give you every piece of me, I cannot lose myself in the pursuit of us.

You want every part of me, the ugly and the beautiful. But how can I give that to you when I can’t even acknowledge the ugly parts of me

[happyunicorwn]

‘If I hurt my body baby would you love me the same’

[happyunicorwn]

I want to be soft

I want someone to etch into me and mold me into somebody worthy of their love.

But I’m hard and calloused,

These walls of distrust and fear are made to be unbreakable.

I will never be soft.

[happyunicorwn]

I can’t share how I feel because it’s triggering to other people.

Like imagine how I feel?

[happyunicorwn]

The hurt that boiled and marinated is starting feel overwhelming

I fold over from the stinging pain of animosity and the constant pressure to perform

My people, my responsibilities, my comfort, and my greatest heartache.

Even now the words I yearn to express, are forced to quietly subside as I put my people at the forefront.

All I can do is ask for forgiveness once the damage is done.

They’ll know it’s coming. I’ve decided to plan it out and leave them with everything they need.

Please help

[happyunicorwn]

What I’ve done can’t be forgiven

[happyunicorwn]

Things never really do change,

The intense burning and desire that nestled into the cracks in my bones lingers and crackles under the heat of my emotions

These emotions that plague my brain and eat away at me until I’m nothing more than a zombie,

numb to the outside world

Chasing anything that fills my hunger for,

Peace,

Solace in the comfort of my bed awaiting my eternal sleep.

I hope I dream of something sweet,

sweet nothings

[happyunicorwn]

My fate is unavoidable

Yet unattainable

[happyunicorwn]

Longing for a better day to arrive at my door, The sweet serenity of the stinging blade as it glides along my skin tracing the outlines that were meant to be

[happyunicorwn]

What would I say if I had one last breath

Would I curse the world and all who have done me wrong

Or maybe I’ll cry at the injustice that I never belonged

If I had to be honest I don’t know if I’d say a word,

No one can take away all this pain and hurt

and I’m tired of holding in the tears that fuel my soul.

…

[happyunicorwn]

Even while craving intimacy

All I crave is distance

It’s like there’s a sudden urgency, and I think there’s no chance

that we both make it through unscathed, because the truth is I don’t want to be saved