#unicornbwbles

[happyunicorwn]

My scar riddled body is ugly and torments me.

I’m flooded with memories that tear me apart from the inside

[happyunicorwn]

Tell me I’m awful

Ask me how I could do this,

Berate me with terrible words filled with hatred.

My soul tells me everything I need to know, so please confirm it so I can leave peacefully

[happyunicorwn]

‘Oh my love… feels unready, for my love’

My heart is torn, I love you. I adore you. I’m encaptured.

But I can’t give you every piece of me, I cannot lose myself in the pursuit of us.

You want every part of me, the ugly and the beautiful. But how can I give that to you when I can’t even acknowledge the ugly parts of me

[happyunicorwn]

I want to be soft

I want someone to etch into me and mold me into somebody worthy of their love.

But I’m hard and calloused,

These walls of distrust and fear are made to be unbreakable.

I will never be soft.

[happyunicorwn]

My room is a mess and I can’t help but ignore the nagging feeling of my own burdens

It’s unfortunate that I caused this myself and no one can take away the scars that are permanently engraved into my body

[happyunicorwn]

This hurting feeling creeps into ever aspect of my life and affects the relationships I cherish most, I’m never quite sure what to say when I’m asked how I feel. The things I’ve done are just that and the feelings that overwhelm my every step vanish the moment I start to speak. How do you describe something indescribable? How do you wake each morning without the ache of despair and drowning that clutches my every breath. How do I continue to live when every moment feels so empty.

It feels so cowardly to think this way, there are so many people that have tried to show me their way. It’s not that I don’t understand, I do. I really do. But it feels like a false promise because I know in the end what I’m going to do and it’s only a matter of time

Who knows maybe time can heal me and the grass will be greener and the birds will sing. Maybe it’s only a matter of time.

[happyunicorwn]

Sitting in my bed I scramble to find the truth

Among all my books and notes there’s nothing I can truly use

I can’t describe this feeling that washes over me like a wave

It’s something that boils up inside me never leaving, it always stays.

Sitting in my bed I’m not sure what to do

I know what my heart wants but is it the truth?

I feel desolate and empty

There’s really no way to describe this feeling

The scars that come and never leave

Are a reminder of who I am, who I used to be

…

You’re the moon on a dark cold night

I want to follow you but I’m afraid

Because ive never been the type to stay

Once you see what hiding in my abyss

I’m afraid you’ll know that I was never the one you’d miss

…

Sitting in my bed I contemplate

Do I do it now? Is it too late?

[happyunicorwn]

If you asked me to be honest I wouldn’t know what to say

The words bubble up and stick in my throat like a poison

When you know everything there is to know would you still stay?