Seriously, how to survive Ramadan
Right so it’s ramadan and it’s been shit so far. Not only do you have to fast and pretend to climb up the Good Muslim Scale but you’ve got to do it during hot weather and long fucking days.
Don’t be fucking thirsty. At ANY POINT during the day, drink water. Drink it at school/work. Drink it while you’re washing your face. Drink it in the shower. Don’t worry about juice or anything else. Focus. On. Water.
Eat grapes, not samosas. We’re all hungry, so chances are your family will smell any food you may eat during the day. Meats, samosas, chips, chocolate, sweets, anything with seasoning that you can smell, they can smell. Instead, go for generally neutral foods like grapes, bananas, yogurts, plain bread, plain salad, vanilla ice cream. If you DO end up eating samosas, burgers, sandwiches, or any other flavoursome food, make sure to drink water and swish swash that water around your mouth. You need to get rid of food debris. You can’t ‘fast’ with spinach in your teeth.
Don’t overload at iftar and suhr. If you don’t believe that you’re going to be rewarded for depriving yourself of food all day then packing on the food at night, don’t act like it. If you haven’t been lucky enough to drink and eat during the day, make sure you follow this guideline while eating during iftar
1. Start with fibre. Yes, eat those dates. They’re actually good for you. Drink that water, go easy on the milk/labneh/lassi/ayran. After the dates, move onto other fruits and salad. Fucking eat your fibre first.
Don’t have any fruit? Do you have any vegetable soup? Lentil soup? Vegetable curry?
2. After fibre, move onto protein. Go for any meats that aren’t highly processed or fried. If you have meat curry, go for that first rather than reaching for a samosa. If you have roast chicken, go for that first rather than salami/cold meats. Don’t forget good sources of protein are also found in cottage cheese, (whole) eggs, tofu, paneer, and cashew nuts.
3. After protein, eat whatever you like. Just make sure you don’t go to bed full of carbohydrates and oil.
Don’t ruin your sleep with suhur. If you have to wake up, insist on drinking water and eating fruit or, say, cottage cheese. Don’t just pick up iftar leftovers and eat them unless you want indigestion for a month.
Breathe. Try to relax when you can. We tense up a lot during Ramadan because we think those around us are going crazy. They are going crazy. Just don’t go crazy with them.
dededos
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