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fronting: harley (he/they/voi)

[sanriojam]

wonderland snowglobe

[harkeys]

#suic_ide #long post sorry mobile users #blegh

i think things are getting bad again?? idk im. losing time. losing interest. 

i should be happy because im still alive and at home but at the same time my brains like "yeah but at what cost?"

it's like. i wouldnt mind not existing for a bit. i'd come back whenever i'd like, and i'd be better(?) for it. im so drained and tired and it's showing and i can feel my family's disgust with me whenever i show any sign of weakness. they only pretend to like me, and even then?? they do a shitty job at it.

i want help. i dont neccessarily want to DIE-die but. just blipping out of reality for a bit sounds comforting. i want help.

tho i accidentally was like "oh that's ME" at that one asdfmovie muffin song when the muffin says "please i just want to die! :^DDDD" (it was playing bc we were talking about jokey food suicide in cereal commercials) and my parents looked Shocked. and that was just at a joke so,, i want to see their shocked faces again if i ever tell them my true feelings, but i also might get in trouble for being an ungrateful horrible kid. like.. what's wrong with that? wanting to correct the mistake i am?? i legit wasnt supposed to be born in the first place. i was either an accident with medication or a product of Something Horrible. i wasnt planned lol!! why would they even be sad or shocked.

i dunno.

i just. dont know

[mischief-night]

[problematiicsart]

HAPPY BIRTH @harkeys !!! Let the good birthday fortune shine down upon you, you funky little star man

bonus smile:

[harkeys]

IM YELLIN THIS IS SO GOOD ;__; I'LL ALWAYS LOVE HOW YOU DRAW HARLEI,, THANK YOU ; ◇ ; !!!

[harkeys]

i legit just saw someone say my past post about my home situation was fake and i'm lowkey Mortified. just because tumblr glitched out and doesnt show your reblog doesn't mean what happened was fake wtf...

but if anyone's wondering what's going on here at the moment, we havent,, left yet. despite everything we're still here for some reason. it's actually been quiet, and i actually had a good birthday. im still VERY Hesitant on if the other shoe is going to drop Once Again and if we're going to be put into High Alert again bc this home environment is Volatile but please don't go around calling people's serious posts fake without proof. just because i don't post graphically detailed novels about my home life and mental state anymore doesn't mean it's all ~fake~.

not to be rude/petty but the ask box and messaging function here on tumblr are free. i know tumblr's cultivated this environment where it's sacrilege to even talk outside of tags but it wouldn't kill you to check with the op once in a while.

[harkeys]

i'm so sorry to trouble y'all like this but please don't scroll past this if you can help it :^( !!

#abuse #physical abuse

my mom is dead serious about leaving my dad *today*. she wants me and her to pack our things, get a small uhaul, round up our furbabies, and just drive away.

i won't be able to draw anything digitally because i'll probably have to leave my laptop behind bc it's pretty much broken (it can't close without the threat of the screen snapping off), but i'll try to fulfill drawing rqs traditionally over ko-fi if you donate any amount. can't post examples rn bc i'm on mobile, but examples of my art can be found on my dA over at m5w.

please help us out, i legit just woke up to dad straight up going after my mom after hitting her. shit's real bad :^((

my ko-fi is https://ko-fi.com/G2G25S7E !! every bit helps ;;

[harkeys]

3, 4, 5, 8, and 21 for the antagonist meme

#abuse mention #religion

HWEE...

(readmore bc LONG,, heed trigger warnings!!)

3. what antagonist trope do you need more of and why?

call me edgy, but i really like dissonance in an antagonist. visual dissonance, dissonance in their actions, like.. they’ll calmly, even happily, fuck up your whole day. they’ll even do it while still seeming soft and approachable. they’ll do it while acting as if they’re still a good person.

I ALSO LIKE.. just seemingly unstoppable “i don’t want your money, i don’t want your crown / see i’ve come to burn your kingdom down” etc type antagonists. the ones that ooze intimidation and power and That Endless Void Feeling. it’s fun to see them finally fall if irredeemable, for one!!

4. what antagonist trope do you wish would stop being a thing and why?

answered this, but an antagonist-adjacent trope i wish would go away is the trope where horrific stuff is forgiven in a handwave because “it’s the right thing to do! uwu be the bigger person!” or whatever. my brain’s fuzzy and disorderly at the moment, but that idea is just.. guilt-trippy and tells irl survivors that they’re otherwise Horrible Bad People for not forgiving their abusers immediately! i mean, steven universe has shades of this wrt the whole “we can’t FIGHT we’re FAMILY uwu” thing with the diamonds and uugghh.

5. what type of antagonist do you tend to write about the most? (optional: tell us why you gravitate toward writing these types of antagonists)

answered this one too, but i’ll add on another Trend in my antagonists. a lot of them are fem-aligned or traditionally “fem-presenting” in some way?? probably because my abusers were both women and also because i have a very complicated relationship with femininity in general so ghdlgkmdlk. trying to make more masc-aligned antagonists tho to balance this out in my own roster of ocs @___@”

8. name your favourite antagonist from any media! (live action, movies, books, webcomics, cartoons/anime, etc)

growing up on disney and the like, i really like disney classic villains. i mean, i really like faux affable Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective, the original iteration of Maleficent from disney’s Sleeping Beauty, and i also was like.. really into the writing behind Mother Gothel from Tangled and the subtle stuff they wrote in. don’t like Mother Gothel’s design bc it relies on antisemetic tropes tho :((

21. do you have any “theme songs” or playlists made for your antagonists?

i could make playlists for my antagonists all day tbh, so here’s a very short one for one of my newer antagonists, Host Cookie (AN EDGY COOKIE RUN OC FROM YOURS TRULY, IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME) :

*‘`HOLY HOLY HOLY`’*a heavenly host indeed!

~barton hollow // the civil wars“ if i die before i wake, i know the Lord my soul won't take”

~o’ death // ralph stanley“i'll fix your feet so you can't walk, i'll lock your jaw so you can't talk”

~bottom of the river // delta rae“the good Lord speaks like a rolling thunder-“

[harkeys]

i love the antagonist ask meme so if you wanna answer yourself: 1, 4, 5, 18, and 24

#long post #ableism mention #abuse mention #child abuse mention

oowoo!! gonna put this under a readmore bc it’s gonna be LONG,, though i don’t go into graphic detail and just keep things on surface-level, mind the triggers please ! ; o ;

1. what was the very first antagonist you’ve created for original content or general roleplay?

ok so in one of my very first sketchbooks when i got interested in making ocs, there was a Dark Magical Girl named (very creatively) “Dark Sugar”. i have little recollection of what she did or what her motives were, but she was like,, supposed to be a rival to a bubbly magical girl character named “neko neko-chan” i think. i’ll update this particular answer post with a picture when i’m able to ! ^_>^

4. what antagonist trope do you wish would stop being a thing and why?

i hate the ~”ps*cho killer”~ trope. anything that has to do with the marginalization and subsequent demonization of neurodivergent and/or otherwise disabled people needs to Stop being a thing. i mean, as someone who is receiving treatment for a psychotic disorder and is trying to receive BETTER treatment and screening, the whole ~ps*cho villain~ schtick in fiction is Actively making getting more extensive treatment IRL harder bc of the stigma brought on by the trope.

5. what type of antagonist do you tend to write about the most? (optional: tell us why you gravitate toward writing these types of antagonists)

i usually write about antagonists who abuse others,, usually wrt power imbalances regarding the imbalances between parent figure and child and/or age gaps in general. a common theme in vell80 for example, is familial betrayal, the betrayal of the trust and safety you’re supposed to feel with your family. though that thankfully leads into the theme of Found Family and the message that “blood family really isn’t worth the hype” and whatnot

i have other stories as well where i basically just.. rewrite my own trauma under different circumstances. i have quite a few iterations of my past abusers. and they all get their just desserts, i’ll tell you that.

but i am trying to get away from doing that because i know that constantly revisiting that era of my life can be damaging outside of a safe and controlled environment. but it helps me feel In Control, yknow? ;;

18. what is your favourite character design for an antagonist from any media? (live action, movies, books, webcomics, cartoons/anime, etc) if you don’t have a specific character in mind, just list some design tropes you enjoy.

OH WYRM CHARACTER DESIGN IS MY PASSION.. right now, my favourite antagonist design is White Diamond from Steven Universe. i loooove the ethereal dread that emanates off of her. she can almost be called godlike based on her appearance itself and that Speaks 2 Me,,

24. a loaded question, i know, but what do you think of the term “problematic fav”?

i use the term jokingly but also SPARINGLY.. like in the situation that if one of my cats knock something over, i’ll just say “[pet name] is my problematic fav” on reflex. i’ve been replacing it with “[pet name] is my chaotic neutral baby” lately, but it’s still a fleeting thought.

but in all seriousness, the term has lost all meaning to me in a non-ironic context because people who use it seriously are either terrible people themselves in some way or are the type of people to use “sjw” seriously. never a good thing,, “problematic” as a term describing someone’s wrongdoing is a total joke to me now. :\\\ it’s as if the word itself is trying to tiptoe around the elephant in the room. it’s now an unnecessary term because of it being used so much to sugarcoat stuff, i think.  (also i did read your own answer to the same question and i agree 1000% !! )

[harkeys]

☆antagonist ask meme☆

dunno if this has been done before but!! this is an antagonist/villain ask meme mostly geared for writers, but non-writers can also reblog for the media asks. have fun!! ♡

1. what was the very first antagonist you've created for original content or general roleplay?

2. who is the most current antagonist you've created for original content or general roleplay?

3. what antagonist trope do you need more of and why?

4. what antagonist trope do you wish would stop being a thing and why?

5. what type of antagonist do you tend to write about the most? (optional: tell us why you gravitate toward writing these types of antagonists)

6. do you find yourself avoiding (be it accidental or on purpose) writing a certain antagonist type? (optional: tell us why you avoid certain antagonists if on purpose)

7. do you find yourself rooting for the protagonists or the antagonists more often? why?

8. name your favourite antagonist from any media! (live action, movies, books, webcomics, cartoons/anime, etc)

9. name your least favourite antagonist from any media. (live action, movies, books, webcomics, cartoons/anime, etc)

10. what do you think of "subversive" antagonists? (bait-and-switch, villain protagonist, grey morality, etc)

11. what do you think of redemption arcs?

12. how far do you personally think can an antagonist go before they're deemed irredeemable?

13. how many antagonist characters total do you have for all of your own original content? (be it for stories or just general roleplay)

14. do you enjoy writing antagonists? or do you feel bad about having to write about them?

15. what do you personally think is the most interesting motive for an antagonist?

16. what do you personally think is the least interesting motive for an antagonist?

17. are you a fan of tragic backstories? if so, do you have a limit to how much antagonist angst is too much?

18. what is your favourite character design for an antagonist from any media? (live action, movies, books, webcomics, cartoons/anime, etc) if you don't have a specific character in mind, just list some design tropes you enjoy.

19. what is your least favourite character design for an antagonist from any media? (live action, movies, books, webcomics, cartoons/anime, etc) if you don't have a specific character in mind, just list some design tropes you don't like.

20. what is your favourite musical theme/track/score for an antagonist? be it from movies, cartoons/anime, musicals, concept albums, etc.

21. do you have any "theme songs" or playlists made for your antagonists?

22. draw one of your antagonists. if you're not much of an artist, write a blurb/snippet of them doing what they do best.

23. do you tend to write your antagonists from personal experience? if not, where do you get your inspiration from?

24. a loaded question, i know, but what do you think of the term "problematic fav"?

25. 😈 (free space for any antagonist-related question not on this list!)

have fun, y'all!! ♡

[harkeys]

are there any antagonist ask memes for writers that focus on like,, what your favourite Type of antagonist is to write, what you've been experimenting with wrt antagonists, baby's first villain/antagonist oc, most current antagonist oc, what you find you write the most, etc!!

it'd be v interesting to talk about because fictional villains/antagonists are just,, Neat. i just think they're Neat is all

[harkeys]

just a reminder! <3

[harkeys]

#pedophilia

i am legitimately going to destroy the baldi’s basics fandom

not because baldi is ~”cringe”~ or whatever bullshit but because (i did the math here) the “baldi’s basics” tag on Archive Of Our Own / AO3 is ~38% (21 out of 55 fics listed) child p*rn and the “baldi's basics of education and learning” tag is a whopping ~44% child p*rn (24 out of 54 fics listed)

i came here to have fun with a horror game, not be reminded how a staggering amount of people fetishize children and their abuse. my blood is boiling.

[cheiragogo]

ppl make fun of pinterest but at least their staff actually give a shit

[carioques]

[brynwrites]

Cheep and easy ways to find a basis for your plot.

When you have characters:

What does your character aspire to do or become? Making that aspiration really hard for them to reach.

What does your character love? Take it away from them and make them earn it back.

What does your character hate? Bind them too it and make them work to get rid of it.

When you have a world:

What is the most chaotic thing that can happen to this world’s politics? Find the character this chaos would effect the most and see what they do about it.

What is the most dangerous thing that can happen within this magic system? Figure out who would come to stop or reverse it and see what they do.

Who is the most damaging person in this world and what are they doing? Figure out who of those they hurt might rise up and defeat them.

When you have only spite:

What story do you absolutely hate the execution of? Take the very basic concept of its plot and build it into the story you wish it produced.

What plot structure do you enjoy but wish writers would be more original with? Take it and then throw a dozen spins on it.

** Remember to mix and match for more elaborate plot structures. Carry on this format with your own tricks to digging up basic plot structures!

[chambergambit]

Fortune Teller reading my palm: It just says “yikes.”

[spryfeatborzoi-deactivated20200]

Ten-in-bed

[lord-kitschener]

A bucket of snoots