RGay800 @harleybecomeconnor - Tumblr Blog

since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!

chewing-on-lead

netherator

pocketing my delicious ooze

#idk why but this is Connor behaviour #fuckin androids #dbh connor #dbh #detroit become human #deviant connor

artusmarkus

You know queer people are disowned by their bio families right? I don’t care about “””seeing””” nuclear family takes on fandom characters because I do not have one and can’t relate seriously get over yourself.

??? Lol where did this come from???

Also as a queer person who wasn't and knows plenty of people with all sorts of family dynamics, including my fiancé whose dad literally blocked him at one point... I don't know how you presume to know anything about me.

You should look inwardly anon. Cause I will definitely continue to write and draw the dynamics that I want to see. <3 Thanks for the ask! Also what nuclear family??? what are you even talking about?

harleybecomeconnor

I’m the fiance.

I’ve never had a nuclear family. I still want to see queer narratives with nuclear family dynamics. It heals me. It reminds me that it’s possible. It reminds me that the situation that hurt me isn’t all there is.

Kindly, fuck you.

well-they-fucked-up

Hank: We found no footprints at the scene, so the murderer must be very clever.

Gavin: Or a snowman.

Hank: So what we need is…did you just say a fucking snowman?

well-they-fucked-up

Gavin: When will clown sightings happen again, that was fun.

Nines: Look in the mirror and they can start today.

artusmarkus

Hello! I just wanted to tell you something regarding the post about Todd you made, but I wasn't brave enough to do it with an account attached. You know, that post made me happy, because I tend to humanize Todd in my headcanons and unpublished fics too - have him learn from his mistakes, become a better person, all that. But I always felt bad for doing that. I think Todd is that kind of character you're meant to DEhumanize in canon, and in the fandom even more so. But looking at your ideas, which have some similarities to mine, I start feeling like it might not be that evil of me to do. Though, I don't have the personal experience with a similar scenario playing out, so I dunno. I'm glad to hear it can happen, though, even if it is probably very rare? Just, thanks for sharing. Is all I wanted to say.

You're so very welcome! It's not wrong to want to see the good in someone like Todd. People are multi faceted after all.

In fact, there's nothing wrong with hoping an abuser can change. I'm lucky enough to know someone who has. I know people who have even if the abuse wasn't to the same degree. I'm glad my post helped with your feelings on it!

Here's to people getting better for themselves, their loved ones and their families! 🥂

harleybecomeconnor

Anon you are never wrong for being hopeful or exploring hopeful ideas. Hope is how people survive!

artusmarkus

Okay. I am willing to bet this has been discussed before. However, please refrain from jumping down my throat for this post. I will be blocking people who act like assholes, make no mistake. (long post good luck its basically a fic at this point)

Todd, as fucked up as he is, can still be a good father.

He shows us the beginning of this if you don't get the gun in Stormy Night (tragic that I can't threaten him and run, but DBH can only have so many different outcomes ig🤷🏽) and you walk near his area in Battle for Detroit.

In fact. It shows in his apology when he hurts Alice. He cries. CRIES. Because he knows his anger is unjustified. He lashes out at her because she's not who he wants her to be. His life isn't as it was. His wife leaving him was likely due to him using, and the fact that they had less and less money together. Addicts can and will lie to you about things just so they can continue to use drugs alcohol or otherwise.

Anyway, I'm willing to believe he started taking her money, too. Todd even briefly being remorseful is a sign that he understands his behaviour is fucked up.

It's the start of something new 🎶

I know he's abused Alice and Kara. Kara doesn't have to like Todd. Hell, I hc her as wishing she blew his brains with the gun she found in his bedside table, personally. But that's Alice first dad. She wants to be loved by him. It's all she's ever wanted.

Todd could make ammends... to actually try and be a better dad. After the Revolution happens, Alice asks Kara if they can call Todd. Kara, at first, rejects the idea completely. Why should Todd have a chance at redemption after threatening them with literal death. Luther convinces her eventually that if Todd is still awful, Alice needs to come to that conclusion herself. But you can't take away her desire to speak to her other dad.

So she compromises. Alice can send a message. Say whatever it is she wants to say, and Todd can't hurt her if he can't directly respond.

They ask Markus, who looks up his number in a registry for them, and he calls Todd to tell him his daughter hopes he is well and that you didn't get caught up in the fighting.

Todd didn't think he'd hear from her. He is shocked she'd consider herself his daughter after everything... she seemed like she had a better family now. Todd realises he's got to treat his daughter properly. Because he'd be lucky to ever have a chance at seeing his natal daughter ever again. This is a chance to fix his relationship with Alice. She must miss him even a little bit... right?

Imagine, if you will, Todd making actual attempts to go to rehab. Attempts to try and get a job again (which is really hard these days, but if Androids control Cyberlife... humans probably won't be trusted to work there for a very long time. Or ever again, tbh.) and androids will need working rights, same as humans. Companies will have to pull their finger out because they can't use slaves to do their work anymore. Things may be machine automated, but you still need someone to man them.... anyway. So, hopefully, that means Todd stands a chance at getting a job.

So as he tries to get better, not just for Alice, but eventually, he realises he wants to do it for himself. He's been misrable for so long... It's worth it to get better. It's worth it to try and build a new life and find worth in yourself again. As he develops, Maybe Alice Kara and Luther move back to Detroit. Alice misses Todd. Kara doesn't understand but she loves Alice and if she wants to see him, who is she to stop her. Maybe she'll hate him if she sees he'll never change.

Imagine how surprised they'd be. To see the house is a bit more fixed up. It's clean, even. They called ahead of time, and his number is in the registry after all. He made them android friendly food to eat. He actually made an attempt!

Of course, he's still going to slip up. Saying a scathing insult at Alice or Kara. (Never Luther because of misogyny and possible unrealised fear led by racism. It happens. He works on that, too. He has to if he wants to be around Luther and make this work.)

Kara is going to be pissed. Alice is going to be hurt. But recovery can look like a glass filling with water slowly. It can look like some of the water being poured out and being refilled and being poured out. It can even look like the slow emptying of the glass before it needs to be refilled once more. But eventually, it gets easier to keep those thoughts away. To be kind on purpose.

He makes an effort to spend time with just Luther and Alice, too. If Kara is at work, then that makes sense. Perhaps she doesn't trust Todd being alone with her baby girl. But it's okay because Todd wants to get to know them all more. He makes an effort to talk about life, and Luther, being the more generous one of the couple, is willing to hear it and talk too.

In fact Luther is probably the one that suggests Todd might be getting better to Kara. Who doesn't want to believe it because what if it's a lie? What if he relapses and decides he'd rather be miserable?

To which Luther says, and we should support him through that. People need help to change sometimes. And he started doing it alone at first. That's a green flag.

So they all try to be a family. Sort of. Todd is trying to be good. Most days, he's better. Sometimes, he has a bad day, and Alice blames herself. Most of the time, Todd knows to tell her it's not her fault he got mad. Kara sees it one time, and it shocks her to her core. He actually owns up to his behaviour now. Luther was right. Even on his bad days, he doesn't want his child to blame herself for anything an adult does ever again.

Eventually, Todd has improved enough to be at Kara and Luther's wedding.

He'd be happy to see her happy, that she found someone like he had once. Alice is excited she gets to be a flower girl and Todd is thrilled by her pure joy. Maybe one day he'll find love again. Maybe he will be able to find love and they can help each other stay afloat when their mental health spirals.

It's been a year since he's used too.

Just. The possibilities of Todd being a better father is a fantasy, but it can happen. I see it being real. People can learn how to not be abusive. They don't have to be forgiven, of course... but... if you want to let them in again, there's no harm in it. I am all for not talking to people if you don't want to, but that's not what this post is for.

I don't know. Sometimes, the 'abuser is evil and will never change' narrative does get dull. I like seeing the good in people. I personally hope the people who were unkind to me in my life get better, for their own sakes. Because as much as I despise them, they deserve to be better for themselves. Obviously, this depends on them actually wanting to change. If they dont then they can get fucked lmao

If people are willing to make other characters redeemable, I think Todd could be too.

detroitbecomeonline

Hey op, I come to you respectfully, and I'd like to offer a response :)

I don't want to trample on the headcanon that Todd can improve or that you want to make him redeemable or take away your 'abuser is evil and will never change' switchup. That's happy sunflower time and that's not something I want to take away from anyone, ever. That being said, time to ruin each other's days LMAO:

Todd is an abuser, but red ice/addiction doesn't default your personality to be that way. This human wife and child had left him before he had androids to abuse (but we don't know how long he had Kara and Alice for tbh). From very personal experience, abusers don't change. They have the same personalities and values over decades. And they have extremely similar personalities, almost like as if it's a disorder of some sort? The patterns of behaviour are the same, the manipulation tactics are the same, and they know their victims well enough to prey on their heartstrings (aka Todd crying and saying sorry to Alice in an emotional whiplash to make her emotionally crawl back to him). Todd is a caricature of an abuser, and all I can think is that the red ice just made it x100 worse. It does cause emotional turbulence but that's better shown in Leo's snappiness and desperation for money just so he can get his next fix. If Todd got over his red ice addiction, and Alice sought him out for contact, he'd be much less prone to violence (?) but he'd still be manipulative and narcissistic because that's what traits abuser personalities have, and they don't even realise it. I'm not sure what research this is so I'm going to paraphrase it, but an organisation asked abusive men what stopped them from killing their wives, and they said "because that would be too far". Which means these men all had a line they wouldn't cross. (They were asked separately by the way.) (Damn I wish I knew what this study was.) Knowing this, and seeing Todd hit the bong, red ice probably allows him to conjure up the bravery to cross his own personal lines (like hitting Alice maybe? And then even killing Alice)(not to mention breaking Kara). But there had to be a line before that. Maybe killing was the line? Maybe he beat his wife and daughter before red ice? Either way, people who are This level of abusive don't change because it's engrained into them. They ruin so many people's lives over a course of years, decades even. Regardless of whether they're android or not. Yes people can learn how not to be abusive but that concept is so foreign to me, but there are definitely organisations that help abusers to change. It's like counselling I think? But people who are so narcissistic wouldn't think they need to change, you know? I think if Alice reached out, she'd do so over and over again, getting hurt each time. She sees the good in people and definitely could attempt to contact him while in Canada.

Once again, if you want to headcanon and make Todd redeemable, go nuts. It's a creative exercise and to have him get out of his addiction (and have his addiction directly tied to his abuse) is interesting :) I understand your first points tho like it's super valid. Anyway I hope you have a good timezone and drink water <3

artusmarkus

cw: brief mention of blood + explanation of why my headcanon exists in the first place

Quick bit: I don't personally see Todd as a narcissist, and I think it's also important to note that narcissists can change, too. For selfish reasons, maybe, but it is possible. At least change enough that they no longer get into trouble when its being challenged. That I have personally seen, and its affravating knowing how someone could be great but refuses to acknowledge their own misdeeds. If that's your HC for Todd, you're completely valid! It would make sense given his behaviour.

I definitely see where you're coming from 100%! I will be honest I used to think Todd was irredeemable. I hated him. Pretty much as soon as I got the game, I made sure Kara picked up the gun. His actions disgusted me deeply, and I can not personally fathom how someone can claim to love someone and still hurt them.

However. I played the game with 2 people very close to me. Found family, really. One of whoom is the reason this HC exists. This person is my fiancé. He is the one who suggested it because this HC is personal to him, and I share it because I love him and think it'd be worth the exploration. With his permission, I can explain this a bit more.

I know the fic is a bit out there in terms of narrative, very uncommon for violent people to be less violent. Especially violent addicts, but I am also coming from a personal standpoint. Not all abusers are the same, and the abuser that I have known personally wasn't violent to begin with. He also cried after the fact. He was and is remorseful. Even if he doesn't talk about it, you can tell. He's apologised to my fiancé. I believe he's also apologised to my mother-in-law (who also was violent towards him). He knows his actions have resulted in my partner having PTSD and depression and anxiety.

Drugs (Specifically alcohol but imo its just as if not more damaging than other drugs due to its accessibility. drugs are drugs.) made him that way, and it was almost like he was an entirely different person for YEARS through my partner's teens. I wasn't there to witness it. But my partner told me all about the things hes seen and been subject to years ago and still retells events to this day. I know the family history because they are now my own. I've lived in their house as an adult. The same house that the abuse has happened in. I've seen old blood stains in the carpet. I can feel it in the air when the ex-abuser is getting angry. It's like static.

But I have never seen the violence myself. But I do know that he is different now. I see it in his lack of drinking (He now won't drink or have one or half a lager). I see it in his genuine giving nature. He's housed me when I didn't want to live with my parents (whoom I love but they are difficult people to live with and see more than I can choose to). He was kind before the violence. He's kind after. Generous. Giving. These are all things I want to see in Todd. Alice deserves to feel loved by him. He deserves to get better. Everyone is capable of being an abuser. Some more than others, of course, but still.

This headcannon is personal and a sign of hope because my father-in-law is literally a statistical miracle (My fiancé found out as much in a psychology class at uni once). Thank you for your input, I do value the viewpoint, and it is shared! Just not in this particular instance. It is important for people to know that sometimes you're better off cutting contact because they probably won't change.

Leaving them forever... well, that's easier said than done when it's someone you love. And when you've seen their kindness when they don't use drugs. I think it's just as valid to have this sunshine scenario even if it doesn't happen often. Painting all abusers as unchangeable probably makes people think they can't and won't change and probably adds to the problem. Makes people think, "I can't be an abuser I'm not THAT bad." Because people really will convince themselves they can't hurt people like that.

I'd like to think that if someone is even a little bit sorry, they can make an attempt at being better. Just like he did. Even if it's only little things.

Hope you're having a good time zone too!

harleybecomeconnor

TW: further discussion of above

I’m the fiancé in question!

Hi! I used to also think abusive people were irredeemable bastards who deserved no sympathy, until people who put me through hell and back literally changed in front of my eyes (it took years, but that’s by the by).

There’s still bloodstains on carpets and holes in doors in that house, and I’m still full of feeling over my experiences living there. I will have PTSD forever, BUT because of the huge change, I’m able to have a safe and stable relationship with my parents.

#again i completely get where you're coming from.#dbh discussion #dbh #dbh todd #dbh analysis

connor-sent-by-cyberlife

Can't wait for @dbhrarepairs' #DBHRarePairsWeek2022 to start. Already doing some warm up with a pairing I've never created content for before ;).

(click for better quality)

³ᵈ ᵇᵃˢᵉ ᶠᶤᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜᵒᶰᶰᵒʳ ᵇʸ ˡᵉˣᵃᵏᶤᶰᵉˢˢ ᵒᶰ ʳᵉᶰᵈᵉʳᵒˢᶤᵗʸ

³ᵈ ᵇᵃˢᵉ ᶠᶤᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵏᵃʳᵃ ᵇʸ ᵍᵘʰᶻᶜᵒᶤᵗᵘᶻ

#He gets p3gg3d I can tell

nalintant

I’ll adopt them.

Happy birthday dad--

I mean

Lieutenant Anderson

doesitsparkjoytho

Oops it happened again

julientel

just a small addition to my previous art

julientel

I heard it was Love Your Pet Day yesterday

maxmakes

I am SUCH a sucker for the ‘grisly, damaged adult man who has to suddenly care for and protect an abandoned child and it’s NOT creepy’ trope. like give me more reluctant makeshift dads pleaze

harleybecomeconnor

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