Game Changer & Make Some Noise
Claire Keane
macklin celebrini has autism
occasionally subtle
sheepfilms
Fai_Ryy
tannertan36
★
almost home
Xuebing Du
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tumblr dot com
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
hello vonnie
if i look back, i am lost
Love Begins
EXPECTATIONS
shark vs the universe
Andulka
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from Iraq
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Colombia
seen from Poland
seen from Portugal
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Austria
seen from Palestinian Territories
seen from Russia
@harlowcharlton
↳INSTAGRAM: @d.sterling uploaded a photo:
a girl whose name rhymes with tribeca watched me load this photo up and immediately unfollowed me. huh! weird! @heathhudson
@howdyharlow: It's a perfectly nice photo, sweetheart! I especially like your bandana.
JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN as JASON CROUSE The Good Wife S07E19 “Landing”
Kacey Musgraves - Horses and Divorces
Marley had seen plenty of TikTok clips of comedians bombing their tight five. She’d always scrolled away quickly when the secondhand embarrassment became too much to bear. Who could recover from something like that? The dragged out silence, the expectant look on the performer’s face as they waited for anyone to say anything, do anything, the awkward cough from someone in the back row. Absolutely no laughter or, worse, a forced chuckle out of pity. It was every comedian’s worst nightmare.
And, apparently, Marley’s reality tonight.
The set had been a disaster. On paper, it had worked well. She’d performed it over Skype to Diego and Poppy, just a few days ago. They might have been talented on the stage in their own right, but neither of them were particularly good actors, so when they’d laughed at her jokes, she’d believed them. The set had worked.
With a confidence she should have checked long before she climbed onto the stage, boots thudding on the wood and echoing around the dimly-lit comedy cellar, she stood center-stage and looked out into the crowd, only to forget every single word of her material.
Harlow hadn’t been there.
She’d known there wouldn’t be a lot of familiar faces in the crowd. Diego and Poppy were on tour. Mav was still dealing with everything relating to Bea, who still hadn’t shown her face yet. Santiago was helping him. She hadn’t even bothered to invite Jessie when, just the other day, Jared had made an offhand comment about it being their anniversary that weekend, no matter how much she doubted he would actually plan something special to celebrate it. She’d written off a good turnout from her loved ones, but had made her peace with it, knowing everyone had a valid excuse. But Harlow had promised to come. And as she’d stood on the stage, squinting against the glare of the spotlight, she’d let her eyes dart over each and every one of the passive expressions in the crowd, searching for a familiar cowboy hat that wasn’t there.
From that moment on, it had been Chernobyl with mic feedback. She’d forgotten the punchline to half of her jokes and resorted to crowd work instead, but nobody had been willing to throw her a bone. Nobody had even heckled her, it was that bad. Instead, she stumbled away through a few poorly-remembered quips at the expense of someone’s career, her allocated ten minutes feeling like one long, torturous lifetime.
When the MC gave her the signal, she bolted off the stage, ready to turn her phone on airplane mode so she wouldn’t have to answer Diego’s messages about how it went. As she clicked the screen on, she half-expected to see a message from Harlow, explaining his absence. With nothing there, a sick feeling settled in her stomach.
A silence like that could mean anything. But from Marley’s experience, it never meant anything good. She thought about her dad and his own failure to answer his phone when she called. Her brain instantly began conjuring up cruel images of Harlow, gray-faced and unresponsive, even though he didn’t use and barely drank. Marley still felt unsteady as she sprinted down to the subway station to get home, half-expecting to stick two fingers down Harlow’s throat when she got there.
“Shut up,” she told herself. She was being dumb. Whatever reason Harlow had for not showing up, it wouldn’t be that. It couldn’t be.
When she reached Harlow’s walk-up, she jogged up the steps, heart in her throat. Her backpack slammed uncomfortably between her shoulder blades as she went. Not only was she worried about Harlow, but Bucket too. She’d left him in the apartment a few hours ago with a kiss between his eyes and a promise to see him soon. Harlow had agreed to feed him before he came to the show.
As she neared the apartment, keys cutting jagged patterns into the palm of her hand, she hesitated outside the door, frowning when she heard voices on the other side.
Blinking in surprise, she heard the deep rumble of Harlow’s voice. The relief she felt was dizzying, her heart melting into molten mitigation. Fuck. The fear left her body in short, staccato trembles that would make it look like she was glitching to any onlooker. Like a weird stop-motion character. And then she heard another voice and froze again.
This one was higher in pitch, but a hardness coated the words, despite the familiar Texan twang they were spoken in.
Rosie.
Her reassurance was short-lived. Knowing she shouldn’t, but unable to stop herself anyway, she pressed her ear against the door, straining to hear them.
Bucket had this neat new trick. Maybe it was being too kind to call it a trick, given that neither he nor Marley had taught it to him. He wasn't sure where he'd picked it up (maybe Scoob?) but either way, he'd taken to weaving in and out of Harlow's legs whenever he moved about the kitchen. Always when Harlow was plodding around with a cup of coffee in hand, or about to leave the house, he'd start up prancing around like a prize show pony or one of those extra-smart dogs on America's Got Talent. Like he could just slow the old man down by being extra cute.
Harlow let out a guffaw of laughter, stepping real careful over Bucket so as not to trip up over his cowboy boots. He'd shined 'em up real nice, his old, beat up Tecovas relegated to the back of his closet for the night. Only the best for Marley's big night. It had been circled on the calendar for weeks, and Harlow had been running his mouth about it for just as long. It was hard to tell if Marley had been pleased or just plain embarrassed when he'd told the customer ordering the no-foam, oat milk skinny latte about her tight five that night, grinning from ear to ear as the tips of Marley's own ears turned pink.
They'd parted ways earlier in the day, Marley reassured in the knowledge Simon was coming in to work the late Harlow usually was rota'd on for that week. Nothing was gonna get in his way. He was gonna be front row, whooping and hollering and laughing louder than anybody else in the place. Not just to be supportive, but because his girl was damn funny.
That was, until he stepped foot into his living room and was scared near to death by the sight of a five foot somethin' blonde standing there in bright pink cowboy boots.
She had always had a flair for dramatics, his little girl. He had no idea where on earth Rosie Charlton had picked it up, given he and her Mama were farm people, real salt of the earth types. He'd seen Rosie with her hand up a cow's hoo-hah when said cow was calving with a serious, no-funny-business look on her face. Yet now she was standing there looking like some kind of cartoon villain, a set of fluffy looking pink keys dangling from her index finger.
'Cause of course, she had her own set of keys.
"You scared the heck out of me, Ro." he chuckled, hand clasped over his heart. He took a few tentative steps forward, slinging an arm around her neck to pull her in for a bear hug. Her tiny body stiffened in his embrace, arms still held in the same position as before, so her keys dug mercilessly into his arm.
He tried giving her a small smile, chucking under her chin ever so slightly in the way she loved when she was a kid. To look at her sometimes was to be reminded of Dolly. When she and the girls had been running around the farm as kids, it was easy to think there were McCabe triplets rather than just twins. Only, Dolly was always smiling, even when she was at her saddest. Harlow hated to say it about his own flesh and blood - but Rosie had a meanness to her that Dolly just didn't possess, and it made 'em seem like polar opposites.
"You goin' somewhere, Daddy?" she asked, lips turned downward into a pout. He watched as her eyes slid downwards, to his boots, and to Bucket peering out from behind his legs.
He nodded gently, bending his knees to scratch Bucket behind those big, silly ears of his. Reassuring him. Rosie wasn't a stranger, Bucket just didn't know her yet.
"Yeah, as a matter of fact." he said, a lazy smile turning up the corner of his lips. "Marley's got a gig tonight. A gig? A show? I dunno. She's doin'-"
The smile slid clean of his face at the sight of Rosie, whose entire face had turned stony at the mere mention of Marley's name.
It had taken forty minutes to steer Rosie from absolutely hysterical to just plain mad.
Bucket scurrying into the other room should've been a sure fire sign Marley was home, but Harlow failed to hear the tell-tale squeak of the front door because Rosie was making such a ruckus. She'd stomped up and down his hardwood floor in those boots, mascara-colored tears tracking down her face as her voice climbed higher, impossibly higher. The soothing, soft pleas of "let me call your Mama, you wanna talk to your Mama?" had been met with furthur plaintive wails, the snatching of his phone, and a high pitched cry when she saw Harlow's phone background, a slightly blurry photo of Marley and Bucket running through Central Park.
"You've. Totally. Replaced. Me." she hissed, the words harsh and cutting right through him. One hand clasped his phone, her manicured grip tight, the other thrusting around Marley's abandoned jumper. "She. Lives. Here."
"Ro, Rosie. Come on, pumpkin." he cooed, holding up two hands. The couch stood between them like a barrier, and Harlow found himself kneeling on the couch cushions, tugging Rosie towards him, the back of the couch jutting uncomfortably into his stomach as he wrestled with her wriggling, reluctant form. He missed when she was going through the terrible twos and placated with being hoisted up onto his shoulders. He didn't know what to do with a tearful girl in her twenties who felt shoved out.
"You're still my baby." he tried to soothe her, rubbing her back. "You're my little girl. I love you so much, baby girl."
You make an awful good point there. I wish I could stop her hurtin’, then maybe she wouldn’t lash out so damn much. I need her to understand… I loved her Mama. But I needed to leave, I needed to let myself open up to the possibility of well… meetin’ someone like you. And I’m real glad I did. I don’t pretend to have everything figured out, I’m just trying to do my best. By you, by Marls…
Honestly not sure where I’d be without you, baby.
I know that, darlin'. If she can't accept this version of you... It's a tough pill to swallow. Trust me, I'd know, but... Heck, look at Bea now. Hidin' from who you are only causes more hurt. An' you're doin' great by me, honey. Don't you worry about that.
Without me? You'd be charming the pants off another lucky chap, I'm sure!
When we find her, we’ll make sure she never has to hide who she ever is ever again, honey. Hurts me to hear what that girl had to go through. We’re gonna find her, I swear.
Hope I never have to find out.
Her Mama wasn't the one who left, that was me. Amicable as it was, an' all... I love 'em both. And it feels like neither of 'em know. Neither of 'em seem to get how much I love 'em.
Yeah, you did. Thank you. Goddamn, I really do like you.
I know that, honey. I just... I fought for a lotta kids, lotta teens durin' my time as a care worker, Harlow. I saw my fair share of parents stand back an' let their kid use the other parent as a punchin' bag, even when they coulda stepped in. If Laurel ain't got no bad blood with you, then how come Rosie ain't mad at her mama for still lovin' you, huh? I'm not sayin' she should be. I'm just sayin', you can't keep blamin' yourself for how Rosie feels. She's not leadin' with logic, only hurt, honey. An' as for Marley... Heck, that sweet girl's a closed book half of the time. She's afraid of somethin'. Of lettin' you in, maybe? I don't know. I love her to pieces, but you can't figure everythin' out for everyone sweetie.
Well, ain't that a relief? I like ya right back, cowboy.
You make an awful good point there. I wish I could stop her hurtin’, then maybe she wouldn’t lash out so damn much. I need her to understand… I loved her Mama. But I needed to leave, I needed to let myself open up to the possibility of well… meetin’ someone like you. And I’m real glad I did. I don’t pretend to have everything figured out, I’m just trying to do my best. By you, by Marls…
Honestly not sure where I’d be without you, baby.
She can't make her forgive me, you're right, but... She can step in an' fight your corner, honey. Rosie can't keep holding you to a different standard to her mama. It ain't right. An' I think both your girls know you love 'em deep down. I know they do. You've been a good father to both of 'em, whether they wanna admit that's what you are or not.
Hey, I didn't do nothin' special, honey.
Her Mama wasn't the one who left, that was me. Amicable as it was, an' all... I love 'em both. And it feels like neither of 'em know. Neither of 'em seem to get how much I love 'em.
Yeah, you did. Thank you. Goddamn, I really do like you.
Honey, what about Laurel? If you don't mind me askin', of course. I know you're still close, an' I guess I always thought Rosie had a good relationship with her mama. What's she got to say about all this? I don't know much about Rosie, but I know she can't punish you or anyone else forever. An' you don't have to punish yourself neither for wantin' a good relationship with your baby girl. You've got space in your heart for both her and Marley.
Laurel... she knows Rosie can be a handful. That she can be hateful. And it's sad, 'cause it ain't the way we raised her. She can't make Rosie forgive me, can't even make her love me. She just can't. I wanna be her Dad, an'... I wanna look after Marley too.
Jeez. You're gonna have me blubberin' like a baby, how'd you always get right to the heart of me like that?
Hey, we don't have to talk about anythin' you don't wanna. But I love Marley too, don't you forget that. The two of us mopin' won't bring back Bea and Marls, but it might help to talk.
I know you do, baby. I just... Rosie never wants anythin' to do with me until I'm givin' somebody else that attention. She scared off the men I dated, was mean to Doll, now she's takin' it out on Marley. And it ain't fair. I just don't know how to make Marley see I still have all this love for her, and I ain't trying to be her Dad or nothin', but...
Keep kissin' me like that an' I might start to believe ya.
Is this about Rosie, darlin'?
Sort of... we don't have to talk about it. Honest.
Is that so? You know someone that loves me that you're not tellin' me about? I'm teasin'. But, hey. I'm sure Marley knows you love her. She's like a second kid to you. I don't know exactly what went down there, but I'm sure you can make things up to her.
Aw, shucks. Don't go makin' me blush now. You know just how much I like you. An' it's a lot.
I hope... I mean, I thought she knew that. But uh, maybe not. Maybe I ain't shown her enough.
She barely knows me, honey. Maybe she didn't like what she saw. I don't know. And Marley, hm? What about her? You gonna stop beatin' yourself up too, since you're actin' real wise now.
But... you're the best. I don't know how anyone could meet ya and not love you. You're real lovable. And Marley, well. I hurt her feelings, I think. I hurt her. So I think I'm gonna be feelin' bad about that one for a little while yet.
Thank you, thank you. You're a goddamn dream.
You can't put that on yourself, darlin'. She's been through more than a kid her age should've, I see it when I look at Marls. They're both strong girls, it's nothin' to do with... well, a life with you? Who wouldn't want that? Why would you worry about that?
Why? Because what else can I tell myself? I can't believe for a second that she's gone back to Texas, so what else is there? Why else would she run from here? From a safe home.
You said it all, baby. You created a safe home for her. It's nothin' to do with you. Whatever's got her spooked... she'll come back when she needs you. Because you created a space for her to come runnin' to her brother when she needs help. You looked after her. You did everythin' and more.
'Course I wouldn't mind, darlin'. You're not addin' to nothin'. A problem shared is a problem halved, honey. I love Marley an' I wanna mek sure she's okay just as much as you, sweetheart.
Yeah, well. I just... She's young, y'know? Just a kid, really. I know she's been through a lot and she can handle herself, but she shouldn't have to. Neither of 'em. Marley or Bea. None of this should be happenin'. I just... I'm worried the life I showed her wasn't what she was expectin'.
Thank you, thank you. You're a goddamn dream.
You can't put that on yourself, darlin'. She's been through more than a kid her age should've, I see it when I look at Marls. They're both strong girls, it's nothin' to do with... well, a life with you? Who wouldn't want that? Why would you worry about that?
You don't think she's reached out to him do ya? Maybe she just needs some space, I don't... How about Ivy? I could talk to Wardo, I'm sure. Maybe try the instagram?
You don't have to do anythin', honey. You've got enough on your plate without adding my family drama to the mix.
You wouldn't mind, talkin' to Wardo, I mean? I don't wanna... add to your troubles. I just really wanna get her back.
That's what we do, baby. We care of each other. I jus' wanna make sure you and Bea are okay. If that means we walk the streets of New York all night lookin', I'll do it. If you need someone... I'll be that someone.
Aw, jeez. I'm sorry, darlin'. I really am. We're in this together though, right? You an' me, same boat. You try reachin' out to Diego at all? I think he'd be fierce worried, sweetie.
I'm not tryin' to give up, I just... If she wanted to be found, she would. She's good at hidin'. We had to be good at it.
I just wish it was a boat we didn't have to be in. I just don't know where she coulda... I dunno, shit. I tried. How'd you get hold of one of the most famous men in the world? I can't even get close.
Oh, Mav... what can I do, darlin'?
It's strange, ain't it? I spent dang near my whole life alone. I finally got used to havin' people around an' here I am. Lost. I'm sorry about Marley, sweetheart. Have you tried callin' her at all? The beard's not goin' anywhere, don't you worry.
Yeah, I don't wanna break his spirit, but... I don't think she's comin' back.
Well, long as you wanna keep me around, you ain't gonna be alone for the forseeable, darlin'. You ain't lost, I promise. And well, I tried. But she ain't picking up. Went round all her usual haunts, no Marley. Diego's on tour and... shit, I dunno what to do.
You can't give up hope like that. She'll come back. She's gotta.
