Miserable At Best

Harlow Jane Anderson ❆ 17 ❆ Junior "Why should I have a heavy heart?Why should I start to break in pieces? Why should I go and fall apart for you?

[harlowxanderson]

Numb ~ OPEN

Harlow was for lack of a better word, numb. She felt sorry for the Castle siblings, knowing that what they would be going through would be as bad as what she was feeling, and she knew they had also been in a similar position to her when Gunner had gone missing in the first place, but she couldn’t comfort either of them just yet, in fact she couldn’t do much with her sister missing.  Sitting at a table in the mess hall, the blonde stared straight ahead, but she wasn’t staring at anything in particular, just off into space.  She felt hopeless, and that was something Harlow Anderson wasn’t used to. She had always been able to help Maisie when she needed, always, but how can you be there for someone who wasn’t even there?  Completely in her own little world, Harlow didn’t realise someone had sat across from her until they spoke..

[harlowxanderson]

emeryxnewman

It had all happened so fast, but Emery wasted no time in reacting. The moment the lights cut out she’d pulled the stun gun out of her vest. The entire gymnasium was pitch black, and although she managed to turn on her flashlight, it wasn’t soon enough, as the lights had been turned on shortly after. Running to the stage, Emery quickly adjusted the earpiece and microphone, turning on her comms and ordering the rest of her security team to guard all entrances and exits. The dead body was an entirely different matter, and just as she went to approach it she was halted by a screaming girl.

Placing her hands gently on Harlow’s shoulders to hold her back, Emery’s voice was soothing as she spoke. “Hey, deep breaths. Deep breaths. I’m not going to hurt you, I just need you to stay calm.” Emery knew it was such a shitty thing to say right now, but there wasn’t much more she could do. Because when it came down to it, Harlow needed to breathe. She needed to lower her blood pressure and take deep breaths, because fainting wouldn’t do Harlow any good right now, even though Emery was prepared for anything. “Hey, we’re gonna figure this out. Okay? We will.”

Harlow blinked at Emery’s words, a stunned look crossing her features before she started to panic again. “I know you’re not going to hurt me but whoever took Maisie is going to hurt her so you need to let me go so I can find her.” she said firmly as she took a step back. Maisie may not have been her sister by blood, but the two were closer than most biological sisters out there and Harlow Anderson would not rest until Maisie was safe and sound. Panicked state or not her mind was clear enough to know what she was doing. 

[laurent-vasiliyev]

guilty

[harlowxanderson]

laurent-vasiliyev

The lights go back on the second Laurent reaches the bathroom, stumbling into the nearest cubicle to lock himself in. The distant sound of screaming students mixes in with the wretched noise of him throwing up, red hands smearing thick, foreign blood everywhere he goes.

Vivid pictures he’d rather forget flash in front of his eyes; The body bag, the rope, the piece of paper with instructions scribbled across it. He’d been standing at the very back of the stage beside the fire exit, trembling hands ready to untie the knot, and subsequently release hell. But he hadn’t been thinking straight, how could he have been? E’s threats, real and alive and dangerously close to destroying his life should he refuse to comply, were more than even he could stomach. Not even the Devil would forgive him for the sins he’d committed to save himself.

Leaving the cubicle he goes over to one of the sinks, feverishly starting to scrub the blood off his hands. The water runs read against the white porcelain basin, washing away all evidence of his crimes. The music’s gone out and he can still hear people screaming, countless footsteps moving in all directions as the crowd disperses in a panicked frenzy. 

He leaves the bathroom after washing away most of the traces, inconspicuously trying to slide back into the hall to join the rush of people trying to get back to their dorms. 

Harlow was frantic, doing her best to find where on Earth had sister had disappeared to. Part of her could help but think this was her fault. She had ignored E.. she had refused to wreck the Headmistresses office, this had to be her punishment.. losing her sister. That thought alone was enough to stress her out even more, and she was on the verge of hyperventilating.. the only thing keeping her from toppling off the edge completely was the determination she felt to find Maisie.  She managed to slip through the crowd in the hall without being stopped, shoving past people a little too roughly, until she smacked straight into a body she couldn’t get around. Looking up at her tall classmate Harlow blinked. “Sorry.” she stuttered with a small sniffle. “I just- this is stupid but you haven’t seen Maisie at all? Not even a glimpse?” 

[harlowxanderson]

Harlow was definitely not okay. One minute she stood to the side of the stage, loving the fact that everything had gone well. Everyone had been having a beautiful night and Harlow had been happy.. her heart was so full as she watched her sister start her speech and then in a second it changed. Harlow didn’t panic the instant the lights went out. Sure it was terrifying but she knew how to stay calm in certain situations, however the instant she heard Maisie screech her name the panic set in. “MAISIE.” she screeched back, moving forwards towards where she thought the stage was, but then the lights turned on, and Gunner’s body was laying where Maisie should have been standing.  “Maisie?” she called, looking around quickly before she started moving. “Maisie- Maisie where are you?” she called, getting louder and louder each time she said the other blonde’s name. A staff member grabbed hold of her and tried to drag her towards and exit, which only made her scream louder as she pulled away from their grasp.  Rushing into the crowd, she continued to yell Maisie’s name until she felt someone else grab her arm from behind. Stopping she turned quickly, not even in the right frame to know who had taken hold of her.  “LET ME GO.” 

[harlowxanderson]

Clean Slate ~ Pascal&Harlow

Looking around the indoor stadium, Harlow was thrilled. Everything looked beautiful and everyone looked even better. She and Maisie had spent the last month trying to make sure everything was going to be perfect so their classmates could have a good night and show how even with someone as horrible as E lurking around, they could still find the light in the dark. Tonight was about them uniting and she was determined to make sure nothing got in the way of that. Which is why as soon as she spotted Pascal she decided to try smooth things over a little. They hadn’t exactly ended their last conversation on good terms, and although it hurt that he had refused to help her out of a sticky situation, she knew that life was too short to hold any grudges or lose people over something so stupid. Walking up to him from behind, she tapped him on the shoulder ever so lightly. “Hey.” she started with a sheepish smile. “Look I just wanted to apologise for you know.. I was scared of what she would do but it seems like nothing bad happened so I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have tried to drag you into it.. I shouldn’t have even paid attention to the message in the first place.” 

@pascal-andean

[harlowxanderson]

FAIRFIELD PREP’S ANNUAL SNOWFLAKE BALL ‘18; ~ Harlow Anderson ~

[thegoodvybe]

[harlowxanderson]

Wake Up ~ Harlow&Kace

[harlowxanderson]

kace-west

With all the hurt, and distraction lately, Kace had forgotten this was his senior year. And he was in fact going to be gone. In due time, but that time was ticking and pass in an instant. Kace frowned for a moment, his brows furrowing, and his shoulders falling, “I.. honestly forgot that..” He said with sigh in his voice. He shook his head. It wasn’t selfish. Not when you’re terrified, with tons of baggage on your shoulders. He sighs, and takes a step away from her, frowning at the grass. 

“Well, I can’t–” He paused and started over, “I don’t–” He sighed, not knowing how to make this situation any better. He ran a hand through his hair, and glanced off into the distance, “It’s like I’ll disappear into nothingness. But I have… goals. I’ll still be here. Just not here.”

“And don’t worry about it being selfish, Low.” He says as he brings his gaze back to her, “I.. would feel the exact way if the situations were changed. Besides, what I have planned isn’t written in stone, okay? And if you and Braelynn need me here. Then that’s what I have to do.” He says, a small smile on his face, “I have a long life ahead of me, we all do. Even if it doesn’t seem that way.”

Harlow saw the realisation in his features and for a second she wished she hadn’t said anything. She didn’t want him to think he had to worry about her, just because she was having a weak moment. As he stepped away, she leaned back against the tree, glancing off into the distance where the figure who had almost caught them had disappeared to.  “No.. you can’t put your plans on hold for some stupid high school game.” she said firmly with a shake of her head. Sure she was scared, but she could handle herself. That was something she had always been able to do.  “Flynn thought he had a long life ahead of him too.” she added in a low murmur, her eyes lowering to the ground instantly. “You can’t give up on your plans just because you think you have a long life to fall back on because yeah, we might be alive sixty or seventy years from now, but we also might not be. You can’t stay here forever, especially not just for our sake.” 

[westlife]

Eliza Taylor: Would you describe yourself as an outdoorsy person?

[harlowxanderson]

Vandalism ~ Pascal&Harlow

[harlowxanderson]

pascal-andean

Under different, less dangerous circumstances, Pascal might have immediately agreed to her proposition. A little fun never went amiss; Anything to brighten up the dull routine of school-work-bed was a welcome thing in his books. Until his sister almost died, E tried to murder half the student body and some nights he couldn’t stop throwing up - wishing he’d choked on the words he’d yelled at Leo. But no matter how hard he scrubbed, it seemed he’d never be able to rid himself of the guilt. 

“No. I can’t, Har. I’m sorry. Not if E’s involved again.”

He took a seat on the bleachers beside her, sliding his hands deep into his pockets. His self-assured, positive shell was crumbling and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to keep it up. 

“I haven’t.. I haven’t spoken to Paige since then. What if E just wants to mess with me? What if I dragged her into this mess, and what if she’s better off without me in her life? Everyone would be better off without me in their lives.”

The self-pity tasted foul in his mouth but he couldn’t hold it back any longer, a heavy weight lifting off his chest and dissipating in the cold winter air alongside his breath. 

“I’m scared. I don’t want to give E any more ammunition than they already have. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with this.”

Upon hearing the word no, Harlow blinked a few times. It took a few seconds to realise what he had said, and in all honesty it left her speechless for once. She stared at him as he sat next to her, trying to hide the shock that had flashed across her features.  “Pascal.. of course E just wants to mess with you, she’s messing with all of us.. I..” cutting herself off, she shook her head. Hearing that he was scared, Harlow’s expression softened. She understood what it was like to be scared, especially when it came to family.  “I understand that.. but I’m not asking you just because I picked someone at random. She named you. She told me to get you to help and if you don’t help me she’s going to tell Kace we spiked the punch-” rolling her lips inwards she paused. “I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal but Kace.. he wasn’t okay with it, he despises the person who did it and I care about him too much to let some anonymous bitch to put a wedge between us. I know this is asking a lot, but I need you to help me with this.. please.” 

[harlowxanderson]

Vandalism ~ Pascal&Harlow

[harlowxanderson]

pascal-andean

Pascal liked Harlow. He liked spending time with her, and spiking the punch together had been fun - despite the disastrous outcome. He didn’t spare her text message a second thought after reading it, and come seven, he was en route to the oval bleachers with a torch in hand. 

“Harlow?” 

The winter evenings in Scotland were cold and dark and Pascal wrapped himself further in the thick jacket he’d grabbed on his way from the gym, the beam of the torch travelling across the bleachers before falling upon her hunched up figure. 

Keeping the beam trained on her, he started to climb the stairs, absentmindedly watching the way his breath curled and twisted through the cold winter air. 

“Hey. What’s so important it can’t be discussed inside, where it’s warm?”

Hearing Pascal’s voice, Harlow looked up slowly, a small but almost sad smile pulling at her lips. “Hey,” she replied. “I got a text from E.” she said instantly, not wasting any time beating around the bush. “She wants us to vandalise Headmistress Patterson’s office.. you in?”  Harlow wasn’t too upset with the task, it was more the threat behind it. Messing up an office was going to be easy, and with Pascal by her side she knew it’d probably be fun, as long as neither of them got caught, and considering he was here she was assuming, and seriously hoping, he would agree. “Her suite backs on to her office so we can’t do it while she’s asleep because she’ll hear us, but she’s actually at a staff meeting in the mess hall tonight. We have to get in and out and back to our dorms before she gets back because once she does all hell is going to break loose and she’ll probably call an emergency assembly.. she’s also got cameras in there so we need some sort of mask..”

[harlowxanderson]

Wake Up ~ Harlow&Kace

[harlowxanderson]

kace-west

Harlow was a strong girl, too strong for her own good. So when Kace saw the tears, heard her quiet broken tone, and felt her body lean on him, depend on him, he felt in his heart the same protectiveness he felt a long time ago. It was different now, because he was different and she was, yet they were both the same kids at the same time. 

He was grateful he didn’t hurt her, but he knew she was hurt in a way that didn’t heal quickly, that didn’t heal in a night, to a day, or even a week. Harlow went through some trauma in life, and that had to be resurfacing because she was sweet, and happy and the girl in front of him, caressing his cheek was shattered. The difference between now and then? Kace was here this time. Really here. Not giving up on her, watching her from a distance, or ‘giving her time’. 

He nodded his head at her words, trying to compose himself, his mind, his body, everything. “I’m holding you to those words, Low.” He said, his voice strong, and sturdy, “Because I won’t let you go, not this time. Whatever is going on, with this blog, and this campus. You, and me are in this together. We’re going to protect each other and our sisters.” He said, his voice shaking, he paused for a second and composed himself again.

“We’re going to figure out a way,” He said, wiping her wet cheeks dry, and pushing the hair out of her eyes, “To make this end, to keep low and stop this from hurting us again.” He’d like to say everyone. But Kace knew how these things went down, and rarely did they end with rainbows, “We have each other to trust at least. We’ll keep an eye out for each other, be there. We have the opportunity to change things now.” He said firmly. 

Her eyes watching him intently as he spoke, Harlow hung onto every single word that passed through his lips. She needed to desperately to believe what he was saying was true, to believe that they would be able to get through this, but there was no denying it was going to be hard.  “Please don’t let me go again..” she replied in a whisper, not that she doubted his words at all, she was just confirming that she needed him. There was very little that Harlow could live without, Maisie was obviously one person who she would be absolutely heartbroken if she lost her, but Kace was another.. in that moment, Harlow realised that if anything happened to Kace, she would be lost.. and not in the way she was with Flynn. After Flynn’s death she had managed to put up a mask. Sure it hurt losing him, especially seeing as she blamed herself for his death, but if she had been okay after it.. whereas if it was Kace she had lost, if the roles had been reversed with the two boys, Harlow would have died along with him.  “I believe you.. and I trust that we can stop this, but Kace I’m so damn scared. I’m scared that you’ll get hurt in the process. That Maisie and Braelynn will get hurt. I’ve failed people before, I’ve failed you before... I can’t do that again..” shaking her head, she broke eye contact, glancing down at her hands. “You’re leaving next year..” she added in a low mumble. “I don’t know how I can do this without you.. not just the whole ending E and Fake Escapes thing and protecting our sisters but this.. this life, I don’t- it’s selfish but I, I don’t know how to do it without you.” 

[wnq-music]

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.

Bob Marley (via wnq-music)

[harlowxanderson]

Vandalism ~ Pascal&Harlow

Waiting for seven o’clock was like waiting for paint to dry. Harlow had been anxious and on edge all day. She felt like she was on a time restraint.. like every second that passed was another second closer to Kace finding out what she had done.  As she walked towards the ovals in the dark, she couldn’t help but remember how much he had freaked out when he’d caught her out in the dark the other night and she couldn’t help but wonder if he would still care that much if he knew.. shaking off the thought as best she could, Harlow quickened her pace a little. She had a job to do tonight, and she was going to do it with a clear head.  Finally reaching the bleachers, Harlow took a seat while she waited for Pascal to show up. She was confident he would after she had helped him recently, but she still felt bad that E was dragging him into yet another problem.  @pascal-andean

[harlowxanderson]

[TEXT] Harlow my sweet cupcake, good job on assisting Pascal with our little punch surprise. I bet you didn't think Kace would react that badly to it.. it'd be a shame if he found out it was you.. but don't worry! I won't tell him, IF you get your partner in crime to help you vandalise Headmistress Patterson's office. You both did so well last time, I know you won't let me down now. xx E.

Harlow was just about to leave her dorm room when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She had had a smile on her face most of the morning, but the instant she got a glimpse of the message and the unknown sender her heart sank. Opening it with shaky hands, Harlow bit her lip as she read the text. Kace couldn’t find out about her spiking the punch. Sure she had done it to help Pascal and stop E from doing anything psychotic to his sister, but she wasn’t going to throw an excuse like that at Kace. The truth was, what she had done had hurt someone she cared very deeply about, but she wouldn’t have changed it at all, especially because of the dire circumstances. However that didn’t mean she wanted Kace to know. Nope that was never happening.. so exiting out of the text from E, she sent a text to Pascal: “I need you to meet me by the oval bleachers at 7pm please. It’s important.. I need your help.” @pascal-andean

[kathsbishops]

elizajaneface: Ladies. @marieavgeropoulos

[harlowxanderson]

@westboundbraelynn

[griffinskane]

Moodboard // Clarke Griffin, The 100

We’ll figure something out. We always do.