Liar in Disguise

@HarperDesoto f*ck you and your hay

[rosalinapng]

I think people get off on the idea of getting caught.

[harperno]

What happened to the good ole days when couples would just go hook up in a movie theatre? Times are changing, man, and I definitely blame it on 50 Shades Of Grey. 

[stfuariel-blog-blog]

Pretty sure it’s farther to go all the way home than to walk a few hundred feet to the next bathroom… Logic, Harper. God gave it to you, so use it.

[harperno]

Well, damn, I feel dumber than a guy who couldn't pour piss out of his boots with the instructions written on the heel. You're just pointing out all the holes in my logic.  

[stfuariel-blog-blog]

Leavin’? And just where do you plan on goin’? There are so many bathrooms around here, Harper. I have faith that you’ll find one that’s in service. 

[harperno]

Y'know, I do have this nifty little place called a home, Troy. I'm sure you've heard of one before. And, ya, I do know I can go to another bathroom -- it's just the walk is so far.  

[rosalinapng]

Some people are so disgusting I found a used condom the other day when I was walking around the field. It was gross.

[harperno]

All I wanna know, is how someone actually gets -- y'know -- at an amusement park filled with gross lookin' zombies. I don't like kink shamin' but that's on a whole other level. 

[zaviers]

"Nothing scarier than a broken toilet. Although, we are in a park…”

[harperno]

I know I know, but I don't like to leave my post. I miss too many good opportunities to mess with people by doing that.  

[harperno]

Oh my Gosh, I have to potty so bad, but the bathroom near the front gate has been clogged all day. I swear, if a janitor doesn't come fix it soon -- i'm just leavin'. 

[orionmarin]

I knew I should have brought a jacket to work, today. It’s getting chillier every day..

[harperno]

I'm sure, they have one in the gift shop. You could just buy ya one. 

[sikebentlix]

Don’t you mean mute people?

[harperno]

No, either works fine. Considerin', one, can't talk and the other can't hear themselves to talk. But, thanks for tryin' to fix my supposed error that's real sweet of ya. 

[stfuariel-blog-blog]

Taylor Swift? I’m not so sure that’s a compliment, babe. But I see where you’re headed with that train of thought, and let me tell you, I’m on board.

[harperno]

The whole it not being a compliment thing, was kinda the point, babe. 

[sikebentlix]

See, I think I’d actually like you a bit better if you didn’t speak so much.

[harperno]

Then you should probably consider makin' friends with some deaf people. 

[harperno]

[sikebentlix]

—.. As pretty as a dang penny? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before, but I suppose I’ll accept the compliment. Seems pretty true, anyway.

[harperno]

It's because I embody originality. Everytime I speak wit and uniqueness just spew out. It's a true gift from above. 

[stfuariel-blog-blog]

Don’t forget that Michael’s dick is bigger than a tower! That’s a really important detail. Her pussy puts his ass to sleep, and because it does, he calls her NyQuil. That’s lyrical genius at it’s finest.

[harperno]

It's like she speaks to the soul with her musics. Nicki, honestly sings all the thoughts I have. True artist. She's like Taylor Swift for rap. 

[stfuariel-blog-blog]

      Boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit… Big dope dealer money, he was gettin’ some coins. Fuck, that song is so real. So real.

[stfuariel-blog-blog]

[harperno]

     All I got from that song is that Nicki has a booty I need to steal. 

[harperno]

If I had a dollar every  time someone actually believed some of the random shit I spewed out; I wouldn't have to work at this little amusement park. 

[sikebentlix]

I know I’ve already asked this, like, a million times, but I don’t care. —… Does my costume make me look fat?

[sikebentlix]

[harperno]

Bless your heart, you do not look fat. In fact, you look as pretty as a dang penny. 

[eurothq-deactivated20160117]

So I was working in the fortune telling booth, as always, and this little girl who was about maybe twelve, thirteen-ish came in. She started asking me all these ridiculous questions about everything and I answered as best as I could. Then I did my little ‘rubbing the magic ball’ stint and finally told her that she’ll never marry her favorite boybander. Needless to say, she ran out crying and screaming on how those quizzes in J-14 lied to her and ruined her life. I think I did a bad thing. 

[eurothq-deactivated20160117]

[harperno]

You just crushed the dream of a thirteen year old. I have never been more proud of someone in my whole life. Those stupid magazines build too much hope for tweenagers, like, Harry Styles can't marry every single girl on the earth. I'm sure he's down for some kinky stuff, but polygamy.... No. You've done a good deed. You deserve a medal.