ren

💋

[harrysbabycherry]

MASTERLIST

taglist!

MINI SERIES

boyfriend’s boss

part one part two

harry is infatuated with the woman he meets at his company’s christmas party. but her boyfriend works for him [completed]

best friend’s ex boyfriend

part one part two part three

y/n reconnects with harry years after they graduate, and he’s her best friend’s ex boyfriend [completed]

sugar

part one part two part three

harry is y/n’s sugar daddy and she’s kind of hiding a teeny tiny secret from him [completed]

vampire y/n

part one part two

y/n is a vampire and harry is human and he accidentally stumbles upon her desolate home in the woods [completed]

a favor

part one part two part three

extra #1

y/n is harry’s assistant and he asks a very interesting favor from her [completed]

over again

part one part two part three

y/n thought she’d never see harry again, but even after everything, he can’t let her get away that easy, can he?

[on hold]

lifesaver

part one part two part three part four

harry is a divorce lawyer and y/n really needs his help [completed]

housemates

part one part two part three part four part five part six

y/n needs a roommate and her brother has someone in mind [completed]

the fall

part one part two part three part four

extra #1 extra #2

all y/n wants is to be his and all harry wants is to keep her at arm’s length [completed]

lovesick

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

harry just wants y/n's phone number and she's not interested. at least that's what she says [completed]

the match

part one part two

y/n needs a new place to live, and somehow, like most things lately, it doesn’t go to plan

SERIES

neptune

harry, god of the sea, has given up on finding love after a millennium of loneliness. but one breezy night in june, on the island he calls home, he finds it again.

series masterlist

ONE SHOTS / BLURBS

ONE NIGHT ONLY part two

y/n just wants to get her virginity out of the way and harry might just be the one to help her out with that. [completed]

THREE MONTHS

it’s harry’s first time out since he’s become a dad

THE BREAK UP

harry and y/n break up.

NOT LIKE A FRIEND

y/n overhears something that sends her on a spiral and harry has no idea

VALENTINE

harry doesn’t realize he’s on a date but y/n thought she’d been so obvious about it

A ROLL OF THE DICE

y/n and harry just can’t tolerate each other. until they do. but really only long enough to get their clothes off.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

y/n and harry are exes and have been for a while now, but when her current boyfriend proposes to her during the show harry invited her to, nothing goes to plan

HALLOWEEN FICS MASTERLIST

Buy me a coffee!! ☕️❤️

[harrysbabycherry]

REN will you ever do a wolfrry fic?

Oh most definitely! That’s my favorite kind lol. I have one for the Halloween masterlist and it’s done ish. But yes, that’s my fav trope idk why 😭 it hits every time

[harrysbabycherry]

REN thoughts about the mv

My face the whole time literally: 😮😮😮😮

[harrysbabycherry]

Just a fyi Lenny Zoe’s dad liked and commented on Harry’s post about the music video

Lol yeah I just saw that!

[harrysbabycherry]

https://www.tumblr.com/harrysbabycherry/815444433621450752/ren-thoughts-on-the-engagement so what you’re done with Harry

Nope! I just don’t have any strong feelings on it. I will still be in nyc in September!!! I’m not going anywhere lol

[harrysbabycherry]

REN thoughts on the engagement!?

Honestly. There was no reaction from me. At all 😭 and I’m not sure what that means bc like a year ago that news would’ve taken me out. I’d be on the floor somewhere but I’m good like. Good for him lol

[harrysbabycherry]

the match part three tonite queen????

This is so so so late. All these asks are but lol I wish it could be tonight!! I’ve been slacking bad. Life sucks rn :(

[harrysbabycherry]

Heyyyy!

I’ve read ‘roll the dice’ like 7 times now it’s so good!! I was wondering if you would ever do a part 2?

Thanks! your work!!!

Hiii! That one is so much fun! I do have a part two in the works, I just haven’t gotten around to finishing it yet. But thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it!!!

[harrysbabycherry]

Do you think Harry would want vampy yn to turn him? Would they have a big disagreement? Btw I would love a check in on them if you inspired!

I think he would ask eventually and she would be soooo against it lol. And omg a HUGE disagreement 😭 And sure! I think we can work this in somewhere!

[harrysbabycherry]

WHAT ARE YOUR KISSCO TOP FIVES

MY TOP FIVES

1. Coming up roses

2. Carla's song

3. Dance no more

4. American girls

5. Taste back

Ooh okay! Same for me for the first three but then Season 2 Weight Loss is definitely there. And Ready, Steady, Go is a new development for me but it’s got to be there now too lol

[harrysbabycherry]

ren can we please get a check in to my lovesick babies?🥹 miss them so so so much

Should be able to work that in soon!! I miss writing for them!! 😁

[harrysbabycherry]

the match (part two)

summary: a HUGE misreading, a phone call, a rainstorm, and lemonade :)

10k words!

warnings: mentions of grief, very brief description of a panic attack, and i think that’s it! enjoy (sorry i’m so late)

Harry doesn’t think he’s heard (Y/N) say a word in three days. 

But that was fine. He was free from her incessant questions and he thinks she might have finally learned to leave him be. He doesn’t see her, he doesn’t hear her, and somehow she moves around without him running into him. 

She’s in the shower upstairs. He heard the door shut and the water start ten minutes ago while he’s been barely focused on the tv in front of him. There’s nothing interesting on, he just wants to numb his mind a bit after a long day of thinking too hard. 

He stretched out further on the couch but his hand bumped something under the pillow. He grabbed it and pulled it out, immediately recognizing it as the journal that (Y/N) writes in all the time. He can’t believe she left it out in the open. He’d never have anything personal anywhere where someone could see it. 

It was a hardback journal, pale green, her name spelled across the front in glittery pink stickers. It was pretty thin, she probably runs through these if she always writes as much as he’s seen her in the past. 

He went to put it back where he found it, but paused. 

The shower was still running, she’d probably be in there for another ten minutes. Maybe he had some time. 

He wouldn’t want anyone to do it to him, but he flicked open the first page and skimmed, checking over his shoulder once, seeing the top of the stairs still clear. And he doesn't know why, other than that he's curious. Because why would he have a normal conversation with her when he can just read her innermost thoughts in her journal? 

Pretty boring. It was just her going too into detail about her work day months ago before she moved in. He sees names he doesn’t recognize. Which, why would he? He doesn’t know a thing about her. 

Someone named Lucas must’ve pissed her off so much her writing gets a little wonky for a minute. 

Lucas wants to break up. 

Bingo. 

Is it bad that I don’t care? 

It’s like reality tv. 

He flips to the most recent entry which is about halfway into the book. The water shut off, but he tries to hurry, skimming over the page as fast as possible until he lands on something that catches his eye. 

He’s so dreamy and every time he comes around I don’t remember how to function.

His eyes, his hair, his hands, his tattoo—

The book was slammed shut and replaced back under the pillow. The bathroom door had opened and he thought it best to not get caught reading her journal. Especially when they don't seem to be on the best terms right now.

He glanced at the clock on the wall to his right seeing that it was close to six, right before the weather report normally came on. He switched channels and tried to relax. More rain was coming because of course it would be, it's the time of year for it. It still doesn't make him any less restless when he tries to prepare himself for it.

(Y/N) came down the steps only seconds later, hair wet, a tee shirt over her now, along with a pair of pajama pants. She didn't even look at him, she just reached right beside him for the journal under the throw pillow, and then walked directly back up the stairs and into her room. 

He sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment. He has no idea what whatever in her journal meant. And he doesn't want to jump to conclusions about anything, but he can't help but assume…

It's something that he should address immediately if what he's read is what he thinks he read. Yeah, she has an ex, but as far as he could tell from the other entry, she wants nothing to do with him. And it's not that he has a lot of context to that one sentence, but he's thinking the worst. 

If it wasn’t for the word tattoos, he wouldn’t even think anything of it. Tons of people have hair and eyes and hands but tattoos? They’re the only thing that gives him personality these days. What else is he supposed to think?

Even if it's not about him, he should make himself clear anyway. He's not interested. And if that was about someone else, so be it. At least he let her know that this isn't going to happen. It's not the first time he's had to shut someone down. It's better to get it over with as soon as possible. 

The pie shop has exposed him to all kinds of people. And he's not so naive to think that no one would ever want anything to do with him again. He's aware of how he's perceived by others. There's nothing cocky about it, it's just facts. 

It's either he tells her that there's no chance or he just avoids her until the end of time. That will definitely let her know without explicitly having to say it. But he figured it best to tell her when the opportunity presented itself. 

*****

(Y/N) is pretty sure Harry’s mad at her. 

And if it’s about her innocent question the other day, he doesn’t have a reason to be. He could have handled that a dozen different ways, even with silence. Silence is always an answer. 

But instead, he’s been almost avoiding her it seems like. Whenever she catches him in the kitchen or the living room, he's like a deer in headlights. Like, he hadn't expected her to be anywhere near him. And then he runs off as if he's being chased. 

It's nothing she really feels like bothering with because considering he acted a little unfairly the last time she tried to be friendly and offer him food and possibly a night where they could bond. 

Not necessarily bond, but maybe she’d learn something about him other than his favorite pie and maybe he’d lighten up a little bit more once she shows him she’s not here to cause any trouble for him. 

Since that’s never going to happen, she figures she can cause a little trouble for him. 

She won’t ask about the picture again. Goodness, she doesn’t think she’ll ever get the courage to do that again, but she can annoy the ever loving shit out of him. To the point where he has to acknowledge her. It’s one of her favorite things to do. 

That will have to wait though. She’s going out tonight. 

Raven and a few other friends were stopping by to pick her up in about twenty minutes and she’d just finished on her hair. She couldn’t do anything too extravagant, but she did try and that’s all that really matters. (Y/N) hasn’t been out of the house since she moved in. Four months is a long time without seeing her entire friend group, they used to do something weekly, but eventually people just got busy and plans got canceled or moved around. 

She hasn’t heard anything from Harry since she got home. He was locked away in his bedroom when she got back from work, so she hasn’t even seen him yet today. 

But she does hear the sound of someone besides Harry downstairs. She hasn’t been down since she got home, but if she didn’t know any better, she’d think Harry had company tonight. She was actually almost excited for Raven to pull up so she could go down and see who was here. 

Raven texted and she jumped off her bed and grabbed her purse before rushing to the top of the steps. 

There was a man on the couch sitting a cushion away from Harry. They were talking but not about anything she could hear. A sports game was playing on the tv and they both had beers. So they are allowed to have friends over. Raven might actually get her wish to come inside one of these days. 

She started down the steps and ignored the way Harry turned almost immediately at the sound of her footsteps. But she didn’t look up from her feet until she was at the bottom. She’s probably dressed nicer than he’s ever seen her, maybe that’s why he’s looking at her with such disdain. It was only jeans and a sparkly top that tied behind her neck, showing off her shoulders and back, but he’s probably used to seeing her in sweatpants. 

She didn’t bother saying anything to either one of them but she did walk past to get to the kitchen to grab her keys from the hook by the sink. She’d actually put up a few hooks right next to each other but she was the only one that used them, Harry never even commented on them, but she knows he noticed. 

“Harry, you didn’t tell me you lived with a supermodel.” Harry’s friend spoke up when she paused to text Raven back, telling her she’d just be a minute. 

She was flattered instantly. His friend was good looking because he had to be. Harry’s attention was pulled from the tv and now locked onto her again as she stood just outside of the foyer. 

“I don’t.” Harry muttered, not taking his gaze away from her as he sipped from the beer in his hand. 

“I’m (Y/N).” She should’ve known that Harry would be less than cordial, even with a guest in the house, so she decided to introduce herself because he obviously wasn’t going to. She stuck her hand over to shake his and he did, not letting go quite as soon as she thought he would. 

“AJ. Harry has told me nothing about you. Where are you off to? Is it more fun than this?” He nodded toward the tv and Harry. She didn’t want to laugh but she couldn’t help it. 

“Anything would be.” She saw his eyes roll. “Just out. My friends are picking me up.” 

“Oh, nice. Well, I won’t keep you, but if you're looking for a new roommate in the near future, I’ll have a vacancy soon.” He winked, pulling another laugh from her, and dropping her hand. 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Have a good night, nice to meet you.” She fluttered a wave in his direction as she turned toward the door to leave. 

Harry waited for the door to shut before glaring at AJ. 

“You didn’t have to say a word to her, you know.” He hated that (Y/N) did that little laugh like she was just so enamored by him when she’s only known him for three seconds. 

“Did you see her? Was I supposed to just let a woman like that walk by and say nothing? I don’t know how you do it.” He shook his head in disbelief, taking a long sip of his beer before leaning to place it on the coffee table in front of him. “You should loosen up. She’s cute.” 

“She just lives here. And she’s annoying. Nothing cute about it.” Harry noticed that she was dressed up, sure. But all he did was notice. He didn’t admire, he didn’t stare for too long. He just looked. And now AJ is blowing it all out of proportion just to grate on his nerves like he loves to do any chance he can get. 

“Send her my way then. Her hands are so soft, I didn’t want to let go.” 

“Can we just watch the game? Or talk about something else?” He didn’t need to hear his friend gushing over (Y/N). It was like two distant aspects of his life collided and made things weird. He wanted to keep all of that separate, but AJ insisted on coming over to watch the game and drink all his beer. 

“But did you feel her hands? They’re like, so moisturized. I wonder what she uses. And she smells good too. Harry, you’re in so much trouble.” He laughed, but Harry didn’t know what he meant by that. (Y/N) was just a roommate for now. She would be moved out by the end of the year and they’d never think about each other again. Or maybe she would think about him since her journal says as much, but he wouldn’t give her a second thought in the next year. 

“I don’t know what you mean, but it’s not happening.” He wanted to tell AJ about the journal but he would give him so much shit for doing something like that, it’s not worth sharing it. Even if it’s weighing on him in the most unexpected of ways. 

“Let me ask you something.”

“Nope.” He grabbed the remote and started turning the volume up. AJ wouldn’t drop this until he asked all his questions but Harry could try to delay it. 

“Alright, you dick. It’s just one question, I swear.” It was a trap. Because he’d ask a question just to think of five more and it would never end until he was satisfied with the answers he was getting. 

“I’m good.” 

“No, seriously! It’s valid, listen to me!” 

“I’m not interested and never will be in anyone, ever again. Does that answer all your little questions?” He went back to his beer. He’d have to get another one soon if he wanted to be able to put up with AJ because he wasn’t going to let any part of it go. 

“You know she would want you to. It’s been five years.” And AJ has been full of hard truths ever since then. But it still wasn’t something he was ready to face, no matter how much time passed. 

“Maybe. But I’m not ready to do anything like that yet.” He didn’t actually foresee that he would ever be ready. And that was fine. He didn’t mind holding the space in his heart for someone that he would never see again. 

“Fair.” AJ shrugged. “So, you’ll let me call dibs?” 

“I’m about to put you out if you keep talking about her like that.” He said, more pointedly than he intended to. 

“Wait, so you’re calling dibs? I need you to be more clear on this right now.” He grinned widely, leaning closer as if he was hanging off his every word. But he was really only trying to annoy him. 

“You’re acting like someone that wants to get sent home early.” 

“And you’re acting like someone who wants to call dibs on his roommate.” 

“AJ. Please.” He hasn’t so much as looked at or considered anyone since Rina. Because it just felt wrong. And AJ is well aware, he just likes to tease. A little teasing is good for him though, so he doesn’t get too upset about it because he knows the place he’s coming from. 

AJ had spent countless hours on the phone at night with Harry, just because he needed someone to talk to, someone to tell everything he was thinking so he could get it out of his head. But the grief was still heavy on his shoulders, despite it all. And Harry just doesn’t think trying to find someone else will give him any relief. It’ll only feel like he’s trying to replace something irreplaceable. 

“I do think that I have some…mild effect on her. But that’s all I’m willing to say and it means nothing to me.” That’s all he could say. He’d probably tell (Y/N) he read her journal if he said anything more. And she’d give him so much hell. 

“Come on! How can you say that and then not explain? You’re so fucked up for that.” He shoved his shoulder once. And then one more time when he shook his head at him. 

“I just know. Drop it.” He knew mentioning it and then not elaborating would piss him off, but he has to get him back somehow. 

“I’m staying until she gets back because I have to tell her how pretty she is again. You’re clearly not doing it.” He rolled his eyes before standing and walking off to the kitchen, probably to get another beer. 

(Y/N) did get home close to midnight. The lock rattled before she came pushing her way inside, still laughing from whatever had been going on outside. 

She froze when she saw both of them looking at her from the couch again. And then she waved at AJ before walking to the kitchen to hang her keys back up. 

“Hi again, (Y/N).” 

“Hi AJ.” Her bright smile made Harry feel sick to his stomach. He hadn’t seen it in a while and he can only assume it’s because of him. But it’s nothing he feels he should fret over. He can’t be responsible for her mood, just because he put down a boundary. Not in the nicest way, but he didn’t know how else to say it. No one had asked in a long time. 

“Come sit for a little bit. We’re not doing anything.” AJ waved her over and her eyes immediately shot to Harry, who kept his expression neutral despite everything in his body telling him to send her off to her room. The only spot on the couch was directly next to him and he didn’t want to give her any reason to be that close to him. 

“Oh, no thanks. I don’t want to intrude. I have an early morning anyway.” 

Harry knew that was a lie because she slept in most Saturdays. Not terribly late, but not as early as she would for work. If she didn’t want to sit next to him on the couch, that was fine. Better for him anyway. She might start thinking he can tolerate her or something and that wouldn’t do. 

“Just for a minute then. Tell us about your night. Did any losers try to buy you drinks?” AJ pressed on. She laughed, nodding and walking until she was at the back of the couch. 

“Of course! As soon as you show your shoulders, people start acting insane.” 

Harry barely heard anything she was saying because he was too busy following the slope of her shoulders and neck. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her shoulders. He also thinks he’s had way too much beer, but he doubts she’ll notice his staring because all her attention is on AJ anyway as they laugh together and her hand rests on his arm. He switched his gaze to her hand and rolled his eyes. They just met and are fast friends somehow. He doesn’t get it. He’s pretty sure she’s tipsy at the very least because he’s never seen her so loose. But that’s probably because she doesn’t allow herself to be around him. 

Again, not his issue to care about. 

“My ex saw one of my friends’ stories and he’s been calling me all night.” By the time Harry focused back into the conversation, (Y/N) was right next to him on the couch, close enough for him to be able to smell her perfume. And she did smell good. Objectively. Like, he’s sure anyone would think the scent is decent. It’s probably a very popular perfume and has nothing to do with just her. 

“You want me to call him back? I’ll tell him off for you.” AJ offered and that was when Harry knew he needed to get out of his head and start to intervene. They’re both probably some form of wasted and now doesn’t seem like the best time to do something like that. 

“You’d do that?” She was just about to reach for her phone when Harry snatched it from her lap. 

“That sounds like a terrible idea, (Y/N).” He held the phone out of reach when she turned to pout at him. He got distracted by her glittery eyeshadow for a half second before turning to AJ. “And you stop encouraging her.” 

“What are you, our dad? We’re trying to be messy. Give her the phone.” AJ reached across her lap and tried for the phone, but Harry leaned back, making them all squish together on the couch. 

“She’s going to regret it as soon as she does it. If you both feel the same tomorrow morning, go for it. But right now, no.” It was like babysitting. He put her phone on the coffee table in front of them and gave the two of them a look, as if daring them to reach for it again. 

“He’s so responsible.” (Y/N) sighed, leaning her head back on the couch behind her. 

“No, he’s no fun, is what he is. We could’ve ruined Lucas’s life with one sentence but here comes mister high morals. How boring.” Right as AJ stopped talking, her phone started ringing from the table. (Y/N) and AJ looked at each other before laughing. 

“Please let us answer!” They pretty much said in unison before dying of laughter again and leaning into each other like this was the funniest thing the both of them had ever seen. 

“He’s not going to leave her alone until somebody tells him to, Harry. Just—”

Harry didn’t bother listening to what else he was going to say, he just picked up the phone and put it to his ear. 

“Who the fuck is this?” 

“Who the fuck is this?” 

“I asked first.” Harry glanced at AJ and (Y/N) seeing their mouths dropped in shock. He rolled his eyes. 

“Where’s (Y/N)?” 

“Busy. Can I help you with something?” It’s not like Harry knew anything about (Y/N), but he did know that he didn’t like Lucas. And there was no real reason why, he just doesn’t. 

“Yeah. Give my girlfriend her phone back.” Lucas might be the same amount of tipsy as (Y/N). Maybe a little worse if he’s calling her his girlfriend. 

“Don’t call this number again. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. Goodbye.” He thought of going into more detail to really piss him off, but again, he doesn’t know him and it’s not his job to tell off people for (Y/N). So he stopped there, not wanting to cause an issue for her if he did go further. He placed the phone back in her lap and shifted to stand. “Should probably just block him. No reason to not if you don’t want him to call you.” And then he left them, seemingly dumbfounded on the couch, to go into the kitchen. 

There was nothing in particular that he went in for, he just wanted to get away from their staring for a minute. Perhaps that was out of character, but if it got them to stop behaving that way, he’d do it again in a heartbeat. 

He came back to the couch with every intention of tossing a blanket over AJ, because he wasn’t going anywhere in that state, and making his way to his bedroom. 

But there sat (Y/N). Half asleep next to AJ who looked to be fully asleep just in the few moments he’s been in the kitchen. She looked tired, but not willing to move from her spot yet. 

And Harry doesn’t know why he does it, but he sits himself right back down next to her in the most casual way he can manage. 

“Thank you for that.” Her voice was soft and sleepy and her head had lolled to the side to look at him. Though he wasn’t planning on looking back because she’d catch him with those eyes.

“It’s nothing.” He muttered, keeping his focus on the tv. It was the post-game review, so nothing too exciting but it was better than looking at her. 

“No, really. You didn’t have to.” Her body faced him further and he hurried to change the subject. He didn’t need her to get sappy. This wasn’t going to be one of those moments. 

“How was your night out?” It was the first thing that came to mind. She was probably just drunk enough to ramble on about her night until she dozed off, so it was the perfect question to get her talking. 

“Oh.” Surprise was evident in her voice, but he expected it to be. “It was good. Nice to see all my friends again.” 

“Hm.” 

“And you had fun here? AJ is super nice.” 

“Is he? Rather irritating to me if I’m honest.” Harry was talking too much. It’s the beer. Because he’d be in bed by now, not caring how her night went or how pretty her smile was at this time of night. He’s never drinking again. 

“That’s just because he’s your friend. He’s allowed to be.” She yawned through the second half of her sentence and then her eyes fluttered closed. 

“Why’s that guy bothering you?” He didn’t mean to pry, but his short intrusion into her journal didn’t really give him any details. And while he can’t exactly ask about the other thing, he’ll handle that later, he can try to fill in the gaps by asking about Lucas. 

“He’s mad I moved out.” She shrugged, opening her eyes for a second before closing them again. “We broke up, I said I was moving out and I guess he didn’t believe me until I started packing my bags. Then he got a little…much.” 

“What’s that mean?” 

“Just…clingy. He never did that while we were together but as soon as I made a move to leave, it was like he all of a sudden wanted me again when it never felt that way when we were together.” She sighed, turning to meet his gaze. “He didn’t care about me. I only moved in because I had nowhere else to go.” 

Harry didn’t know what to say. He hoped she was drunk enough that she didn’t notice his lack of people skills. Should he comfort her? Tell her Lucas wasn’t shit anyway? He doesn’t know. So he says nothing and just nods, turning back to the tv. 

“Think you made the right decision then.” That came out of nowhere. He wasn’t planning on speaking again, much less saying something like that. She didn’t really respond, she just hummed, shutting her eyes again. “Why don’t you go up to bed?” AJ would probably wake at an ungodly hour despite the time right now, so she’d probably want to be in her own bed. 

“You’re right. I’ll do that.” She trailed off, breathing slowing, and her body sinking further into the couch beneath her. 

There was nothing for him to do now. She’s asleep and in her clothes from her night out. But it wasn’t something he felt like volunteering himself for. 

“Goodnight.” He said, though she couldn’t hear him. 

He left her and AJ on the couch, the tv still running on a low volume and he didn’t really feel the need to, but he tossed a blanket over (Y/N). Then, he fixed the corners, making sure it was up to her shoulders and she didn’t move, clearly exhausted from her night out. 

And then Harry went to bed. 

*****

(Y/N) thinks Harry is making a pie in the kitchen. 

She hasn’t disturbed him, just because he’ll probably stop immediately and go lock himself in his room. But she does peek down the stairs and stretch as far as can just to catch a glimpse of him without him catching her. 

They haven’t spoken about the other night and nearly a week has passed since she woke up on the couch to AJ making a smoothie in the kitchen with the blender on the highest setting possible. 

He did apologize and offered her half of his green smoothie that tasted much better than she thought it would and then Harry made an appearance, complaining about the blender going at nine in the morning. 

He kept his distance and didn’t seem like he even noticed her standing there. He was in and out, breezing through the kitchen to slice an apple and smear some peanut butter on his plate before disappearing. 

AJ left not long after that and the house was silent for the rest of the day. 

(Y/N) was light on Harry for the past week. She didn’t want to push his nerves too much when he’d been decent to her when she came home drunk and sleepy and he even told off Lucas for her. 

But her kindness has officially expired and she’s ready to bother him again. 

She crept down the stairs and he clearly hadn’t heard her coming because he was humming, humming with his back to her. She had to cover her mouth so she didn’t make any noise. 

“Smells good.” She plopped on the counter next him and he jumped, cursing under his breath as soon as he caught sight of her. “What is it?” She leaned over, inspecting what he’d been putting so much attention into. 

“What does it look like?” 

“A pie?” She squinted at him and then glanced back down to see the layered apples smothered in brown sugar, all arranged neatly down into a pie crust. 

“Dutch apple.” He reached for the bowl next to him and she gasped. He’s putting a crumble on top that looks so delicious she might have to steal a slice when he goes to sleep. He’ll probably punish her for her questioning by withholding the pie. 

“That looks nice.” She sent him a smile that he didn’t return before he started filling in the rest of the pie crust with the crumble. She tried to not stare so longingly at it but if he doesn’t share that would be a crime. “So how was your day?” 

(Y/N) wasn’t softening him up or anything. She genuinely just wanted to know. If she could get more than two words out of him, even if it was mundane, she’d still listen on the edge of her seat. 

“What are you doing?” He stopped, setting the bowl aside and turning to her with a cold look. 

“Nothing. What are you doing?” She leaned back a fraction but got comfortable on the countertop, letting him know she wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do but…I’m not interested.” That almost looked like the last thing he wanted to say but she didn’t understand why. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I’m not interested.” 

“Yeah, I got that. But not interested in what?” 

“You.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes, I’m not looking for anything like that right now.” 

Both of (Y/N)’s hands covered her mouth and she really, really did try to not start laughing but it was almost impossible when he looked so serious with a dusting of flour on his cheek. 

“Harry…that’s not…” 

“I just don’t think it would be a good idea.” 

(Y/N) wants to tell him that he can stop with the soft rejection but she kind of wants to hear what he has to say. 

“And where is this coming from exactly?” She interrupted him. 

“Nowhere. I got a feeling that you…” He trailed off there, as if he didn’t know where to go with it. 

“That I what?” 

“Like…you like…I don’t know, okay? Stop looking at me like that.” 

(Y/N) can swear she sees a tint of pink on his cheeks but she can’t be sure. It might just be the heat from the stove next to him. 

“Well, explain. Communicate. You’re acting funny and I don’t like it.” She crossed her arms, almost like she was scolding him. He’s wearing an apron covered in a variety of pies but she can’t focus on that because she has to get to the bottom of this first. 

“I just don’t want you getting any ideas.” 

“Ideas?” Her tone was incredulous. If only she knew a lick of what he was talking about. 

“Yeah, like…” His face went pink again. “I saw something.” He winced, like it hurt to even say it. 

“And?” She waved her hand for him to continue. 

“In your journal.” His shoulders slumped like he was ashamed of himself. (Y/N) covered her mouth again while he stared at the floor, seemingly torn up about the situation. 

“My journal?” She asked for clarification. “I know you read my journal, Harry.” She actually didn’t know if he did or not, but when she picked it up from the couch the other day, he looked so guilty it almost made her ask if he was alright. So, she concluded that he was being nosy. 

“How could you possibly know that?” His face scrunched, despite just admitting to snooping through her diary. She’s definitely not telling him about the flour now. 

“There was a page creased. I’d never leave it like that. And I wasn’t going to say anything but you brought it up.” She put her hands up and shook her head. “What did you see that has you blushing so bad?” 

“I’m not blushing.” His face went back to neutral. The furrow left his brow and he just stared deadpan at her. “I don’t blush.” 

“If that’s what you’re going with, sure.” She couldn’t help grinning. Catching Harry like this has got to be the most fun she’s had since she moved in. “Now, spill.” 

“I don’t know. I didn’t get to read much. Just something about…tattoos or I don’t know! I don’t know what I saw but I don’t want anything to do with it, alright? Keep it to yourself.” He busied his hands with scooping more crumble on the pie and then slipping it in the oven all in one swoop before turning to her. “You look like you want to say something.” 

“Perhaps I do.” She shrugged. “I kind of like this panicked look on you. It’s funny. Let me show you something.” 

She hopped down from the counter and went to get her journal. She wanted to embarrass him a little further. She wanted to make him read it. Since he wanted to read it so badly before. 

Harry was sitting at the kitchen table when she made it back, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s probably rethinking saying anything at all. 

“I don’t need to see it.” He murmured, not looking up from his lap. 

“I think you do. Here.” She had the book opened to the page she thinks he had it on and handed it to him when he sat up. “Read.” He sighed, taking it from her hands. 

“Joseph from work looked at me again. He’s so dreamy and every time he comes around I don’t remember how to function. He’s cute enough. I think he just wants to—do I have to?” His head fell back and he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Yes. You have to.” She was well aware of what it said, she just wanted to hear him say it and potentially get to see him look a little silly over the whole thing. She didn’t really care that he saw it. She never writes anything in there that anyone could use against her. And she definitely won’t be doing it now either. 

“I think he just wants to sleep with me and that’s fine. I’d sleep with him just to say I had the chance. His eyes, his hair, his hands, his tattoos, I’m sure he’ll show me a good time.” He shut the book and slid it across the table across from him. 

“So?” He didn’t move right away. He took a few deep breaths before looking up at her. 

“Sorry.” 

And then (Y/N) allowed herself to laugh at him. He didn’t seem pleased by it but he deserved to be made fun of a little bit. After all that. 

She was out of breath with tears nearly leaving her eyes by the time she finished laughing. 

“That’s so funny.” She wiped her eye and reached for the journal. “And just so you know, Harry. You’re not my type.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His arms crossed. 

“I’m not interested is what it means.” 

“And why not?” 

“First off, you just said you weren’t interested and I’m not in the mood for another man to ruin my life right now.” It was a valid answer. Lucas had done a number. She’s not looking for anything either and she’s almost glad they got to have this conversation so she can say it out loud and someone besides Raven can hold her accountable. 

“Fair. Alright. It’s settled.” Harry did look like he had a million more questions but he didn’t bother asking any of them. 

“That’s a nice apron.” She changed the subject and tried to keep all humor out of her voice but it was hard. A man like him wearing an apron in the first place was a little much. Probably not in the way he was thinking. 

“Hush.” 

“I’ll be back when the pie’s ready!” She took her journal and made a dash for the stairs, figuring she’s messed with him enough for now. She would be back for the pie though. 

*****

(Y/N) woke up to thunder rattling the windows. 

It made her jump right out of her sleep and sit up before she saw lightning flashing outside. She took a deep breath and checked her phone to see the time. Just after two am. 

She tossed and turned in bed for longer than she would’ve liked to. She just couldn’t settle enough to fall back asleep. 

She had work in the morning so now wasn’t the best time for tea but she didn’t think she would be able to go back to sleep until she had it, like normal. She wasn’t sure what it was about the tea that always put her back to sleep but as long as it worked, she’d keep doing it. 

The living room was dark. She was on her way to the kitchen when she heard music. It wasn’t loud but she didn’t know where it was coming from at first. It was a familiar tune but that didn’t matter much when she had no idea why it was playing at this hour. 

She walked down the hall, to Harry’s room. She could see the glow of the lamp in his room before she turned the corner to actually see inside. 

He’s in the same position as last time. Head in his hands, breathing deeply. And she hates to disturb him when he seems like he’s in the middle of something, but maybe the distraction helps. She’s not sure but she wants to try. 

“Harry?” 

He barely flinched. He didn’t shy away or try to pretend he’s not doing well. He didn’t move his face from his hands or move at all really.

“Can I do anything?” She toed the entrance to his room, not yet knowing how he was going to react to her presence. He could completely lash out and send her away which she was almost expecting but he didn’t answer. She’s not even sure he can hear her. 

She walks in just far enough to rub over his shoulder. He pulled away, eyes hurrying to meet hers and she noticed his cheeks are tearstained and (Y/N) just doesn’t know if she can stand here and do nothing. 

“What do you need? What helps?” 

“I don’t know. Nothing. Nothing helps.” He’s trembling under her hand. And she has many more questions but right now she thinks it’s the rain. He doesn’t like rain. She doesn’t know why and now isn’t the time to ask so she runs her hand across his shoulders again. 

“Does the music help?” 

“No.” His voice broke slightly and he leaned back into his hands, breathing shakily. She stepped away for just a second to grab his phone that was playing the music. She paused it and set it aside before sitting next to him on the bed and saying nothing. Maybe he just wanted someone to be there. She knows he hates questions so she’s not going to ask any personal ones while he’s vulnerable. She can just sit here and be with him until he tells her to leave. “When’s it over?” 

“I don’t know. I can check.” 

“No. Don’t move.” 

“I’m not going anywhere. Promise.” She gently squeezed his wrist. His hands were still over his face but he didn’t say anything. “Is gray your favorite color?” Maybe talking helped. He’d certainly tell her if it didn’t. Everything in his room was gray or a dark shade, so she had to assume it was. 

“No.” 

“Then why’s your room gray?” 

“Everything feels gray.” He said, pressing his hands further to his face. She held on tighter to his wrist, gently running her thumb over it. This wasn’t the best subject then. She could try again. 

“Lucas hasn’t called me back since.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Good job. Raven’s not scary enough anymore. He probably really wasn’t expecting the call to be answered. By you especially.” She laughed lightly, recalling the whole thing even though she was a little out of it. “You could’ve been a little meaner.” 

It was still raining heavily, but the thunder had calmed a lot. Harry seemed to relax more after that, but he still had his face hidden away. 

“Do you want tea? I was going to make some.” She finally let go of his wrist, not wanting to push her luck too much by touching him for that long. 

“No sugar this time, please.” 

She couldn’t help her smile. Maybe he’s lightening up. Or maybe he just appreciates her sitting with him while he’s obviously not feeling well. But she doesn’t ask before making her way to the kitchen and filling the kettle. 

When she returned with two full mugs, he was sitting up, face clear like he hadn’t been upset at all, but still set in a deep frown.  She held out the mug for him and he took it silently and set it aside on the nightstand next to him. 

“You can go now.” 

“Oh.” She thought he’d give her a few more minutes to sit next to him but apparently her time has been cut short. “Are you sure?” 

“More than.” His answer was firm, like he wasn’t on the edge of some sort of anxiety attack two minutes ago. But she didn’t question it. 

“Okay. Yeah. Get some sleep.” She lingered for a second before hurrying out of his room just like he wanted her to. 

Harry didn’t sleep until the rain stopped and the cloudy sky revealed the sun. The tea got cold next to him but he couldn’t make himself drink it. 

No one has ever seen him like that outside of AJ. Maybe not even him. He’s only ever been on the phone with him during something like that. 

But (Y/N) sat there and didn’t ask anything. And he knew she wanted to. He doesn’t want to give her too much credit but it didn’t bother him. Her sitting there with him. The last thing he expected was her to come downstairs in the middle of the night. He hates to say it, but that one wasn’t as bad as all the other ones. 

Whenever it rains, storms specifically, Harry can only fold into himself and let all the horrible what ifs fill his brain that he can normally choke down on a normal day. Spring time is the hardest. He hates spring. 

Harry never tries to make himself feel better. He only reminds himself of how she must have felt. And how it’s all his fault. He tries to breathe but that’s it. When it’s really bad he’ll try to play music, but that never works. He’s never had another person next to him, actively trying to make him feel better. 

And he hated it. Hated that she saw him like that and hated how he only filled her with more questions when he doesn’t want to have to answer any of them. 

In turn, this has Harry’s mind racing with thoughts of (Y/N). He doesn’t want to think about her. He doesn’t want to see her in the kitchen making herself dinner, he doesn’t want to see her on the couch watching whatever reality show she’s into now. He doesn’t like that she’s acting like nothing happened when it feels like there was a shift somewhere. Like he might tell her why he gets that way, to help her understand. But he won’t. It has nothing to do with her and as long as she’s fine with not asking, he supposed he could be fine with it too. Unless she gets bold again but he doesn’t see her trying that anytime soon. 

He can’t stand it though, wondering what she’s thinking all hours of the day. He doesn’t think he’s thought about anyone this much but he knows it comes from a place of anxiety. That’s why the thoughts feel so oppressive and obsessive when all he really wants to do is erase the image of him from her mind. 

(Y/N) won’t even look at him as she passes through the living room and he’s right there. She doesn’t say a word, doesn’t look at him weird, nothing. He almost wished she joked with him again or asked her dumb questions like what his favorite pie is. Just to lift the tension he feels whenever he gets near the house. 

If she won’t acknowledge it, fine. He could do that too and it’s probably better for their situation anyway. There didn’t need to be any closeness. There was no reason for there to be. 

On the other hand…he thinks his mind might be playing tricks on him. Skewing his view of her, cutting her some slack. She’s not all bad. She does smell good and she’s a considerate roommate, but that’s where it stops. Everything else…well. He doesn’t know. 

And not that he’s giving her a compliment but he likes seeing her work outfits. It’s strange but it’s never going to be something that anyone else knows but he’d die for the pinstriped pants she wears weekly. They fit well. But that’s it. 

Her hair is decent in a claw clip. It’s pulled back from her face and everything about her looks softer. But he barely sees her like that so it doesn’t matter. 

The lasagna. She made it again and against every fiber of his being he told her he was good just to be an ass. She didn’t seem discouraged, she just looked happy to have a whole pan of leftovers. And that about killed him because that lasagna was unlike anything he’s ever had. 

He secretly tried to recreate it but there’s something she does that he doesn’t and it ruins the dish entirely without it.

None of that really matters when he got matched on a website with the last person he ever thought he would. Living with her. Not a totally bad thing but different. Familiar in a way but not so that it affected much. He just didn’t like what his mind did when he let it wander too far. 

Things like how she left hair ties everywhere, the house always smelled good no matter what, always tidy. Her trinkets that littered the house alone let any guest know there was a feminine touch to it. He didn’t know how to explain it. 

But all she’s done since she moved in is make him look like a fool. Borderline yelling at her over a simple question. Reading her journal like an idiot, as if she wouldn’t notice. Accusing her of crushing on him when she made it very clear that was never happening. 

And he doesn’t know why but that bit irks him more than it should. Harry is pretty sure he’s everyone’s type. So maybe she’s just saying that. That’s what he’s telling himself anyway. 

Of course, she had to wake up in the dead of night and catch him in the middle of a breakdown. He wished he could stop it and be normal about the rain but there’s a large part of him that doesn’t want to offer himself the grace to. He could deal with the suffering. It helped with the bone-crushing guilt he felt whenever one drop of rain tapped the window. 

It was a process, a journey. At least that’s what the grief counselor said before he stopped going only a month after it happened. It didn't help. How could it when he knew there was nothing he could do to change things. He wasn’t hopeful, he wasn’t optimistic. That had been flushed out as soon as he got that phone call. 

Harry doesn’t like to think about it but sometimes his mind makes him anyway. No matter how hard he tries not to. And it’s something he’s nowhere near ready to discuss with anyone. Not from the very beginning. He doesn’t think he could bear it. 

He clears those thoughts from his head, wanting to avoid them for as long as possible. Besides, he was sure that (Y/N) would be on her way out sooner than later. Whether it was because of him or because she found a more suitable place to live, he didn’t care. 

*****

(Y/N) had a long day at work Friday and when she got home, Harry was locked away in his room and she didn’t see him all night. She didn’t bother him because she wasn’t sure what he was doing but she knew better than to go looking when he seemed so moody recently. 

So, Saturday morning she got out of the house with Raven and they spent most of the day into the afternoon out at the shops, not looking for anything in particular, she just likes to go stare at things with no real intention to buy them. It’s just to pass time mainly. 

Of course, Raven had to bring up Harry because she still had yet to meet him face to face and she’s too curious for her own good. 

“Wait. You guys don’t even eat dinner together?” 

They just made it back to the car from the cafe they stopped at to get a late afternoon drink. She got some kind of refresher that was good enough to keep her mouth busy so she didn’t talk too much about Harry. Because he wasn’t really a topic she thought she should discuss when she didn’t know a lot about him. And because she fears if she talks about him too much, it might turn into something else. 

“Well. No. We’re just on two different schedules.” She shrugged, bringing the straw back to her mouth, playing casual. 

“You make two separate meals? When you live together?” Raven was looking at her like the idea of that was so insane when it didn’t really feel like such a big deal. They liked different things, they ate at different times. They didn’t have to spend a lot of time together just because they live in the same house. 

“I mean, yeah. He did share his pie with me though. That was nice of him.” And it was even better warm. He didn’t necessarily call her down when it was done, but he pretty much did by making a lot of noise with the foil and rifling through the kitchen drawer for the ice cream scoop. Because he had vanilla ice cream to go with the pie. And (Y/N) had to take hers to go because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to act normal around him after she ate the pie. It was delicious. And she also didn’t think she’d be able to keep a straight face if she had eaten it in front of him. His ego would just soar and she didn’t want to feed into that.

“Sure. It’s just…strange. You’d think after almost six months of knowing each other you’d be a little closer or something.” Raven shrugged but dropped the subject. 

The drive home was short. (Y/N) was thankful because she was getting tired from being out all day. She was ready to be home in comfortable clothes and lounge around for the rest of the day before dinner. Maybe she’d make something for both of them. Or maybe she could ask him what he wanted, even if she had to force it out of him so she’d know what kind of dish he likes. Depending on his mood when she got home, it might not be worth it. 

Raven parked at the curb and shoved (Y/N)’s shoulder. 

“You make him cut the grass?”

“I—what?” She turned her gaze out the window and there Harry was. No shirt, a ridiculously short pair of running shorts, mowing the lawn that she didn’t even think was long enough to cut. It’s still so early in the year. “No…I don’t. That’s…I hadn’t even thought about the yard.” 

(Y/N) didn’t mean to stare but she doesn’t think he would mind it either. She couldn’t even form any kind of sentence in her head because her and Raven were too busy watching Harry walk the yard with the mower. It was a mundane task, sure, but he didn’t have to look so good doing it. 

“What do I do?” (Y/N) turned to Raven in a panic. She’d have to pass him on the walk up. And that was fine but she doesn’t think she’s been near Harry with no shirt and a little sweaty. He had to have been doing this on purpose or something. It’s just not fair. 

“Well, you have to go in so just go.” Raven still had her gaze on Harry as she spoke but then she looked at her again. “You are so fucked. It’s a miracle that you haven’t done anything about that yet. I’m serious. I don’t think I’d survive.” 

“Do anything about what?” 

“That!” She pointed and (Y/N) smacked her wrist away so he wouldn’t see her very obvious pointing. 

“We’ve already had that conversation. Not happening.” (Y/N) went back to sipping her drink but she took advantage of the view this time. She doesn’t know when Harry finds the time to make himself look like that but goodness. That must take a lot of effort. 

“Not even just to…do it?” 

“Raven, no. It’s not like that.” She laughed it off. Based on what she’s seeing now, that might not be so true anymore. 

“Sure. Okay, get out and walk past him then. Make sure you say hi.” Then Raven laughed and waved her out of the car. 

“Fine, I’m going. See you later.” She had to grab the one shopping bag she had in the backseat and then she waved to Raven before making her way up the walk way. (Y/N) wasn’t going to look but Harry stopped the mower when she walked by him. 

He didn’t say anything, he just kind of stared and that only made her walk faster up the steps and inside. 

Her phone buzzed when she made it to the kitchen and she didn’t want to check because she already knew what it was. 

I think he was looking at your ass 

She huffed, rolling her eyes. She wanted to type back but she didn’t even know what to say to Raven. But she doubts that he was actually doing that. 

Make him some lemonade. He’s working hard out here

And then tons of laughing emojis after it. She sent a message back, not really acknowledging that part but just telling her she’d see her later. 

It did get her thinking. What if she did make him lemonade? 

He didn’t have to take care of the yard. They never really discussed it. It hadn’t been time for that type of work until now but she wasn’t expecting to come home to that. She didn’t even know they had a lawnmower.

They did have quite a few lemons lying around…

(Y/N) doesn’t know what’s gotten into her, but before long, because it really didn’t take more than two seconds, she swears, she was filling a fresh glass of ice with the lemonade she made from scratch. She really had to get a hold on herself before she went out there because she doesn’t want to be shaking from nervousness over a glass of lemonade. It’s not a big deal. He’s probably thirsty. 

He was further down the yard by the time she made it to the front porch. She rolled her eyes at herself before hurrying down the walkway. The thought of turning around felt more and more like it was going to end up happening just at the sight of his back alone. The muscle. The sweat. What on earth was she thinking? Coming out here with a glass of lemonade. He turned before she could make a break for inside. 

He stopped the mower and looked her over. 

“Yeah?” 

“I just got home.” She panicked and said that instead of saying anything about the freezing glass in her hand. 

“I saw.” He took another step away from the mower, closer to her, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. She’s pretty sure he does. “What’s wrong?” 

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong.” Waving him off, she held the glass between them. “I made some lemonade.” He looked down at the glass and then back up to her. 

“For me?” 

“Well, no. Not for just you. I was going to have some too. So, like, for both of us.” (Y/N) figured she should shut up. But she can’t be blamed for it. He’s standing too close. She can see every line, every freckle, his skin is practically glowing in the sun. It’s not fair. No part of it. She should actually be impressed by herself for halfway keeping her composure. 

“Okay.” He took the glass from her hand and obviously, he’s not giving her any bit of a break because he went right to downing the lemonade, right in front of her. And (Y/N) had to put great effort into keeping her jaw up because he really must have been thirsty. Thirsty enough to not care that he was spilling down the front of his chest. She’s glad he’s not looking directly at her right now because she’s just watching the lemonade run down the middle of his chest and then go down, down, down—

He handed her back the glass when it was just ice and licked his lips. 

“Got more?” 

“Plenty.” 

“‘Kay. I’ll be here.” 

(Y/N) went inside, refilled his glass, and watched the scene over again trying not to stare so hard. She even brought him a damp towel to wipe down his chest and he squinted at her. 

“You saying I’m messy?” 

(Y/N) almost dropped to the floor. He’s teasing. 

“No, no. I just thought you’d be…sticky.” He’s only doing it because he knows she can barely look him in the eye. She really has to do some damage control and start annoying him again. He probably thinks he’s got the upperhand. And she’s got enough sense to say that he does. In this particular moment at least. 

“See you inside.” She didn’t mention dinner. This might be a big enough step for today. 

“See you inside.” 

She turned and started for the door. 

“Nice skirt.” 

The only thing keeping (Y/N) upright was pretending that wasn’t anything other than a throwaway comment. She only nodded over her shoulder at him in acknowledgement, but kept walking. She pretended all the way inside, to the kitchen to put the glass in the sink, and up to her bedroom. As soon as she shut the door, she had to sit on her bed and take a deep breath. 

It’s all so confusing and she doesn’t understand a bit of it, but she’s only going to dwell on it for a second because there’s a million reasons why she shouldn’t let any of that get to her. 

Just for a moment did she allow herself to slip and think things that wouldn’t mean anything in a matter of minutes.

But she did pull her journal from under her pillow and grab a pen to write down two words and two words only.

Nice skirt.

*****

I know y’all know what pic i got inspo from 😁 i searched my camera roll for centuries but i did find it finally lmao. again, sorry for being late, i hope you liked this one!!!

**** a lot of your tags didn’t work idk what happened lmk!!****

tags: @c0mfortablesilences @brisworld12 @whateverali28 @thisandsomehole @loverofhsandallthings1d @sarahs-house @taraijbharper @bucketofsalmon @alaskansky007 @toosarcastic03 @outofthisworl-d @everyscarisahealingplace @forgetdelaney @laceystyles @dxnycast @stylesftcher @slutstachrry @angeldavis777 @caynonmoondreams @mema10 @in-omn1a-paratus @esposa-do-harry @harrystyleshotwife @pleasantearthquakecowboy @rhiannonworld24 @superbnightlove @caitrose88 @unabashegirl @harrystylesconcepts @sassamanda77 @witch-rry @triski73 @run-for-the-hills @contra-mondu @the-madness-underneath-the-stars @prettyboyrry @sstylezzz @ashwasneverhere @dontforgtme @wastefulangel @spinninc @shimmerygloss

[monicaalexandraaa]

THIS STORY HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD AND I NEED EVERYONE TO READ IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🚨🚨🚨

Harry doesn’t think he’s heard (Y/N) say a word in three days. 

OH GOSHHHHHH I WONDER WHY PIE MAKER👹

But that was fine. He was free from her incessant questions and he thinks she might have finally learned to leave him be. He doesn’t see her, he doesn’t hear her, and somehow she moves around without him running into him. 

Already pissing me off✋✋✋

Omggggg he finds the journal👀👀👀

He went to put it back where he found it, but paused. 

The shower was still running, she’d probably be in there for another ten minutes. Maybe he had some time. 

THIS MOTHERFUCKING PIE MAKER IS REALLY GOING TO HAVE THE UTMOST AUDACITY TO READ THROUGH HER JOURNAL AFTER THE STUNT HE JUST PULLED SHAWTY YOU HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MIND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH I COULD SLAP HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He wouldn’t want anyone to do it to him, but he flicked open the first page and skimmed, checking over his shoulder once, seeing the top of the stairs still clear. And he doesn't know why, other than that he's curious. Because why would he have a normal conversation with her when he can just read her innermost thoughts in her journal? 

OH OKAY PHEW BECAUSE YOU’’RE CURIOUS THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER YES PLEASE GO AHEAD AND READ ABOUT SOMEONE ELSES BUSINESS SOMEONE WHO YOU JUST FLIPPED ABSOLUTE SHIT ON FOR BEING CURIOUS AS WELL 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

THE PRETTY BORING I WILL KILL HIM ! THROW HIM IN THE OVEN WITH THE FUCKING PIES !

He flips to the most recent entry which is about halfway into the book. The water shut off, but he tries to hurry, skimming over the page as fast as possible until he lands on something that catches his eye. 

He’s so dreamy and every time he comes around I don’t remember how to function.

His eyes, his hair, his hands, his tattoo—

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ?!?!!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW PIE MAKER ??!?!??!!

BYE HE DOESN’T EVEN CLOCK THAT IT’S ABOUT HIM AHSHSHSHSGSHSHSHDJJD YEAH STICK TO PIES I GUESS

He glanced at the clock on the wall to his right seeing that it was close to six, right before the weather report normally came on. He switched channels and tried to relax. More rain was coming because of course it would be, it's the time of year for it. It still doesn't make him any less restless when he tries to prepare himself for it.

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs annoying ass😤

(Y/N) came down the steps only seconds later, hair wet, a tee shirt over her now, along with a pair of pajama pants. She didn't even look at him, she just reached right beside him for the journal under the throw pillow, and then walked directly back up the stairs and into her room. 

PERIOD ! Don’t even give him the time of day !

Oh and now the gears are turning would you look at that !!!!!

The way he feels that his tattoos are the only thing that gives him personality is a little🥺but also yeah when you be acting like that I guess you’re right😤

Even if it's not about him, he should make himself clear anyway. He's not interested. And if that was about someone else, so be it. At least he let her know that this isn't going to happen. It's not the first time he's had to shut someone down. It's better to get it over with as soon as possible. 

Why you always lyinnnnnnnnnnn

The pie shop has exposed him to all kinds of people. And he's not so naive to think that no one would ever want anything to do with him again. He's aware of how he's perceived by others. There's nothing cocky about it, it's just facts. 

I hate when men are right but I especially hate when this pie maker is right😩😫🫩

Honestly I hope it’s not about him and his pie lookin ass !!!!!!!!!

It’s honestly hilarious the way he’s acting when she’s just minding her business.

Since that’s never going to happen, she figures she can cause a little trouble for him. 

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH JK MAYBE NOT AND THANK FUCK FOR THAT !!!!!!!!!

She won’t ask about the picture again. Goodness, she doesn’t think she’ll ever get the courage to do that again, but she can annoy the ever loving shit out of him. To the point where he has to acknowledge her. It’s one of her favorite things to do. 

MY GIIIIIRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLL🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️

That will have to wait though. She’s going out tonight. 

PERIOD

Oh but who is this visitor ??????

The way this is how she finds out they can have people over😭😭😭😭

She started down the steps and ignored the way Harry turned almost immediately at the sound of her footsteps. But she didn’t look up from her feet until she was at the bottom. She’s probably dressed nicer than he’s ever seen her, maybe that’s why he’s looking at her with such disdain. It was only jeans and a sparkly top that tied behind her neck, showing off her shoulders and back, but he’s probably used to seeing her in sweatpants. 
GAG HIM BABE DRAG HIMMMMMMM WITH YOUR HOT SELF🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️

The way she doesn’t say a word haaaaaaa !!!!!

“Harry, you didn’t tell me you lived with a supermodel.” Harry’s friend spoke up when she paused to text Raven back, telling her she’d just be a minute. 

EXAAAAAACCTTTTTTLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!

“I don’t.” Harry muttered, not taking his gaze away from her as he sipped from the beer in his hand. 

“AJ. Harry has told me nothing about you. Where are you off to? Is it more fun than this?” He nodded toward the tv and Harry. She didn’t want to laugh but she couldn’t help it. 

“Anything would be.” She saw his eyes roll. “Just out. My friends are picking me up.” 

OHHHHHH let me get some popcorn🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🍿🍿

“Oh, nice. Well, I won’t keep you, but if you're looking for a new roommate in the near future, I’ll have a vacancy soon.” He winked, pulling another laugh from her, and dropping her hand. 

Where do we sign 🖊️🖊️🖊️

“You didn’t have to say a word to her, you know.” He hated that (Y/N) did that little laugh like she was just so enamored by him when she’s only known him for three seconds. 

OH YOU HATED IT !!!!!!!!! NOW ISN’T THAT JUST SOMETHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Did you see her? Was I supposed to just let a woman like that walk by and say nothing? I don’t know how you do it.” He shook his head in disbelief, taking a long sip of his beer before leaning to place it on the coffee table in front of him. “You should loosen up. She’s cute.” 

Finally a male around here with a brain in his head instead of pie😌

“She just lives here. And she’s annoying. Nothing cute about it.” Harry noticed that she was dressed up, sure. But all he did was notice. He didn’t admire, he didn’t stare for too long. He just looked. And now AJ is blowing it all out of proportion just to grate on his nerves like he loves to do any chance he can get. 

You know if I was a betting woman I’d say the person thinking the most about what just happened and the only one who feels it’s been blown out of proportion is him🤭🤭🤭

THE ONLY THING WEIRD HERE IS YOU PIE MAKER

“But did you feel her hands? They’re like, so moisturized. I wonder what she uses. And she smells good too. Harry, you’re in so much trouble.” He laughed, but Harry didn’t know what he meant by that. (Y/N) was just a roommate for now. She would be moved out by the end of the year and they’d never think about each other again. Or maybe she would think about him since her journal says as much, but he wouldn’t give her a second thought in the next year. 

It’s honestly inspiring to be that delusional

“I don’t know what you mean, but it’s not happening.” He wanted to tell AJ about the journal but he would give him so much shit for doing something like that, it’s not worth sharing it. Even if it’s weighing on him in the most unexpected of ways. 

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

“I’m not interested and never will be in anyone, ever again. Does that answer all your little questions?” He went back to his beer. He’d have to get another one soon if he wanted to be able to put up with AJ because he wasn’t going to let any part of it go. 

Okay here we go give me the lore 🤲

“You know she would want you to. It’s been five years.” And AJ has been full of hard truths ever since then. But it still wasn’t something he was ready to face, no matter how much time passed. 

OOP👀👀

“Maybe. But I’m not ready to do anything like that yet.” He didn’t actually foresee that he would ever be ready. And that was fine. He didn’t mind holding the space in his heart for someone that he would never see again. 

Pie maker pls🥺😭go back to being an asshole it’s much easier then facing the facts😩😫

“Fair.” AJ shrugged. “So, you’ll let me call dibs?” 

“I’m about to put you out if you keep talking about her like that.” He said, more pointedly than he intended to. 

This man is the 8th wonder of the world

“Wait, so you’re calling dibs? I need you to be more clear on this right now.” He grinned widely, leaning closer as if he was hanging off his every word. But he was really only trying to annoy him. 

“You’re acting like someone that wants to get sent home early.” 

“And you’re acting like someone who wants to call dibs on his roommate.” 

This dialogue is everythinggggggg !!!!!!!! Thank fuck for AJ🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

“AJ. Please.” He hasn’t so much as looked at or considered anyone since Rina. Because it just felt wrong. And AJ is well aware, he just likes to tease. A little teasing is good for him though, so he doesn’t get too upset about it because he knows the place he’s coming from. 

THE WAY I TWITCHED THE NONCHALANT LORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AJ had spent countless hours on the phone at night with Harry, just because he needed someone to talk to, someone to tell everything he was thinking so he could get it out of his head. But the grief was still heavy on his shoulders, despite it all. And Harry just doesn’t think trying to find someone else will give him any relief. It’ll only feel like he’s trying to replace something irreplaceable. 

REN PLEASE😭✋😭✋😭✋

“I’m staying until she gets back because I have to tell her how pretty she is again. You’re clearly not doing it.” He rolled his eyes before standing and walking off to the kitchen, probably to get another beer. 

AJ you legend

SHE GETS BACK THE WAVE TO AJ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

“Hi AJ.” Her bright smile made Harry feel sick to his stomach. He hadn’t seen it in a while and he can only assume it’s because of him. But it’s nothing he feels he should fret over. He can’t be responsible for her mood, just because he put down a boundary. Not in the nicest way, but he didn’t know how else to say it. No one had asked in a long time. 

This man is EXHAUSTED!!! One foot in and one foot out. The guilt the grief the interest😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

AJ inviting her to sit with them and HARRY KNOWING HER REASONING IS A LIE !!!!!!!!

Harry knew that was a lie because she slept in most Saturdays. Not terribly late, but not as early as she would for work. If she didn’t want to sit next to him on the couch, that was fine. Better for him anyway. She might start thinking he can tolerate her or something and that wouldn’t do. 

Yeah it’s totally fine that she doesn’t want to sit next to me😃better for me anyways😃because I totally wasn’t hoping deep down that she would😃even though I’m acting like I don’t care😃

“Just for a minute then. Tell us about your night. Did any losers try to buy you drinks?” AJ pressed on. She laughed, nodding and walking until she was at the back of the couch. 

“Of course! As soon as you show your shoulders, people start acting insane.” 

Harry barely heard anything she was saying because he was too busy following the slope of her shoulders and neck.

He also thinks he’s had way too much beer, but he doubts she’ll notice his staring because all her attention is on AJ anyway as they laugh together and her hand rests on his arm. He switched his gaze to her hand and rolled his eyes. They just met and are fast friends somehow. He doesn’t get it. He’s pretty sure she’s tipsy at the very least because he’s never seen her so loose. But that’s probably because she doesn’t allow herself to be around him. 

This this thisssss he’s so jelly but he’s doing everything he can to find another reason behind it😆😆😆🤭

Again, not his issue to care about. 

Caring an awful lot about it though aren’t you pie maker? Skill issue.

By the time Harry focused back into the conversation, (Y/N) was right next to him on the couch, close enough for him to be able to smell her perfume. And she did smell good. Objectively. Like, he’s sure anyone would think the scent is decent. It’s probably a very popular perfume and has nothing to do with just her. 

I’m cackling🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wtf does Lucas want🙄🙄🙄

“You want me to call him back? I’ll tell him off for you.” AJ offered and that was when Harry knew he needed to get out of his head and start to intervene. They’re both probably some form of wasted and now doesn’t seem like the best time to do something like that. 

“You’d do that?” She was just about to reach for her phone when Harry snatched it from her lap. 

“That sounds like a terrible idea, (Y/N).” He held the phone out of reach when she turned to pout at him. He got distracted by her glittery eyeshadow for a half second before turning to AJ. “And you stop encouraging her.” 

OH HOW FUNNY I THINK HE CARES RIGHT HERE !!!!!!! I THINK HE CARES A LOOOOOOOT !!!!

HOW BORING AHHAAHAH

But the phone is ringing the phone is ringing the phone is ringing👀👀👀👀

“Please let us answer!” They pretty much said in unison before dying of laughter again and leaning into each other like this was the funniest thing the both of them had ever seen. 

“He’s not going to leave her alone until somebody tells him to, Harry. Just—”

Harry didn’t bother listening to what else he was going to say, he just picked up the phone and put it to his ear. 

“Who the fuck is this?” 

“Busy. Can I help you with something?” It’s not like Harry knew anything about (Y/N), but he did know that he didn’t like Lucas. And there was no real reason why, he just doesn’t. 

EVIL LAUGHTER MWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA

“Yeah. Give my girlfriend her phone back.” Lucas might be the same amount of tipsy as (Y/N). Maybe a little worse if he’s calling her his girlfriend. 

THE FACE I MADE KFGJFJFJFHDH THAT MAN CANNOT BE SERIOUS

“Don’t call this number again. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. Goodbye.” He thought of going into more detail to really piss him off, but again, he doesn’t know him and it’s not his job to tell off people for (Y/N). So he stopped there, not wanting to cause an issue for her if he did go further. He placed the phone back in her lap and shifted to stand. “Should probably just block him. No reason to not if you don’t want him to call you.” And then he left them, seemingly dumbfounded on the couch, to go into the kitchen. 

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO HOT BUT SO FUCKING ANNOYING !!!!!!!!!!!

But there sat (Y/N). Half asleep next to AJ who looked to be fully asleep just in the few moments he’s been in the kitchen. She looked tired, but not willing to move from her spot yet. 

And Harry doesn’t know why he does it, but he sits himself right back down next to her in the most casual way he can manage. 

I know why😌

THE HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT OUT THE OH LITERALLY EXACTLY

“Is he? Rather irritating to me if I’m honest.” Harry was talking too much. It’s the beer. Because he’d be in bed by now, not caring how her night went or how pretty her smile was at this time of night. He’s never drinking again. 

Yeah I don’t care at all but I read your journal and want to know why that guy is bothering you😃😃😃

Harry didn’t know what to say. He hoped she was drunk enough that she didn’t notice his lack of people skills. Should he comfort her? Tell her Lucas wasn’t shit anyway? He doesn’t know. So he says nothing and just nods, turning back to the tv. 

I’m here for this acknowledgement he do be weird as fuck sometimes

“Goodnight.” He said, though she couldn’t hear him. 

He left her and AJ on the couch, the tv still running on a low volume and he didn’t really feel the need to, but he tossed a blanket over (Y/N). Then, he fixed the corners, making sure it was up to her shoulders and she didn’t move, clearly exhausted from her night out. 

And then Harry went to bed. 

AND THEN I SCREAMED

(Y/N) thinks Harry is making a pie in the kitchen. 

Sigh

They haven’t spoken in a week plssssssss !!!!!

(Y/N) was light on Harry for the past week. She didn’t want to push his nerves too much when he’d been decent to her when she came home drunk and sleepy and he even told off Lucas for her. 

But her kindness has officially expired and she’s ready to bother him again. 

I love her. I really really do.

Humming pls pies really are his escape😭

What does it look like shut the fuck up

Dutch apple okuuuurrrrrrrrrrrr

It’s the way she wants to be annoying but also genuinely cares to want to get to know him like that’s always the root of it all for her !!!!!! Harry take notes !!!!!!

“What are you doing?” He stopped, setting the bowl aside and turning to her with a cold look. 

“Nothing. What are you doing?” She leaned back a fraction but got comfortable on the countertop, letting him know she wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do but…I’m not interested.” That almost looked like the last thing he wanted to say but she didn’t understand why. 

“Yeah, I got that. But not interested in what?” 

“You.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes, I’m not looking for anything like that right now.” 

Both of (Y/N)’s hands covered her mouth and she really, really did try to not start laughing but it was almost impossible when he looked so serious with a dusting of flour on his cheek. 

OMG COOK HIMMMMMM BAHHAHAHAHAH

“I just don’t think it would be a good idea.” 

Yeah I think therapy for you pie maker is a better idea😌

“And where is this coming from exactly?” She interrupted him. 

“Nowhere. I got a feeling that you…” He trailed off there, as if he didn’t know where to go with it. 

“That I what?” 

“Like…you like…I don’t know, okay? Stop looking at me like that.” 

He’s so embarrassed mmm yummy🍽️

EXPLAIN !!!!!!!!!! COMMUNICATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE APRON IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME ACTUALLY THOUGH

“I just don’t want you getting any ideas.” 

“Ideas?” Her tone was incredulous. If only she knew a lick of what he was talking about. 

No actuaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyyy

Admiring he read her journal and the way he’s looking as he says it is soooooooo glorious omg🤣🤣🤣🤣

“My journal?” She asked for clarification. “I know you read my journal, Harry.” She actually didn’t know if he did or not, but when she picked it up from the couch the other day, he looked so guilty it almost made her ask if he was alright. So, she concluded that he was being nosy. 

Women in stem !!!!!!!!!!!

HE’S SOOOOOO BLUSHING HE DOES BLUSH🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

“I don’t know. I didn’t get to read much. Just something about…tattoos or I don’t know! I don’t know what I saw but I don’t want anything to do with it, alright? Keep it to yourself.”

OH I’M FREAKING OUT I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT BUT I PICKED UP YOUR JOURNAL, OPENED IT AND STARTED READING OH OH OHHHHHHHHHHHH👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹

“Perhaps I do.” She shrugged. “I kind of like this panicked look on you. It’s funny. Let me show you something.” 

She hopped down from the counter and went to get her journal. She wanted to embarrass him a little further. She wanted to make him read it. Since he wanted to read it so badly before. 

Omg I’m so ready she’s the best

Harry was sitting at the kitchen table when she made it back, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s probably rethinking saying anything at all. 

THIS VISUAL BAHSHSHHSHSSH

“I don’t need to see it.” He murmured, not looking up from his lap. 

But I did the other day👹

“I think you do. Here.” She had the book opened to the page she thinks he had it on and handed it to him when he sat up. “Read.” He sighed, taking it from her hands. 

“Joseph from work looked at me again. He’s so dreamy and every time he comes around I don’t remember how to function. He’s cute enough. I think he just wants to—do I have to?” His head fell back and he squeezed his eyes shut. 

OMGOMGOMG WAIT SO IT REALLY WASN’T HIM AHAHAHHSHSHSHSHHSHSHHAHAHSHHSHJSJAJHAHSHSHHSHHGSGSGHSHAHAHHSHSHSH

“Yes. You have to.” She was well aware of what it said, she just wanted to hear him say it and potentially get to see him look a little silly over the whole thing. She didn’t really care that he saw it. She never writes anything in there that anyone could use against her. And she definitely won’t be doing it now either. 

Period queen

“I think he just wants to sleep with me and that’s fine. I’d sleep with him just to say I had the chance. His eyes, his hair, his hands, his tattoos, I’m sure he’ll show me a good time.” He shut the book and slid it across the table across from him. 

“So?” He didn’t move right away. He took a few deep breaths before looking up at her. 

“Sorry.” 

“That’s so funny.” She wiped her eye and reached for the journal. “And just so you know, Harry. You’re not my type.” 

SHE’S LYING BUT I LOVE HER FOR THIS AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND WHY NOT THIS FUCKING PIE MAKER IS ALL OVER THE GOD DAMN MAP P L E A S E

“First off, you just said you weren’t interested and I’m not in the mood for another man to ruin my life right now.” It was a valid answer. Lucas had done a number. She’s not looking for anything either and she’s almost glad they got to have this conversation so she can say it out loud and someone besides Raven can hold her accountable. 

“Fair. Alright. It’s settled.” Harry did look like he had a million more questions but he didn’t bother asking any of them. 

Like he has any sort of control over this conversation plsssssssss I actually cannot with this man🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

“That’s a nice apron.” She changed the subject and tried to keep all humor out of her voice but it was hard. A man like him wearing an apron in the first place was a little much. Probably not in the way he was thinking. 

“Hush.” 

“I’ll be back when the pie’s ready!” She took her journal and made a dash for the stairs, figuring she’s messed with him enough for now. She would be back for the pie though. 

Okaaaaaaaayyyyy but I feel like this will open things up a bit ??? Because it’s been made clear they don’t want each other (lies) so maybe he’ll fucking relax ???? But then this is exactly how they’ll get closer and fall in love and we’ll get that groveling and scene😌

It’s thunder storming and she can’t fall back asleep so she goes down to make some tea…..

The living room was dark. She was on her way to the kitchen when she heard music. It wasn’t loud but she didn’t know where it was coming from at first. It was a familiar tune but that didn’t matter much when she had no idea why it was playing at this hour. 

She walked down the hall, to Harry’s room. She could see the glow of the lamp in his room before she turned the corner to actually see inside. 

He’s in the same position as last time. Head in his hands, breathing deeply. And she hates to disturb him when he seems like he’s in the middle of something, but maybe the distraction helps. She’s not sure but she wants to try. 

Oh Ren oh Ren oh Ren🥺

“Harry?” 

He barely flinched. He didn’t shy away or try to pretend he’s not doing well. He didn’t move his face from his hands or move at all really.

That’s when you know😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

“Can I do anything?” She toed the entrance to his room, not yet knowing how he was going to react to her presence. He could completely lash out and send her away which she was almost expecting but he didn’t answer. She’s not even sure he can hear her. 

She walks in just far enough to rub over his shoulder. He pulled away, eyes hurrying to meet hers and she noticed his cheeks are tearstained and (Y/N) just doesn’t know if she can stand here and do nothing. 

Stop it😭😭😭

“What do you need? What helps?” 

“I don’t know. Nothing. Nothing helps.” He’s trembling under her hand. And she has many more questions but right now she thinks it’s the rain. He doesn’t like rain. She doesn’t know why and now isn’t the time to ask so she runs her hand across his shoulders again. 

RENNNNNNNNNNNNN

THE WEATHER

THE WEATHER CHANNEL

SO HE CAN PREPARE

RENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

OH YOUR MIND😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“No.” His voice broke slightly and he leaned back into his hands, breathing shakily. She stepped away for just a second to grab his phone that was playing the music. She paused it and set it aside before sitting next to him on the bed and saying nothing. Maybe he just wanted someone to be there. She knows he hates questions so she’s not going to ask any personal ones while he’s vulnerable. She can just sit here and be with him until he tells her to leave. “When’s it over?” 

“I don’t know. I can check.” 

“No. Don’t move.” 

REN

“I’m not going anywhere. Promise.” She gently squeezed his wrist. His hands were still over his face but he didn’t say anything. “Is gray your favorite color?” Maybe talking helped. He’d certainly tell her if it didn’t. Everything in his room was gray or a dark shade, so she had to assume it was. 

“No.” 

“Then why’s your room gray?” 

“Everything feels gray.” He said, pressing his hands further to his face. She held on tighter to his wrist, gently running her thumb over it. This wasn’t the best subject then. She could try again. 

RENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN😭😭😭😭😭OH I’M IN TEARS NEVER MIND EVERYTHING I JUST SAID BEFORE THIS I LIED !!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST LIKE HE’S DOING ABOUT NOT LIKING HER SO ITS FINE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT?!😃😭😃😭😃😭

She’s being so great and kind and nice right now🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“Do you want tea? I was going to make some.” She finally let go of his wrist, not wanting to push her luck too much by touching him for that long. 

“No sugar this time, please.” 

🥹🥹🥹

She couldn’t help her smile. Maybe he’s lightening up. Or maybe he just appreciates her sitting with him while he’s obviously not feeling well. But she doesn’t ask before making her way to the kitchen and filling the kettle. 

Yeah but then Ren hit us with this sharp left turn and I’m not even surprised. One step forward, four steps backwards😭😭😭

When she returned with two full mugs, he was sitting up, face clear like he hadn’t been upset at all, but still set in a deep frown.  She held out the mug for him and he took it silently and set it aside on the nightstand next to him. 

“You can go now.” 

“Oh.” She thought he’d give her a few more minutes to sit next to him but apparently her time has been cut short. “Are you sure?” 

“More than.” His answer was firm, like he wasn’t on the edge of some sort of anxiety attack two minutes ago. But she didn’t question it. 

“Okay. Yeah. Get some sleep.” She lingered for a second before hurrying out of his room just like he wanted her to. 

UUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

Harry didn’t sleep until the rain stopped and the cloudy sky revealed the sun. The tea got cold next to him but he couldn’t make himself drink it. 

No one has ever seen him like that outside of AJ. Maybe not even him. He’s only ever been on the phone with him during something like that. 

But (Y/N) sat there and didn’t ask anything. And he knew she wanted to. He doesn’t want to give her too much credit but it didn’t bother him. Her sitting there with him. The last thing he expected was her to come downstairs in the middle of the night. He hates to say it, but that one wasn’t as bad as all the other ones. 

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!

Whenever it rains, storms specifically, Harry can only fold into himself and let all the horrible what ifs fill his brain that he can normally choke down on a normal day. Spring time is the hardest. He hates spring. 

I am a basket case of emotions right now😭😭😭

Harry never tries to make himself feel better. He only reminds himself of how she must have felt. And how it’s all his fault. He tries to breathe but that’s it. When it’s really bad he’ll try to play music, but that never works. He’s never had another person next to him, actively trying to make him feel better. 

And he hated it. Hated that she saw him like that and hated how he only filled her with more questions when he doesn’t want to have to answer any of them. 

Wowowowowwwwwwww😭😭😭

In turn, this has Harry’s mind racing with thoughts of (Y/N). He doesn’t want to think about her. He doesn’t want to see her in the kitchen making herself dinner, he doesn’t want to see her on the couch watching whatever reality show she’s into now. He doesn’t like that she’s acting like nothing happened when it feels like there was a shift somewhere. Like he might tell her why he gets that way, to help her understand. But he won’t. It has nothing to do with her and as long as she’s fine with not asking, he supposed he could be fine with it too. Unless she gets bold again but he doesn’t see her trying that anytime soon. 

He can’t stand it though, wondering what she’s thinking all hours of the day. He doesn’t think he’s thought about anyone this much but he knows it comes from a place of anxiety. That’s why the thoughts feel so oppressive and obsessive when all he really wants to do is erase the image of him from her mind. 

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

(Y/N) won’t even look at him as she passes through the living room and he’s right there. She doesn’t say a word, doesn’t look at him weird, nothing. He almost wished she joked with him again or asked her dumb questions like what his favorite pie is. Just to lift the tension he feels whenever he gets near the house. 

Okay but Harry who’s fault is that😩😩😩😩😩

If she won’t acknowledge it, fine. He could do that too and it’s probably better for their situation anyway. There didn’t need to be any closeness. There was no reason for there to be. 

ITS ALWAYS “ITS PROBABLY BETTER”😭😭😭😭

On the other hand…he thinks his mind might be playing tricks on him. Skewing his view of her, cutting her some slack. She’s not all bad. She does smell good and she’s a considerate roommate, but that’s where it stops. Everything else…well. He doesn’t know. 

But we will find out!

And not that he’s giving her a compliment but he likes seeing her work outfits. It’s strange but it’s never going to be something that anyone else knows but he’d die for the pinstriped pants she wears weekly. They fit well. But that’s it. 

BHAAAAA THIS MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pie maker is becoming the least interesting thing about him I swear😭😭😭

The lasagna. She made it again and against every fiber of his being he told her he was good just to be an ass. She didn’t seem discouraged, she just looked happy to have a whole pan of leftovers. And that about killed him because that lasagna was unlike anything he’s ever had. 

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET ! YOU GET NOTHING !

He secretly tried to recreate it but there’s something she does that he doesn’t and it ruins the dish entirely without it.

Omg this is everything

None of that really matters when he got matched on a website with the last person he ever thought he would. Living with her. Not a totally bad thing but different. Familiar in a way but not so that it affected much. He just didn’t like what his mind did when he let it wander too far. 

Things like how she left hair ties everywhere, the house always smelled good no matter what, always tidy. Her trinkets that littered the house alone let any guest know there was a feminine touch to it. He didn’t know how to explain it. 

AAAAHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

But all she’s done since she moved in is make him look like a fool. Borderline yelling at her over a simple question. Reading her journal like an idiot, as if she wouldn’t notice. Accusing her of crushing on him when she made it very clear that was never happening. 

And he doesn’t know why but that bit irks him more than it should. Harry is pretty sure he’s everyone’s type. So maybe she’s just saying that. That’s what he’s telling himself anyway. 

OKAY I HATE HIM AGAIN😌

Of course, she had to wake up in the dead of night and catch him in the middle of a breakdown. He wished he could stop it and be normal about the rain but there’s a large part of him that doesn’t want to offer himself the grace to. He could deal with the suffering. It helped with the bone-crushing guilt he felt whenever one drop of rain tapped the window. 

Oh wow😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨this hit me😭😭😭

It was a process, a journey. At least that’s what the grief counselor said before he stopped going only a month after it happened. It didn't help. How could it when he knew there was nothing he could do to change things. He wasn’t hopeful, he wasn’t optimistic. That had been flushed out as soon as he got that phone call. 

Ahhhhh see what did I say about therapy !!!!!!!!

Harry doesn’t like to think about it but sometimes his mind makes him anyway. No matter how hard he tries not to. And it’s something he’s nowhere near ready to discuss with anyone. Not from the very beginning. He doesn’t think he could bear it. 

He clears those thoughts from his head, wanting to avoid them for as long as possible. Besides, he was sure that (Y/N) would be on her way out sooner than later. Whether it was because of him or because she found a more suitable place to live, he didn’t care. 

But he does😌

WOWWWWW ! I just have to say this scene was written beautifully😭👏👏👏👏When he is ready to discuss it I fear I’m going to bawl my eyes out😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Going out with Raven and she really doesn’t want to talk about Harry because she’ll say too much of what’s really on her mind🤭🤭🤭

“You make two separate meals? When you live together?” Raven was looking at her like the idea of that was so insane when it didn’t really feel like such a big deal. They liked different things, they ate at different times. They didn’t have to spend a lot of time together just because they live in the same house. 

Valid !!!!

“I mean, yeah. He did share his pie with me though. That was nice of him.” And it was even better warm. He didn’t necessarily call her down when it was done, but he pretty much did by making a lot of noise with the foil and rifling through the kitchen drawer for the ice cream scoop. Because he had vanilla ice cream to go with the pie. And (Y/N) had to take hers to go because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to act normal around him after she ate the pie. It was delicious. And she also didn’t think she’d be able to keep a straight face if she had eaten it in front of him. His ego would just soar and she didn’t want to feed into that.

Love this🤭

“Sure. It’s just…strange. You’d think after almost six months of knowing each other you’d be a little closer or something.” Raven shrugged but dropped the subject. 

RAVEN BABE YOU AND ME BOTH

Raven parked at the curb and shoved (Y/N)’s shoulder.

“You make him cut the grass?”

“I—what?” She turned her gaze out the window and there Harry was. No shirt, a ridiculously short pair of running shorts, mowing the lawn that she didn’t even think was long enough to cut. It’s still so early in the year. “No…I don’t. That’s…I hadn’t even thought about the yard.” 

SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING

Y/n didn’t mean to stare but I do🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️

WHAT DO I DO I GIGGLED

“Well, you have to go in so just go.” Raven still had her gaze on Harry as she spoke but then she looked at her again. “You are so fucked. It’s a miracle that you haven’t done anything about that yet. I’m serious. I don’t think I’d survive.” 

Raven it is DRAMA when you walk past the front door

“We’ve already had that conversation. Not happening.” (Y/N) went back to sipping her drink but she took advantage of the view this time. She doesn’t know when Harry finds the time to make himself look like that but goodness. That must take a lot of effort. 

“Not even just to…do it?” 

AGSHSHHSSHHAA LIKE CMONNNN😫😩😫🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Fine, I’m going. See you later.” She had to grab the one shopping bag she had in the backseat and then she waved to Raven before making her way up the walk way. (Y/N) wasn’t going to look but Harry stopped the mower when she walked by him. 

He didn’t say anything, he just kind of stared and that only made her walk faster up the steps and inside. 

PLS

Her phone buzzed when she made it to the kitchen and she didn’t want to check because she already knew what it was. 

I think he was looking at your ass 

OH he definitely was but he was also hoping she’d say hi to him but she didn’t so now he’s like “it’s probably better”

RAVEN WITH THE IDEASSSSSS💡💡💡

She’s gonna make him lemonade and he’s gonna be like did you piss in it👹👹👹👹👹

(Y/N) doesn’t know what’s gotten into her, but before long, because it really didn’t take more than two seconds, she swears, she was filling a fresh glass of ice with the lemonade she made from scratch. She really had to get a hold on herself before she went out there because she doesn’t want to be shaking from nervousness over a glass of lemonade. It’s not a big deal. He’s probably thirsty. 

It’s not a big deal he’s PROBABLY™️ thirsty🤭🤪🤭🤪🤭

“I just got home.” She panicked and said that instead of saying anything about the freezing glass in her hand. 

“I saw.”

They are meant to be

He took another step away from the mower, closer to her, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. She’s pretty sure he does. “What’s wrong?” 

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong.” Waving him off, she held the glass between them. “I made some lemonade.” He looked down at the glass and then back up to her. 

“For me?” 

“Well, no. Not for just you. I was going to have some too. So, like, for both of us.” (Y/N) figured she should shut up. But she can’t be blamed for it. He’s standing too close. She can see every line, every freckle, his skin is practically glowing in the sun. It’s not fair. No part of it. She should actually be impressed by herself for halfway keeping her composure. 

This is soooooooo good hahahaaaaaa🤭🤭

“Okay.” He took the glass from her hand and obviously, he’s not giving her any bit of a break because he went right to downing the lemonade, right in front of her. And (Y/N) had to put great effort into keeping her jaw up because he really must have been thirsty. Thirsty enough to not care that he was spilling down the front of his chest. She’s glad he’s not looking directly at her right now because she’s just watching the lemonade run down the middle of his chest and then go down, down, down—

He handed her back the glass when it was just ice and licked his lips. 

“Got more?” 

“Plenty.” 

“‘Kay. I’ll be here.” 

He’s so foul for so many reasons🫠🫠🫠🫠

(Y/N) went inside, refilled his glass, and watched the scene over again trying not to stare so hard. She even brought him a damp towel to wipe down his chest and he squinted at her. 

“You saying I’m messy?” 

🫨🫨🫨

(Y/N) almost dropped to the floor. He’s teasing. 

“No, no. I just thought you’d be…sticky.” He’s only doing it because he knows she can barely look him in the eye. She really has to do some damage control and start annoying him again. He probably thinks he’s got the upperhand. And she’s got enough sense to say that he does. In this particular moment at least. 

“See you inside.” She didn’t mention dinner. This might be a big enough step for today. 

“See you inside.” 

She turned and started for the door. 

“Nice skirt.” 

I just choked on my saliva. I literally do not know what to say.

The only thing keeping (Y/N) upright was pretending that wasn’t anything other than a throwaway comment. She only nodded over her shoulder at him in acknowledgement, but kept walking. She pretended all the way inside, to the kitchen to put the glass in the sink, and up to her bedroom. As soon as she shut the door, she had to sit on her bed and take a deep breath. 

It’s all so confusing and she doesn’t understand a bit of it, but she’s only going to dwell on it for a second because there’s a million reasons why she shouldn’t let any of that get to her. 

Just for a moment did she allow herself to slip and think things that wouldn’t mean anything in a matter of minutes.

But she did pull her journal from under her pillow and grab a pen to write down two words and two words only.

Nice skirt.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T WRITING ANYTHING IMPORTANT IN THEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS PART WAS A FUCKING TRIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH I LOVED IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is really something else. I know it comes from his trauma but omggggggg sometimes I just can’t !!!!!!!! I’m loving the pacing of this so much🤌🤌🤌I’m actually so obsessed with this story and I’m so interested to see where they go from here👀🤭👀🤭👀🤭👀THIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🩷🩷

[harrysbabycherry]

Honestly did not want this to end, it’s toooo good. Thank you again, you’re amazing, I love this so much <3

[harrysbabycherry]

Rennnn what do you think of the album

Baby. 10/10 for me. Five stars. Love.

[harrysbabycherry]

the match (part two)

summary: a HUGE misreading, a phone call, a rainstorm, and lemonade :)

10k words!

warnings: mentions of grief, very brief description of a panic attack, and i think that’s it! enjoy (sorry i’m so late)

Harry doesn’t think he’s heard (Y/N) say a word in three days. 

But that was fine. He was free from her incessant questions and he thinks she might have finally learned to leave him be. He doesn’t see her, he doesn’t hear her, and somehow she moves around without him running into him. 

She’s in the shower upstairs. He heard the door shut and the water start ten minutes ago while he’s been barely focused on the tv in front of him. There’s nothing interesting on, he just wants to numb his mind a bit after a long day of thinking too hard. 

He stretched out further on the couch but his hand bumped something under the pillow. He grabbed it and pulled it out, immediately recognizing it as the journal that (Y/N) writes in all the time. He can’t believe she left it out in the open. He’d never have anything personal anywhere where someone could see it. 

It was a hardback journal, pale green, her name spelled across the front in glittery pink stickers. It was pretty thin, she probably runs through these if she always writes as much as he’s seen her in the past. 

He went to put it back where he found it, but paused. 

The shower was still running, she’d probably be in there for another ten minutes. Maybe he had some time. 

He wouldn’t want anyone to do it to him, but he flicked open the first page and skimmed, checking over his shoulder once, seeing the top of the stairs still clear. And he doesn't know why, other than that he's curious. Because why would he have a normal conversation with her when he can just read her innermost thoughts in her journal? 

Pretty boring. It was just her going too into detail about her work day months ago before she moved in. He sees names he doesn’t recognize. Which, why would he? He doesn’t know a thing about her. 

Someone named Lucas must’ve pissed her off so much her writing gets a little wonky for a minute. 

Lucas wants to break up. 

Bingo. 

Is it bad that I don’t care? 

It’s like reality tv. 

He flips to the most recent entry which is about halfway into the book. The water shut off, but he tries to hurry, skimming over the page as fast as possible until he lands on something that catches his eye. 

He’s so dreamy and every time he comes around I don’t remember how to function.

His eyes, his hair, his hands, his tattoo—

The book was slammed shut and replaced back under the pillow. The bathroom door had opened and he thought it best to not get caught reading her journal. Especially when they don't seem to be on the best terms right now.

He glanced at the clock on the wall to his right seeing that it was close to six, right before the weather report normally came on. He switched channels and tried to relax. More rain was coming because of course it would be, it's the time of year for it. It still doesn't make him any less restless when he tries to prepare himself for it.

(Y/N) came down the steps only seconds later, hair wet, a tee shirt over her now, along with a pair of pajama pants. She didn't even look at him, she just reached right beside him for the journal under the throw pillow, and then walked directly back up the stairs and into her room. 

He sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment. He has no idea what whatever in her journal meant. And he doesn't want to jump to conclusions about anything, but he can't help but assume…

It's something that he should address immediately if what he's read is what he thinks he read. Yeah, she has an ex, but as far as he could tell from the other entry, she wants nothing to do with him. And it's not that he has a lot of context to that one sentence, but he's thinking the worst. 

If it wasn’t for the word tattoos, he wouldn’t even think anything of it. Tons of people have hair and eyes and hands but tattoos? They’re the only thing that gives him personality these days. What else is he supposed to think?

Even if it's not about him, he should make himself clear anyway. He's not interested. And if that was about someone else, so be it. At least he let her know that this isn't going to happen. It's not the first time he's had to shut someone down. It's better to get it over with as soon as possible. 

The pie shop has exposed him to all kinds of people. And he's not so naive to think that no one would ever want anything to do with him again. He's aware of how he's perceived by others. There's nothing cocky about it, it's just facts. 

It's either he tells her that there's no chance or he just avoids her until the end of time. That will definitely let her know without explicitly having to say it. But he figured it best to tell her when the opportunity presented itself. 

*****

(Y/N) is pretty sure Harry’s mad at her. 

And if it’s about her innocent question the other day, he doesn’t have a reason to be. He could have handled that a dozen different ways, even with silence. Silence is always an answer. 

But instead, he’s been almost avoiding her it seems like. Whenever she catches him in the kitchen or the living room, he's like a deer in headlights. Like, he hadn't expected her to be anywhere near him. And then he runs off as if he's being chased. 

It's nothing she really feels like bothering with because considering he acted a little unfairly the last time she tried to be friendly and offer him food and possibly a night where they could bond. 

Not necessarily bond, but maybe she’d learn something about him other than his favorite pie and maybe he’d lighten up a little bit more once she shows him she’s not here to cause any trouble for him. 

Since that’s never going to happen, she figures she can cause a little trouble for him. 

She won’t ask about the picture again. Goodness, she doesn’t think she’ll ever get the courage to do that again, but she can annoy the ever loving shit out of him. To the point where he has to acknowledge her. It’s one of her favorite things to do. 

That will have to wait though. She’s going out tonight. 

Raven and a few other friends were stopping by to pick her up in about twenty minutes and she’d just finished on her hair. She couldn’t do anything too extravagant, but she did try and that’s all that really matters. (Y/N) hasn’t been out of the house since she moved in. Four months is a long time without seeing her entire friend group, they used to do something weekly, but eventually people just got busy and plans got canceled or moved around. 

She hasn’t heard anything from Harry since she got home. He was locked away in his bedroom when she got back from work, so she hasn’t even seen him yet today. 

But she does hear the sound of someone besides Harry downstairs. She hasn’t been down since she got home, but if she didn’t know any better, she’d think Harry had company tonight. She was actually almost excited for Raven to pull up so she could go down and see who was here. 

Raven texted and she jumped off her bed and grabbed her purse before rushing to the top of the steps. 

There was a man on the couch sitting a cushion away from Harry. They were talking but not about anything she could hear. A sports game was playing on the tv and they both had beers. So they are allowed to have friends over. Raven might actually get her wish to come inside one of these days. 

She started down the steps and ignored the way Harry turned almost immediately at the sound of her footsteps. But she didn’t look up from her feet until she was at the bottom. She’s probably dressed nicer than he’s ever seen her, maybe that’s why he’s looking at her with such disdain. It was only jeans and a sparkly top that tied behind her neck, showing off her shoulders and back, but he’s probably used to seeing her in sweatpants. 

She didn’t bother saying anything to either one of them but she did walk past to get to the kitchen to grab her keys from the hook by the sink. She’d actually put up a few hooks right next to each other but she was the only one that used them, Harry never even commented on them, but she knows he noticed. 

“Harry, you didn’t tell me you lived with a supermodel.” Harry’s friend spoke up when she paused to text Raven back, telling her she’d just be a minute. 

She was flattered instantly. His friend was good looking because he had to be. Harry’s attention was pulled from the tv and now locked onto her again as she stood just outside of the foyer. 

“I don’t.” Harry muttered, not taking his gaze away from her as he sipped from the beer in his hand. 

“I’m (Y/N).” She should’ve known that Harry would be less than cordial, even with a guest in the house, so she decided to introduce herself because he obviously wasn’t going to. She stuck her hand over to shake his and he did, not letting go quite as soon as she thought he would. 

“AJ. Harry has told me nothing about you. Where are you off to? Is it more fun than this?” He nodded toward the tv and Harry. She didn’t want to laugh but she couldn’t help it. 

“Anything would be.” She saw his eyes roll. “Just out. My friends are picking me up.” 

“Oh, nice. Well, I won’t keep you, but if you're looking for a new roommate in the near future, I’ll have a vacancy soon.” He winked, pulling another laugh from her, and dropping her hand. 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Have a good night, nice to meet you.” She fluttered a wave in his direction as she turned toward the door to leave. 

Harry waited for the door to shut before glaring at AJ. 

“You didn’t have to say a word to her, you know.” He hated that (Y/N) did that little laugh like she was just so enamored by him when she’s only known him for three seconds. 

“Did you see her? Was I supposed to just let a woman like that walk by and say nothing? I don’t know how you do it.” He shook his head in disbelief, taking a long sip of his beer before leaning to place it on the coffee table in front of him. “You should loosen up. She’s cute.” 

“She just lives here. And she’s annoying. Nothing cute about it.” Harry noticed that she was dressed up, sure. But all he did was notice. He didn’t admire, he didn’t stare for too long. He just looked. And now AJ is blowing it all out of proportion just to grate on his nerves like he loves to do any chance he can get. 

“Send her my way then. Her hands are so soft, I didn’t want to let go.” 

“Can we just watch the game? Or talk about something else?” He didn’t need to hear his friend gushing over (Y/N). It was like two distant aspects of his life collided and made things weird. He wanted to keep all of that separate, but AJ insisted on coming over to watch the game and drink all his beer. 

“But did you feel her hands? They’re like, so moisturized. I wonder what she uses. And she smells good too. Harry, you’re in so much trouble.” He laughed, but Harry didn’t know what he meant by that. (Y/N) was just a roommate for now. She would be moved out by the end of the year and they’d never think about each other again. Or maybe she would think about him since her journal says as much, but he wouldn’t give her a second thought in the next year. 

“I don’t know what you mean, but it’s not happening.” He wanted to tell AJ about the journal but he would give him so much shit for doing something like that, it’s not worth sharing it. Even if it’s weighing on him in the most unexpected of ways. 

“Let me ask you something.”

“Nope.” He grabbed the remote and started turning the volume up. AJ wouldn’t drop this until he asked all his questions but Harry could try to delay it. 

“Alright, you dick. It’s just one question, I swear.” It was a trap. Because he’d ask a question just to think of five more and it would never end until he was satisfied with the answers he was getting. 

“I’m good.” 

“No, seriously! It’s valid, listen to me!” 

“I’m not interested and never will be in anyone, ever again. Does that answer all your little questions?” He went back to his beer. He’d have to get another one soon if he wanted to be able to put up with AJ because he wasn’t going to let any part of it go. 

“You know she would want you to. It’s been five years.” And AJ has been full of hard truths ever since then. But it still wasn’t something he was ready to face, no matter how much time passed. 

“Maybe. But I’m not ready to do anything like that yet.” He didn’t actually foresee that he would ever be ready. And that was fine. He didn’t mind holding the space in his heart for someone that he would never see again. 

“Fair.” AJ shrugged. “So, you’ll let me call dibs?” 

“I’m about to put you out if you keep talking about her like that.” He said, more pointedly than he intended to. 

“Wait, so you’re calling dibs? I need you to be more clear on this right now.” He grinned widely, leaning closer as if he was hanging off his every word. But he was really only trying to annoy him. 

“You’re acting like someone that wants to get sent home early.” 

“And you’re acting like someone who wants to call dibs on his roommate.” 

“AJ. Please.” He hasn’t so much as looked at or considered anyone since Rina. Because it just felt wrong. And AJ is well aware, he just likes to tease. A little teasing is good for him though, so he doesn’t get too upset about it because he knows the place he’s coming from. 

AJ had spent countless hours on the phone at night with Harry, just because he needed someone to talk to, someone to tell everything he was thinking so he could get it out of his head. But the grief was still heavy on his shoulders, despite it all. And Harry just doesn’t think trying to find someone else will give him any relief. It’ll only feel like he’s trying to replace something irreplaceable. 

“I do think that I have some…mild effect on her. But that’s all I’m willing to say and it means nothing to me.” That’s all he could say. He’d probably tell (Y/N) he read her journal if he said anything more. And she’d give him so much hell. 

“Come on! How can you say that and then not explain? You’re so fucked up for that.” He shoved his shoulder once. And then one more time when he shook his head at him. 

“I just know. Drop it.” He knew mentioning it and then not elaborating would piss him off, but he has to get him back somehow. 

“I’m staying until she gets back because I have to tell her how pretty she is again. You’re clearly not doing it.” He rolled his eyes before standing and walking off to the kitchen, probably to get another beer. 

(Y/N) did get home close to midnight. The lock rattled before she came pushing her way inside, still laughing from whatever had been going on outside. 

She froze when she saw both of them looking at her from the couch again. And then she waved at AJ before walking to the kitchen to hang her keys back up. 

“Hi again, (Y/N).” 

“Hi AJ.” Her bright smile made Harry feel sick to his stomach. He hadn’t seen it in a while and he can only assume it’s because of him. But it’s nothing he feels he should fret over. He can’t be responsible for her mood, just because he put down a boundary. Not in the nicest way, but he didn’t know how else to say it. No one had asked in a long time. 

“Come sit for a little bit. We’re not doing anything.” AJ waved her over and her eyes immediately shot to Harry, who kept his expression neutral despite everything in his body telling him to send her off to her room. The only spot on the couch was directly next to him and he didn’t want to give her any reason to be that close to him. 

“Oh, no thanks. I don’t want to intrude. I have an early morning anyway.” 

Harry knew that was a lie because she slept in most Saturdays. Not terribly late, but not as early as she would for work. If she didn’t want to sit next to him on the couch, that was fine. Better for him anyway. She might start thinking he can tolerate her or something and that wouldn’t do. 

“Just for a minute then. Tell us about your night. Did any losers try to buy you drinks?” AJ pressed on. She laughed, nodding and walking until she was at the back of the couch. 

“Of course! As soon as you show your shoulders, people start acting insane.” 

Harry barely heard anything she was saying because he was too busy following the slope of her shoulders and neck. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen her shoulders. He also thinks he’s had way too much beer, but he doubts she’ll notice his staring because all her attention is on AJ anyway as they laugh together and her hand rests on his arm. He switched his gaze to her hand and rolled his eyes. They just met and are fast friends somehow. He doesn’t get it. He’s pretty sure she’s tipsy at the very least because he’s never seen her so loose. But that’s probably because she doesn’t allow herself to be around him. 

Again, not his issue to care about. 

“My ex saw one of my friends’ stories and he’s been calling me all night.” By the time Harry focused back into the conversation, (Y/N) was right next to him on the couch, close enough for him to be able to smell her perfume. And she did smell good. Objectively. Like, he’s sure anyone would think the scent is decent. It’s probably a very popular perfume and has nothing to do with just her. 

“You want me to call him back? I’ll tell him off for you.” AJ offered and that was when Harry knew he needed to get out of his head and start to intervene. They’re both probably some form of wasted and now doesn’t seem like the best time to do something like that. 

“You’d do that?” She was just about to reach for her phone when Harry snatched it from her lap. 

“That sounds like a terrible idea, (Y/N).” He held the phone out of reach when she turned to pout at him. He got distracted by her glittery eyeshadow for a half second before turning to AJ. “And you stop encouraging her.” 

“What are you, our dad? We’re trying to be messy. Give her the phone.” AJ reached across her lap and tried for the phone, but Harry leaned back, making them all squish together on the couch. 

“She’s going to regret it as soon as she does it. If you both feel the same tomorrow morning, go for it. But right now, no.” It was like babysitting. He put her phone on the coffee table in front of them and gave the two of them a look, as if daring them to reach for it again. 

“He’s so responsible.” (Y/N) sighed, leaning her head back on the couch behind her. 

“No, he’s no fun, is what he is. We could’ve ruined Lucas’s life with one sentence but here comes mister high morals. How boring.” Right as AJ stopped talking, her phone started ringing from the table. (Y/N) and AJ looked at each other before laughing. 

“Please let us answer!” They pretty much said in unison before dying of laughter again and leaning into each other like this was the funniest thing the both of them had ever seen. 

“He’s not going to leave her alone until somebody tells him to, Harry. Just—”

Harry didn’t bother listening to what else he was going to say, he just picked up the phone and put it to his ear. 

“Who the fuck is this?” 

“Who the fuck is this?” 

“I asked first.” Harry glanced at AJ and (Y/N) seeing their mouths dropped in shock. He rolled his eyes. 

“Where’s (Y/N)?” 

“Busy. Can I help you with something?” It’s not like Harry knew anything about (Y/N), but he did know that he didn’t like Lucas. And there was no real reason why, he just doesn’t. 

“Yeah. Give my girlfriend her phone back.” Lucas might be the same amount of tipsy as (Y/N). Maybe a little worse if he’s calling her his girlfriend. 

“Don’t call this number again. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. Goodbye.” He thought of going into more detail to really piss him off, but again, he doesn’t know him and it’s not his job to tell off people for (Y/N). So he stopped there, not wanting to cause an issue for her if he did go further. He placed the phone back in her lap and shifted to stand. “Should probably just block him. No reason to not if you don’t want him to call you.” And then he left them, seemingly dumbfounded on the couch, to go into the kitchen. 

There was nothing in particular that he went in for, he just wanted to get away from their staring for a minute. Perhaps that was out of character, but if it got them to stop behaving that way, he’d do it again in a heartbeat. 

He came back to the couch with every intention of tossing a blanket over AJ, because he wasn’t going anywhere in that state, and making his way to his bedroom. 

But there sat (Y/N). Half asleep next to AJ who looked to be fully asleep just in the few moments he’s been in the kitchen. She looked tired, but not willing to move from her spot yet. 

And Harry doesn’t know why he does it, but he sits himself right back down next to her in the most casual way he can manage. 

“Thank you for that.” Her voice was soft and sleepy and her head had lolled to the side to look at him. Though he wasn’t planning on looking back because she’d catch him with those eyes.

“It’s nothing.” He muttered, keeping his focus on the tv. It was the post-game review, so nothing too exciting but it was better than looking at her. 

“No, really. You didn’t have to.” Her body faced him further and he hurried to change the subject. He didn’t need her to get sappy. This wasn’t going to be one of those moments. 

“How was your night out?” It was the first thing that came to mind. She was probably just drunk enough to ramble on about her night until she dozed off, so it was the perfect question to get her talking. 

“Oh.” Surprise was evident in her voice, but he expected it to be. “It was good. Nice to see all my friends again.” 

“Hm.” 

“And you had fun here? AJ is super nice.” 

“Is he? Rather irritating to me if I’m honest.” Harry was talking too much. It’s the beer. Because he’d be in bed by now, not caring how her night went or how pretty her smile was at this time of night. He’s never drinking again. 

“That’s just because he’s your friend. He’s allowed to be.” She yawned through the second half of her sentence and then her eyes fluttered closed. 

“Why’s that guy bothering you?” He didn’t mean to pry, but his short intrusion into her journal didn’t really give him any details. And while he can’t exactly ask about the other thing, he’ll handle that later, he can try to fill in the gaps by asking about Lucas. 

“He’s mad I moved out.” She shrugged, opening her eyes for a second before closing them again. “We broke up, I said I was moving out and I guess he didn’t believe me until I started packing my bags. Then he got a little…much.” 

“What’s that mean?” 

“Just…clingy. He never did that while we were together but as soon as I made a move to leave, it was like he all of a sudden wanted me again when it never felt that way when we were together.” She sighed, turning to meet his gaze. “He didn’t care about me. I only moved in because I had nowhere else to go.” 

Harry didn’t know what to say. He hoped she was drunk enough that she didn’t notice his lack of people skills. Should he comfort her? Tell her Lucas wasn’t shit anyway? He doesn’t know. So he says nothing and just nods, turning back to the tv. 

“Think you made the right decision then.” That came out of nowhere. He wasn’t planning on speaking again, much less saying something like that. She didn’t really respond, she just hummed, shutting her eyes again. “Why don’t you go up to bed?” AJ would probably wake at an ungodly hour despite the time right now, so she’d probably want to be in her own bed. 

“You’re right. I’ll do that.” She trailed off, breathing slowing, and her body sinking further into the couch beneath her. 

There was nothing for him to do now. She’s asleep and in her clothes from her night out. But it wasn’t something he felt like volunteering himself for. 

“Goodnight.” He said, though she couldn’t hear him. 

He left her and AJ on the couch, the tv still running on a low volume and he didn’t really feel the need to, but he tossed a blanket over (Y/N). Then, he fixed the corners, making sure it was up to her shoulders and she didn’t move, clearly exhausted from her night out. 

And then Harry went to bed. 

*****

(Y/N) thinks Harry is making a pie in the kitchen. 

She hasn’t disturbed him, just because he’ll probably stop immediately and go lock himself in his room. But she does peek down the stairs and stretch as far as can just to catch a glimpse of him without him catching her. 

They haven’t spoken about the other night and nearly a week has passed since she woke up on the couch to AJ making a smoothie in the kitchen with the blender on the highest setting possible. 

He did apologize and offered her half of his green smoothie that tasted much better than she thought it would and then Harry made an appearance, complaining about the blender going at nine in the morning. 

He kept his distance and didn’t seem like he even noticed her standing there. He was in and out, breezing through the kitchen to slice an apple and smear some peanut butter on his plate before disappearing. 

AJ left not long after that and the house was silent for the rest of the day. 

(Y/N) was light on Harry for the past week. She didn’t want to push his nerves too much when he’d been decent to her when she came home drunk and sleepy and he even told off Lucas for her. 

But her kindness has officially expired and she’s ready to bother him again. 

She crept down the stairs and he clearly hadn’t heard her coming because he was humming, humming with his back to her. She had to cover her mouth so she didn’t make any noise. 

“Smells good.” She plopped on the counter next him and he jumped, cursing under his breath as soon as he caught sight of her. “What is it?” She leaned over, inspecting what he’d been putting so much attention into. 

“What does it look like?” 

“A pie?” She squinted at him and then glanced back down to see the layered apples smothered in brown sugar, all arranged neatly down into a pie crust. 

“Dutch apple.” He reached for the bowl next to him and she gasped. He’s putting a crumble on top that looks so delicious she might have to steal a slice when he goes to sleep. He’ll probably punish her for her questioning by withholding the pie. 

“That looks nice.” She sent him a smile that he didn’t return before he started filling in the rest of the pie crust with the crumble. She tried to not stare so longingly at it but if he doesn’t share that would be a crime. “So how was your day?” 

(Y/N) wasn’t softening him up or anything. She genuinely just wanted to know. If she could get more than two words out of him, even if it was mundane, she’d still listen on the edge of her seat. 

“What are you doing?” He stopped, setting the bowl aside and turning to her with a cold look. 

“Nothing. What are you doing?” She leaned back a fraction but got comfortable on the countertop, letting him know she wasn’t going anywhere. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do but…I’m not interested.” That almost looked like the last thing he wanted to say but she didn’t understand why. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I’m not interested.” 

“Yeah, I got that. But not interested in what?” 

“You.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes, I’m not looking for anything like that right now.” 

Both of (Y/N)’s hands covered her mouth and she really, really did try to not start laughing but it was almost impossible when he looked so serious with a dusting of flour on his cheek. 

“Harry…that’s not…” 

“I just don’t think it would be a good idea.” 

(Y/N) wants to tell him that he can stop with the soft rejection but she kind of wants to hear what he has to say. 

“And where is this coming from exactly?” She interrupted him. 

“Nowhere. I got a feeling that you…” He trailed off there, as if he didn’t know where to go with it. 

“That I what?” 

“Like…you like…I don’t know, okay? Stop looking at me like that.” 

(Y/N) can swear she sees a tint of pink on his cheeks but she can’t be sure. It might just be the heat from the stove next to him. 

“Well, explain. Communicate. You’re acting funny and I don’t like it.” She crossed her arms, almost like she was scolding him. He’s wearing an apron covered in a variety of pies but she can’t focus on that because she has to get to the bottom of this first. 

“I just don’t want you getting any ideas.” 

“Ideas?” Her tone was incredulous. If only she knew a lick of what he was talking about. 

“Yeah, like…” His face went pink again. “I saw something.” He winced, like it hurt to even say it. 

“And?” She waved her hand for him to continue. 

“In your journal.” His shoulders slumped like he was ashamed of himself. (Y/N) covered her mouth again while he stared at the floor, seemingly torn up about the situation. 

“My journal?” She asked for clarification. “I know you read my journal, Harry.” She actually didn’t know if he did or not, but when she picked it up from the couch the other day, he looked so guilty it almost made her ask if he was alright. So, she concluded that he was being nosy. 

“How could you possibly know that?” His face scrunched, despite just admitting to snooping through her diary. She’s definitely not telling him about the flour now. 

“There was a page creased. I’d never leave it like that. And I wasn’t going to say anything but you brought it up.” She put her hands up and shook her head. “What did you see that has you blushing so bad?” 

“I’m not blushing.” His face went back to neutral. The furrow left his brow and he just stared deadpan at her. “I don’t blush.” 

“If that’s what you’re going with, sure.” She couldn’t help grinning. Catching Harry like this has got to be the most fun she’s had since she moved in. “Now, spill.” 

“I don’t know. I didn’t get to read much. Just something about…tattoos or I don’t know! I don’t know what I saw but I don’t want anything to do with it, alright? Keep it to yourself.” He busied his hands with scooping more crumble on the pie and then slipping it in the oven all in one swoop before turning to her. “You look like you want to say something.” 

“Perhaps I do.” She shrugged. “I kind of like this panicked look on you. It’s funny. Let me show you something.” 

She hopped down from the counter and went to get her journal. She wanted to embarrass him a little further. She wanted to make him read it. Since he wanted to read it so badly before. 

Harry was sitting at the kitchen table when she made it back, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s probably rethinking saying anything at all. 

“I don’t need to see it.” He murmured, not looking up from his lap. 

“I think you do. Here.” She had the book opened to the page she thinks he had it on and handed it to him when he sat up. “Read.” He sighed, taking it from her hands. 

“Joseph from work looked at me again. He’s so dreamy and every time he comes around I don’t remember how to function. He’s cute enough. I think he just wants to—do I have to?” His head fell back and he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Yes. You have to.” She was well aware of what it said, she just wanted to hear him say it and potentially get to see him look a little silly over the whole thing. She didn’t really care that he saw it. She never writes anything in there that anyone could use against her. And she definitely won’t be doing it now either. 

“I think he just wants to sleep with me and that’s fine. I’d sleep with him just to say I had the chance. His eyes, his hair, his hands, his tattoos, I’m sure he’ll show me a good time.” He shut the book and slid it across the table across from him. 

“So?” He didn’t move right away. He took a few deep breaths before looking up at her. 

“Sorry.” 

And then (Y/N) allowed herself to laugh at him. He didn’t seem pleased by it but he deserved to be made fun of a little bit. After all that. 

She was out of breath with tears nearly leaving her eyes by the time she finished laughing. 

“That’s so funny.” She wiped her eye and reached for the journal. “And just so you know, Harry. You’re not my type.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His arms crossed. 

“I’m not interested is what it means.” 

“And why not?” 

“First off, you just said you weren’t interested and I’m not in the mood for another man to ruin my life right now.” It was a valid answer. Lucas had done a number. She’s not looking for anything either and she’s almost glad they got to have this conversation so she can say it out loud and someone besides Raven can hold her accountable. 

“Fair. Alright. It’s settled.” Harry did look like he had a million more questions but he didn’t bother asking any of them. 

“That’s a nice apron.” She changed the subject and tried to keep all humor out of her voice but it was hard. A man like him wearing an apron in the first place was a little much. Probably not in the way he was thinking. 

“Hush.” 

“I’ll be back when the pie’s ready!” She took her journal and made a dash for the stairs, figuring she’s messed with him enough for now. She would be back for the pie though. 

*****

(Y/N) woke up to thunder rattling the windows. 

It made her jump right out of her sleep and sit up before she saw lightning flashing outside. She took a deep breath and checked her phone to see the time. Just after two am. 

She tossed and turned in bed for longer than she would’ve liked to. She just couldn’t settle enough to fall back asleep. 

She had work in the morning so now wasn’t the best time for tea but she didn’t think she would be able to go back to sleep until she had it, like normal. She wasn’t sure what it was about the tea that always put her back to sleep but as long as it worked, she’d keep doing it. 

The living room was dark. She was on her way to the kitchen when she heard music. It wasn’t loud but she didn’t know where it was coming from at first. It was a familiar tune but that didn’t matter much when she had no idea why it was playing at this hour. 

She walked down the hall, to Harry’s room. She could see the glow of the lamp in his room before she turned the corner to actually see inside. 

He’s in the same position as last time. Head in his hands, breathing deeply. And she hates to disturb him when he seems like he’s in the middle of something, but maybe the distraction helps. She’s not sure but she wants to try. 

“Harry?” 

He barely flinched. He didn’t shy away or try to pretend he’s not doing well. He didn’t move his face from his hands or move at all really.

“Can I do anything?” She toed the entrance to his room, not yet knowing how he was going to react to her presence. He could completely lash out and send her away which she was almost expecting but he didn’t answer. She’s not even sure he can hear her. 

She walks in just far enough to rub over his shoulder. He pulled away, eyes hurrying to meet hers and she noticed his cheeks are tearstained and (Y/N) just doesn’t know if she can stand here and do nothing. 

“What do you need? What helps?” 

“I don’t know. Nothing. Nothing helps.” He’s trembling under her hand. And she has many more questions but right now she thinks it’s the rain. He doesn’t like rain. She doesn’t know why and now isn’t the time to ask so she runs her hand across his shoulders again. 

“Does the music help?” 

“No.” His voice broke slightly and he leaned back into his hands, breathing shakily. She stepped away for just a second to grab his phone that was playing the music. She paused it and set it aside before sitting next to him on the bed and saying nothing. Maybe he just wanted someone to be there. She knows he hates questions so she’s not going to ask any personal ones while he’s vulnerable. She can just sit here and be with him until he tells her to leave. “When’s it over?” 

“I don’t know. I can check.” 

“No. Don’t move.” 

“I’m not going anywhere. Promise.” She gently squeezed his wrist. His hands were still over his face but he didn’t say anything. “Is gray your favorite color?” Maybe talking helped. He’d certainly tell her if it didn’t. Everything in his room was gray or a dark shade, so she had to assume it was. 

“No.” 

“Then why’s your room gray?” 

“Everything feels gray.” He said, pressing his hands further to his face. She held on tighter to his wrist, gently running her thumb over it. This wasn’t the best subject then. She could try again. 

“Lucas hasn’t called me back since.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Good job. Raven’s not scary enough anymore. He probably really wasn’t expecting the call to be answered. By you especially.” She laughed lightly, recalling the whole thing even though she was a little out of it. “You could’ve been a little meaner.” 

It was still raining heavily, but the thunder had calmed a lot. Harry seemed to relax more after that, but he still had his face hidden away. 

“Do you want tea? I was going to make some.” She finally let go of his wrist, not wanting to push her luck too much by touching him for that long. 

“No sugar this time, please.” 

She couldn’t help her smile. Maybe he’s lightening up. Or maybe he just appreciates her sitting with him while he’s obviously not feeling well. But she doesn’t ask before making her way to the kitchen and filling the kettle. 

When she returned with two full mugs, he was sitting up, face clear like he hadn’t been upset at all, but still set in a deep frown.  She held out the mug for him and he took it silently and set it aside on the nightstand next to him. 

“You can go now.” 

“Oh.” She thought he’d give her a few more minutes to sit next to him but apparently her time has been cut short. “Are you sure?” 

“More than.” His answer was firm, like he wasn’t on the edge of some sort of anxiety attack two minutes ago. But she didn’t question it. 

“Okay. Yeah. Get some sleep.” She lingered for a second before hurrying out of his room just like he wanted her to. 

Harry didn’t sleep until the rain stopped and the cloudy sky revealed the sun. The tea got cold next to him but he couldn’t make himself drink it. 

No one has ever seen him like that outside of AJ. Maybe not even him. He’s only ever been on the phone with him during something like that. 

But (Y/N) sat there and didn’t ask anything. And he knew she wanted to. He doesn’t want to give her too much credit but it didn’t bother him. Her sitting there with him. The last thing he expected was her to come downstairs in the middle of the night. He hates to say it, but that one wasn’t as bad as all the other ones. 

Whenever it rains, storms specifically, Harry can only fold into himself and let all the horrible what ifs fill his brain that he can normally choke down on a normal day. Spring time is the hardest. He hates spring. 

Harry never tries to make himself feel better. He only reminds himself of how she must have felt. And how it’s all his fault. He tries to breathe but that’s it. When it’s really bad he’ll try to play music, but that never works. He’s never had another person next to him, actively trying to make him feel better. 

And he hated it. Hated that she saw him like that and hated how he only filled her with more questions when he doesn’t want to have to answer any of them. 

In turn, this has Harry’s mind racing with thoughts of (Y/N). He doesn’t want to think about her. He doesn’t want to see her in the kitchen making herself dinner, he doesn’t want to see her on the couch watching whatever reality show she’s into now. He doesn’t like that she’s acting like nothing happened when it feels like there was a shift somewhere. Like he might tell her why he gets that way, to help her understand. But he won’t. It has nothing to do with her and as long as she’s fine with not asking, he supposed he could be fine with it too. Unless she gets bold again but he doesn’t see her trying that anytime soon. 

He can’t stand it though, wondering what she’s thinking all hours of the day. He doesn’t think he’s thought about anyone this much but he knows it comes from a place of anxiety. That’s why the thoughts feel so oppressive and obsessive when all he really wants to do is erase the image of him from her mind. 

(Y/N) won’t even look at him as she passes through the living room and he’s right there. She doesn’t say a word, doesn’t look at him weird, nothing. He almost wished she joked with him again or asked her dumb questions like what his favorite pie is. Just to lift the tension he feels whenever he gets near the house. 

If she won’t acknowledge it, fine. He could do that too and it’s probably better for their situation anyway. There didn’t need to be any closeness. There was no reason for there to be. 

On the other hand…he thinks his mind might be playing tricks on him. Skewing his view of her, cutting her some slack. She’s not all bad. She does smell good and she’s a considerate roommate, but that’s where it stops. Everything else…well. He doesn’t know. 

And not that he’s giving her a compliment but he likes seeing her work outfits. It’s strange but it’s never going to be something that anyone else knows but he’d die for the pinstriped pants she wears weekly. They fit well. But that’s it. 

Her hair is decent in a claw clip. It’s pulled back from her face and everything about her looks softer. But he barely sees her like that so it doesn’t matter. 

The lasagna. She made it again and against every fiber of his being he told her he was good just to be an ass. She didn’t seem discouraged, she just looked happy to have a whole pan of leftovers. And that about killed him because that lasagna was unlike anything he’s ever had. 

He secretly tried to recreate it but there’s something she does that he doesn’t and it ruins the dish entirely without it.

None of that really matters when he got matched on a website with the last person he ever thought he would. Living with her. Not a totally bad thing but different. Familiar in a way but not so that it affected much. He just didn’t like what his mind did when he let it wander too far. 

Things like how she left hair ties everywhere, the house always smelled good no matter what, always tidy. Her trinkets that littered the house alone let any guest know there was a feminine touch to it. He didn’t know how to explain it. 

But all she’s done since she moved in is make him look like a fool. Borderline yelling at her over a simple question. Reading her journal like an idiot, as if she wouldn’t notice. Accusing her of crushing on him when she made it very clear that was never happening. 

And he doesn’t know why but that bit irks him more than it should. Harry is pretty sure he’s everyone’s type. So maybe she’s just saying that. That’s what he’s telling himself anyway. 

Of course, she had to wake up in the dead of night and catch him in the middle of a breakdown. He wished he could stop it and be normal about the rain but there’s a large part of him that doesn’t want to offer himself the grace to. He could deal with the suffering. It helped with the bone-crushing guilt he felt whenever one drop of rain tapped the window. 

It was a process, a journey. At least that’s what the grief counselor said before he stopped going only a month after it happened. It didn't help. How could it when he knew there was nothing he could do to change things. He wasn’t hopeful, he wasn’t optimistic. That had been flushed out as soon as he got that phone call. 

Harry doesn’t like to think about it but sometimes his mind makes him anyway. No matter how hard he tries not to. And it’s something he’s nowhere near ready to discuss with anyone. Not from the very beginning. He doesn’t think he could bear it. 

He clears those thoughts from his head, wanting to avoid them for as long as possible. Besides, he was sure that (Y/N) would be on her way out sooner than later. Whether it was because of him or because she found a more suitable place to live, he didn’t care. 

*****

(Y/N) had a long day at work Friday and when she got home, Harry was locked away in his room and she didn’t see him all night. She didn’t bother him because she wasn’t sure what he was doing but she knew better than to go looking when he seemed so moody recently. 

So, Saturday morning she got out of the house with Raven and they spent most of the day into the afternoon out at the shops, not looking for anything in particular, she just likes to go stare at things with no real intention to buy them. It’s just to pass time mainly. 

Of course, Raven had to bring up Harry because she still had yet to meet him face to face and she’s too curious for her own good. 

“Wait. You guys don’t even eat dinner together?” 

They just made it back to the car from the cafe they stopped at to get a late afternoon drink. She got some kind of refresher that was good enough to keep her mouth busy so she didn’t talk too much about Harry. Because he wasn’t really a topic she thought she should discuss when she didn’t know a lot about him. And because she fears if she talks about him too much, it might turn into something else. 

“Well. No. We’re just on two different schedules.” She shrugged, bringing the straw back to her mouth, playing casual. 

“You make two separate meals? When you live together?” Raven was looking at her like the idea of that was so insane when it didn’t really feel like such a big deal. They liked different things, they ate at different times. They didn’t have to spend a lot of time together just because they live in the same house. 

“I mean, yeah. He did share his pie with me though. That was nice of him.” And it was even better warm. He didn’t necessarily call her down when it was done, but he pretty much did by making a lot of noise with the foil and rifling through the kitchen drawer for the ice cream scoop. Because he had vanilla ice cream to go with the pie. And (Y/N) had to take hers to go because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to act normal around him after she ate the pie. It was delicious. And she also didn’t think she’d be able to keep a straight face if she had eaten it in front of him. His ego would just soar and she didn’t want to feed into that.

“Sure. It’s just…strange. You’d think after almost six months of knowing each other you’d be a little closer or something.” Raven shrugged but dropped the subject. 

The drive home was short. (Y/N) was thankful because she was getting tired from being out all day. She was ready to be home in comfortable clothes and lounge around for the rest of the day before dinner. Maybe she’d make something for both of them. Or maybe she could ask him what he wanted, even if she had to force it out of him so she’d know what kind of dish he likes. Depending on his mood when she got home, it might not be worth it. 

Raven parked at the curb and shoved (Y/N)’s shoulder. 

“You make him cut the grass?”

“I—what?” She turned her gaze out the window and there Harry was. No shirt, a ridiculously short pair of running shorts, mowing the lawn that she didn’t even think was long enough to cut. It’s still so early in the year. “No…I don’t. That’s…I hadn’t even thought about the yard.” 

(Y/N) didn’t mean to stare but she doesn’t think he would mind it either. She couldn’t even form any kind of sentence in her head because her and Raven were too busy watching Harry walk the yard with the mower. It was a mundane task, sure, but he didn’t have to look so good doing it. 

“What do I do?” (Y/N) turned to Raven in a panic. She’d have to pass him on the walk up. And that was fine but she doesn’t think she’s been near Harry with no shirt and a little sweaty. He had to have been doing this on purpose or something. It’s just not fair. 

“Well, you have to go in so just go.” Raven still had her gaze on Harry as she spoke but then she looked at her again. “You are so fucked. It’s a miracle that you haven’t done anything about that yet. I’m serious. I don’t think I’d survive.” 

“Do anything about what?” 

“That!” She pointed and (Y/N) smacked her wrist away so he wouldn’t see her very obvious pointing. 

“We’ve already had that conversation. Not happening.” (Y/N) went back to sipping her drink but she took advantage of the view this time. She doesn’t know when Harry finds the time to make himself look like that but goodness. That must take a lot of effort. 

“Not even just to…do it?” 

“Raven, no. It’s not like that.” She laughed it off. Based on what she’s seeing now, that might not be so true anymore. 

“Sure. Okay, get out and walk past him then. Make sure you say hi.” Then Raven laughed and waved her out of the car. 

“Fine, I’m going. See you later.” She had to grab the one shopping bag she had in the backseat and then she waved to Raven before making her way up the walk way. (Y/N) wasn’t going to look but Harry stopped the mower when she walked by him. 

He didn’t say anything, he just kind of stared and that only made her walk faster up the steps and inside. 

Her phone buzzed when she made it to the kitchen and she didn’t want to check because she already knew what it was. 

I think he was looking at your ass 

She huffed, rolling her eyes. She wanted to type back but she didn’t even know what to say to Raven. But she doubts that he was actually doing that. 

Make him some lemonade. He’s working hard out here

And then tons of laughing emojis after it. She sent a message back, not really acknowledging that part but just telling her she’d see her later. 

It did get her thinking. What if she did make him lemonade? 

He didn’t have to take care of the yard. They never really discussed it. It hadn’t been time for that type of work until now but she wasn’t expecting to come home to that. She didn’t even know they had a lawnmower.

They did have quite a few lemons lying around…

(Y/N) doesn’t know what’s gotten into her, but before long, because it really didn’t take more than two seconds, she swears, she was filling a fresh glass of ice with the lemonade she made from scratch. She really had to get a hold on herself before she went out there because she doesn’t want to be shaking from nervousness over a glass of lemonade. It’s not a big deal. He’s probably thirsty. 

He was further down the yard by the time she made it to the front porch. She rolled her eyes at herself before hurrying down the walkway. The thought of turning around felt more and more like it was going to end up happening just at the sight of his back alone. The muscle. The sweat. What on earth was she thinking? Coming out here with a glass of lemonade. He turned before she could make a break for inside. 

He stopped the mower and looked her over. 

“Yeah?” 

“I just got home.” She panicked and said that instead of saying anything about the freezing glass in her hand. 

“I saw.” He took another step away from the mower, closer to her, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. She’s pretty sure he does. “What’s wrong?” 

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong.” Waving him off, she held the glass between them. “I made some lemonade.” He looked down at the glass and then back up to her. 

“For me?” 

“Well, no. Not for just you. I was going to have some too. So, like, for both of us.” (Y/N) figured she should shut up. But she can’t be blamed for it. He’s standing too close. She can see every line, every freckle, his skin is practically glowing in the sun. It’s not fair. No part of it. She should actually be impressed by herself for halfway keeping her composure. 

“Okay.” He took the glass from her hand and obviously, he’s not giving her any bit of a break because he went right to downing the lemonade, right in front of her. And (Y/N) had to put great effort into keeping her jaw up because he really must have been thirsty. Thirsty enough to not care that he was spilling down the front of his chest. She’s glad he’s not looking directly at her right now because she’s just watching the lemonade run down the middle of his chest and then go down, down, down—

He handed her back the glass when it was just ice and licked his lips. 

“Got more?” 

“Plenty.” 

“‘Kay. I’ll be here.” 

(Y/N) went inside, refilled his glass, and watched the scene over again trying not to stare so hard. She even brought him a damp towel to wipe down his chest and he squinted at her. 

“You saying I’m messy?” 

(Y/N) almost dropped to the floor. He’s teasing. 

“No, no. I just thought you’d be…sticky.” He’s only doing it because he knows she can barely look him in the eye. She really has to do some damage control and start annoying him again. He probably thinks he’s got the upperhand. And she’s got enough sense to say that he does. In this particular moment at least. 

“See you inside.” She didn’t mention dinner. This might be a big enough step for today. 

“See you inside.” 

She turned and started for the door. 

“Nice skirt.” 

The only thing keeping (Y/N) upright was pretending that wasn’t anything other than a throwaway comment. She only nodded over her shoulder at him in acknowledgement, but kept walking. She pretended all the way inside, to the kitchen to put the glass in the sink, and up to her bedroom. As soon as she shut the door, she had to sit on her bed and take a deep breath. 

It’s all so confusing and she doesn’t understand a bit of it, but she’s only going to dwell on it for a second because there’s a million reasons why she shouldn’t let any of that get to her. 

Just for a moment did she allow herself to slip and think things that wouldn’t mean anything in a matter of minutes.

But she did pull her journal from under her pillow and grab a pen to write down two words and two words only.

Nice skirt.

*****

I know y’all know what pic i got inspo from 😁 i searched my camera roll for centuries but i did find it finally lmao. again, sorry for being late, i hope you liked this one!!!

**** a lot of your tags didn’t work idk what happened lmk!!****

tags: @c0mfortablesilences @brisworld12 @whateverali28 @thisandsomehole @loverofhsandallthings1d @sarahs-house @taraijbharper @bucketofsalmon @alaskansky007 @toosarcastic03 @outofthisworl-d @everyscarisahealingplace @forgetdelaney @laceystyles @dxnycast @stylesftcher @slutstachrry @angeldavis777 @caynonmoondreams @mema10 @in-omn1a-paratus @esposa-do-harry @harrystyleshotwife @pleasantearthquakecowboy @rhiannonworld24 @superbnightlove @caitrose88 @unabashegirl @harrystylesconcepts @sassamanda77 @witch-rry @triski73 @run-for-the-hills @contra-mondu @the-madness-underneath-the-stars @prettyboyrry @sstylezzz @ashwasneverhere @dontforgtme @wastefulangel @spinninc @shimmerygloss

[harrysbabycherry]

u are like papa

Deserved 😭

[harrysbabycherry]

the match part 2 when??? I'm so obsessed with themmmm can't wait

Very soon! I have two ish more scenes to write and then it’s ready to go :)

[harrysbabycherry]

I absolutely adore The Match! 😮‍💨 my heartstrings!!Mean!Harry is my favorite ngl soooo good!

💐💐💐💐💐 — flowers for you!

Hiiiii!!! Thank you so much! He’s my favorite too 😭