currently playing: FFv+ffxiii

4EVER A N00B He/Him. love games love anime,manga fantasy, scifi and novels. my blog is kinda random outrageously bisexual

[harukirai]

I'm not sure what to say about your situation, but I hope that you're safe and that everything goes well for you. Is there anyone you can reach out to for help?

My roomate's parents took me in for the first month until our building finished fixing the bomb shelter to be wheelchair friendly, (thats one of the reason i was offline cause they live in a place with wifi that bearly works and limited data reception).

Tbh i cant really go anywhere cause my jewish side is native to israel, and my other option is japan, but bec i was in midst treatment for nerval damage and how disability aid works here, i cant really go anywhere or fly anywhere cause ill loose all my 'perks'(stuff i need to get by like special equipment and meds)

(and i cant function without the use of cannabis and in japan if i didnt get my prescription there its tricky to even get into the country, even if i have a citizenship)

So im bound to stay here unless a miracle will happen and the pains will stop(also i have a rare condition that can only be treated at sheba which is in tel aviv one of the most bombed areas besides the south)

I got back to my apartment a week ago and im still processing all the stuff thats going on in social media, even tumblr became very hostile and i think its for best ill just take a break from the internet.

Im trying to stay out of the politics of it online because the rise of antisemetism& out right fake news is scary to watch, the miss info and even justification of terrorism going on especially in the queer community which i AM part of, is quite disgusting. Maybe its bec i live here, and speak both hebrew and arabic and ive seen stuff i wish i could just delete from my brain- but the outright denial of october 7 is dangerous for both sides.

(also maybe its bec tumbler is suggesting things by region but the amount of antisemetism, fake propaganda and lies on my feed just makes me want to delete tumblr all together so i think that ill take a break from the internet for now until it will feel like the escapism it should be.

[harukirai]

So im taking a hiatus from tumblr for a while, i was working on a big project that im afraid in the current country state i wont be able to complete.

For those who didnt know, im part jewish, and i have a native israeli jewish side to my family- and currently residing in israel bec of disability (wheelchair bound and as you imagine, getting to rocket shelter in time is very tough, and if god forbid the terror squads will roam my building id be dead meat)

I hope we'll make it out alive, but i just want to say its officialy on hiatus if in the future someone finds my FF lgbt post and wont find the follow up- this is why.

I hope this post is a dud and if itll be over and ill be alive id probably delete this.

But this is my reality now.

So i guess i cant keep living the fantasy .

I hope it wont be my final

[harukirai]

Not me randomally crossing the 2009 dissidia official figures at a local con for low price cause it havent sold for over a decade and the owner of the figure stand is a technophob, not me at all

Psa- i bought them all(it was the version in the random boxes, but he took those out years ago cause they degraded)

Look at my babiess

Ppsa-ignore the background please😂

[harukirai]

Yall remember low poly dog from lightning returns? Wellp apperantly it wasnt their fault, it is a used dog in the original xiii, i was so surprised when i stumbled upon it that i felt like i had to share

Also psa, apperantly fang also have a Gae bolg weapon and now i suspect its square enix version of queer coding/j ( last remnant had a very fruity character with a big gun named gae bolg)

[missregality]

Them today (●'◡'●)

[harukirai]

Gladnis being gladnis

[harukirai]

Hey, let us know if your cousin finds out anything about Terra originally being a lesbian!

Of course, ill give him a bit of a push, dont worry it lives rent free in the back of my head as well😂, like he have tons of stuff but at the same time he is full time office worker so him going through his whole collection of mags & stuff is probably why i didnt hear from him yet about it since we last talked😂 ( also finding videos on the internet from more than 10 years ago is hard so if anyone sees this and remember and know about the interview im talking about - when they asked kitase about it please help, i think the most recent remark is from when 13 was released and the interviewr asked him about fang possibly being into women and he made remark about past tries that didnt make the cut, the one my cousin remember though is from a game magazine from around the time 6 got the gba re relase and pple asked about terra as a female protag but like, its in a japanese magazine and i didnt grew in america/uk or anywhere where at the time we had videogame magazines(we didnt we had a general teen mag that occasionaly featured an article about CoD or Halo, sonic? Just the tv show etc.)- so idk if theres an officialy translated article about it

And it was in the year it got a gba port so even if my cousin still have that one issue he probably have it dusting off in a box somewhere cause he is the messy kind of collector.

Also note that we have a 6-7 hours gap since i live in the middle east and my cousin in osaka so i cant even go to him atm to just search the house myself😂

[harukirai]

Not me being unable to funish my 月を見てた(the ending of ffxvi song ) cover bec i cant stop crying mid way the c part, no not me at all.

[shanehollandered]

clive rosfield, babygirl of rosaria

[harukirai]

Not me reaching chapter 6 in xiii only to realize i didnt grind enough and need to track back caise i cant beat the 2 elemental sandshrew looking bosses of sahz and vanille

(playing it for the first time in english on my xbox, and idk it feels harder or have i just became bad at games, even though i im in a mid of replay of xiii-2 and the battle is snappier & less grind requirey there)

But yeah this is a slugg i want the story to kick in already, i miss fang thats why i started replaying it😭

Psa- help me please i havent touched first game 13 since idk 2015 or something

[66junklord]

this is what peak gaming looks like.

[harukirai]

Look at me boy nanaki omg i love the attention to detail, never thought id see this day when cloud will be on those scooter thingies and nanaki would actually hold a chocobo sadle

This game gonna be so memeable in a way the fourteamstar parody of vii came to life, shinra will be creating the best memes

And cloud will beat the minigame through being the bigest meme of all😂

[harukirai]

Also i am not the only one excited for the moogle minigame in gold saucer am i?

[harukirai]

Also sidenote about the new rebirth, the snekk is a snacc.

[harukirai]

Lol my roomate asked me why i never changed my tumbler background pic of the banana fish to final fantasy/jrpg of the week to match the rest of my blog

And im like bruh this tumblr is my main since i was 13 and thought the original banana fish story was soo deep(still do bet less hyper fixated on it) that i left it as my signature background. Pfp changes whenever i have a new videogame waifu/husbando or straight up doppleganger but the only permanent thing is my background pic that probably will bever change unless my sister and i will finish our recreation project then that'll be that

[harukirai]

Have yall see the new rebirth trailer?!!!!

Omg my baby boy zack is alive 🥲

Im pretty sure kitase is the one who made the changes

Im up for it cause it does feel like a sequal to vii more than a remake.

Psa - i cant wait to stare at Vincent's butt in ✨glorious✨ HD 👁️👄👁️

[clay-cia-deactivated20170825]

Quick,You now live your icon's life,HOW SCREWED ARE YOU?

[harukirai]

Not to much, tbh thats better cause he at least can walk with no aid& can use potions to ease pain and heal. Yeah sure he does get sold by his mother to slavery but id take it any day bec my body is wrecked and i literally cant walk or even stand, not to mention sitting for too long just paralizes me and even almost 2 months after a major surgery my body still hasnt recovered enough for me to be a functioning human again. Still can sit for like only 40 minutes before needing to lay down or ill pass out frim the pain not even mentioning that trying to stand or trying to lift myself and trying to hold my weight is literally an insta knockout.

Id much rather being strong and independent and not frail and sick with a body that keeps hurting itself thanku very much.

[harukirai]

Wow, I didn't know that about Terra! I'm surprised they were so upfront about that! Maybe her girlfriend was supposed to be Daryl, or they were going to make Locke into a woman who was going to be her girlfriend, kind of like Terra was originally supposed to be a male character. It seems like the idea was reworked for Fang and Vanille's relationship in XIII. (Also Lightning seems like a lesbian.) Thanks for the reply, I'm so pleased!

Also had a similar thought, but for the love of god the only optional/implied- scrapped girlfriend i found is celes(in that one time terra played with the thought of falling in love and flirt with celes only to reject the idea of love) which is with the other guy in the end, im replaying it in english its my next game after finishing 5(which i dont have much of left of).also yeah it feels like the scrapped concept was rewritten into 13! Thats why i was so happy with the inclusion(and yeah i restarted playing 13 in english for the first time and lightning does sound kimda gay, which id preffer than the hope implication that this game have for some reason in jp. Like i love hope, he grew to be a fine man only to be put back into a child in lightning returns which for the love of god i cant stand, let the kid grow, have his relationship with lightning be maternal& non romantic please my personal headcanon is that lightning is a mother figure to hope and hope brings her softer sides, as in what babies, kitten and puppies bring out of pple and for some reason pple really do ship them and im livid. Pretty sure there's no official love interest for claire cause in the toriyama's eyes she is his wife, no man can have her thats why the only pple she is soft for is serah and hope is no threat for Toriyama)

Also im stuck in the sahz vanille segment in the forest when you change weather i hate the bosses idk why but my adult brain is somehow worse in the game then i was before(like dont get me wrong i did get stuck allot but usually in the summon fights or like later game fights idk if the xbox version is bugging on me but im seriously stuck and thats what sparked my replay of the series )

(played it on pc before so idk what i did or is the steam version easier but i wanna get to fang already and im stuck even though i looked at tutorials ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

*also just jumped to xiii-2 to replay that one on english as well(the whole xiii trilogy i experienced back in the day in japanese i think my original version was on ps3, but i lent most of my collection when my first ps3 died so ill get that back only when my cousin will visit next)

So im cringing at some of the differences there too. But on funny note i think its hilarious that vanille and fang had an Australian accent, cause in japanese its okinawan i think and the implication are hilarious. Especially on fang it sounds just 100% like she had a huge lesbian vibe in japanese as well and text wise more so but i cant her va in english did such a great job im in tears like most of the cast sounds good in the first game but the 2nd in english 8s evan whackier than the jp and havent gotten to lightning returns yet but i cant wait to see that one dog scene in english, but yeah sorry for gushing i really love thise games and its hard to find pple who played them let alone acknowledge the gays in the games especially in the western sides of the internet (like besidesa handful of actual queer players who actually got far enough in the games & few dudes who just love vannile and fang cause they are fetishizing the lesbians & ignoring the whole lot of representation the games gave us through the years- which is the problem with subtleity cause like in ffvx it was straight out changed in localization cause oh no the guys will be pissed if manly-man macho m'gee over here is fancying the glasses twink 'god forbid' ತ⁠_⁠ತ)

I just really love those game and dont get me wrong in not looking at it in queer centric goggles all the time or thats all i wanna talk about but when i finally find pple to talk about the games with usually after a while when the subject comes and im gushing about how i love fang & vanille /gladio& ignis or even now with 16's terredion pple outside of the very small queer internet bubble is usually get all pissy about it and bitter(which is shocking to happen now in 2023 but its more centered around the 'im not homophobe but not everything is about that) when dude chill all i was talking about is that hey thats the 3rd gay dragoon in a row. (Ignis is kinda a dragoon too, since his moveset with lance equipped is very similar to Arenea)

But yeah not the point so imagin my surprise actually talking about ffxiii queer reps and suddenly most ofy notes is from xiii focused blogs i was sure long dead/new ones ive never seen before.

[harukirai]

Were you kidding when you said that Terra was supposed to have a girlfriend?

No, not exactly, idr cause the last time i fund any articles about ff6 was like 10 years ago now its hard to find stuff now, but my older cousin is a massive ff fan since childhood and he is the one i got most of my info from since whenever there was a new interview or ultimania or book he was the first one to update me even though in this instance it was ten years ago and even he couldnt find this interview anymore but yeah he also remember an interview with kitase about it.

Eiter way the team left it for the player interpetation since terra is one of the few ff protags with no official love interest. Also there was that one half flirt line to celes which set the fandom on fire for awhile back then(also it was a half joke thingy like the barret date wgich i have allot to say about but i dont wanna set the fandom on fire)

Also i think i forgot to mention in my original post but in the end i think she is aro ace/very demi.(in the final cut)

(also this whole controversy happened when the gba version was released cause i think the translation was a bit different from the snes version so it sparked the controversy but as you imagine this was a long ass time ago)

*i played it first on the gba era in english(one of the few ff i played first in english since i couldnt wait a half a year to get the japanese version, also on gba its harder to read kanji since mine wasnt backlit) and my older cousin (played the jp version on ps1&sf&gba- he was the one who got me into final fantasy) so i had a chat with him to confirm this memory and he said he also thought the game implied her being either lesbian or asexual.

Im in midst of replaying the older titles in honor of the pixel remaster(but i play the ps1 versions cause its prettier 👁️👄👁️)

So ill do an update sometime when ill finish(also idk if they re translated the pixel remasters or no so my posts will be faithful to the original)

Also sorry for my bad english i suck at expressing myself via writing in all languages.

But yeah ive sent my cousin on the quest to find this iterview in the deep japanese web so good luck to us😂(i have a very severe adhd so sorry if its all over the place i tried to be the clearest i can)

*edit also- speaking wise my japanese is good enough to play games, but i suck at kanji so if there is no furigana i need to use kanji apps/ dictionarys (im mixed and wasnt born in japan so all my language abilities are through family since i live in a country that theres not many japanese mixed/asian mixed at all)

So when ill get a new pc i would rework the posts again+ gather all the links& translations ( i really wanted to take screenshotsfrom the games and edit translations and do a big post but its still on the way since i cant make it work on my phone properly but yeah its in the works for a while now i was just pissed on the huge backlash 16 got bec it had a gay kiss(idk if online but in local jrpgs groups this shit was everywhere)

So i just took all the notes i was collecting for a while and posted it in a very low quality post but yeah it was a vent post to the void mostly😂