The Sun Won't Rise

@hasufin

All in vain, they will fade away. There's only you, to answer you.

20.2K posts

Concept:

Superpowers are extremely common; it's possible that everyone has a superpower. But those superpowers tend to be hyperspecific and have no particular connection to where a person is born, lives, what they do, or their genetic background.

Things like:

Can teleport between magnetite deposits, but ONLY when the start and end point are near a magnetite deposit.

Able to speak to and command female eider ducks

Flight on the summer solstice and only on the summer solstice

Power over the waters of the Bolton Strid

The powers can be crazy strong and kinda broken, but they're also so specific that the circumstances in which they're available are generally very fleeting and in most cases it's unlikely the person will even discover they have the power at all. And no, there's no known test to find out what your powers are. You're just walking along and realize that the ducks aren't so much quacking as they are gossiping.

Is this already a thing? I feel like it's already a thing.

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

This is how I convinced my conservative grandma that the gays do also need marriage, actually. My grandad died when I was 4 and I asked her to imagine not being allowed to see him or make decisions for him or be entitled to an inheritance and she got very quiet and conceded the point. Marriage doesn't intrinsically mean anything but as a legal framework it is really, really important

This, though.

I don't give a fuck about marriage as a holy sacrament or cherishing our vows or whatever.

Marriage is a legal contract and it means if I gets in a car accident my spouse makes the medical decisions, not my parents who live over 1000 miles away.

Loving how as soon as electricity was like, a Thing, people just went "you can make toast with this" and started working on electric toasters but they didn't quite have the whole heating element thing down so there was a not insignificant chance of it just exploding

People have been making bread crunchy by heating it up for Ages but for some reason I thought electric toasters would be happening around the same time as like, refrigerators but no people went "easier crunchy bread?" as soon as the technology was available. Not even remotely safe but like, existent. It took Way longer to figure out how to make things cold with electricity

I specify electric toasters because before that they had these bad boys

You just put your slice of bread in there and hold it over your fireplace and bam it's toast time

Actually you didn't have to use those, if you find yourself wanting some toast in victorian england you could also stick your bread on one of these motherfuckers right here

These are the very creatively titled (/s) toasting forks and they look metal as hell for the purpose they serve

You might notice that the tips are bent upwards, which is actually not for inflicting more pain when tormenting the souls of the damned but rather because the bread goes on them like so

And the bend helps keep the bread from sliding off

I know this is the most niche interest shit in the world but just look at that. The victorian era had no reason to go as hard as it did but every day I am grateful for it

definitelynot-darcy

But sliced bread didn't exist until... I dunno, but it was after Betty White was born. So would the Victorians just stab a wad of bread and toast it like a s'more or what?

I don't know how to tell you that you can slice a loaf of bread

Oh, ja!

Dies ist nicht die alteste Brotschneidmaschine dass ich gesehen haben.

School of Business

Companies when they do layoffs: Employees are replaceable and interchangeable widgets. None of you mean anything. The information in your head has no value, you can be discarded and replaced without concern.

Companies on hiring: Each employee is a unique and delicately crafted puzzle piece, and we must carefully consider every angle to the micron level before we even think about putting them in place. This is a process which takes weeks, nay, months of meditation and observation. We may have to retreat to a monastery in the mountains for this process. We'll let you know if we want you to advance to the next round of screening.

"Never call a man a fool; borrow from him."

filthyprotozoan

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

filthyprotozoan

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

filthyprotozoan

yeah and im stomping you to death with my hooves

my husband put on a wig, in front of me, and i immediately got distressed and mad because it looked like a stranger was in our house and my ape brain wanted to attack

derinthescarletpescatarian

I once accidentally filled in a form using my internet name, went "that's not right", realised I didn't remember my legal name, panicked, and started filling it in with the names of everyone in my lab in order until I stumbled on the name that I recognised as being used for me.

One of our regulars shaved off his beard that he's had every day since I've known him and I had no idea who he was despite seeing him every single day until I realized I knew his order.

And there's one girl who's going through her Figuring Out Who I Am early HS phase and I keep not knowing her bc she's always got different hair and clothes.

Beginning to wonder if face blindness of some degree is actually super common and it's just that anymore people who mostly distinguish people by context and characteristic clothes are expected to identify people without those cues.

It's like... I recognize Steve at work because we're at work, he has short blonde hair, a medium build, and no facial hair. If he was next another guy at work with short blonde hair, medium build, and no facial hair, I'd know them apart, sure. I've got the comparison right there.

If I saw a guy with short blonde hair, medium build, no facial hair, but he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt instead of slacks and a polo shirt, and we were at the mall, I'd be going "Is that Steve? It might be Steve..."

Please witness this absolutely insane video of Cindy Bruna trying to get out of a car in a Giambattista Valli dress at Cannes

derinthescarletpescatarian

There somehow just keeps being More Dress

Now I'm imagining that the only way for her to get anywhere in that dress is to be in some kind of big trailer which has enough room for her to stand there.

But of course she couldn't be safely belted in like that, so that vehicle would have to move very slowly and have attending vehicles with caution signs and flashers. You'd need to have a Fashion Convoy.

victusinveritas

"Pretend the hat man is pointing a gun at you"

"That's me wearing the hat and I know it."

i just found out about this bird (scale-crested pygmy tyrant) trying to find the most biodiverse countries and i feel tears welling up in my eyes because its so cute

why does it look like that i love him so much he's a little fella

Can't get past how he's called "tyrant", though.

Corn book for young folk. 1920.

Internet Archive

So, it's exactly what it says on the cover: it is a book about how to grow corn.

succubusboyfriend

practicing self care less out of self love and more for the sheer logical reasoning of it’d be kinda stupid of me to expect myself to be able to function without proper maintenance

succubusboyfriend

“oh i don’t deserve rest and relaxation, i haven’t done enough, i haven’t earned it” and my car’s breaks don’t deserve break fluid because they aren’t breaking well enough to earn it. that’s what you sound like!!!!!

Okay but for context my father has a profitable side business built on "most people don't check the oil in their lawnmower".

So, you know, a lot of folks do apply that philosophy to everything.

we're honestly completely fucked if zombies ever discover the power of working together synchronously using an agile team collaboration framework

Not seeing the problem. We just have to wait for their weekly sprint standup and then headshot the lot of them.

should-be-sleeping

You are 60% water and every lake, river, pond, swamp, creek, and ocean you encounter wants to reclaim it desperately. Be careful out there.

should-be-sleeping

should-be-sleeping

Good, I hope it haunts everyone about to enter a body of water so bad that they wear a life jacket. 🙌

should-be-sleeping

Every single person I knew (past tense) who has drowned was "a strong swimmer." Water in the wild does not care how good you are at swimming.

should-be-sleeping

I mean this with all due respect:

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.

You may be unable to return to shore. Rescue may be unable to find you quickly.

Scheduling this for when weather starts warming up. Be careful swimming this summer

Okay. Let's be clear about "good at swimming".

You are an arboreal ape which has kludged its way into bipedal locomotion on flat land.

Sure, you may be a hella good swimmer for an ape.

But apes are, inherently, extremely shitty swimmers. There is nothing in your evolutionary history that equips you to not suck at swimming. When you say you're a good swimmer, you are rating yourself against other terrible swimmers. It's basically saying you're really good at jumping, so you don't need a parachute if your plane is going down. You're not that good. No one is that good. You cannot be that good.

thesuperheroesnetwork

Texts From Superheroes

Facebook | Threads | Patreon | Instagram | BlueSky

”It was the strangest request I’d ever heard. Damnedest thing, though, is they did find kryptonite in the kitchen. Quite a lot of it, in fact.”

Listen, just because we CALL him Captain Lead Pipes doesn't mean he doesn't know about other contamination. He's super concerned about proper disposal of HazMat.

undying-princess

laughing at a joke about the "refusal of the call" but shaking my head the entire time so the audience knows i don't approve of the monomyth as an effective structure for literary analysis

Not only will I refuse the call, I choose to persistently apply a different narrative structure to resolve the problems. I will not be going on the Hero's Journey, but we WILL be seeking the least disruptive way to restore balance.

the worst thing is when you have crumbs in your bra

also when there are crumbs in your keyboard and the keys wont work right

the two most important things in every girl’s life

the boobs and the laptop

official-boob-posts

I dropped an entire taco down my shirt last night at a bar and spent the rest of the night fishing bits of it out

also my bra got stained by the salsa and I only own three of those things

Bras are WAY too damned expensive.

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open

anomalocaris-in-da-clurb

Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.

If you grind them finely enough they burn well?

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