Hatchetfield Nerd

I post random Hatchetfield thoughts and theories. Probably fanart too. Feel free to ask my opinion on random Hatchetfield stuff.

[hatchetfield-nerd]

We’re gonna act like I didn’t disappear for a while (I’m sorry I’m in college)

HATCHETFIELD HALLOWEEN HEADCANNONS!!!!!!!!!!!🎃

Pete, Richie, and Ruth went trick or treating every year. Ted supervised until they were old enough to go alone

After Richie and Ruth died, Steph and Pete went trick or treating

Ms.Holloway gives out the really big candy bars

Duke sometimes takes kids trick or treating when there parents won’t or can’t (he took the foster girls for a while)

Lex and Hannah always had kinda bad homemade costumed, they would spend most of the month making them together since that’s all they could do

Jane was never really into Halloween so Tom always took Tim trick or treating while she watched the candy bowl

Emma fucking LOVES Halloween.

Paul was neutral on Halloween until meeting Emma. They watch shitty horror movies all night while giving out candy

Chastities are anti-Halloween, but didn’t want Grace to miss out on childhood activities so they handed out mini bibles and those little Christian packets and Grace went trunk or treating at the church (always dressed as a princess or an Angel)

PEIP has a Halloween party every year. It’s about as full out as it can get

CCRP has a really shitty Halloween “party” that’s basically some pumpkins and employees can wear costumes, only Ted actually puts effort into his costumes

LIB really like Halloween

Hidgen’s house is the one most kids are too scared to go to so the few that do get a shit tom of candy because he doesn’t want it

Steph always LOVED Halloween as a kid, she also never wore the sexy Halloween costumes when she went to parties as a teenager, so she stood out quite a lot

Probably gonna post costume headcannons later but I have class soon lol

[hatchetfield-nerd]

Paul def had the gift as a kid.

No i will not explain this is simply fact

[geekgirl750]

Say what you want about The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals and Black Friday but Nerdy Prudes Must Die is truly the darkest timeline because it doesn't feature Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel™️

[hatchetfield-nerd]

NPMD is the only musical we see without peanuts and PEIP. It’s also the only one where the world doesn’t end. There maybe implications here however I am too sleepy to look at them for now. Perhaps tomorrow when I do not have school

[hatchetfield-nerd]

Okay but where did everyone’s jackets go in Black Friday.

At the line at the beginning we clearly see everyone has a winter coat on (because it’s November duh) But minutes after intermission both loose them and never get them back. Like Becky is in short sleeves girl has to be freezing. I mean Tom was stabbed so Becky probably took it off to help him but why did she take hers off and why’d they leave them when getting their clothes on after they you know what

Lex interestingly has the opposite in Doors are open and feast or famine her jackets off because she’s working and can’t wear it but in act 2 she has it and not her toy zone vest so at some point inbetween the riots and getting kidnapped she ran to the back and changed into her jacket.. why didn’t she idk leave! Leave through the back door of toy zone run in a different door grab Ethan and Hannah and fking get out of the mall.

TLDR jackets are dumb

[pigeonqueen13]

What would Lautski’s last name be if they got married?

Lauter

Spankoffski

Spankoffski-Lauter

Lauter-Spankoffski

Another last name (put in comments)

Voting ended onMay 24, 2025

[hatchetfield-nerd]

Steph would get rid of Solomon’s name ASAP

[musicaljam]

Curious...

Quite curious..

no but seriously how was nobody talking about the exact same colours

[hatchetfield-nerd]

There are so many implications to be read into from the background colours and descriptions!

[hatchetfield-nerd]

It’s my Birthday so fun thing

Hatchetfield Birthday Headcannons!

Before Lex was able to work she and Hannah had a tradition of having a small party late at night when their mom was asleep. There were no decorations and usually the “cake” was just some sandwich with a candle but it was still special.

When Grace was about 7 she had a birthday party and invited her whole class but only Steph showed up. Steph didn’t really want to go her dad made her and she kinda hated the whole thing but Grace thought it made them best friends and still thinks that.

Tim’s birthday after his mom died was the first time he met Emma. She was awkward and Tom clearly wasn’t a fan of hers but she got him a nerf gun so he was a fan. (Emma had no idea what to get him and googled “what do you buy a seven year old boy for his birthday” and just went with something cheap)

Tom was the first person aside from Hannah to get Lex a present for her birthday. He got her a small multitool for camping and such. She still keeps it on a her key ring.

Ted has a tradition of getting Pete the shitties stupidest Spider-Man toy he can find.

Since no one knows her past Ms.Holloway tells everyone who asks a different birthday. Duke’s heard at least 5 different dates and gets her a small gift every one just in case it’s the actual birthday.

Paul hasn’t celebrated a birthday since he turned 19. He just kinda forgets until someone mentions the date and he’s like “oh shit I’m 30 now. Anyways”

Jane is scarily accurate with mailing birthday cards. Even when Emma didn’t have a regular address and no way to know how long the mail would take it always arrived on the exact date. (Headcannon based on my grandma)

Feel free to add more, I might throughout the day.

[duke-keane-irl]

Why does papa Ed look so sad? Like his hair is a fucking mess, he's never smiling, during what if tomorrow comes he's all hunched over. Bro looks like he's constantly fighting demons

[nabwastaken]

Well he owns Peanuts and is presumably always harassed by the press about her, so that can take a toll on anyone

Also he's canonically a war veteran so that can't possibly be good for his mental health

[hatchetfield-nerd]

When was this said?? This is cannon what?

[hatchetfield-nerd]

No but I actually squealed

[fillyreports]

In my heart and mind the Clivesdale vs Hatchetfield beef is entirely one-sided btw

[hatchetfield-nerd]

I like the idea that most people in clivesdale forget about Hatchetfield unless they’re having a crisis

[marias-new-blog-ig]

The Lords in Black swearing will never not be funny to me. They're literally this pantheon of ancient interdimensional eldtrich forces fueled by chaos and violence but they'll call you a bitch and tell you to fuck off

[hatchetfield-nerd]

You’re forgetting the best part. They’re both horribly evil and calculatedly cruel, and they act like children 50% of the time.

Also they have spot on sibling dynamics.

[hatchetfield-nerd]

There are a lot of songs heavily implied to be Diegetic.

“I bet this song will suck”

“Oh god she’s snapping again”

“Singing all these songs gives him greater windows to kill, But we're singin' still”

Come to think of it Paul does seem different in this one…

Hmmm….

Definitely no implication to think about

[hatchetfield-nerd]

Headcannon

John MacNamera has a flip phone

[that-bookworm-bitch]

michie movie night! this is sorta based on this post by @hatchetfield-nerd

https://www.tumblr.com/hatchetfield-nerd/780006921492135936/this?source=share

Plus some doodles of the main post

[hatchetfield-nerd]

What if the VCs of The Solve It Squad did infact make their own squad because they were the same age as the kids they voice acted, and the VC of Scrags did infact get a dog and named him Cluebert

They just did things like “Who stole that one book from the library” and stuff like that but then what happened to Cluebert in canon happened to their Cluebert and then they just stopped.

Cue twenty years later they are just how The Solve It Squad ended up. Gwens VC continued acting, Keiths VC was a one hit wonder with The Solve It Squad and ended up selling old merch for a living, Esthers VC ended up in ykw and Scrags VC started working for the FBI

This is actually such a cute idea

[hatchetfield-nerd]

With Cinderella’s castle coming out (I’m obsessed it’s so good I’m gonna post more thoughts either tomorrow or Sunday on my main (@kittenpaw10) if you wanna know my thoughts for some reason)

Thought it would be fun to share what I think other Starkid and TCB shows could be in cannon to the Hatchetfield Universe

Cinderella‘a Castle - Storybook like a grim fairytale. (Lex loves it, Ted read it to Pete as a kid one summer when he was home but stopped after Ella died because he had to go back to school and forgot Pete refuses to read it again, as a kid Max dared other kids to read it but never actually read it himself he just heard it was scary, Steph read it as a kid on a dare (from Max) and then was terrified that Solomon would date a troll and she would be like Ella.)

VHS Christmas Carols was a straight to VHS film that became a cult classic (Duke had a copy as a kid and loved it, Ms.Holloway has a copy and plays it on Christmas Eve at Ms.Retros)

Trail to Oregon is an actual stage musical (Bill accidentally bought tickets for him and Alice when she was little. He still isn’t sure how the Annie tickets he got off Facebook marketplace were not what he wanted but Alice enjoyed it)

Solve it Squad is a cartoon show (Pete and Ted watched it once when Pete was like 6 and Ted turned it off after 10 minutes because Pete pointed at scrags and said “he looks looks like you” Ted still refuses to watch it.

Spies are Forever is actually history. It’s mostly known through letters and journals written by Owen and Curt but a book was written about it in 1970. No one knows who wrote it. (Lex picked up the book for a while but was never able to finish it, Ruth, Richie and Pete read the book together, Richie didn’t believe it was actually history because of how oddly parts were written, Pete really liked it and got into the actual historical research trying to prove Richie wrong and Ruth wished it had a sex scene.)

LMK any other ideas off this concept I’ll definitely be adding more since I think it’s fun

[that-bookworm-bitch]

I can’t stop thinking about how all the parodies ( Harry Potter the musicals, holy musical Batman and Ani) are bootleg movies in old blockbuster that never got shut down on the side of town, sometimes Richie goes there for random old anime that never got released to America and grabs the set for movie night one night. They originally watched them ironically but Pete got really into them and eventually showed them to Steph. She doesn’t really understand but finds them funny It’s their ritual to alternate which movie to watch every Friday.

[hatchetfield-nerd]

This.

[hatchetfield-nerd]

With Cinderella’s castle coming out (I’m obsessed it’s so good I’m gonna post more thoughts either tomorrow or Sunday on my main (@kittenpaw10) if you wanna know my thoughts for some reason)

Thought it would be fun to share what I think other Starkid and TCB shows could be in cannon to the Hatchetfield Universe

Cinderella‘a Castle - Storybook like a grim fairytale. (Lex loves it, Ted read it to Pete as a kid one summer when he was home but stopped after Ella died because he had to go back to school and forgot Pete refuses to read it again, as a kid Max dared other kids to read it but never actually read it himself he just heard it was scary, Steph read it as a kid on a dare (from Max) and then was terrified that Solomon would date a troll and she would be like Ella.)

VHS Christmas Carols was a straight to VHS film that became a cult classic (Duke had a copy as a kid and loved it, Ms.Holloway has a copy and plays it on Christmas Eve at Ms.Retros)

Trail to Oregon is an actual stage musical (Bill accidentally bought tickets for him and Alice when she was little. He still isn’t sure how the Annie tickets he got off Facebook marketplace were not what he wanted but Alice enjoyed it)

Solve it Squad is a cartoon show (Pete and Ted watched it once when Pete was like 6 and Ted turned it off after 10 minutes because Pete pointed at scrags and said “he looks looks like you” Ted still refuses to watch it.

Spies are Forever is actually history. It’s mostly known through letters and journals written by Owen and Curt but a book was written about it in 1970. No one knows who wrote it. (Lex picked up the book for a while but was never able to finish it, Ruth, Richie and Pete read the book together, Richie didn’t believe it was actually history because of how oddly parts were written, Pete really liked it and got into the actual historical research trying to prove Richie wrong and Ruth wished it had a sex scene.)

LMK any other ideas off this concept I’ll definitely be adding more since I think it’s fun