This has been a rewatch of the SyFy show Haven, which ran from 24th November 2023 to 4th July 2025. (That’s the rewatch, the show itself aired 2010-15.)
There probably won't be many new posts here, but feel free to interact with the existing ones. I'd still love to hear people's thoughts on any of the episodes!
I might also still be reblogging Haven content. Because what else is there to do when you get to the end of Haven but start right back at the beginning again!
GO FOLLOW THIS ACCOUNT IF YOU WANT HAVEN TO GET A REBOOT/SPINOFF!!!
This was the surprise Eric and Lucas kept alluding too. This is it! If we get as many people to follow this account as possible they might bring Haven back!
With characters like Jean Mitchell Crocker and a new Wournos! Use the tags #BringHavenBack or #BringBackHaven to spread the word and get as many people on board!
In which the cast talk about having had conversations with the show creators, Sam Ernst & Jim Dunn, about rebooting the show. Like they actually sound kinda serious like there's potentially a chance of this actually happening.
Anyone on instagram go follow BringHavenBack immediately.
GO FOLLOW THIS ACCOUNT IF YOU WANT HAVEN TO GET A REBOOT/SPINOFF!!!
This was the surprise Eric and Lucas kept alluding too. This is it! If we get as many people to follow this account as possible they might bring Haven back!
With characters like Jean Mitchell Crocker and a new Wournos! Use the tags #BringHavenBack or #BringBackHaven to spread the word and get as many people on board!
I'm sorry if anyone was expecting the transcript for the next episode of Band of Brothers. I've done the thing I always do where I slide right out of one obsession and into another: Haven. I honestly doubt that anyone will find these useful because I am convinced I am the only person that has ever watched this show. But I'm really only doing this for myself because I fucking love this show! I highly recommend it. It's free on Tubi in the UK (I don't know about anywhere else, sorry, because I am from the UK). But anyway, here you are!
Agent Howard: Agent Parker?
Agent Audrey Parker: Oh, no. No, no, no.
Howard: Agent Parker? Where are you?
Audrey: God, it's kind of early, isn't it? (Audrey opens the door) Hey, boss.
Howard: Couldn't wait. (Howard steps inside) It's impressive how little you've done with so little.
Audrey: Well, it's what I do with all the vacation time that I don't get. Hit a bunch of outlet stores and furniture shop with all the guys that I don't meet.
Howard: Never took you for, uh teenage vampires.
Audrey: Oh, well, you should see what I read on the plane.
Howard: FBI is nonfiction work. I need you to keep it that way.
Audrey: Is this about Miami?
Howard: Oh, yeah. I'm talking about Miami. We've been through this.
Audrey: You know, being open to possibilities is how we close cases, like that one.
Howard: It sends you down blind alleys too.
Audrey: Yeah, well, where I grew up, a blind alley was even better than reality. So, uh, where are you sending me this time?
Howard: Haven. Maine. (Audrey starts packing) Hometown of one Jonas Lester. He escaped a federal lockup 19 hours ago. Killed a guard doing it. Find Lester. Bring him back. Nothing else. That's your reality. (He hands Audrey the file) You're a good agent, Audrey. And someday, maybe, you'll be a great agent. Just focus on the job.
Audrey: Put the book on the table when you're done with it.
(A man runs through the forest after someone, holding a gun)
Lester: Stop! Stop, damn it! Stop! Stop, damn it! Don't make me shoot you! (The gun flies out of hand. He is then flung off the cliff) Ahhhh! (The figure of a man stands over the cliff)
(In Audrey Parker’s car, on the way to Haven)
Radio Man: This just in. Six of Tommy Bolt's seven missing fingers have been returned. This is Ryan Wisely on WDLH, the voice of Haven.
(Audrey changes the channel. A crack forms in the road and Audrey swerves to miss it, her car crashing into the barrier on the road and hanging over the edge)
Song on Radio: # Love. Love will keep us together. Think of me, babe, whenever. #
Audrey: Okay.
Song: # Some sweet-talkin' girl comes along. Singing a song #
Audrey: Uh-uh. No. There's no way I'm dying to this.
Song: # Stop. 'Cause I really love you. Stop #
Audrey: All right. Um- (A man knocks on the passenger side window) God!
Nathan Wuornos: You need some help?
Audrey: No. No, I'm all right. Thank you. (The man walks away)
Nathan: Oh. Okay, then.
Audrey: Gah. Unbelievable.
(The man appears at her door and gestures for her to unlock it. He opens it and helps her out.)
Audrey: Woah!
(The car plummets down the side of the cliff)
Nathan: Shame about the car.
Audrey: Eh, it's a rental.
(Nathan notices the gun on her belt and quickly pulls out his gun. Audrey does the same.)
Audrey: Whoa! FBI! Who are you?
Nathan: Haven PD.Who are you?
Audrey: FBI.Are you deaf?
Nathan: How do I know that?
Audrey: Okay, well, for starters, I'm wearing the gun on my belt.It's a government-issue nine millimetre. And they gave me, you know, one of these. (She reaches into her pocket)
Nathan: Hey, keep your hands where I can see them.
Audrey: Okay, what am I going to do, pull out another gun? (She pulls out her FBI identification) All right. Come on, I showed you mine.
(Nathan pulls out a badge, Audrey stares at it he then turns it round, showing the ID card on the back)
Audrey: Okay. (They put their guns away) So, uh, are all your roads this bad?
Nathan: Sandstone. Likes to shift.
Audrey: Uh-huh.
Nathan: Can I give you a ride somewhere?
Audrey: I guess it's friendlier than if I commandeer your vehicle.
Nathan: Probably less paperwork too.
(Nathan opens the car door for Audrey and she gets inside)
Audrey: Thank you. (She then slams the car door on his fingers) Oh! I'm sorry.Are-are you all right?
Nathan: It's all right.I didn't feel it.
Audrey: Huh. Tough guy, huh? Hey, uh I don't suppose you've seen a guy named Jonas Lester recently?
Nathan: Just left him.
(On the beach next to Lester’s body. Audrey examines it)
Chief Wuornos: Well, keep looking all you want. This man's pretty dead. Tends not to change much.
Nathan: Chief Wuornos, this is-
Audrey: Special Agent Audrey Parker.
Chief: Oh, it's the FBI. Well, is this one of those situations where you're here claiming to help, but you're really just here to step on my toes?
Audrey: Not in these shoes. I came here, actually, looking for him.
Chief: Yeah. Yeah, we got the alert when Jonas, here, escaped.
Audrey: The Bureau thought that he might return to his hometown. I guess he did. Ah! Somebody missed something. (She finds a piece of paper on the body) There's writing on it.I can't read whatever this is, but it's worth checking out.
Nathan: I'll get it to the lab in Bangor.
Chief: Well, why don't you enlighten us? What does the FBI Special Agent have in the way of insight?
Audrey: Well, his injuries don't suggest a struggle. I don't think he was dragged here.
Nathan: You don't?
Audrey: He died last night. But your guys are going to have to give us the exact time. At first glance, it looks like he fell from up there, but his body is way too far from the edge. You know unless there's a cannon up there or something. Anyway, I'm not sold on it being an accident.
Chief: You're over-thinking this. The best thing Jonas Lester ever did for this town was die. So as far as I'm concerned, we're done.
Audrey: He killed a federal employee, so my investigation isn't done until I know why he came back here and what happened to him.
Chief: Nathan, get yourself a real crime to investigate here, eh?
Nathan: Chief, how about I show Agent Parker around while we tie up the loose ends?
Chief: Go ahead. Waste his time too. He's got nothing else to do with it.
(Audrey dials a number on her phone and Agent Howard answers)
Howard: Howard.
Audrey: It's Parker. Lester's dead.
Howard: How'd it happened?
Audrey: Well, they're calling it an accident, but something doesn't seem right.
Howard: Sounds right up your alley, Agent Parker.
Audrey: Chief Wuornos doesn't think so.
Howard: I trust your instincts.
Audrey: I'm working with a local uh- detective, uh-
Nathan: Wuornos.
(Nathan and Audrey are climbing up a cliff)
Audrey: You call your dad the Chief?
Nathan: I call my boss the Chief. He's a stubborn man.
Audrey: What's his deal? Is he testing me?
Nathan: Not you. Me.
Audrey: Hey, no offence, but half the reason I want to solve this case is just to piss him off.
Nathan: And it would.
Audrey: I guess that's one advantage of being raised by the state: not much parental conflict.
Nathan: So you're an orphan?
Audrey: I'm a free agent. (She looks at a sign) Tuwiuwok. Is that Native American?
Nathan: Micmac, yeah. It means "Haven".
Audrey: It's easier to spell, I guess. Huh. This must be Lester's footprints. It looks like they're chasing a second set right here. And Lester's end abruptly, here.
Nathan: Could be.
Audrey: Uprooted trees? Well, that-that's strange. You guys get tornadoes up here this time of year?
Nathan: Maybe one a year.
Audrey: Really? 'Cause something did a number on these trees.
Nathan: No wind last night. I already checked.
Audrey: You did?
Nathan: Couldn't find a cannon either.
(Nathan picks up a hat and Audrey picks up a gun with a pen)
Audrey: Now we're talking.
Nathan: Nice gun, though Lester wasn't shot. (He holds up a hat) I did find this.
Audrey: A hat?
Nathan: I know a guy who wears a hat like this.
Audrey: So do I, but that doesn't make it evidence.
Nathan: Well, Lester stole all my guy's money.
Audrey: Well, okay. So that makes it evidence. Let's go talk to your guy.
(In the car)
Nathan: Welcome to Haven. You like pancakes? We got good pancakes.
Audrey: What about lobster? I mean isn't Maine famous for lobster?
Nathan: I don't like lobster. I really like pancakes.
Audrey: I like the truck.
Nathan: Thanks. Had it since I was 19.
Audrey: How do you keep a car that long?
Nathan: I don't drive off cliffs.
(Out of the car in Haven)
Audrey: So uh- who's this hat belong to?
Nathan: Conrad Brower, Gulf War vet, local handyman. Went into the service with Lester. Conrad came out an unemployed hero. Lester came out a loser with computer skills. Did time for stealing VA benefits from guys he was in with.
Audrey: Including Conrad.
Nathan: Hey, Conrad.
Conrad Brower: Nathan.
Nathan: Helping Marion again?
Conrad: That's what I do.
Nathan: Found your hat up on Tuwiuwok Bluff.
Conrad: Thanks. Appreciate it.
Audrey: Uh, were you out there yesterday evening? (Audrey steps closer and Conrad freaks out)
Conrad: Maintain the perimeter. Please.
Audrey: What?
Nathan: Uh, Conrad has personal space issues.
Audrey: Right. Pardon me, Mr. Brower. Any particular time you were planning on answering my question? (She holds up her FBI badge)
Conrad: I was up there this morning. I like to watch the boats head out. Forgot the hat, I guess.
Audrey: And you never saw Jonas Lester?
Conrad: Not moving.
Audrey: But you did know him.
Conrad: You mean the service.
Audrey: Right. And then when he got out, he stole all your money.
Conrad: Not just mine. I know where you're going.
Nathan: Conrad. Yesterday, late afternoon, evening, where were you?
Conrad: Digging clams. Out to Edgewater Bay. Till sunset.
Audrey: All right, you speak monosyllable. You want to try to break through his perimeter while I go inside and talk to the shop owner?
Nathan: Sure.
(Audrey heads round Conrad and towards the store)
Conrad: Where are you going?
Audrey: Uh- Mr. Brower, if you have something that you want to tell me, you go right on ahead. (A sudden fog moves in from around them and encloses around them) That's weird. Conrad? Conrad!
Nathan: He's gone.
Cyclist: Look out!
(Audrey notices a lorry heading towards Nathan)
Audrey: Nathan! Watch out! (She tackles him out of the way)
(After the fog)
Doctor Eleanor Carr: Congratulations, Nathan. Now you get to come back with me for an MRI. Another.
Nathan: Lucky number nine.
Eleanor: Yeah. Cheer up. The tenth one's free. (She turns to Audrey) He's a regular.I'll be back in a jiff.
Audrey: So you seriously can't feel pain?
Nathan: It's called idiopathic neuropathy.
Audrey: You really couldn't feel it when that car door hit your hand?
Nathan: No.
Audrey: Can you feel fire?
Nathan: No.
Audrey: Ice?
Nathan: Oddly yes. I can feel ice.
Audrey: You can feel ice?
Nathan: No. I can feel a headache coming on, though.
Audrey: Hey, so that was strange. I've never seen fog like that before.
Nathan: Maine gets lots of kinds of fog.
Eleanor: All right. Get in the back.
Nathan: Oh, I can drive myself.
Eleanor: I'm not arguing with you, Nathan. The back.
Audrey: Go. I'll call the Bureau then check out Conrad's alibi.
Nathan: Eleanor, you're overreacting.
(Audrey calls Agent Howard again)
Howard: Howard.
Audrey: Agent Howard, yeah. I'm still here. I haven't found anything, nothing relevant anyway. But I'll keep in touch.
Howard: Okay, bye.
Vince Teagues: You must be Agent Parker. I understand you're investigating Jonas Lester's death.
Audrey: And you are
Dave Teagues: Dave Teagues. My brother, Vince. Publishers, editors, and every damn thing else in the Haven Herald.
Vince: We thought Lester would be our lead, but now it'll be the fog.
Audrey: Yeah. That fog was strange, right?
Dave: Well, welcome to Haven.
Vince: I keep feeling like I've seen you before.
Dave: Didn't sound creepy at all.
Vince: Oh, Lord. It does, doesn't it?
Dave: Only because you said it, Vince. How about we drop by later and you can answer a few questions about the case?
Audrey: How about I just call you?
Vince: Oh! Fierce, isn't she?
Dave: Well, change your mind, drop by.
Vince: We serve Mai Tais at 3:00.
Audrey: Okay.
(The two of them pick up a two seated bike)
Vince: I want to ride in the front this time.
Dave: No, no. I always ride in the front.
Vince: Well, it's my turn now.
Nathan: Agent Parker. MRIs are overrated. Let's go talk to Marion.
(In the store)
Marion Caldwell: Nathan. Is everyone all right out there?
Nathan: They will be. This is Audrey Parker with the FBI. Marion Caldwell.
Audrey: Hello.
Marion: This is my friend Ted Ford.
Ted Ford: Hello.
Audrey: Is this Santa Barbara?
Marion: Yes. Have you been there?
Audrey: Twice. Once for a paedophile, the other for a serial killer.
Ted: Marion and I are thinking of moving there and buying a shop.
Audrey: Oh! Oh. It's beautiful. It's beautiful, and it's a lot safer now.
Marion: Well, we're just flirting with the idea.
Ted: Marion lost her mother not long ago, and, well, I think the change will do her some good.
Marion: Ted's had antique shops all over, but I've never left Haven, so it's a big step.
Audrey: Uh, Conrad Brower, he works for you, right?
Conrad: Yes, he does. He's been very helpful since my mother passed.
Audrey: And how well do you know him?
Marion: Oh, we grew up together.
Ted: What's this about?
Nathan: Do either of you know Jonas Lester?
Ted: The guy who died? I heard about it.
Nathan: (Nathan’s phone rings) Excuse me. Hey.
Audrey: Do you know where Conrad was last night?
Marion: Yes, I dropped him off at the Edgewater Beach to go clamming. He made me stay for the first bucket. He's so thoughtful that way.
Audrey: I'm sure he is.
Ted: Whatever you might be thinking, Agent Parker, Conrad's a solid guy.
Marion: Oh, he just couldn't be involved. Conrad is the gentlest man I've ever met.
Nathan: Excuse me. We need to go.
Audrey: Thank you. Okay, you know, this better be good, because Marion might have more to tell me about Conrad.
Nathan: Gun trace came in. Belongs to a guy I know. Duke Crocker.
Audrey: You like him for this?
Nathan: I don't like him, period. (They arrive at Duke’s boat) Okay, now.Let's see what we're smuggling this week.Hello? Duke! (He pears into the control room) Duke! Ugh.He's not here.Everything about this guy is a pain in my ass.
Audrey: Why? Because he wasn't home?
Nathan: Because he's unreliable, untrustworthy, a total waste of-
Audrey: Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it. Wait. Where are you going?
Nathan: To look for Duke under the usual rocks.
(Back in the shop)
Marion: The police were just here looking for you.
Conrad: You shouldn't be talking to them.
Marion: Conrad, this isn't good.
Conrad: Marion, you trust me, don't you?
Marion: Do you remember when we were kids? You taught me how to swim. You remember how afraid I was to go under the water?
Conrad: You did it eventually.
Marion: Yes, because I was safe with you. I have always trusted you. But this thing with Lester, I don't know.
Conrad: Then let me handle this myself.
Marion: I'm afraid, Conrad.
Conrad: So am I.
(On the pier. There’s a storm raging)
Audrey: He hasn't shown up here either. Tell Howard that I'll just touch base with him later. Perfect. Thank you! (It starts hailing. Audrey runs along the pier but a bolt of lightning strikes in front of her and she falls into the water. She wakes up naked on a boat)
Audrey: Oh, damn it. (She creeps out onto the deck; a man is sitting there) You took my clothes.
Duke Crocker: Good morning.
Audrey: You took my clothes.
Duke: Well, now, I laundered your clothes. And I saved your life. That's an odd combination when you think about it. I mean if you think about it.
Audrey: You must be Duke.
Duke: Milk one sugar, right?
Audrey: No. No, and why would you know how I take my coffee?
Duke: I wouldn't. But it would have been cool if I did.
Audrey: (She takes the coffee and starts getting dressed) Do you know Jonas Lester?
Duke: Hmm. I know he's dead. (He counts on his fingers and then stops) That's it. Just dead.
Audrey: You might want to rethink your answer.
Duke: Oh. Really?
Audrey: Yeah, your gun was found where he died.
Duke: That doesn't sound like me.
Audrey: Well, you know, everybody makes mistakes.
Duke: I didn't make that one. My gun was stolen.
Audrey: Okay, so of all the guns in the world, he stole yours.
Duke: Yep.
Audrey: That's convenient. And then you didn't report it, which is also convenient and illegal.
Duke: Well, now, actually, I did report it. Nathan didn't mention that part, did he? I thought as much. So are we good?
Audrey: Well, if you're telling me the truth, we might be. Nathan really doesn't like you.
Duke: Oh and let me guess what he said. Uh "He's unreliable, dishonest, and a general pain in the butt.”
Audrey: “Ass”. Yeah, he said "ass”.
Duke: Wow. And strangely, I was going to say that. I was.
Audrey: Was he right? Is the weather ever normal here?
Duke: It's, uh normal for Maine.
Audrey: 'Cause this damage, this is odd. And I need to get a bird's-eye view picture of this. Ugh. Oh no. My cell phone. Oh, crap, it's-
Duke: Oh, yeah. It's toast. But I, uh I got you another one. (He pulls it out of his pocket)
Audrey: A princess phone? Seriously?
Duke: You really need to work on your thank-yous.
(At the station)
Nathan: I don't care if he reported it. It's his gun, and he needs to explain it to me.
Audrey: Well, you know, you could have told me that before I went and talked to him. The guy's not all bad. He saved my life, and then he served me coffee.
Nathan: I've known him since he was 5. He's all bad. What's this?
Audrey: Instant hailstorm. The fog starts in town and then heads out to sea. There's something strange going on here, right?
Nathan: So what? It's weather. It's weird. Bangor forensics restored the paper we found on Lester's body. Turns out, it's from the tide calendar on Duke's boat. It's boring, but it's real evidence.
Audrey: Wait. No, no. Wait. 2-5-7-8-9. What do those numbers mean?
Nathan: That's what I plan on asking him. You coming?
Audrey: No, you go. I got enough to take care of between Conrad and the weather.
Nathan: Suit yourself.
Chief: So have you managed to turn your accident into a murder yet?
Audrey: Good to see you too, Chief.
Chief: Or are you still wasting Nathan's time?
Audrey: Actually, I have a few leads, and your son just linked the tide calendar that we found on Lester's body to- Tide calendar (She searches on the computer)
Chief: Oh, your meds just kicked in, did they?
Audrey: Hey, can you go clamming at Edgewater Beach at high tide?
Chief: Depends on how long you can hold your breath.
(Outside of Marion’s store)
Audrey: You lied to me, Conrad. I know you weren't clamming. Makes me think you were up on that cliff with Lester.
Conrad: You don't understand.
Audrey: No, I understand you lied to me, you had Marion lie to me, you had plenty of reasons to kill the man who ruined you.
Conrad: Respect the perimeter!
Audrey: How did you get him so far from the cliff?
Conrad: Please, stay away.
Marion: Agent Parker, leave him alone.
Conrad: Get away-
Audrey: Tell me! (She suddenly gets blown back into a car. It then starts snowing.) Whoa!
Marion: (She looks horrified and runs into the store) Stay away from me!
Conrad: Marion, listen to me!
Audrey: Don't you move!
Conrad: It was an accident! I didn't mean to do it.
Audrey: Do what, exactly?
Conrad: Kill Jonas Lester!
(Back at the station)
Audrey: What's he doing here? Never mind. I can guess.
Nathan: What happened to you?
Audrey: You won't believe me when I tell you. Just let Duke go. Conrad's our guy.
Nathan: Don't think so.
Audrey: Did your guy confess?
Duke: Uh, no. No, he did not.
Nathan: Conrad? Are you saying you did this?
Conrad: Yeah, Nathan. That's what I'm saying.
Duke: (He leans across the table to Conrad) Thank you, sir. (He stands up and holds his cuffed hands out to Nathan) Can I go now?
Nathan: (Nathan pushes him back down) Sit down. Conrad, come with me.
Audrey: I know you didn't kill Lester.
Duke: Well, that's fantastic. I'll buy the first round.
Audrey: I also know that Nathan's right and that you saw Lester.
Duke: Okay, here's the thing. I have a rule. Well, it's more of a guideline, but I don't talk to cops, even cops that I like.
Audrey: I could have a customs agent assigned to you and only you. What do these numbers mean?
Duke: Nice photo. I think an apology from Nathan might help me remember.
Nathan: Fine. I apologize.
Duke: For?
Audrey: Don't push it.
Duke: Look. Lester wanted me to run him up to Canada.
Nathan: Yeah?
Duke: Yeah, but smuggling escaped felons is not on my to-do list.
Audrey: All right, the 2-5-7-8. Is that a partial phone number? Social Security?
Nathan: If Lester was looking for a boat, maybe it's a registration number. Want to make this easy for me?
Duke: No. I mean, not particularly.
Nathan: Fine. Harbor Master will tell us the rest.
Audrey: Do you mind taking care of that yourself?
Nathan: Are you really buying this story of Conrad's?
Audrey: Nathan, what happened to Lester, it happened to me, okay? He just- he blew me down the street.
Nathan: Blew you down the street?
Audrey: Listen, I can't even begin to explain it, all right? But it happened, and it happened to me. I know it sounds crazy, but I can't even believe I'm saying it.
Nathan: Oh. I can't believe it either.
Audrey: So what am I supposed to do? Just pretend that it didn't happen? What kind of cop does that?
Nathan: You know how that will sound on a witness stand.
Audrey: Listen, I know that I don't have it all together, and I'm just trying to figure it out. So I'll go keep working Conrad's story, and you check out the docks.
Duke: Excuse me. Uh I mean, you guys are going to let me go first, right?
Both: No.
(In Marion’s store, Ted hangs a necklace with a key around Marion’s neck)
Marion: What's this?
Ted: That is 3,000 square feet on State Street in Santa Barbara.
Marion: Oh, my God!
Ted: If we can put the deposit down, we could be sipping margaritas before you know it. What do you say? What do you say?
Marion: Yeah, I think it might be time. Yeah.
(At the station, Audrey sniffs and finds some essential oils on Nathan’s desk. She puts them away in a drawer)
Dave: We gave Nathan that, you know.
Audrey: Well, they're kind of fragrant.
Vince: Not our taste either.
Dave: But when you only have four senses, you make the most of them.
Vince: We have a little present for you.
Dave: Vince, relax. It isn't a puppy. Here. (He hands her an envelope)
Vince:This could be why I thought I recognized you.
Audrey: Oh. (Inside is a newspaper article titled “Who Killed the Colorado Kid?” and in the photo a woman who looks a lot like Audrey is standing holding a kids hand over a body)
Dave: We found that in our newspaper archives from 27 years ago.
Audrey: Who is she?
Vince: I was hoping you could tell me. Do you have family around here?
Audrey: Uh I don't have family anywhere.
Vince: Are you still puzzling over that fog?
Audrey: Oh, more than just the fog. Did Conrad Brower ever make the paper?
Dave: It's easy enough to check our archives if I can use your computer there.
Audrey: Oh, yeah. Go ahead. (Dave logs into the Haven Herald) Wow, that's impressive.
Vince: You should see him use the Google machine.
Dave: You're hilarious. Conrad Brower. Any particular context?
Audrey: Weather.
Vince: Oh, I how this girl thinks.
(At the docks, Nathan looks under a tarp on a boat)
(Back at the station)
Vince: Nothing much on Conrad, just the usual returning war hero piece.
Dave: A beautifully written war hero piece.
Vince: Obviously, he wrote it.
Dave: Huh. Those weather patterns of yours turned up, though.
Vince: There's that interview Harold did with the Hastings family in 1956, right after they moved here from Calerin, Georgia.
Audrey: 1956?
Dave: They were the only survivors of a freakish series of storms that destroyed their hometown. Daughter was a cast-iron bitch.
Vince: Dave!
Dave: Well, she was. It was a blessing when she kicked off recently.
Vince: The granddaughter is lovely, though.
Audrey: Guys.
Dave: Well, it must have been the Caldwell part of the family.
Audrey: Caldwell? Do you mean Marion Caldwell?
Both: Yeah.
(On the phone)
Nathan: I traced that number. Lester ended up with another boat.
Audrey: What did you find?
Nathan: Marion Caldwell's financials. Lester came back to Haven for her money, specifically the two million dollars her mother left her.
Audrey: That fits. We were wrong. Marion wasn't protecting Conrad. Conrad was protecting her all along. You know I think Marion was on that cliff with him.
Nathan: That makes perfect sense. And Lester had a partner. He got all this information about Marion from-
Audrey: From Ted.
(Audrey phones Marion)
Marion: (Answering the phone) Hello?
Audrey: Marion? It's Audrey Parker.
Marion: Oh, Agent Parker, I'm sorry, but I can't talk right now.
Audrey: Okay, Marion, listen to me. I know you were up on that cliff with Lester.
Marion: How did you know?
Audrey: It doesn't matter. Lester was after your inheritance.
Marion: I don't understand.
Audrey: Marion, he was working with Ted.
Marion: What? No. I don't believe that.
Audrey: What were you doing up there that night?
Marion: I was supposed to go meet Ted to go star gazing, but he never showed up.
Audrey: Yeah, Ted got you up there, and Lester was going to take care of the rest.
Marion: No. No.
Audrey: Have you given Ted access to your money lately?
Marion: The deposit. (She goes to check her bank and sees no money in there)
Audrey: Marion? Marion?
Marion: I have to go. Now!
Audrey: No. Marion, wait! Hello? Marion! Hello? (She rings Nathan) Nathan? Marion is going after Ted, and she doesn't know what she's capable of. She could hurt him and a lot of other innocent people.
Nathan: How are you going to find her? She could be anywhere.
Audrey: (She looks up at the sky) I know exactly where she's going.
(At Ted’s house)
Marion: Ted!
Ted: Marion!
Marion: Where are you going?
Ted: Just going on a small business trip.
Marion: Really? With three bags? And all my money?
Ted: Marion, it's not what it looks like!
Marion: It was all lies, wasn't it? You never loved me!
Ted: Marion, please!
Marion: Don't!
Ted: Marion, I've done nothing to-to harm you!
Marion: Liar!
Ted: (He aims a gun at her) Marion, I'm leaving now. (The gun flies out of his hand) Marion! I'm sorry!
Marion: You’re a liar!
Audrey: Marion.
Marion: This doesn't concern you!
Audrey: Look around you, Marion! All of this is you. (Nathan pulls up and Ted shoots him. Nathan tackles him and arrests him) Marion, listen to me. You've hurt people, and you're going to keep hurting people. The wind that killed Lester, the fog, the hail? All of this, you're doing this. You need to make it stop. Let it go. Just let it go. (Marion pulls the key out of her pocket and cries) I know. I know. It's okay .It's okay.
(At the beach)
Conrad: You should get this car fixed up.
Audrey: Hertz is gonna put a hit out on me. Hey, when you were up at Tuiw-um –
Conrad: Tuwiuwok. It means-
Audrey: Haven.
Conrad: The full name means "Haven for God's Orphans.”
Audrey: Orphans?
Conrad: Yeah. People liked "Haven" better.
Audrey: Yeah, I suppose they would. You know, I know why you were up there that night.
Conrad: To keep an eye on Marion. I always have. I didn't trust Ted as far as I could throw him.
Audrey: Or uh- maybe you just loved her? It's time to step up, Conrad.
Conrad: How's that?
Audrey: I could put her in jail, but what would that solve? If Marion lets her emotions get out of control again, a lot of people could get hurt. Only three of us know what she can do, but only one of us has a real chance of making her happy. She needs somebody to keep her safe but most importantly, calm.
Marion: I should have listened to you.
Conrad: It's okay. I'm not sure I would listen to me either.
Marion: I won't make that mistake again. (She reaches for his hand, and he pulls away) Oh. I’m sorry. The perimeter. I know.
(Audrey brings flowers into the Haven PD and sees Nathan lying on a couch)
Nathan: Lilies and lilac.
Audrey: You're an odd man, Detective. How's your shoulder?
Nathan: It's all right.
Audrey: Oh? Tough guy.
Nathan: So- so you tie up the loose ends on Lester?
Audrey: He and Ted worked it from the start. Then Lester got picked up on a routine parole violation, then broke out so Ted wouldn't walk off with his share.
Nathan: How's Marion doing with all this?
Audrey: She's still grappling with the idea that she affects the weather.
Nathan: You still believe that?
Audrey: And you still don't? When you've ruled everything else out, you have to accept what's left.
Nathan: Guess I'm not ready to rule everything else out yet. I know that picture.
Audrey: You do?
Nathan: Mm-hmm. Colorado Kid murder. Chief was a beat cop on the case. He never solved it, which I try and remind him of whenever I can.
Audrey: The Chief? You mean your dad?
Nathan: I mean the Chief. Can I see it? She looks like you.
Audrey: Yeah. Yeah, I know.
Nathan: So what do you think? Is she your mother? An aunt?
Audrey: I really- I don't know. You know, every other kid I knew dreamed that their parents would come and claim them, and then they'd turn out to be rock stars. But I- I just dreamed that- You know, never mind.
Nathan: Too late to stop now.
Audrey: I dreamed that my mother would roll up in a big bus, and she would rescue every kid in every orphanage in the world and bring them home.
Nathan: Might be a good idea to let that one go.
Audrey: Yeah, well, I wish I could.
(On the phone at the place in the picture)
Howard: Howard.
Audrey: Hey, boss. You know that vacation time I never take? I need a few weeks. There's just something I need to look into.
Howard: No problem. You deserve it. (He looks out at Audrey on the pier and phones someone else) She's staying.Maybe she can help you with your troubles.
Having listened to all of the Haven DVD Commentaries, and watched all of the extras, I’ve learnt maybe not quite as much as I’d hoped about some of the plot choices in the show, but definitely more than the nothing I started off with about how TV shows are made.
And I’ve often been amused, surprised, and occasionally slightly horrified by some of the stories told.
So here, in no particular order, are some of the ones that have stuck in my head;
The time they nearly did a ‘There’s Only One Bed’ plot with Duke and Nathan in Resurfacing. In fact, there were two possibilities - Nathan and Duke spending the night in a motel that only had one room left, or Nathan and Duke having to spend the night together in the bronco 🤣. In season one!! Ah, it could have been so good!!! 💕
The time Emily was incredibly sea sick and having to go lie down between takes when they were filming The Trial of Audrey Parker on the slightly dilapidated and rocky boat out at sea.
The time Emily injured her knee, could barely stand up and was only able to walk around by clinging on to all of the actors she was in scenes with (luckily they were all taller than her with nice broad shoulders to hold on to 😆)
The time Adam had to go lie down between takes because he was really ill with a high temperature (life before covid was wild, huh?)
The time Lucas fell off his bike one weekend in LA and gave himself a massive black eye and cut across his eyebrow a mere day or two before having to be back on set filming 🤕. Not only that but the hospital nearly shaved his eyebrow off to stitch up the cut - a fate from which he was only saved by his cosmetic surgeon friend finally getting off his surf board long enough to return his phone call and do the stitches instead. (Can you imagine Lucas turning up to set one day with an eyebrow missing? Sounds like his black eye gave the makeup people enough work to do as it was, and I don’t see any way they could have written any of this into the plot. He was so lucky 🍀.)
The time there was nearly a Trouble that would have sent the whole of HPD completely feral to the extent of Gloria actually coming on to Duke and then trying to literally stab Charlotte with a scalpel
The time Jess was originally supposed to get killed off, a fate from which she was only saved by the intervention of some senior executive at the last minute 👏
The time the whole cast, crew, and Nova Scotia weather went out of its way to support Lucas Bryant in his directorial debut 🎬
The time the location they filmed the haunted house episode in was an actual haunted house and the local paranormal society came out to set to warn them that they didn’t think it was safe for them to be there and gave them info on what they should do to avoid being affected by real life ghosts 👻 The look on Jason Priestley’ face (he directed the episode) when he’s being told he should maybe stop production because of ghosts is priceless 🤣
The time they took all of their sets apart in the middle of season five and moved them an hour up the road to Halifax, because Chester needed its ice rink back. This presumably-massive project was helped somewhat by the writing - for instance we never see the inside of Audrey’s apartment again, or the Rouge, and when we do see inside the police station it is either being affected by an earthquake Trouble or attacked by zombies, so there is a handy plot-related explanation if something looks a bit battered or different. But still - they dismantled all of their sets, cleared everything out of the ice rink they had been using to house them, transported it all up to the new site, reassembled some of them and built new ones (amazing ones like Croatoan’s flowery-wallpaper attic room and the inside of the old armoury) in the middle/end of a twice-as-long-as-usual season 🚛🔧 . That’s got to be a Lot of work, I’m tired out just thinking about it
The way that some key aspects of backstory were much more flexible than I would have assumed - the story of how Nathan’s Trouble was triggered was changed at the last minute, and the story Duke tells Mara about his mom wasn’t mapped out ahead of the script actually being written
The time a vital and unique prop nearly went on a comic con tour across the country when it was actually needed on set for filming 😆
And then, if you’re in the mood to get your heart crushed … read on for a couple of absolutely heart breaking possibilities for the second half of 5B that I personally am quite glad did not make it into the final version …
HAVEN rewatch - the two-part series finale; Now & Forever
I've been having a pretty stressful, irritating and emotional few weeks, so what better way to cheer myself up than by watching the final two episodes of Haven 😬
NOW
“We’re going to get Duke back” - I love Nathan’s eternal optimism
Croatoan thinks he can design the whole world in a way that makes sense to him, including what other people do and say. It’s a nicely-done sinister kind of bad guy. The Troubles allow him to create things, and so he thinks he can create the whole world, including the emotions of the people already in it.
Croatoan is so angry when Nathan turns down his copy. The first real chink in his plan to remake the world to his will.
“I should have killed you when you were a statue” - a nice little reference there to a plot point that was drafted for Blindspot but (thankfully) not included in the final script.
I find Audrey’s use of “destiny” in this Trouble-wrangling speech to Duke quite odd. She says she’s fighting her destiny, but she isn’t - she’s fighting the Troubles and that is her destiny. That’s what she was literally created to do, as she says so herself in this same speech.
Duke never gave into his destiny either; he never killed for fun or for the high like Simon and Wade and who knows how many other Crockers before them did. This thing with his black eyes is something new; something Mara created, something she did to him. It’s not just the standard Crocker Curse that he was born with.
And then - that moment where Croatoan realises he’s lost Duke, where he realises that not only has Nathan turned down the ‘gift’ of a fake Audrey, but also Duke has turned down the ‘gift’ of the Crocker Curse. This moment, this frown where Croatoan’s faith in his ability to shape the world to his own liking is cracked a little bit more. He thought Duke - this mere Crocker - was his creature and nothing else could have dissuaded him of this notion that he can do what he likes with his creatures as much as Crocker turning this gift down.
“You have to let me help. I need to make things right.” / “You will.” I like to think that Audrey’s reply there was in response to Duke wanting to help, and not the needing to put things right because, he hasn’t got anything to atone for.
“What can we do?” - Audrey, you are the only person in the room who can control aether. Why are you asking the others what to do about the aether flying across the room.
Lucas Bryant’s acting is so spot on in this death scene. And after. That, “At sea” 😭😭😭
Such a fun scene of Nathan and the Audrey Copy in the diner.
And then Croatoan getting even more sinister. This ‘no one else loves you like I do’ nonsense; such a good Bad Guy.
FOREVER
I love how the Audrey Copy proves to Nathan she knows him, “... our sex life in the beginning was a little exciting, and for you, maybe it was a little too exciting…” 😆
And then the real Audrey challenging Croatoan over his manipulation of Dwight with the Lizzie Copy. Croatoan’s baffled frown as that crack in his faith in his plan gets a little deeper.
Dwight’s Trouble making him effectively invincible, love it.
I’m no expert but a tall thin tower like this seems a very odd design for an armoury. Perhaps there used to be more of it and this is all that’s left? The rest destroyed in some previous round of Troubles?
The inside of the Barn is such a good set. Very spooky and surreal.
Another crack in Croatoan’s faith in his plan when Dwight explains why he’s turning down his ‘gift’ of Lizzie.
I was watching Dwight wake up on the beach and I had actually forgotten what happens next …. DUKE! Looking even more stylish dead than he did alive.
I love this scene with Nathan outside the shroud. His “I feel something”, him remembering the warmth of the sun, remembering Haven even when he can’t remember it, remembering the real Audrey even though he doesn’t know she’s not stood right there with him. But then, ultimately she does do what the real Audrey would do; she steps closer and sees the shroud and remembers - and she tells him, just like the real Audrey would have done. “I was to be her for you” - what a plot twist - “you sensed that somehow”. The man who can’t feel anything feels that this copy isn’t perfect. And she takes him through the shroud, knowing that not only will that mean her losing him but will mean her dying, but she does it anyway because, “Because I love you.” And! Then! One of my favourite moments in the whole show, when Nathan remembers everything and he turns to the copy to thank her, and her response in the moment before she fades from existence; “We love you,” the only explanation she has for why she’s done what she’s done - a simple explanation that to her is more than enough reason for why she would choose to die, and the expression on Nathan’s face in that moment … that realisation, that … you can almost hear the penny drop when it finally, finally clicks and he truly feels it in his deepest heart that Audrey loves him the same way he loves her. In one way he’s had so much confidence in them for so long, but in another way that confidence has been really fragile. This nagging doubt that maybe he loves her more than she does him (that same doubt that William had about Mara), or that she would always put the Troubles before him. But now, in this moment when this almost-perfect copy tells him, as though it’s so obvious it hardly needs saying at all, that of course she would give her life for his happiness - this, I think, is the moment that he really truly feels that full faith in her love for him for the first time. (I’m not sure how much sense I’m making here but I’ve written a whole load of meta on this theme for anyone who’s interested; https://archiveofourown.org/works/43553142 )
Gotta wonder how Nathan’s “she wasn’t real” lands with Dwight, given the whole Lizzie situation.
WHY CAN’T NATHAN SEE DUKE????????????? Is it just because they didn't have time in the episode to deal with Nathan having a conversation with him
Dwight’s “He says ‘go get her Nathan, save her’” I don’t think I’d realised before, that echoes Nathan’s words to Duke at the end of season three. “Go get her Duke, save her,” - that’s what the wounded Nathan says to Duke when he tells him to follow Audrey into the collapsing Barn. That exact same phrase, that has to be deliberate.
Fabulous look of horrified incomprehension on Croatoan’s face when he sees Nathan has rejected his ‘gift’ to come back to Haven for the real Audrey. Those cracks are really piling up now.
And then Croatoan’s big mistake, when he kills Nathan. Something Audrey is never going to let him get away with. And she turns on him and uses her words the way she has done for six seasons to get through to people and dissect their emotions. Those chinks and cracks that Duke and Dwight and Nathan have created, she hammers against them with her words until he gives in, but no amount of hammering would have worked if those cracks hadn’t already been there. It’s just her and Croatoan there in that moment (Nathan dead on the floor), but it was a team effort that brought him down; all four of them together.
“What about you, are you even real? Because I don’t think this is something the real Duke Crocker would do.” - come on Dwight, you’re smarter than that. Think about what he’s saying to you.
Gotta love William Shatner calling Vince by talking into the controller crystal like it’s a Star Trek Communicator 🤣
“We'll always want more time. The trick will be being thankful for the time we had.” 😭 but, you know, that is quite a solid philosophy for life.
This goodbye is so beautiful, not just what Nathan says to Audrey, what it means between the two of them, but also what it means for Haven; the images of Marion Caldwell and Chris Brody, the Glendowers and Seth - everyone getting their lives back. Beautiful, beautiful.
And then, once all the drama’s over, these final scenes in the police station; Stan’s summary to Nathan with a whole list of names in it just so they could reference all the writers, love it.
Plus one final ‘gas leak’ 🤣
And, then, LAVERNE!! We actually get to see her face 😀
Some nice news from Gloria; the end to the Troubles. And is this the first time Gloria calls Vickie ‘Vickie’ and not ‘intern’?
Sound advice from Gloria too; do what Audrey would want you to do.
Oh god this final scene, I can’t. It’s so well done. Lucas needs some award of some kind for this acting. Flustered and amazed and optimistic and overwhelmed. “I’m a Nathan.” Adorable. “Um humm. Yep.” Perfect.
And Croataon gets the perfect punishment having to spend an eternity in an empty room with Vince. (Though I do feel sorry for Vince in this scenario; he might not have been perfect, but he didn’t deserve that.)
Every time I watch these episodes I think I’m not going to cry this time.
And every time I prove myself wrong.
😭
There's only one solution of course - start right back at the beginning again!
With Nathan sent outside the shroud with Croatoan's copy of Audrey, the real Audrey considers her limited options for how to deal with Croatoan and the aether that's flooding into Haven.
She talks to Vince about the possibility of Dwight handing over the controller crystal to Croatoan to save Lizzie, as they try to work out what Croatoan wants with it and whether it is still any use to them in building a New Barn with the aether core destroyed...
I'm not going to try and summarise the whole episode here. Suffice to say it's about as emotional as TV gets. I'll be back once I've finished sobbing 😭
With Croatoan!Duke collecting Troubles and Dwight processing the resurrection of his daughter, Audrey asks Vicky to use her Trouble to fix the broken aether core. Vicky's drawing is almost complete when Croatoan!Duke catches up with them in the police station.
Buckle up folks because things are about to get a lot more emotional.