But thatās not a good parallel at all. You canāt compare calling SpriteĀ ācokeā like a lawless heathen to the classic linguistic phenomenon of generic trademarks / proprietary eponyms, and Iāll tell you why:
āJell-oā is a brand name under which multiple flavours of gelatin (and pudding/custard) are produced. There isnāt just āJell-oā and then special āstrawberry Jell-oā; the name has never denoted just one specific flavour.
āPopsicleā is the same as Jello, it was never a name for just one flavour of popsicle.Ā Ā
āKleenexā is a specific brand of tissues, but itās not inherently that distinct from other tissues. They are all lightweight tissues used to blow your nose.
āScotch tapeā is used to refer to any tape that is like the original scotch tape, i.e., clear, thin, small, sticky on one side. We donāt call allĀ tape āscotch tapeā. Electric tape, duct tape, and packing tape are all their own things, and anybody who calls any of them āscotch tapeā has no regard for their fellow man and ought to be thrown into the sea.
MEANWHILE, Coca-Cola is a specific kind of soda with its own distinct flavour. When Coca-Cola makes other flavours, theyāre called āvanilla Coke,ā ācherry Coke,ā etc. but āCokeā is still its own standalone flavour, a wholly other Thing apart from the āspecialā flavours the company produces.Ā
It would make far more sense if people usedĀ ācokeā the way we useĀ āscotch tapeā; that is, to denote only those sodas that are similar in appearance and taste to Coca-Cola (Pepsi, RC, Shasta Cola, etc.). I could see all of those being lumped in under a generic termĀ ācokeā. I could evenĀ see it being extended to all brown sodas, even though comparing Root Beer to Coke is like comparing a badger to a zebra just because theyāre both black-and-white mammals. Youāre on thin fucking ice but at least thereās stillĀ some semblance of logic.
But no. You southerners, who bask in your sun and heat and chew upon your wheat stems with the indifference of an armadillo in the face of oncoming traffic, you whoĀ revel in lawlessness and chaos, youĀ linguistic delinquents who fear neither God nor man,Ā
you are really going to look at a list of drinks that includes such variety in taste and apperance as Sprite, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, Orange Fanta, and Dr. Pepper, andĀ call it allĀ āCoke.āĀ
Youāre going to picture, in your mind, a clear, lemon-lime fizzy drink and requestĀ ācoke.ā And then when askedĀ āwhat kind?ā you will not sayĀ āCoke Zero,āĀ āDiet Coke,ā orĀ āCherry Coke,ā no. You will answer āSprite,ā like an animal, like a feral possum who knows the ways of right and wrong and chooses wrong just to spite its creator.Ā
And then you have the gall to say itās an eponym as valid asĀ āJelloā. No. You tossed your logic into the dumpster fires of the underworld long ago, you cannot justify it now. You cannot tell me you donāt know your own crimes. āItās all coke,ā you say, and you taste the sin of it on your tongue, and you laugh. Know this, that you are inviting judgment upon yourself and one day you will be devoured by the sun.
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