joyce tried her damndest to keep a steady voice. their arguments hushed whispers especially so late at night, both boys tucked safely into their beds. home sloshed again, using the wall to keep himself upright, lonnie spews insults and slurs and when they’re aimed at her they bounce off thick skin - nothing she hadn’t heard time and time again. it’s the boys’ names that she doesn’t allow to ever leave his mouth, not without feeling the wrath of a mother scorned. and so she shoved, and the prodded and words of damnation were spit out with venom only reserved for lonnie byers, all until he stumbled onto the porch and lit up a cigarette, the front door locked behind him. he’d be pounding soon enough, his keys on the entryway table, but she was going to bed.
head poked into will’s room, tiny frame still tucked into a bed too big for him - he insisted he was ready for a big boy bed like his brother, he hadn’t lasted a full night in it since - fast asleep, breathing slow and steady. across the hall she found the opposite, jon upright and slumped against the headboard and she couldn’t quite tell but his cheeks looked damp. joy closed the door behind her, making her way over to sink down onto the edge of his bed “i’m sorry, my love…” fingers reach to brush too long bangs from his sleepy eyes, pausing with his words.
heart sinks in her chest as she sighs, crawling into bed beside him to wrap an arm around him “ jonathan . . . you are everything good. ” soft kiss to his hair “ your dad is . . . god i’m so sorry you heard him. he’s mean and he’s hateful and *nothing* he says has any weight in the world because he’s wrong, and he’s simple, and he doesn’t deserve the good he has right here. ” little poke to his chest, arm squeezing him closer “ there is no such thing as not good enough. not here, not to me. ”