Did you ever just feel so lucky for knowing someone you met online? Like.. I was one click away from not following you. I was one second away from never even knowing of your existence. I would never have been this happy.
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Discoholic 🪩
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
trying on a metaphor
Keni
Three Goblin Art
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
taylor price
One Nice Bug Per Day
sheepfilms
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Product Placement

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Today's Document
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we're not kids anymore.
h
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@hawkspirut
Did you ever just feel so lucky for knowing someone you met online? Like.. I was one click away from not following you. I was one second away from never even knowing of your existence. I would never have been this happy.
You're asexual? But...
“but sex is what makes us human!”
in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his
doctoral dissertation under
heavy mortar fire.
he sends it by mail, a page
at a time, to his wife.
a week before he’s to step up to the podium and
defend his work rather than hiscountry
he is killed in action.
even as the bullets rip
through him he still wishes he could have become a professor
in French literature and
the university awards him a posthumous Ph.D.
sex is
a woman breaks down in tears on the phone because
a week is not enough time to
get over a breakup.
her sister drives an hour across town,
comes up the front steps with
a gallon of ice cream and somebeer
and together they eat moose tracks and marathon
every
single
Godzilla movie
ever made.
sex is
she’s late for work but her car isn’t
starting and even through her coat and hat she’s cold.
she knows she can’t be late again because she’s missed
one time too many already because her
father’s nurse was sick with the flu and someone
needed to help him bathe.
the clock ticks past fifteen after and she hits
the wheel like it’s a heavy bag as though that will help
steps on the gas like the car will go
and wonders how she will pay rent
and how she will feed her father.
sex is
it takes three people to hold the predator down because
even with the cover over his head
a bleeding eye and shattered wing
he is trying to hurt them.
none of them have seen this bird before in their lives but
they bandage his wing and head and give him a painkiller and
put him in a warm place to sleep and heal because
it is right.
at first he is paralyzed and cannot
fly but soon he is taking steps
and then fluttering, and then soaring, and
six months later he is whole and healed and hunting.
once he is gone they never see him again
which means they’ve done their jobs right.
sex is
in 1969 a girl watches grey-and-white footage on her parents’ tiny television and
can’t quite believe that what she is seeing is not a movie set but
another planet.
the men on the screen look a little like
aliens with bulbous heads and no faces and fat
marshmallow arms
but they are still men.
her mother puffs on a cigarette behind her and declares that
this is progress
even if it was just a small step.
the girl grows up to be not an astronaut but a secretary
and her boss calls her ‘sweetheart’.
but sex is
a boy is taught that real men don’t cry so
he doesn’t.
when his best friend dies from a self-inflicted
gunshot wound, he locks himself
in the shower every day and sobs under scalding
water until it runs cold
so nobody will see him grieving
so nobody will see that tears are just love that
has no place left to go.
he learns to dull love rather than suppress its expression and
soon the owner of the liquor store knows him by name.
three DUIs, two evictions, and twelve steps later,
he is feeding people at a homeless shelter,
and telling them it’s all right to cry.
Sex is
the broken man tells the comedian
that he didn’t mean to step in front of the car but the rain
made it hard to see.
he seems okay but his leg
does not.
the comedian clutches a grubby receipt with the driver’s
plate number scrawled on the back
in pink pen, stands out in the rain so the broken man
can have his umbrella,
and gives him the comedy routine that ruined his career
so the man doesn’t think about the pain in his leg.
once he’s out of the hospital, the fixed man sends him a thank-you card
with kittens on it.
what makes us human
yawning is contagious,
and there is a species of bird whose young we call “pufflings”.
melodic collections of sound, spaced by silence,
can move us to tears.
the tallest building in the world is
two-thousand seven-hundred and seventeen feet tall.
in less than eighty years we went from our first powered flight
to touching the moon,
and in one-hundred from the first phone call
to instantaneous connection between thinking machines of our own creation.
we make pies out of tree organs
and let cow’s milk ferment until it hardens and then
we put them together, because apple pie with cheddar cheese is delicious.
what makes us human is
the earliest fossils of anatomically modern humans are
two-hundred thousand years old .
we have had pet dogs
for sixteen-thousand of those years, longer
than corn
or the wheel.
the steps we take are part of
one of the most energy-efficient gaits the
animal kingdom has ever seen.
we invented the concepts of love
and hate
and justice, and mercy
and we invented the language to convey them.
we sharpened rocks, then metal, to convince other people
who don’t hold the same idea of those things as we do
because we think
it’s right.
we are two hundred millennia of love and disappointment and
sorrow and innovation and
mercy and kindness and dreams
and failure
and recovery.
but sex is what makes us human.
obsessed w this. the fact that brennan is quite literally speechless.
This is the funniest addition to this post
the “bad guys” in hallmark movies end up always being the most respectful men ever.
because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.
and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.
and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”
and then, after finding out his entire relationship was a lie and he had his life turned upside down in a week and he got dumped on christmas, this guy’s just like “ok yeah that makes sense. i only wish you the best of happiness with mark. i hope you guys build a great life together in christmastreefarmville. thank you for everything.”
An AU where two Hallmark Christmas Bad Guys are both getting flights back to New York after being dumped by their respective Smalltown Blonde Girlfriends, and they bond over their shared experiences and fall in love in the departures lounge
@teashoesandhair your wish is my command :)
Probably, Levi should be more upset.
Probably he is still in shock. Right? He looks out of his taxi window (it's not technically a taxi, just some guy named Corey who offered him a ride to the airport, because Uber doesn't operate in fucking Tinyville, Bumfuck Middle-Of-Nowhere, Utah) and tracks water droplets racing each other down the glass, because of course it's raining, and his bad knee is killing him.
Levi sniffs and rubs at his eyes and then pulls out his phone and books a ticket back to New York, wincing as four hundred and twenty-six dollars are deducted from his bank account.
And, like, he should definitely be more upset.
He just got broken up with. He was engaged, for God's sake. A four-year relationship… over. Just like that.
Corey says, "Ten minutes to the station."
Baldur's Gate 3 fancomic commissioned by the lovely @askweisswolf , thank you for this opportunity, for your support and for letting me draw cute orc noses!!
can’t get over how fucked the three city blocks of Baldur's Gate we explore is. vampire den, mummy lord, hag lair, no less than two cults, haunted mansion, a demon lord whoring it up, evil clowns. is the rest of the city normal. why do they have a Spirit Halloween district.
Help why is this so funny
just discovered something really good
"donate to gaza" "humanitarian aid to gaza" "raise money for gaza" and egypt, gaza's neighbor that has the only border through which aid can get through, cannot currently get aid through to gaza because israel is refusing to let the trucks pass. the gate was supposed to open three hours ago in a deal struck between egypt and the US to let foreign gaza nationals out and humanitarian aid in. now israel is denying it. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's office said in a statement: "There is currently no truce and humanitarian aid in Gaza in exchange for getting foreigners out." and this is after israel bombed the border crossing three times in the past week. this is the reality that's happening right now. the tonnes of aid that countries are donating, the money the EU is promising, all of this is NOT GETTING THROUGH TO GAZA. if egyptians cannot get through to gaza, nobody can!!!!! the only fucking way this happens is through international pressure to hold israel accountable and that is currently not happening!!!
this is genocide. israel is a fascist state with genocidal maniacs in charge, and they want gazans obliterated, they want gaza gone. this is genocide happening right in front of us. and the entire first world has sanctioned it.
ONLY POLITICAL PRESSURE ON THE ISRAELI GOV IS GOING TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW:
USA Citizens sign here for a call to Congress: Stop the Gaza Genocide
Tell your members of Congress to stop fueling the genocide in Gaza.
UK Citizens sign this template to email your MP
The UK government must act urgently to protect Palestinians civilians and health workers.
In Western fanfiction, sad men are so popular that we’ve developed a rich vocabulary for describing particular flavors of sadness, such as whump and hurt/comfort. Fan favorites are often incredibly sad. Supernatural maintained its fanbase through steadily providing crying men, men too repressed to cry, men extracting bullets from their own bodies while shirtless, etc. An intense amount of erotic interest was directed toward Jonathan Sims, an unpleasant middle-aged man with almost no coolness or devotion who happens to spend all his time getting kidnapped, stabbed, burned, threatened with murder, enslaved by a cosmic horror, devoured by worms, lost in two different pocket dimensions, and almost transformed into clothing.
-Ozy Brennan, Romantic Tastes of Women
middle aged????
EROTIC ATTENTION?!
NO DEVOTION?!?!
hahahahaaaa get safe and cared for, idiot
BBC Merlin except they all come back in 2012
just got jumpscared at work today
Absolutely nothing worse than finding out that you share interests with someone you hate. Has you thinking things like fuck you I'm better at enjoying star wars than you are
Redditors are struggling in ways that we cannot even imagine here on tumblr Island
bbc merlin is a fun silly show that begs the question what if you were given a destiny you didn’t understand and you betrayed yourself time and time again in what you think is a selfless act of love that will serve a greater purpose, only for that to be the exact reason you fail and the undoing of the person you love most. and then the random filler episodes are like this witch is doing terrorism in camelot by sneaking magic mushroom bombs into the soup and merlin has to gaslight arthur into thinking he doesn’t like mushrooms or something idk
houseplant type friend