Izu

|| Thought dumps || Wasting my life away ||

[hayaseizu]

I’m afraid of growing old and dying without ever truly creating something of value.

[hayaseizu]

I forgot this existed. I used to like tumblr because it was a place to write random thoughts or feelings that would be weird to post on Facebook or any other kind of social media, but has more “exposure” (for lack of a better term) than just writing it down locally or on a private blog.

I can’t tell if things are getting better or worse. I guess both in different ways.

[hayaseizu]

I was shuffling through itunes, and I happened to land on an old liquid Drum & Bass track. Liquid DnB was basically my gateway drug for electronic music back in like 2010 or so when I first went to college. If I wasn’t so tired, I’d do a longer write up about all of that shit, but this was a major nostalgia trip, and to be honest I still really enjoy it, especially in times like these.

Sometimes I just want to float away and never come back.

[hayaseizu]

[hayaseizu]

I fucking hate everything. Sometimes I want to crawl into a tiny ball and disappear.

[shinat0se-deactivated20190118]

©不二

[hayaseizu]

This song always makes me happy for some reason. Just something about that lead feels so chill, welcoming and laid back.

[hayaseizu]

Everything sucks.

[lesstalkmoreillustration]

Juan Osorno

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[hayaseizu]

This song is everything right now.

I feel like I’m in a very weird place at the moment. Not necessarily a bad place, nor is it good. Just...weird.

[hayaseizu]

I feel like I have so much to write and talk about, yet I can’t find the words. I wish I could express the jumbled up mix of elation, relief, worry, sick-to-my-stomach anxiety, happiness and everything in between. I wish I could express how this song makes me feel. I wish I could explain everything.

[astronautly]

[hayaseizu]

Turning up is fun and all, but sometimes my ideal Friday night also involves finding good music, looking up fashion inspo albums and looking at pictures of succulents and aesthetic living space layouts.

[hayaseizu]

Whatchu’ waitin for?

[hayaseizu]

One more week until Autumn officially begins. Sure, having to rake up leaves sucks, but just think of the layering, Earth tones, scarves, textures, crisp air, cloudy mornings, coffee, tea, sweaters, socks, hot soup and cuddling. 

I enjoy some of the old and I enjoy the new. And if I can find a balance between it, that’s where I find my satisfaction

[hayaseizu]

One moment I just want to be away from people and left alone, the next I deeply crave some kind of intimacy. Not sexual, just...emotional intimacy? Like we don’t even need to talk or anything, we just need to be. 

[hayaseizu]

Got me feelin’ some kinda way