rooh

||20|| INFP || reading poetry and admiring the skies

[hazel-spirit]

my own death doesn't scare me, but yours

Darling, that's my deepest and greatest fear.

[hazel-spirit]

who said parents don't change for you?

mine have started texting me instead of calling cause they know I have an abrupt sleep cycle,

words of affirmation have started to pour,

how they have seen better in me and told me that has evolved,

And the point that makes me want to smile and do better is:

My Dad sending me a 'good' in text and a laddoo sticker while my mother listens to my rant of results and cries cause happy tears.

[hazel-spirit]

I'm too blunt I'm aware

Doesn't make me want to give you less care.

Why would you for one second think I'd call you fake when I just had an insecurity scare.

[hazel-spirit]

Bhul jaati hun ki Ghar mein nahi h koi apnane wala, yah aise jis sey apne Dil ki baat khul ke kar sakun, kyunki galat toh main hmesha rahungi hi, khush hone aati hun Ghar mein, har dafa akele aansun ponch kar wapas chali jaati hun.

[wedarkacademia]

[hazel-spirit]

at this point I need to work on me rather than wait for them to come around for some sentiments

[hazel-spirit]

I really need somebody to remind me just because they haven't talked to me today in a while does not mean that they don't love me or even care about me.

[hazel-spirit]

I hope by some miracle you can read the letter which I wrote for you in my notebook

[hazel-spirit]

I have a notebook and novel in my bag each time I am out somewhere, not necessarily to write or read in the crowd but when I tend to stop feeling  they bring me back from the other side of the oblivion

[hazel-spirit]

maybe it's the transition from what I am to what I am supposed to be that I feel this loneliness at a deeper level

[hazel-spirit]

It's poetically sounds broken how when you felt and envisioned that you're made for this isn't actually made for you

[hazel-spirit]

didn’t know you leaving would affect me so much, not knowing what to do without is killing me, having to live without your presence is living death

[hazel-spirit]

I’m scared

I’m so scared that my fingers are not working anymore, I am so scared that I have no clue what my breathing pattern is or if I am breathing even. I have never been able to handle this on my own. I care for someone and they have some problem or they are hurt by me kills me. I am scared of opening up all over again because forever and always is just meant in books. I love like a hopeful lover but I shatter like glass.

[hazel-spirit]

when I used to miss someone I used to come and tell you, now when I miss you dearly I don't know who to speak about you to

[hazel-spirit]

When I used to miss anyone I would come to you, now when I miss you dearly I don't know who to speak about you to<3

[hazel-spirit]

the fact I want to be a grade A student have the perfect balance between work and life, be consistent in my works and always be ahead of my deadlines. Have fun in my daily life, ace my tests, develop my skills but the fact of not wanting to do somethings at a stretch will be the death of me

[hazel-spirit]

forever seems like a word for memories not people