chasing pavements

Should I give up, Or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere, Or would it be a waste?

[hbucameron-blog]

he doesn’t have much time to himself. with school, work, and the extra hours put in so that he could have the future he always sought out for himself, there was little to no time for cameron to relax and just enjoy the present time as it was. so a night in the bookstore with a novel in his hands, delved into a well-written story for the past hour or so was something he treasured – something he didn’t want disturbed. so of course he raises his gaze with a less than welcoming expression, eyes evident with annoyance as he greets the stranger with disinterest. ‘ —- that’s nice. ‘ it’s all the person’s getting and that much already is a more gracious reply than cameron felt necessary to give. his gaze flickers back to the page he was on, moving to more comfortably adjust himself with the book hidden behind his bent legs that were drawn up on the chair. 

[magnetxc]

       well then. that’s never happened before. the frown       is there for less than a second before he’s straight-       ening himself out again, throat clearing as he lets       out an almost wounded sound. handling rejection is       something baz knows absolutely nothing about, be-       cause his face never lets him down. what is wrong       with this boy? his fingers wrap around the smooth       wood of an empty chair just as he decides to try ag-       ain. “  — i uh. i was wondering if you could help me?       you do work here, right?” forcing someone to spend       some time with him is probably a bad way to go ab-       out it, but his morals are clearly lacking and the boy       should know this. his face changes in an instant —       going from doe-eyed and interested to only slightly       irritated, eyebrows raised as he waits for the other       to answer his question.

[hbucameron-blog]

is this really necessary?, is all he’s able to ask himself. looking for some peace and quiet, one would expect a bookstore to be a perfect location. and it wasn’t private information to know not to disturb a stranger while they were reading in the corner during a light rain that pitter-pattered against the window behind him. he doesn’t get what reason the other has behind approaching him, a look of disbelief meeting the changing of expression. it read annoyed; and now so was his. ( at least a bit ). “ ---- no? “ was that not PLAINLY obvious by which position he’d found cameron in: sitting with a book in hand, loitering the establishment. “ why ---- no, i don’t work here. “ 

[magnetxc]

@hbucameron

His job had always been somewhat easy. It was simple, come in, take some photos, get out. That’s it. That’s all he had to do. He never pictured finding himself stuck  smack dab in the middle of a creative rut, alas, he was here, entering a tiny bookshop in hopes of finding some sort of inspiration between the many pages hidden inside the small space. The bell above the door announced his arrival but he was almost certain nobody inside the shop actually noticed. It must’ve been a good few minutes, fin- gers gliding across the backs of the many books stored as he walked, his old boots barely making any sound wh- en touching the floor. He had convinced himself he was alone in the store by then, the place so quiet Baz couldn’t even hear a single soul, but himself, of course, breathe. It was then that he noticed him, sat across the room with his eyes on the pages of an unrecognizable book. The raven haired boy’s reaction was almost automatic, the way he immediately straightened himself out as he moved closer.  “Love this book. One of my favorites.” He commented ab- out an unknown work when he was close enough to touch the cover, lips pulling back to reveal a set of perfectly wh- ite ivories.

[hbucameron-blog]

he doesn’t have much time to himself. with school, work, and the extra hours put in so that he could have the future he always sought out for himself, there was little to no time for cameron to relax and just enjoy the present time as it was. so a night in the bookstore with a novel in his hands, delved into a well-written story for the past hour or so was something he treasured -- something he didn’t want disturbed. so of course he raises his gaze with a less than welcoming expression, eyes evident with annoyance as he greets the stranger with disinterest. ‘ ---- that’s nice. ‘ it’s all the person’s getting and that much already is a more gracious reply than cameron felt necessary to give. his gaze flickers back to the page he was on, moving to more comfortably adjust himself with the book hidden behind his bent legs that were drawn up on the chair. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he doesn’t really mind the silence having lived in it for the past  however many years, which is why he’s completely fine just  leaning on the counter and sipping on his beer silently. he really does need to mentally prepare himself for valerie’s arrival. she’s not bad per say, he doesn’t mind her that much and the salary she gives him is quite desirable, it’s just that she reeks of desp- eration, and baz has never been one not to enjoy the chase,  even when they are paying him good money. he looks up when cameron enters the room but doesn’t say anything, watching him silently, clearly wondering about his actions when he goes to browse through the fridge.

there’s several items that he needs and it becomes apparent that ‘borrowing’  such a large quantity would be easily noticed by the woman. so he lets out a  sigh, closing the door and resolving to simply go out for his lunch. making his  way back downstairs, it only takes him a few minutes to grab his things and a book he can study while dining. and he’s already finding the key he needs  to lock the door back up when it hits him that he’s leaving a complete stranger in the house. though he doesn’t very much enjoy the company of baz, nor does he give two shits about veronica’s things that adorn and litter the mansion, he  still can’t shake the hesitancy of leaving the situation as is. so he steps up to the door that opens up to the kitchen, leaning against the frame as he fiddles  with the keys. “ i’m going out to eat ---- you can come if you want. “

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1. 

he remembers the cigarette still stuck behind his ear, but doesn’t really feel like a smoke anymore so he leaves it be, dropping his phone on the counter and turning around to pull open the fridge, helping himself to his usual beer. he doesn’t know why really, he actually hates beer, is more of a straight up liquor kind of person himself. still, he continues sipping on it, pulling himself up to sit on the counter.

he's settled down after a few minutes, goes into his mini fridge to try and find something to eat before getting to his homework. but his eyes settle on a fridge that has failed to be restocked, rubbing his eyes as he remembered having forgotten to do the grocery shopping in the midst of his studies. so he closes the door, going up the steps back to the main floor in order to prepare himself something from the food valerie  has. he glances to the woman's boyfriend, opening the fridge to survey what he can take that won't arise much suspicious; or that he can purchase and replace before she comes home. but if that's the case, there would be the simpler way of going out to eat something on his own. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he almost laughs at cameron’s naive comment but remembers the other actually has no idea what their relationship is like and stays silent instead, offering a light shrug and shuffling in place. "yeah that’s not happening." he says instead, tone light to keep cameron from assuming things. his eyebrows raise at the ques- tion, clearly surprised although he barely wastes any time before moving forward and taking a step into the house, brushing over him lightly and making his way towards the kitchen, assuming the other will follow.

he expects that the other has been locked out since valerie isn’t around and he isn’t one to leave someone outside like that. Cameron is silent when the other enters, locking the door and picking back up his things to go downstairs to his area of the house. really its only a room, kitchen, and bathroom, but he would much rather be in a place he in fact pays for and has earned, than to sit around lounging at the woman’s place.

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

"ouch, i am hurt." he mutters sarcastically, pressing the palm of his hand over his chest in mock wounded. he doesn’t follow him, doesn’t plan on dealing with this person anymore since they’re clearly not meant to be speaking before getting on eachother’s nerves. “actually, i’m the one putting up with her, thank you very much. she’s unbelieve- ably awful in bed.”

opening the door, the boy steps inside and sets down the bicycle as he answers. “break up then,” he answers. it’s not his place to say anything, that is for sure, but the words are out before he can think twice about it. even so, he doesn’t think valerie deserves all that she has, so if the result is that their relationship does end soon, he won’t feel at all guilty about the  repercussions. he leans against the door, holding it open as he tilts his head slightly. “are you coming in?”

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he’s annoyed again, can’t really help it when the other keeps ignoring him so rudely. not that he’s very bothered by it, he just finds it quite childish and not at all understandable, is all. "can you even form words, kid? because jesus your silence  is annoying. it’s not like i’m your mother, you don’t have to  keep avoiding me to avoid conflict, even though that does sort of make you a pussy.”

cameron is taken back by the other’s reaction, turning around with things in hand as he raises an eyebrow. “i’m not avoiding you, but i don’t like wasting time on assholes. besides,” he turns, unlocking the door. “valerie is the one that has to put up with you; not me.”

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

it is actually physically impossible for him to refrain from  snorting this time, face mocking as he stares the boy  down and tries to understand his actions. it’s a few long moments before he manages to calm himself down, but once he does, he tries, and fails, to keep the laugh from his tone. “oh, look at that, it folds. how… practical.”

he can’t help the red tint that overtakes his cheeks, disgruntled by the others laughing. cameron knows he shouldn’t be bothered, that he is better than that, but it still affects him in a way he never desired to feel again. so he finishes the task in silence, carrying it at his side as he fishes out the keys from inside his pocket to open the door.

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

it’s very hard for him not to mock the bike, so he hides his smirk by looking down at his feet while taking some time to compose himself before straightening out and meeting his gaze again. he’s sort of annoyed by the  boy’s presence and isn’t about to follow him inside or  anything of the sort. he has the tendency not to try for people’s attention, and cameron is no exception. “you are too kind.” he mutters with a light scoff, then pulls the cigarette from between his lips and tucks it behind his ear. “nice ride, bubbles.”

cameron isn’t surprised by the comment, nor does he let is hurt him; at least, he tries not to feel the shame that creeps  up on him ever so slowly. it’s practical and he stays fit using it. also, it’s not as if he has the money to buy a car for himself and he refuses to take on valerie’s offer to lend him a rental if anything. “thanks,” he mutters, getting off and beginning to  fold the two wheeler. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1:

he can’t really decide whether or not he’s even a fan of this house, but all the waiting he’s doing sure isn’t helping his affection grow. his client is supposed to be arriving shortly and he cringes  at the thought, shoving his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a cigarette. he hears the noise before he sees the other arrive but he ignores it completely, pressing the stick between his lips and then cursing when he realizes he se- emed to have forgotten a lighter. “hey, do you  have any matches or anything around here?”

he’s riding his bicycle, one that believe it or not was actually  quite expensive for the form of transportation. but that’s because it’s a fold-able one ( a fact he is always excited to show off to people he meets ). cameron had already spotted the other male standing there, a drop in mood occurring as he rides past him and stops at the steps of the house. and he hadn’t expected  the question, grimaces slightly because he has no intentions of supporting such a terrible habit. “no. i wouldn’t know.” he is certain there is a lighter in the house though, since valerie has a sickening obsession with candles. he swears she has a different one out and lit every week. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

baz raises his eyebrows and releases a laugh again,  sort of genuine this time around as he stands in the doorway and watches the boy with interest. he doesn’t move closer, remains exactly as he is, blocking the  enterance only slightly intentionally. he realizes a few seconds into the silence the boy has no intention of speaking to him, and he’s hurt, he really is, but he  sort of finds this incredibly ridiculous as well. with a roll of his eyes, baz releases an annoyed huff that could be perceived as a mocking laugh quite easily. "i thought you were twenty, not twelve you absolute child.”

he’s amused at the statement, he really is; because of what  all the things the other has said, this is by far a step down.  and, to cameron, that can only mean that he is losing his grip on the situation. so he can’t help the slight smile that  the enjoyment brings about, spreading the peanut butter onto the bread before placing it on top of the other. it doesn’t matter what the other does; the boy has no intentions of  acknowledging and plans to leave soon regardless of the fact he’d leave a stranger in the house. it isn’t his after all.  

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he barely notices the other’s absence when he leaves, instead pulling out another cigarette and lighting it up  to keep himself from getting too annoyed at the woman. his phone vibrates in his pocket and he huffs out a breath along with the cigarette smoke as he slides his thumb over the unlock screen and rolls his eyes at the text he receives. the cigarette is thrown on the floor, expensive shoes stepping over it to put it out as he makes his way  back inside the house and goes to search for the boy  again. it takes him a while but he remains standing at the door with his arms crossed over his chest, a big smirk on his face as he looks ahead. “so your mother won’t be home a while. i need some entertainment while i wait.”

it’s his free day off and now that his time spent at home was ruined, cameron really only saw one other option to take hold of. never was it easy for him when he strayed  away from his normally busy schedule. but he was told by his doctor years ago that he worked himself too hard and that at times, he owed himself a break. so he decided that he would walk in the park and feed some birds if possible ( he had an experience with a duck that he’d  rather not go through again ). so he’s packing a pb&j while he is out, paper bag on the counter as he glances to the other. he is about to roll his eyes when cameron decides  he will simply work to not react; the silence may not shoo the other away immediately, but he is certain it will sooner or later. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he doesn’t really expect the other to speak but the fact that he doesn’t still sort of bothers him, so he huffs out a little breath and stands up again, hand in his pocket as he checks the time again. valerie was supposed to be here quite some time ago, but he never expected  her to actually be on time, so the nerves aren’t really justified. it’s probably cameron that’s made him so fidgety. he doesn’t know why he feels bad, but he does. he is well aware of the fact that he shouldn’t have pointed  some things out now, but if it were a different person he probably wouldn’t have been as bothered as he is now. “fuck, where is she?”

he listens, eyes closed but attentive to the other and his actions. cameron hopes the woman arrives soon, if only so that he can rid of the boyfriend of hers. he realizes he’ll most likely be bossed around to run a few errands for valerie in exchange for a portion of his bills disregarded, but the conceived expectancy has him already wishing to leave the premises prior to her arrival. so, getting up, he picks up the  towel he had used before and begins making his way inside. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he can tell he’s hit a sore spot when the other’s demeanour changes, but he does nothing to apologise for any of his  statements, instead keeping his eyes on him closely and hoping it would be enough to get the boy to speak. baz’s  life thus far has been fucked up enough his face doesn’t even twitch when cameron speaks, he just nods once and accepts it, although he did not expect it. valerie had sort  of made it seem different when they spoke about it which was rarely. “that’s shit, i’m sorry.”

cameron simply wishes to be alone, having grown tired of the other’s prolonged presence. he can only offer a shrug, having not even told the truth in its entirety. if he were honest, he would have given no exact age at which he was dropped off at his grandmother’s. she never told him and the boy didn’t feel that knowing would make much difference in the matter. he parts his lips to speak, but finds himself at a loss for what he could possibly say in the moment. so he stays silent, rests his head back and closes his eyes; it should be reason enough for  the other to leave, but he doesn’t rely too heavily on that assumption. 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1. 

baz doesn’t really know. cameron probably doesn’t realize this, but he barely ever really spoke to valerie, no matter how much time they spent together. she  seemed like a very needy woman and it was sort of getting on his nerves, but she was also a fast learner and seemed to have realized that the more money she gives him, the more time baz would have for her. hence, why he was here even now that she wasn’t. his expression doesn’t change at the other’s reply,  because he was sort of expecting it, so he continues as he was. “just getting started, actually. what’s that mean? didn’t get to be the center of attention all the time? you poor thing.”

he’s growing tired of this, of being around the boyfriend. he doesn’t acknowledge it now, can’t through the irritation that’s been elicited from him, but the other could easily have come to such conclusions that he is an ungrateful child. but it is farthest from the truth, the life he is living  only his till he can move out. even then he still pays to reside in the woman’s home, having two jobs with all the payments he’s ending up taking care of. he has a smile, but not one of genuine happiness, no; he’s amazed that the other has gotten to this point so quickly, and so the male can’t help give a soft, almost inaudible, scoff. “it  means she left me when i was two months old.”

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he smirks once cameron begins to show clear interest in what he’s saying, head tilting in the boy’s direction as he continues checking him out shamelessly. “i don’t know you, so the answer to that question is beyond me.” he  replies simply, although it’s clear he is about to just make a whole load of assumptions that  will or will not be correct. “i can assume, though, over how pissy you get everytime i adress to  your mother as your mother, it has something to do with her. so what is it, princess? momma didn’t buy you enough toys as a kid or something?”

cameron listens patiently and it’s his own fault in doing so, because the earful he gets it anything but pleasant.  it makes his blood boil to think the other could ever say such assumptions on the basis of nothing but a  name: if valerie even decided to mention it when they  were together. did she introduce him as her son when  the couple were in privacy? the thought makes his  angry run deeper than before, hard gaze shifting momentarily to the other as he keeps collected. “she actually  wasn’t even around to buy me shit,” he starts, turning to the other with a hard gaze. “are you done?” 

[hbucameron-blog]

bazs1x1.

he doesn’t really question the fact that the boy is clearly still speaking about it to annoy him. “i will make sure not to let it happen again, then.” he mutters, his usual smirk returning to his features as he settles back into the comfortable role  of unfixable asshole. his gaze returns back to cameron and he studies his features probably a little too close to be comf- ortable. “it’s a shame, really. you’re too pretty to be this bitter.”

the tables are turning and cameron wants to hold the other’s gaze, for the sake of knowing he could when he is certain the other is seeking to make him uncomfortable once more. but his eyes shift to focus on the pool when  he’s complimented, close to scoffing at how the other is acting. and he remembers that this is in fact valerie’s  boyfriend, so it seems strange that he’s being talked to this way. he settles on the belief that this is meant to  be teasing and he therefor will fail to give the desired reaction; whatever that is. but he isn’t certain what the other’s last words are meant to mean, so he ventues a question he can only hope won’t come back to bite him in the ass. “bitter about what?