Andulka
art blog(derogatory)
styofa doing anything
JBB: An Artblog!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
$LAYYYTER
Xuebing Du
shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
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pixel skylines
Product Placement
Kiana Khansmith
trying on a metaphor
DEAR READER
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blake kathryn
oozey mess
NASA
seen from United States
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seen from Singapore
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seen from Netherlands
seen from China
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@hcather
“Excuse me! Hi, hello. So this is what's called a lunchtime poll. You win five million dollars in the Publisher's Sweepstakes, and the same day that what's-his-face gives you the cheque, aliens land on earth and say they're going to blow up the world in two days. What are you going to do with the money?”
‘ It’s obvious that this is still bloody england, but where exactly ?? ’
“We’re in a place called Stonefield, apparently.”
“you got a smoke for the new girl in town?”
“Only the one I have in my hand. If you want it, you can have it.”
“Look at that !!” Said the girl with a big smile while she was approaching to the butterfly.
“What’s so great about a butterfly?”
“Well, what can you give me? I’m surprised, I thought those sinners would be all over you. Ah, at least you’ve got us to obsess over you.”
“Anything you want. Believe me, they tried to be.. but those sinners were fugly as shit. I have standards. Good, because that is one thing I’ve missed. Although those high school creeps weren't exactly entertaining. They were more lame, hopefully you'll not be.”
“Yeah, that’s me. Violet, for future reference. You sure about that? You haven’t been here for awhile, how do you know this place hasn’t gone to shit?” Violet laughed. “Ah, yeah. Heather with the friends who are also called Heather.. some confusing shit there.”
“Violet, huh? I wouldn’t have pegged you as that. You seem more of a Betty or Millicent even.” Heather simply shrugged, glancing around the area. “Doesn’t seem too bad, but it’s not like I missed it or anything. It’s not that hard. I’m Heather, one’s a cheerleader, the other is a wannabe. That’s how we’re identified. Do you not have any other friends called Violet?”
“Yes, the hot guy has candy. First, tell me all about your second trip to hell.”
“What’s a girl gotta do to get more than candy, sugar?” Heather playfully winked. “It sucked, and there weren’t any hot guys there to obsess over me. I much prefer this hell.”
“’Scuse me? Tha - That’s not what I want. I just don’t have your candy.”
“You don’t want that? Of course you do. Every creepy old man does, it’s part of your stereotype. Well, any food would do right now.”
“Have you ever thought about being a little nicer?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows and a little laugh. “Sorry mom, I haven’t gotten to it yet.”
“I am completely nice. It’s not my fault if you can’t take constructive criticism.”
“uh, no i don’t have any leftovers. what do you mean you’ve returned?”
“Well, I was dead. My best friend had the audacity to kill me, probably because I was prettier and a much better Samaritan than her. Then I arrived here, then went back to being in the afterlife, and no I’m back.”
“You can keep talking, but I’m still the one with the chocolate.”
“Keep your chocolate, I don’t want something that would have had your filthy hands all over it. Have you ever thought about getting a haircut?”
“great. fucking heather chandler is alive and the first thing she requests is candy. this is BEAUTIFUL. unless you’re still a ghost or some sort of vision created by my guilt complex, but knowing this place, i doubt it.”
“What’s your damage, Veronica? Not pleased to see me? And oh please, I’m not Heather, I actually take pleasure in digesting food every once in awhile.”
“Great to see you’re back, Madison… Heather? You’re one of them, right? Unfortunately I don’t have any left over, but I’m sure you’ll find something in the kitchen.”
“Oh, I remember you. You’re the girl who told me this is Hell... you were wrong. There’s no fiery pits and outdated fashion here... well, almost. I’m Heather, I don’t know who the fuck Madison is.”
“What in the hell,” he mumbled underneath his breath, bringing his head up just for a second to catch sight of the new blonde.
“Is that a no on the candy? Listen old man, I’ve literally been to Hell and back. If it’s going to take you having a peek up my skirt to get me what I want, I’m prepared to give in just this once.”
“You gotta find your own, Princess. We all worked hard for ours,” obviously he was joking. But he was bored, so why not have a little fun.
“Oh indeed, I can tell you worked hard.” She replied, with her eyes widening slightly as she took in the state of his appearance. “Cute. You look like a scruffy little dog.”
“So.. Hell sucks and good ol’ Jesus is taking forever to get back to me, because clearly I was shoved up Satan’s ass crack by accident. That’s why I’ve returned... well, not of my own accord, but whatever. I'm here and I'm starving, so please tell me you have some left over Valentine's day chocolate or candy?"
“You’re in hell, hate to break it to you.”
“I knew it. Is this because of what I did to Martha Dumptruck? Because that bitch deserved it, besides it’ll help her for when she actually does get her heart broken by some guy. Also I technically did nothing, it was all Heather, Heather and Veronica.”
