hello ! my name’s euna (any pronouns) and this is taejin, a tried and true son of jeju who somehow found himself in the idol industry after years of just cruising by in life. he’s just here to have fun and make memories and it’s all little more than a temporary game to him, really. he likes extreme sports and so training in seoul, gambling his youth on the slim chance of fame, has something of that same draw. he’s a free spirit, confident and outgoing with a touch of cockiness that can either be endearing or annoying depending on who you ask. to taejin, the whole world’s a potential friend, and so he moves through life like he knows it’ll be charmed for him.
this is my first krp in a long time, so i’m equal parts nervous and excited! i’ve listed some plots i’d love for taejin below, so let me know if anything catches your eye. you can also like this post and i will jump straight into your ims! discord also available upon request ⊹
[dossier] [points] [playlist] [pinterest]
cat and dog // someone who’s a complete opposite to him personality-wise. their relationship can be anything from outwardly antagonistic to unexpectedly close. whether they’re friends, enemies, or some weird dynamic with no name, taejin can’t help but want to tease and bother them and bring out every possible emotion to the surface.
stuck on you // taejin doesn’t do commitment but your muse has been the one exception. his first love, the first person he’s ever been serious about, and somewhere along the line it didn’t work out. angst and pining and unresolved feelings (maybe one-sided? maybe mutual?)
teacher // your muse is undeniably talented, and taejin is…. struggling. this next evaluation/assessment is an important one, and so he enlists your muse’s help for some little extra training on the side.
wyd // it makes no sense to live in a building full of beautiful people and not fool around on the side. in between busy schedules, they have fun when they can. nothing serious, nothing that can get caught, just a form of stress relief, mutually beneficial. there are worse vices to have.
adopted // taejin has a bit of a weakness for cute things, and your muse has a sweetness to them that draws him in from their first meeting. he becomes fond of your muse, a bit doting, a bit protective. ready to drop everything and sign the adoption papers.
gym buddy // seeking a fellow gym rat for taejin to work out and watch physical 100 with! a connection that’s all supportive camaraderie and friendly competition. sports and exercise are a huge part of his lifestyle, so it’d be nice if he finds someone at hydra to share that with.
𝒗𝒊𝒃𝒆𝒔, reconnecting with familiar souls, a taste of jeju.
𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔, a closed starter written for 𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒂𝒆𝒋𝒊𝒏.
𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔, chaeri goes out to dinner with an old friend.
while the atmosphere is beautiful in its own quaint way, chaeri can’t help but feel as though she’s extremely overdressed — her ensemble incredibly eye-catching in a way that makes her stand out obviously. the other patrons aren’t dressed down, per se, but their attire is nowhere near as carefully curated as her’s is. they’re business casual, she’s decorated as if she’s dining at the most expensive eatery in the city — donning a satin slip dress she’s been aching to wear since she bought it, her hair & makeup pristine per usual, & her fingernails freshly manicured ;; tying it all together. it’s very her, for those who know her. in truth, the reason for the elaborate wardrobe is because she wasn’t sure what to expect when invited out to this dinner. taejin is notoriously unpredictable, as always, but much like their past, she was down for the adventure ;; strapping herself into the passenger seat while he takes the wheel. their bond is one that she’ll always remember, she knows that, & it seems like he feels the same way, too, if he still makes himself a prominent presence in her life.
as a kid, she used to wonder if the two of them would drift apart someday. it’s a natural occurrence for people to grow in different directions, like branches on the same tree, & she used to hate buying into that narrative when it came to the two of them because, honestly speaking, taejin will forever be important to her. he’s genuinely the first friend she ever made, & since they met, he’s kept her around — protected her from villainous people, cheered her up when she was feeling down, & offered a shoulder to lean on whenever she needed one. thinking of the past as her feeling sentimental, especially with all that’s been going on in her life over the last few months, & as she waits for him to return from the restroom, she digs her compact out of her bag & checks her face ;; using the powderpuff to fix any mistakes.
time flows differently when he's with chaeri. more like — it's part and parcel of stepping into a separate temporal state, their past overlaid with the present and all the years between them blended and simultaneous. when taejin's with chaeri, he's nineteen and sixteen and fourteen and twelve. he's splitting twin chocolate ice cream to share on summer days, he's charming their way through the best food stalls in the market, he's holding her hand as they cross the slippery rocks to his favorite watering hole on this side of jeju. that's how it's always been, and that's what it'll always be — his hand in hers and the world their pretty oyster.
bathroom door clicking shut behind him, taejin makes his way through the minimalist layout of the restaurant back to their table where chaeri, easily the best-dressed in the room, waits while looking into a compact mirror.
"so i took a look around while coming here, and we're kind of the main characters of the night." taejin gestures to his own clothes as he sits back down: dark dress shirt rolled past his forearms, hair styled into a slick, comma part, his slacks, shoes, and coat from brands he can't pronounce and worn once a year at most. but this is a special occasion. the debut of a childhood friend, and their last dinner together before said debut preparations sweep her away to spain. his original plans to celebrate had been of a bigger scale than this, but when reservations fell through for a restaurant booked full for the next two years, taejin had to improvise—pick a direction on the spot, and it was just like old times. taejin taking the two of them into uncharted territory and chaeri, ever-trusting, along for the ride.
with their orders placed in the kitchen and still some time before their meals arrive, taejin rests his hand on the rests his hand on the tablecloth and tilts his head with a half-teasing smile.
"i guess it won't be long until you step up as the main character for real. i heard that you guys are getting individual scripts for the shooting. what was it—a music video for each member?" he lets out a low whistle. "moon chaeri, how does it feel to be a star?"
if someone needs suho's help, he was always the type to stop what he was doing just to help; he always thought that it was always right. but, he also didn't want anyone to be stressed out or upset about something, so he simply always did his best to try to change that. simply, he always wanted always to be happy, to not have anything upon their shoulders. though, once taejin has fallen to his knees, his eyebrow raises, before a giggle is leaving his lips. which causes suho to shake his head just a little bit.
"i'm not a life-saver! i'm just here to help!" he says, another giggle leaving his lips.
his eyes looked around once they were on the ski lift, just taking in the scenery. though, he was also looking out if he could somehow spot a phone from where he was. it wasn't quite realistic, but suho was going to try anyways, to see if he spot the case from way up where he was.
nonetheless, he looks to where taejin had pointed out where he had lost his phone. he nodded his head as he listened. "ah, trees do look the same from above... but, i'm sure we can find the middle area!" he said, nodding his head firmly.
he raises a brow as he listens to him mention the lifespan of his phone. "really? ah... i've had my phone for two years now," suho says, before giggling softly. maybe suho needed an upgrade; though, maybe he'll wait until he debuts, that could cause for him to treat himself to an upgrade on his phone. "did you leave the sound on? i could try calling it when we're close to where you think it is!" he says. "or maybe someone found it and that person will answer it!"
suho was definitely someone who was often on the optimistic side of things, that's for sure.
taejin recovers his expression quickly, buoyed by suho's suggestions and optimism. "that's a good idea—i'll let you know when i think we might be close!"
the lift approaches the drop-off point, and taejin disembarks easily off his ride, adjusting his goggles on his head and making the necessary preparations to head down the slope. he turns to his friend, grins, ("ready?") before pushing off into the pillowy white ——
money had never been something taejin thought about. which is one way of saying that money, for him, had never been a concern. barely a subject of conversation. it ran quietly in the background of his mother's cafe, which served more as a hobby than a true source of income, and took some form in the handful of buildings his father owned in jeju city and along the seogwipo coast. it was the weight his name carried on the island — yang — and the family it referred to, old as the island itself. money had just always been there, an unquestioned constant.
which is why, when it comes down to it, losing his phone shouldn't be this big of a deal. there's nothing on it that wasn't saved to a digital cloud, and he could obviously afford a better replacement. objectively, it would take less time and effort to order a new phone back at the resort than the time and effort it's taking now to drag a friend through this snowy search party with him.
maybe it's just sentiment then. having bought this phone in his first few months of living in seoul, maybe it's come to mark a period of his life without him even noticing how it's collected all this significance along the way. there's a small panic he feels at the thought of never seeing it again, which shocks him in the moment of it flashing through his brain. this doesn't happen to him often — or at all. where an object becomes something more than an object. it's unsettling.
when he reaches the area he had his eye on earlier, he angles his body so that he skids to a stop, scattering a small crest of snow with the movement. he scans the trees as if one of them would jump out and point him in the right direction, and, with no such luck, goes on to adjust his feet so that only his front foot is strapped to the board. pushing towards a particular cluster, he stops when he spots suho and waves his arm to shout: "it should be around here! let's try giving it a call—"
turns out, these shoelaces are not hien’s best friends. ( is it just her, or are they extremely short? she can’t even loop them around properly! ) needless to say, after the fifth or so failed attempt at tying a satisfying knot, she’s starting to get a bit frustrated. she lets out a loud groan, hunched over like a little kid — she can feel all her blood rush into her brain, not to mention the sharp inhales she has to take to compensate for the fact that she can barely breathe in this uncomfortable position.
truth be told, she can’t quite hear taejin from how hard she’s concentrating on finishing the daunting task of putting on a bowling shoe. she has look up at him to compute what his intentions are, and finally puts it together when the tablet screen comes into view. she shuffles a bit closer and slams the lemon lime slushy picture with the tip of her nose, accompanied by a slight grunt, then she gets right back to business, her fingers still firmly gripping her shoelaces.
❝ who would have thought that… shoelaces… will be my… downfall… ❞ she murmurs under her breath, then bites her lip down in concentration. it only lasts so long — her precious bunny ear falls apart in the blink of an eye. ❝ bloody hell, mate! ❞ she summons her best, overly-exaggerated british accent for this one, immediately aborting her previous plans of making her shoelaces look perfect to simply producing two messy double knots in a matter of seconds. ( whatever. it will have to do. )
now that her attention is taejin’s and taejin’s only, her excitement suddenly bursts through the roof at the mention of a bet. she loves bets. ❝ say less! your bank balance better be ready! ❞ and with that, she jumps up from her seat and takes a confident step towards the panel where they can input their names. ( according to the kind employee they talked to, anyway. ) ❝ what nickname are you feeling today? jeju it boy? taeloser? ❞
taejin isn't surprised that hien, hands tied, would use her nose to tap the screen, but he is surprised to see the selection go through. he gives her a thumbs up. "impressive," he intones. he briefly watches her struggle with her shoelaces, decides it would be better to stay out of the fight, and turns his gaze back to the tablet just as he hears what he's pretty sure to be an english curse come from the other girl. it's one he doesn't recognize, but it sounds funny all the same, and he echoes the expletive cheerfully, rolling the new vowels in his mouth.
with a few more taps, taejin finishes their order and cranes his neck to check what lane they were in before putting down the number for the delivery. "hope you brought your appetite, hien, because a ridiculous amount of food is on its way." he looks up and smiles, sunny with a hint of menace. "not that it really matters. i won't be paying for it, anyways."
he sees her go to the panel for their nicknames and pretends to think about her suggestions — makes a whole show of tilting his head and tapping his chin about it. "well, i'm already jeju's it-boy, so the obvious answer's out. let's go with taeloser." he walks over to where she's standing and playfully checks her hips. "all the more funnier for when i beat you in every set"
fully committed to the name now, taejin reaches over and types it in himself, eyeing the big screen where the characters flash and settle into its designated square. he presses enter with a flourish and turns towards hien, arms spread out in an open, almost cocky, challenge, competition waking up inside him with a lazy yawn. "let's go."
ACCEPTING TAEJIN'S INVITATION WAS ENTIRELY TOO EASY. it's a realization that finally hits when the girl behind the coffee counter asks, "is there anything else?", and minseon finds himself buffering, trying to recall whether he knows taejin's usual order. he doesn't. he says, "actually, i'll have one more of the same," then spends the next couple of minutes fiddling with his phone, questioning the decision and wishing he didn't have to.
because things with taejin have always been easy.
it hasn't been long since he first sauntered into minseon's sleepy little life, all playful charm and confident gait, and already, minseon feels as if he should know more about taejin than he does. he wants to know more. he finds himself perfectly swept up in taejin's tide, and the water is welcoming and warm. minseon has no knowledge of the anatomy of waves, can't even begin to guess at his roommate's go-to drink order, yet still, he allows himself to drift. he thinks it's only a matter of time before he's tempted to look back and see just how far he's come from the shore, but today, minseon is wholly content to indulge in soothing flights of fancy...
isn't it such a pretty thought, after all —
the notion that he could drown himself in yang taejin?
he bites back a smile upon hearing a familiar voice.
amused, minseon tilts half his body sideways to better catch taejin's winsome grin through the car's open window. unconsciously, he mirrors it. "promise me my name in lights, and 'm all yours." he gets in the car, gingerly sets the drinks down before tapping the lid on one of the cups. "my contributions for the day: hojicha lattes and—" then without warning, he reaches up to press his knuckles against the sliver of skin behind taejin's ear. even in the sweltering heat of summer, minseon's fingers are freezing. he narrows his eyes, expression wicked. "— cold hands."
taejin jumps at the cold touch. his easy grin slips for a moment, slack, into shock, before he recovers and lets out a laugh that digs deep dimples into the side of his cheeks. there's a touch of bashfulness, too, in the way he tilts his laugh down and busies himself with pulling the car back onto the road, trying to brush past how uncharacteristically affected his reaction had been — how strange it feels to get shy over something so small. "many thanks for the latte, but you can keep the cold hands."
before his mind can register it, he takes one hand off the steering wheel and holds the one that had just touched his neck. he gives it a firm squeeze, like he's checking the temperature, and waits for maybe a beat longer than necessary to release it.
"cold to the bone," he says, the tone of a diagnosis. he shakes his head with the faux gravity of a doctor. "this isn't good. first the hands, then the arms, what's next, the heart? i can't just sit back and watch my roommate turn into a block of ice." he glances at minseon and breaks into a smile. "good thing i'll be taking you somewhere warm, huh? here it's just hot, but sokcho gets a different kind of sun than seoul. trust me. you won't be the same person when you leave."
he says it with a conviction that runs bottomless in him, a deep well that feeds into every thought, every vague nonsense he pushes out to the world, and imbues it with possibility. his party trick is pulling down castles from the sky. he lives in the brackish zone of whimsy and reality, where he creates, endlessly, the conditions of his own existence.
minseon is sitting next to him in the car, and for whatever reason, taejin can't help but feel the urge to be making something. something that would hold the two of them, something that would be their space — bigger than this car, or a castle. he doesn't know what shape it would take, not yet, but it's somewhere in the clouds. he sees that it's there, and he'll wait for the right moment to tug it gently down.
it’s early in the morning when the hydra troublemaker duo ( also known as hien and taejin ) meet up. they have much to do, so why would they waste any time? besides, she rather likes hanging out with him — as they are both impulsive and adventurous people, they just clicked from day one. it’s no wonder that he is the first person she hits up after arriving to the resort.
their first stop is the infamous bowling alley, which hien may or may not have been looking forward to from the moment she got invited to this trip. everything about it sounds like something out of a coming of age movie, maybe one that’s about the coolest friend group you’ve ever seen, and hien would never deny her fondness for certain clichés. ( listen, there are worse things to enjoy… )
when they finally sit down to put on their bowling shoes, she struggles to take her eyes off what’s around her. it’s everything she’s ever dreamed of. the neon lights mixing with the light wood furniture and decor, complete with the goofy bowling animations showing up on the tv screen whenever someone gets a strike. a quiet holy fucking shit escapes her lips. ❝ this is so cool! can we get those radioactive orange cheese nachos? and a slushy? ❞ she starts tying her shoelaces faster now, her elbow probably hitting taejin in the side a couple of times.
sometimes, looking at hien feels like looking in the mirror. which is a funny thing to say about a girl 20cm shorter than him who also happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to the cartoon mascot of a milk candy brand. a modern day peko-chan (if peko-chan could break kneecaps). right from the start, taejin had seen chaos wrapped in cute packaging and knew that he had found his kin. born to different islands on opposite sides of the world, somehow the universe aligned to make their wild arcs converge—one force of nature crossing paths with another. their energies combined, everything lurches a little bit closer to the realm of possibility. they could raze hydra tower to the ground. they could pull the sun out of the sky. they could fold every continent into the layers of a crêpe and eat it with cream.
...or they could go bowling. the two of them fit right in with the kitschy exuberance of the place, loud neon colors and the sharp clatter of bowling pins breaking any chance of stillness settling in the air. he nudges hien back, having already put on his shoes and now fully engrossed in scrolling through a tablet where they can place their orders. "two cheese nachos, one large set of curly fries, mozzarella sticks—hey, what flavor do you want your slushy? there's blue raspberry, wild cherry, lemon lime—all appropriately highlighter colored." he angles the screen towards her and gestures towards the photos.
a burst of cheering erupts in the lane next to theirs, and taejin glances over to a group of friends swarmed around someone who'd just scored a strike. half of their party is up and elated; the other half slumped on the couch in decidedly worse spirits. a thought flashes through his mind and he turns to hien, a wicked grin on his face
"games are only fun if they have stakes, don't you think? how 'bout betting something for each round?" he lifts the tablet, giving it a wave. "we can start easy. first loser pays for all the food."
truth be told, slopes were something that suho wasn't all that fully interested it in; but, it's a cool trip, something he definitely wasn't going to pass up. he's been at least once, something that some family members have enjoyed; but they never often took those winter trips, really only trips to the beaches in the summer. but, it was a rather cool trip, he thinks. the last possible retainments of normalcy before things start really up for the potential debut - maybe.
nonetheless, suho was more so standing at the bottom of the slopes, scoping out as others were skiing and snowboarding. he wasn't doing much of the activity because he didn't want to get potentially injured; it probably was a bit weird that he was trying his hardest not to. he didn't even really go up the hill yet, not entirely sure he wanted to actually go down the slope. maybe he should go again, get the skis again to try, but he wasn't sure.
a certain giggle leaves his lips when he feels a familiar person draping over his back. he turned his head a bit to look upon the other, the slight shuffle sound of the 90s snowsuit he was wearing. "really?" he asked the other. before nodding his head, "yeah! i can help you find it! it's important to get it back!" he states. "do you remember the general area that you dropped it?" he asked the other. "ah, i should probably get some skis so we can go, right?"
his whole face lights up when he hears suho say yes. a part of him knew he would—suho was an angel like that—but that has no bearing on his gratitude, which is still genuine and true and pure. prone to theatrics, maybe, but pure. he slides down, falls to his knees on the soft snow with a thump, and lifts his arms in the motions of a bow—causing not a small number of heads to turn curiously their way.
"yes. you're a life-saver, park suho. a hundred blessings upon your family, for real—"
it's only when they're on the ski lift going up that taejin thinks that it'll probably be best if they think of a game-plan before going down. he voices this to his friend while craning his head slightly out to the side, looking ahead at how much further to go before they reach the area where he'd dropped his phone.
"the thing is, i lost it right as i was passing over the wooded area, but i can't remember exactly where i dropped it. just that it was towards the middle half... and you know how every tree looks the same from above..."
as they reach the part of the slope he mentioned, he waits, then points down at a thicket of snow-coated evergreens. "somewhere....there...." he drops his arm to his side, the whole ridiculousness and near-impossibility of this situation landing on him like a sudden weight. "you know what...maybe it's time to get a new phone." he huffs out a dry laugh and mumbles a stream of half-hearted arguments meant more to convince himself. "i mean. six months for a phone is a long lifespan, relatively speaking... practically a relic at that point... in this day and age..."
* / ( 💪🏼 𝔁 🍀 ]
It was reasonably easy for Jae to make friends with just about anyone. However, the friendships he developed over similar interests are the ones he tends to nurture. It was routine for Jae to work out for at least an hour each day, and they preferred a gym partner. Taejin and Jae had seen each other enough times and somehow gravitated toward each other - becoming friends. His carefree yet playful nature piqued Jae’s interest, as he was also usually unanxious.
Both decided to focus on cardio and run on the treadmill. Jae enjoyed controlling his breathing while running, taking his mind off wanting to stop running. Focused on running, he was still present in his friends' company. Taejin’s sudden question was enough to break Jae’s concentrated breathing. Shooting him a confused look before bursting into laughter - Jae was tickled at the question being asked. The two had hung out for some time but had tunnel vision in what they discussed. “No, bro, I was born in Seoul but grew up in the UK.” He wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or questionable when he understood his name came up in conversation.
Perplexed at the seemingly random curiosity, Jae obliged any information to Taejin. After all, he had a point - the two had more to get to know each other. “Well... Shoot! I’ll tell you what you want to know.” Jae smiled and stopped the treadmill for a second to catch his breath and provide his attention. “You’re originally from Korea, right? Whereabout?” Deciding to catch up was a good excuse to take a quick break.
"right—the uk!" taejin pushes a button on his own treadmill and follows jae in slowing to a stop. he picks up his water bottle and takes a long swig, folding his legs to sit down on the gym floor. "i'm from jeju island. born and raised." there's pride in his voice when he says this, and no small amount of fondness. his loves his hometown. loves its hills and its seas and its big nature, impossible to wrap your arms around but surrounding you all the same. jeju raised him like a third parent, and there's nothing but reverence and familiarity in how he speaks of it now.
"isn't the uk also an island? what was it like growing up there? different weather from jeju, i bet—not exactly a tropical country." he says this, but taejin's own conceptualization of anything past the peninsula is limited. he has a vague idea of what europe looks like in his mind, but it's an image that draws heavily from movies and stories from his friends' travels. prone to fancy and stereotype. nothing like actual lived experience, which is what taejin wants—what he'll do, eventually, once his run with the idol industry is over. make his little marks all over the globe, packing it with his footprints.
"do you think you'll ever go back? to live there, i mean."
⌇⌇ 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤
⤷ present day with @hdsuho
⤷ location: yongpyong ski resort
it's been years since taejin last visited the slopes. with his second evaluation behind him and the prospect of ten days at a ski resort in front of him—all expenses paid—it makes sense for taejin to be a bit excited. a bit careless, too. completely understandable, then, when he drops his phone on the ski lift going up, right as he's about to press the shutter to take a picture of the scenery.
mouth slightly agape, he stares blankly at the spot where his phone fell as it recedes further away. before it's too late, he remembers the practical thing to do and does a quick scan of his surroundings to make a note of where to go back to find it.
he does not find it.
even when he makes sure to go to the exact area where he knows he dropped his phone, his first run down the slope, taejin comes up empty.
spotting suho also at the bottom of the hill, taejin pushes off from his snowboard to glide over to his friend. in full dramatics, he drapes himself over his back as soon as he's within reach, letting out a muffled groan into the nylon fabric of his snow jacket. "suhoooo—" he props his chin on his shoulder. "i dropped my phone on the lift, and i couldn't find it on my way down. will you help me look?"
⌇⌇ 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐬
⤷ flashback with @hdhaneul
⤷ location: hydra main building
one hand propped against his chin, taejin fights to keep his eyes focused on the whiteboard, slipping closer and closer to sleep with every weighty blink. a long rehearsal last night had made him miss his alarm and stumble into his 7am english class five minutes late, sheepish and sleep-drunk. the instructor had let him off the hook, but he doubts she would be thrilled to see him putting his head down so soon after that scene. no matter how much she likes him personally.
it's only when she asks the class to take out their textbooks and turn to page fifty that taejin sits up in his chair, realizing belatedly that he forgot his book in his rush to get to class. he turns to the person sitting next to him and gives another start when he finds that it's haneul. perfect.
taejin gives his arm a light poke. then, thinking of a better idea, he grabs his pen and scribbles on the margins of his notepad:
forgot to bring my textbook 😭 will honey-ssi let me read off his shoulder??
'honey' being derived from 'haneul' — taejin isn't sure when he started using the nickname, only that he thought he was a genius for connecting the two pronunciations and rarely missed an opportunity to tease haneul with it as a result. he thinks it may have been this class, actually, where he first picked up that 'honey' also meant 'darling' in english. who said he's not learning?
fully awake and suppressing a grin, he pushes the notepad into haneul's line of vision.
'i definitely think pink is like your color, you know what i mean?'
– from riches to rags
@hdtaejin
"i don't understand how you just wear gym clothing every day, all day long." sebastian comments quietly after throwing a critical eye onto the garments taejin was wearing, nose scrunching up almost as if the sole existence of those jogger pants that were covering the younger's legs and sweat shirt he was wearing were insulting him. clearly, they were. the older male liked to pride himself in his fashion sense. every day should be a moment to express oneself and be able to show new colors, and surprise others. a metamorphosis of yourself, really. he liked that he could wear whatever he saw fit, and it made him feel confident in his appearance. he knew he was far from not good looking, he grew up teased for his pretty appearance. it was something he had held against himself for the longest of times, but now he was able to wield it almost as if it was weapon in its own regard.
he was proud of himself for how far he had come, and everything had lead to this singular moment. judging taejin and his fashion sense. "you need a make-over." he stated simply, reaching out with his fingers to tug on the front of the male's shirt, watching as it nearly drowned his friend in its fabric, eyes dropping to the formless sweat pants, the look was giving nothing, he made sure to tell his friend that, "like.. you're la blob like form. there's no shape. you could be showing off your legs and waist more better than this, and your chest too. and the colors you're wearing? where is the aesthetic? the goal? are you not trying to impress the people who look at you?"
the words come out fast, almost as if sebastian had suddenly so much to say in the confides of taejin's bed room, they were supposed to hang out and maybe grab something to eat, but as soon as he had seen his friend in this horrendous attire, sebastian changed his mind and decided the one thing his friend needed the most at the moment was a make over. he was adamant about it.
"how about we grab something to eat at the shopping mall and we can go looking for clothes for you?"
in retrospect, taejin really should've known better than to wear sweats when sebastian was coming over. he knew his friend well enough to know how that wouldn't slide without comment, but somehow still managed to forget what he was wearing until the other boy brought it up. by then it was too late. the floodgates were open, the attack was underway, and at that point, he could only accept that he tempted fate this morning when he decided to throw on whatever was at the front of his closet.
pausing from flipping through his collection of cds, taejin turns towards sebastian, arms folded and pose jokingly defiant—but unable to hide his amusement. whenever sebastian got like this, all ablaze and pointedly fierce, it was hard to imagine how this was the same person who had a reputation for being shy and reserved among the other trainees.
taejin laughs when he hears the words 'blob-like' and pretends to be fatally shot, staggering back with one hand to his chest. "all my hours at the gym... only to be called 'blob-like'... you're too cruel, junnie. absolutely cold-blooded."
he watches sebastian tug at his clothes and copies him by pulling at the fabric too. with a thoughtful hum, he looks down at his sweatshirt like he's seeing it for the first time. "is it really that bad?"
it's not that he doesn't pay attention to fashion... it's just that his style tends to lean pretty heavily towards athleisure. he makes the case to sebastian. "hey, aren't models going out wearing sweats all the time nowadays? i could totally layer an oversized white shirt under this and call it a fit."
he ends up agreeing to the makeover regardless, partly because he's curious to see how he'd be styled, but mostly because he can never say no to sebastian. "alright. it's been a while. i guess it wouldn't hurt to get some new clothes."
he giggles happily in agreement, his head nodding towards the words. "it really is great! we all really go well together, i think," he said, his smile growing a bit more. "there's a lot of really good chemistry between us all, i think, and we really work well together as a team," he said, grinning a bit more. everything just felt really good and real already; he really hopes it continues... no, he knows it will.
training as a trainee is seemingly something that's just... wild, is probably the easiest way to put it. constantly put together in different formations with different people to see what works as a trainee; though often times, suho was doing a lot of evaluations on his own, over the group ones that felt every now and then. he was really glad to just finally have a team, in a sense. with two good friends and a newer friend that he looks up to.
after thirty-some months of training, it was exciting, but also scary, to finally be put in the debut candidate team. suho was going to work really, really hard to make sure that he stays in the team; that he ultimately ends up debuting as an idol in a group - reach the dream that he's wanted for so long.
"i really like our current lineup and i hope it stays the way!" he said, nodding his head excitingly. "i really want to be able to debut with you and yejun because you're my really good friends! and i really want to debut with hwan-hyung because he's cool and i really look up to him with what he can do," he said, giggling softly. "i think so... maybe it'll work out like we start with youth-fresh and mature into something else? like apink and twice-sunbaes." he says with a firm nod. "i think it would be fresh to start out as youth-fresh," he added on. "what about you? what do you think about it all?" suho asked, curious.
suho's taking a sip of water once more, before taking more bites of food. he watches as the other nudges the container of spicy jokbal towards him, eyes looking upon it. he giggles softly at the sticker of the logo on the container. "hey! that sticker is adorable!" he says, giggling softly once more as he looked upon the sticker. though, his eyes move back to the spicy jokbal that's sat in front of him.
"do you know if the jokbal is cooked with rice wine like it usually is?" suho asked, curious. "i tend to avoid anything with traces of alcohol because it very weirdly makes me sick," he says, that and the constant itch and redness that occurs upon his skin - he's never sure if he should be embarrassed by that or not. though, sometimes he's even embarrassed asking because he feels a little bit foolish, in a sense. of course, only suho would be the one to know what goes into a recipe and how to cook it - he really does miss getting to cook good meals as often as he can.
by far what made kpop fun for taejin were the concepts. he liked the idea of there being distinctive eras, recognizable costumes, an associated look and sound embodied completely by the artist for a set period before being decommissioned at the end of the promotional cycle. he liked the idea of there being images of him preserved in time and capsuled away. version one, version two—so on and so forth, with the latest one running as soon as it hit the ground, its replacement already making preparations in the wings.
it was an industry as impatient as he was. always onto the next best thing, the latest hot trend. everything timely and temporary, and he appreciated that. there was too much that taejin wanted to do, too many things he wanted to try... it felt like a waste to be looking anywhere but ahead.
"i like the idea of starting with youth-fresh," taejin says, decisively, like he's at a board meeting and not in his living room eating chicken. "for practical reasons too. it won't be long before we're too old to be wearing school uniforms. i know all of us will be young and beautiful forever, of course, but those things really have an expiration date." he does the opening hand motions for "fancy" and grins at his friend. "i want to debut with you guys too. i really can't imagine any other lineup working this well, and i bet the producers see that too. they're not blind."
taejin hears suho's question about the jokbal and widens his eyes. "yeah i'm pretty sure they used rice wine—it's a good thing you caught that." he pushes the container closer to him and replaces it with something that he knows has no trace of alcohol, waving away suho's apology. "no problem at all. if anything, it's my fault for not checking beforehand."
vaguely sensing that suho might feel awkward for asking, he smiles to reassure him. "any other allergies i should know about? it won't be long until we're living and eating together on a daily basis, anyways. we should know these things about each other." he lifts a hand to his chest. "i, for one, can't eat shrimp. which is terrible for me because i love shellfish."
he pops a rice ball into his mouth and makes a small motion with the wooden pick in his hand. "if one day i can't resist the siren call of fried shrimp, promise to take me to the e.r. discreetly. god forbid hydra release a press statement saying i got hospitalized for shrimp, of all things."
there's a difference between ambition and greed. ambition is for people who use their heads. there's organization and purpose in ambition, twelve step plans and vision boards and manifestations stitched into the fabric of reality—a whole tapestry of calculations and tightened threads. greed is an act of unraveling. less direction. more appetite. greed is for people like taejin, led by their noses and looking for something to sink their teeth into.
he goes all out on this evaluation.
maybe it's because the creative parameters are set so freely, all stages of production being up to the trainees, that taejin finds himself wanting to do everything. show everything. song. dance. rap. performance. from the day they were given this assignment, taejin had sprinted out the gates hungry to prove something and looking nowhere but straight ahead.
when he performs "ghost", there's a feral bite to it that's a different kind from the original. more raw, more rough around the edges. energy that crackles, barely contained in the first half of the song that rips through the surface as soon as the track stutters into the industrial chaos of its last chorus. taejin throws off his black leather jacket to reveal a ripped, sleeveless white tee underneath. he lowers his eyes, wipes his mouth, and mimes a left hook in time with the dings of the bell on the track, transitioning into a choreo that combines krumping with the techniques he learned while training in the ring. there's adrenaline burning through him the way it does when he's sparring, and for those few moments he feels hyper-aware of every muscle in his body. they're responsive in ways they hadn't been during rehearsals, and he tears through the outro hitting every beat dead on its head.
it takes a while for him to come down from that high. he barely catches the tail-end of ahn haru's commentary—something about showcasing his versatility by choosing a darker concept—but manages at the last second to bow jerkily in response. the rush of blood in his head still sounds like a roar.
jang heiran is next, and her focus is on his vocals. she praises his decision to challenge himself this round, saying that while unpolished, he showed a range of styles that proved he had the potential necessary to adapt himself to different genres down the line. she mentions her surprise at his stability, which held on despite the quick pace of the choreo, and she ends with a comment that said she could tell how much he had practiced for this evaluation. she smiles briefly in approval, a small ripple on the calm surface of her face.
choi yohan just looks at him like he discovered something interesting.
"full of surprises as always, yang taejin," he says after a pause. "haru already said what i wanted to say in terms of concept execution and stage presence, but it bears repeating." he glances back at the trainees in the audience, then at the judges sitting next to him. "i don't think a single person in this room was able to take their eyes off you the whole time you were on stage. that's impact."
he levels a stare at taejin.
"i don't know what kind of headspace you were in to perform like that, but i don't want you to forget it. we're in the endgame. this is what i mean when i ask you to give me your 200%, and now that i've seen this side of you, i'll expect nothing less."
⌇⌇ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞
⤷ flashback (summer '22) with @hdminseon
⤷ location: gangnam, seoul > sokcho beach
it creeps up on him. taejin's hunched over the water coolers in one of hydra's practice rooms when homesickness punches through him like a fist.
it's his first summer in seoul. his first summer landlocked, and he can't get over how strange it is to see the sun in the sky with no stretch of sea rolling underneath. here it's all hot concrete and crowded intersections and tall buildings throwing flashes of reflected light as he crosses the street. how long has it been since he's seen an unobstructed horizon? he misses it something fierce, and it's an ache that stabs between his ribs for the rest of the week, shaking his focus and consuming him so completely that he has to call an acquaintance after practice one day, asking if he could borrow their car for the weekend (this saturday) just to make that three hour drive to the sokcho coast. he needs so badly to fill his lungs with salted air and feel the sand beneath his feet again. he doesn't even care that the roads will be crowded with cars headed east. even bumper to bumper, it would still be worth it.
and minseon will be with him.
taejin flicks the car's turn signal and pulls into the shopping center where he said he'd be meeting his roommate—a small collection of storefronts just five minutes from hydra hq. he slows to a stop next to the curb of a discount coffee shop and rolls down his window, leaning his torso over the console to call after a familiar figure.
"hi, 'scuse me!" loud and cheeky, he cups his mouth with one hand and adjusts the sunglasses in his hair with the other. "i'm a representative from hydra labels and i couldn't help but notice your visuals. are you interested in being an idol by any chance?"
he grins, and there's no small amount of flirtation in it. lately, he's been living for every opportunity to tease his roommate. to enter his field of vision and occupy it completely for a few electric moments. taejin always knew he was a little greedy for attention, but it was only after meeting minseon that he's felt this insatiable. it surprises him sometimes, how reflexive it's become to glance up from whatever he's doing to look for his eyes (round, dark, pointedly doe-like—he remembers it being the first thing he noticed when they first met) ... it's strange. these days, taejin finds himself doing a lot of things he has no explanation for. like inviting minseon to go on this trip with him, or thinking that it was only natural for him to come along. somehow, from the very beginning, his plans had always included minseon.
"i happen to know a lot of people in high places," taejin continues, not letting go of the gag. he wiggles his brows like a shady figure running a bad scam. "if you get in this car, i could make you a star."
⌇⌇ 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬
⤷ present day with @hdjae
⤷ location: hydra gym facilities
taejin doesn't remember how or when this friendship with jae began—maybe the third or fourth time they ran into each other at the company gym? it's the only other room that taejin trains in with as much frequency as the practice rooms upstairs. and as a regular, he's seen and struck up conversation with what seems like almost every health-inclined employee at hydra, so maybe it's inevitable that over the course of his time here, he's gotten relatively close to jae—both of them being sports-minded and sharing the same interests. though it's funny that taejin knows some details about his workout buddy—his routine, for instance, and the fact that he likes to drink tonic water—but not others.
the thought strikes him while he's running the treadmill in the middle of his cardio session. he presses the button to slow the machine down to a brisk walk and turns to his companion. "jae, remind me where you're from? was it sydney? no—toronto. it was somewhere overseas, right? some of the guys at lunch were talking about english-speaking trainees here, and i think your name came up."
he picks up a cloth to wipe his neck and smiles, sweaty and bright. "we've known each other for some time, but i feel like i barely know the actual details of your life."
⌇⌇ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫
⤷ before the 2nd evaluation with @hdayemi
⤷ location: hydra studio room a4
in the practice studio he'd reserved, taejin heaves a sigh. slumped over his chair, head tilted back, the sheet of paper he has covering his face flutters with the motion.
with debut preparations just around the corner, taejin had caught on to the criteria they were using to choose candidates for the final lineup. everything he'd seen and heard up to this point suggested that choi yohan was looking for all-rounders. the man had big plans for this first team out of kiss studios, apparently, and taejin got the hint. especially after the feedback from this last evaluation—message received. if he wanted to stay, he'd have to sing.
ideally, that's what this next piece would do—show the judges how much his vocals improved since the last time they heard him. the problem was that no matter how many times he ran through it, hitting the approximate pitch for each note, it still sounded just a little bit off.
straightening back up in his chair, taejin hits record on his tablet and tries again. he gets through the first verse and the chorus, then reaches the falsetto portion of the second half and cracks his voice on the high notes. his control thins, then breaks.
he rubs his face in frustration and glances at the door, where he sees the shadow of some person standing outside. a short, dry laugh escapes from his mouth as he leaves his chair to walk towards it.
"tell me the truth. that was terrible, wasn't it?" taejin says, swinging open the door. he poses the question to the person on the other side before they can run away, figuring that if he can't have progress, he could at least have a little entertainment. "in exchange for that free concert, how about you give me some pointers?"
a few groans and grunts sounded from yejun as the two continued stretching, truly wishing he could become boneless because he was only a few more practices away from breaking his entire body. “sometimes i wonder if these people made these dances for fun or if they made them just to torture any stupid person who comes along trying to replicate it.”
the brunette turned a few times, cracks coming from his back that even made him halt for a moment in surprise. “there is no way a nineteen year old’s back should be sounding like that, this place is gonna kill me man— hey.. maybe that’s how the hydra ghost came to be! they died practicing!" after a couple more minutes of stretching, yejun stood back on his feet and let out a dreadful sigh, pulling up the video of the choreography.
he stood there silent for 3 minutes, watching the dance practice in full before he turned to taejin, resting his hand ontop of the males shoulder. “i just want you to know when i die after doing this dance… you were a great friend to have, buddy. tell my parents i loved them because there’s no WAY i’m making this out alive.”
taejin laughed when he heard the series of hollow pops, sympathizing with the sound. "oh definitely not. when i get a herniated disk at the tender age of twenty, hydra better be paying my medical bills... i'll haunt this building myself if i have to." he wiggled his fingers menacingly before sitting back up to finish his stretches.
seeing yejun review his choreography, taejin pulled out his tablet to do the same. as bloated as his self-confidence could be sometimes, taejin wasn't delusional. even with two weeks to prepare, replication was impossible. he'd have to be smart about this, tailor the dance to play to his strengths and hide his weaknesses. and to do that, he needed impact. impact that had less to do with technical skill than it did stage-sense. performance over choreography.
the solid weight of yejun's hand paused taejin's train of thought. he lifted his eyes from his screen and slung his arms around his friend's shoulder in reply. "you can't die on me yet, buddy. we still gotta go to that popular bbq place and eat our weight in marinated pork once all this is over. i even saved us a table in advance."
taejin glanced down at his tablet, where his cover artist lay frozen on a bed draped in blood-red silks. "by the way...have you thought of a concept for your stage yet?"
