before the worst, suhyun x jiwon
Suhyun has spent the whole day thinking, the morning at university had been tough and the afternoon at the cafe hadnât be easy either, her mind couldnât keep focused on the things she needed to focus on, she could only think about what she was going to do later, she could only think about how she was going to do it and the reasons for her to do it so. For a few seconds she would even have second thoughts about her decision, but on most times, she could only feel anticipated pain for what was about to come.
As soon as the female got home, she couldnât stay quiet, she couldnât stay still, she would sit down and get up in the same second, her mind was going places and her body wasnât responding well to it, she could feel her hands sweating from the sinking of her heart as her fingers typed the texts she sent him, normally she would send Jiwon cute texts through the day, with a lot of emoticons and would ask him how he was doing and what was he doing, but that wasnât the day for that kind of thing, she was freaking out due to her own mind, to her own thoughts, to her own decisions and she just needed to talk to him, she just needed to get that done already.
Regret came like a wave when she heard his footsteps and then his voice, Suhyun controlled herself and took a deep breath so she wouldnât cry, so she would stay strong and go through it all without shedding a single tear, but the first ones already came down as she saw him, he seemed broken, she knew him well enough to see that, Suhyun could see his eyes and could see how that little spark he would have was gone and that freaked her out, it sent chills down her spineâin a bad way.
She gulped once, twice and took a deep breath, âYes, I do want to talk.â She sniffs a bit, passing one finger through both her cheeks to clean the few tears that had fell, her vision blurry because of them already. âI think Iâve been trying to delay this for too long now, Jiwon.â She says, in hopes he will understand without having her say the exact words, Suhyun wasnât sure if she could, she wasnât sure if she could break up with him, she loved him too much, but for the past weeks the only thing happening between the both was pain, he would hurt her by his indifferent ways and she would probably hit him harder than needed with her words, she didnât know why as suddenly he had changed with her, but she couldnât stand it anymore, she thought at first he was just having a bad day, a bad week, and then she started thinking that he was just growing up and she should accept it and get used to it, but she couldnât, that wasnât her Jiwon and she couldnât deal with it. âI donât know I⌠Things have changed.â
Jiwon could hear the pain in her voice and it only made him realize how it seemed wrong. The girl was always happy, always. It was easy to stress her out, but it was different from making her sad. And that was what seemed now; he got to the point he thought he never would and realized how it sounded wrong. It didnât sound like Suhyun at all. How did we get here?, he thought, avoiding to look at her face.
âYesâŚâ, he murmured, his voice so low it could be mistaken by his breath. âThings seem differentâ. He thought of sitting down before his legs started failing with all the weigh he had been feeling over his shoulders during the last minutes of his day at work, but he just couldnât bring himself to give one more step.
Sighing loudly, Jiwon finally looked up at Suhyunâs eyes and felt speechless. What was happening? Why did he do that, why did he cause her so much pain? And though those were his thoughts, he got the guts to make things worse: âWhat are you trying to tell me, Suhyun-ah? Just say itâ. It wasnât fair to his best friend to make her say the exactly words, it wasnât fair to himself to hear that, but he caused all of that with that purpose. He was already broken for weeks doing that, he was feeling worse after hearing the bad news of that day. And still, he was just trying to make that day the worst of his whole life.
