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almost broke down in front of my family 🚨 i’m going to starve for 5 days i promised myself. i want to be lovely.

broke my fast again oops okay um but for the first time ever, i got this immense guilt immediately after. like the kind of knot in your stomach when you hear bad news or you’re about to get in serious trouble ?? it physically pained me and i just felt dreadful. i contemplated purging but i can’t mess up my teeth anymore than they already are so i’m just sitting here all confused. is this what it feels like? ?? i used to eat food and feel guilt and regret, but never like this. this is strange but idk…

i’m super motivated to do a long fast bcs of this one thing, and i feel soo fucking powerful. I’m also using my anger and hatred in my life to push me through this. i’ve got this.

hi i messed up my fast 21 hours in LOL ummm trying again anyways i really really have been craving bread with red bean paste filling idk why

October Fast Stats 🦇🍷

Day 0

Weight: (last checked) 137lbs

Goal: 120lbs

anyways i am childish and delusional so pretending i am a starved vampire and it’s helping me get through this fast 💋

A rant you don’t need to read: i’m very angry these days. at everyone. it might be because i’m depressed or because of lack of proper nutrients lol. but everyone annoys me and i’d rather be left alone. at least for a month. I want to move out, but i need a license and a job and my social anxiety is kinda bad. But i’ll either suffer in silence or move on to a happier life. sometimes i just want to run away, start another life somewhere but again i have no money to sustain myself so the only option is to, you know

going to post my thoughts here since i banned myself from all other socials until I hit my next gw…starting october off with a fast :) this will be my longest fast since I don’t have any events and I’m ahead in my assignments. All I have to do now is wait since I’m old enough to skip meals too lol.

lol i haven’t been on for a while but i finally hit my lw. i’m 127 lbs now :) yes i’m still fat but it’s actual progress so.

My body dysmorphia is literally all over the place this month :[

and now I’m angry at everyone and it’s because I’m fat

there’s so much thinspo on tiktok...

I HATE CONSTIPATION SO MUCH I’m crying

alliescalories

GUESS WHO JUST ATE ONE (1) CHIPS AHOY COOKIE WITHOUT BINGING ON THE REST OF THEMMM

ME, BITCHES

RB FOR GOOD LUCK AND HELLA WILLPOWER AND TO NOT BINGE TODAY BOIS

Having my ed come back during quarentine was a blessing and a curse. (I know tht sounds crazy but hear me out)

It’s a blessing because I can loose weight and fast without fainting/getting sick because I’m going no where and staying in bed all day. I can also come back to school a new person after loosing weight.

HOWEVER, I still have online classes and I cannot focus for more than ten minutes. I might fail school this year. It’s not funny.

but also I wanna be skinny.

It’s constant arguing in my head.

#thinspii #eating disoder things #skiny body #anamia #thin #anarexyz #ed #ednos #thinspo #skinny

adreamtobeskinny

speaking it into existence

people will be shocked next time they see me

starry-bleu

GUESS WHOS DOWN 11 LBS IN A WEEK??

Anyways this is a good luck spell, from your friendly neighborhood Satan. Lose 11 lbs in a week, like to charge reblog to cast.

peach-and-die

BRO HOW

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