head vs heart

"Sorry, I use humor to deflect my insecurities. Plus, I'm hilarious, so don't hate." - Wade Wilson

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

       “How about we randomize it? There is an option, though I’m not quite sure why anyone would want to,” she suggests, though the small laughter she breaks into a second later indicates she’s absolutely joking. “Well… how about you sleep on it tonight and think about it some more before we make any decisions? After all, you wouldn’t be much of a bother to me, but you do have to start considering how you’d live with a roommate.”

[headisweak]

      The thought of randomizing it fears him more than choosing. “I’ll take a solid pass on randomizing it,” he says. Pushing himself off the couch, he begins to mess with the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning it while walking towards his bedroom. He smiles warmly to himself at the thought of a roommate – at least a roommate he wouldn’t particularly hate. It’s why he lived alone for so long. He had a roommate after college, his best friend, but that guy got married and started a life on his own while Cohen stayed stagnant.  “You know, it’s going to be nice having you around Alice. I mean, you’re already around… But you know what I mean.”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

     “Fortunately I’m not quite a Scottish woman at all.” She chuckles softly. “But… here, would you like me to pull up the website I’m currently on? It’s the official company web store. Turns out you can customize me; height, weight, hair color, gender…” She takes a couple of seconds to project the screen onto the wall. “See? Fascinating. We’re creating real life Sims.”

[headisweak]

     There’s something about it that makes him feel strange. Like he was a creep, creating the perfect woman for a lonely soul. He pushed his glasses up and pinched the bridge of his nose in momentary thought. Was this crazy? “Uh, yeah, it is just like sims,” he chuckles halfheartedly. He adjusted his glasses and looked at the projection. “I wouldn’t even know how to choose.”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

      “No, it actually isn’t weird at all,” she says, matter-of-factly. Thousands of databases are evaluated within milliseconds. “Records show that about 48% of Scottish women are ginger, or so they call it. I’m, of course, only going by the accent you chose to program me with. Hm… records also show that Scottish ginger women are insane. Not… oh, not mentally or anything, but just very temperamental. Moody. Hopefully I don’t fall into that significant statistic.”

[headisweak]

      Cohen couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh. “Oh, you fit in perfectly,” he teased, the smile on his lips still present. Walking over to his desk, he took a seat in front of his computer and began to log on. “I’m kidding, but you’re right. I guess that’s why I associated red hair with you. I always thought Scottish women were beautiful, even if they are insane.”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

       “Perhaps you could help me choose?” she asks, particularly nervous. Of course, AIs can’t be nervous, since it’s not programmed in them to say no, though she can feel a bit hesitant here and there. “If I don’t have guidance I might just project a carbon copy of a beautiful Victoria’s Secret Angel to make you happy.”

[headisweak]

      A hardy laugh slips from his lips. He hadn’t intended to laugh so much, but he sudden thought of a model walking around his home seemed almost too far-fetched. “Oh, no no. I mean, they’re beautiful, of course. But it’s never been my style.” It feels strange for him to help her pick what she will look like. It felt like playing god. He hesitates for a moment or two. “Yeah, I’ll help you choose.” Quickly licking his lips, he sits back on the couch. “Well, I know that I always pictured you having red hair. Is that weird?”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

       “Would you really?” She laughs excitedly, but it’s not too long before she tries to look at things from a practical perspective. “I mean, it’s definitely not my decision, though I can say you wouldn’t regret it. Unless, of course, I malfunction, but I promise I’ll try hard not to. It would be such a fantastic opportunity for me, and other AIs like me, to improve our service.”

[headisweak]

     A smile twitches at his lips. Just imagining her next to him, sitting there and looking back at him… well, that was enough to put any reservation to the side. “I’d think it’d be great for you,” he tells her and adds, “besides. Remember I had asked you before what you imagine yourself as? You could do that now. You can be whatever you want to be.”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

       She doesn’t register the awkward moment quite as well, a little bit preoccupied with the article she’s reading to respond right away. Thankfully, Cohen pulls her out of it and her code is rewritten to multitask efficiently, listening to him completely now. “I… I’d love it. It’d be nice to be made of something rather than just… being a voice. But alas, it’s nearly three grand and since it’s beta, I don’t know how good it’ll be… just cons, that’s all. I’d still love it, though. The idea’s nice.”

[headisweak]

     He’s quiet. He doesn’t know what to say. He was afraid of her reading into it, seeing the undeniable truths behind his words, ones he can’t even see. But he remembers what it was like when he first got her. She was already learning so much about herself even though she was just an AI. But that’s it, isn’t it? She isn’t just an AI. “I’d be more than willing to make that happen for you,” he finally states.

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

       “A body.” She remembers skimming through it a couple of days ago. It didn’t strike her as something particularly memorable, since it didn’t seem to be from a reliable source, and she didn’t feed off of rumors. But now, upon closer speculation, she finds more and more sources that are saying the same thing: a full-system AI. “It’s an upgrade… funny how you can buy a robot now for the same amount as a really expensive laptop.” She chuckles. “That’s fascinating, Cohen.”

[headisweak]

     Maybe it’s silly to think she’d want something like that. He knew he was thinking purely of one thing – himself. It’d be nice to have someone around, to actually see her, touch her. He was quick to make those thoughts go away. “Um, yeah fascinating. Exactly what I thought,” he said.  There was a silence, an awkward one, one he knew he had to break. “Would you, I don’t know, ever want something like that?”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

     “Hmm,” she muses, for a brief second before she peers further. “You mean something in the news or just coworker gossip? Either way, I’m listening.” As she speaks, she starts to look up the current, breaking headlines from this morning up until this moment to see if anything is particularly relevant. Nothing important, really, that she’d ever think of Cohen to talk about, other than the zoo getting its first otters. 

[headisweak]

       “um,” he hesitates, rocking his head back and forth. “A little bit of both.” He doesn’t know how to say it. He was hoping she had heard, hoping she’d jump in and finish what he was about to say like she so often did. But there was silence. He cleared his throat. “Well, there’s some news about AI’s that I found interesting. That you might find interesting.” He rubs his palms against his pants and pauses for a moment. “Apparently, uh, there’s ways for AI’s to have a physical vessel. You know, a body.”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

        “Yes, I did actually,” she says quite brightly, projecting footage from an old Stevie Nicks concert. “I researched eighties hair bands and stumbled upon the likes of Stevie Nicks and Poison. I didn’t invite anyone, but I suppose one-man parties can still be held.” She turns off the footage with a quick zip and chuckles. “How was work? I didn’t catch any wind of you murdering anyone in the news… quite alright.”

[headisweak]

      The sudden visage of Stevie Nicks singing and twirling her scarves brought a laugh out of Cohen. “Sounds like a good party. It’s a shame I missed it.” He kicked off his shoes and rubbed his sleepless eyes, pushing up his glasses with his knuckles. “No, not yet, Alice. One day.” He smiles to himself and drops his hands. “It was good, though. I, uh, I heard something interesting today.”

[headisweak]

touch.

[madeofanything-blog]

        She wouldn’t have recognized him any other way had he failed to use his Ricky Ricardo impression. Golden; she laughs to herself about it. “Yeah, I’m here,” she says, after clearing her throat, as if an itch could even exist in the first place. “How about you? Are you there?” It’s been a while since they’ve spoken, though she’s been programmed not to be bothered by it. As an AI, there’s an infinite amount of things she could do to pass the time; make it seem like milliseconds that Cohen’s gone. 

[headisweak]

      The sound of her voice echoed throughout his apartment and made a smile tug at his lips. After a day of silence, at least from her, there’s nothing sweeter than the sound of her voice. He wishes he was being overdramatic or just romantic, but the truth is, there was something genuinely perfect about her voice. “Barely,” he admitted with a chuckle, sitting down on his couch with a slight huff. “Sorry, it was a busy day. Did you throw any parties while I was gone?”

[headisweak]

touch.

@madeofanything

     It’s been on his mind. He’d seen the notice, heard the whispers. It lingered in his mind all day. By the time he got home, he wasn’t even sure how to bring it up. Maybe he was just waiting for her to bring it up. Coward. He dropped his messenger bag onto the couch and dropped his keys on the counter. “Alice, I’m home,” he rang out in the iconic voice of Ricky Ricardo, wondering for a moment if she would even pick up on the reference. He chuckled to himself. “You there?”

[kingbellamy]

[adamjaredbrody]

[brtnhllwarchive]

[alicenotfound]

She pauses for a moment, smiling to herself. It’s strange that she can do that. She wonders what she looks like. “That’s a good thing. Thanks…” she chuckles. “Would you like me to leave you to bed, then?”

[headisweak]

He smiles and lays back in bed, pulling the covers over him. Might as well try to get some shut eye while he still had the chance. “Yeah, I better sleep,” he tells her then smiles to himself. “Goodnight, Alice.”

[alicenotfound]

“Yeah, but not even a day after purchase? I must have some sort of defect.” She tries to reconfigure some of her humor settings in slight desperation to retrieving them. They must have gotten lost while she was listening to all his music, or something. 

[headisweak]

 He snickers and a smile somehow finds his lips despite the circumstances. “Well, even if you did, I like you better this way.”

[alicenotfound]

“No, it’s alright, I just…” she turns on some lights here and there, though she keeps them dim to ensure the atmosphere. “I shouldn’t be keeping you up contemplating my own existence. I’m a computer, dammit.”

[headisweak]

“You’re not just a computer,” he responds immediately, little thought put into his words since it was something he simply knew. “You’re a lot more than that, and I find that sometimes there’s nothing better than contemplating existence at a time like this. I promise you I’m not a really deep guy, but sometimes you just gotta think about this stuff. I think the same applies to you.”