social media manager.

siri, send tweet! send tweet!

[headmedia]

I WAS VOTED HOTTEST MEDIA CONSULTANT IN 2018. ... an indie, private, and selective blog for f. tony scarapiducci, originally from netflix's, space force. social media manager and head of public relations for the space force division. heavily headcanon based with inspiration taken from various comedic and political medias. contains mature content. as influenced by becker ( thirty, she/her, low activity. ). #headmedia.

01. carrd. 02. about. 03. inbox. 04. pinterest.

an exploration in … social media rots your mind / what have you done for yourself lately / daddy issues / basing your identity around what you can do for other people / asshole with a heart of bronze.

[headmedia]

tony's the type of guy who canonically says "yoink" and will break into a spontaneous little dance when happy and yet there are people out there who HATE him just because he can be a little obnoxious????? not on my watch.

[headmedia]

f tony comes to the pitt, accidentally outs javadi as a tiktok legend because his dumb ass is too excited about being in the same room with dr j, gives robby 65 mental breakdowns regarding higher up overreach, cries when santos says one (1) mean thing to him, and gets kicked out of the ED for violating HIPAA while trying to film a promo vid. all within 15 minutes.

[headmedia]

the artemis ii launch is how we get space force season 3..... here's how we can still win

[headmedia]

#VOTED HOTTEST MEDIA CONSULTANT IN 2018

an independent and selective blog for the best social media manager around, f. tony scarapiducci, originally from the netflix series, space force. heavily headcanon based with inspiration taken from various comedic and political medias. contains mature content. as influenced by becker ( thirty, she/her, low activity ). ©

[alwayzraven]

Space Force - S1:E09 “It’s Good to Be Back on the Moon”

[fairycosmos]

how much screen time do you have per day?

i never wanna think about that in my whole life

[jasonmantzoukas]

BEN SCHWARTZ as F. TONY SCARAPIDUCCI in Space Force Season 2 Episode 7 “THE HACK”

[milkmemes]

TESTING THE CHEMISTRY

Sentence Starters for muses that are just testing their chemistry and haven't committed to anything yet. Adjust pronouns as needed.

❛ If you keep standing that close, I’m going to assume you want something. ❜

❛ Great, now I’m thinking about you. Thanks. That’s exactly what I needed. More chaos.❜

❛ You always do this… get under my skin without even trying. ❜

❛ Tell me the truth ...did you miss me, even a little? ❜

❛ I’m not nervous around you. I just—okay, no, that was a lie. ❜

❛ I wasn’t expecting you to show up… but I’m not complaining. ❜

❛ Do you practice being this distracting or is it natural talent? ❜

❛ You know you don’t have to impress me, right? I already see you. ❜

❛ Was that a compliment, or are you just trying to confuse me? ❜

❛ If you’re trying to make me flustered, it’s working. Unfortunately. ❜

❛ Do you trust me? Don’t overthink it. Just answer. ❜

❛ You keep saying you don’t care, but your face says otherwise. ❜

❛ I didn’t know you could smile like that. It’s… different. ❜

❛ Sit with me for a minute. Just… don’t make it weird. ❜

❛ You give me the exact kind of trouble I pretend I’m too mature for.❜

❛ Why does everything feel so awkward when it’s just us? ❜

❛ Be honest—do you like being around me, or am I imagining that? ❜

❛ You’re staring again. Should I be concerned or flattered? ❜

❛ Quit pretending you don’t notice me noticing you. ❜

❛ One more step closer and I’m charging you rent. ❜

❛ We’re not flirting. We’re just… talking intensely. Right? ❜

❛ Are you hitting on me or are you just like this with everyone? Because I need to mentally prepare. ❜

❛ I’m not saying I’m into you, but I am saying you’re making it incredibly difficult not to be.❜

❛ I swear, if you blush again, I’m going to start asking questions. ❜

❛ Why do you always show up exactly when I need someone? ❜

❛ Don’t act like you don’t like it when I tease you. ❜

❛ If we keep doing this, people are going to get the wrong idea. ❜

❛ You make everything feel like it means more than it should. ❜

❛ You didn’t have to come find me… but you did. ❜

❛ Tell me what you’re thinking. No deflecting this time. ❜

❛ I swear, sometimes it feels like you’re daring me to react. ❜

❛ Why does it feel like we’re having a conversation without saying anything? ❜

❛ I’m not nervous. You’re just… very close right now. ❜

❛ If we crossed a line, would you even tell me? ❜

❛ Don’t look at me like that. You’re going to make me laugh. ❜

❛ I swear, you bring out the strangest parts of me. In a good way. ❜

❛ Come on, scoot over. I’m not sitting way over there. ❜

❛ Stop smiling at me like that, I’m trying to be serious. ❜

❛ You know me too well. It’s honestly terrifying. ❜

❛ You didn’t have to wait for me… but thanks. I mean it. ❜

❛ If you tell anyone I got sentimental, I’m denying everything. ❜

❛ Honestly? Being around you makes everything feel lighter. ❜

❛ Don’t look at me like you’re impressed. You’ll ruin your reputation. ❜

❛ I can’t tell if you want to fight me or kiss me. Don’t clarify. ❜

❛ You’re infuriating… and unfortunately interesting. ❜

❛ If you step any closer, you’re going to find out how much self-control I don’t have. ❜

❛ I hate that I notice you, even when I’m trying not to. ❜

❛ I said I didn’t like you. I never said I could ignore you. ❜

❛ Why do you always show up when I’m at my worst? Trying to gloat? ❜

❛ Don’t flatter yourself. I’m only staring because you’re being weird. ❜

❛ One day, I’ll figure out why you get under my skin. And I’m not sure I want the answer. ❜

[headmedia]

you know those name brand social media accounts that always go viral for having the most wild clapbacks? tony's def been behind the screen of at least three of those big name twitter accounts prior to landing his job at space force. he's also responsible for starting so many brand wars that all the media managers hired after him are still fighting on the frontlines to this day.

[headmedia]

Would you make sure that Tony is detained until after the launch so he doesn't tweet anything snotty?

[headmedia]

ben schwartz saying that tony views both general naird & doctor mallory as his psuedo father figures (because his real dad fucking sucks),,,, he’s so correct actually! those are tony’s two dads!

[headmedia]

some f. tony fun facts.

he will walk around with earbuds in pretending to listen to music just to eavesdrop on other people's conversations (and yes, this includes high ranking government officials).

is lactose intolerant.

took a gender studies class in college where he had to write a paper researching the derogatory history of the word “bitch” after calling his professor a bitch. admittedly, he DID learn a lot and will flex this knowledge while still calling ppl a bitch because he’s also an idiot who learned nothing.

planted drugs in his high school history teachers desk after he gave him a “C” and got him fired.

speaks fairly fluent mandarin because he spent a year abroad in china at guangzhou university.

infrequent drug user (mostly molly) and smoker (mostly weed).

got fired from his job as media manager at american apparel after his rival / coworker / situationship leaked his text messages venting about other managers (i.e talking shit).

that last one is part of the reason why he’s paranoid about his phone leaving his sight and doesn’t lend it out to anyone ever.

he has two phones; his iphone (which is his normal phone) and a flip phone he wears in a self-made ankle holster in case of emergencies (like someone taking his iphone).

all his contacts are saved as descriptions, such as “bad times in reno”, “likes jazz too much”, “ew”, and “uh oh”. according to him, it’s easier than remembering names (though i think it also goes back to his lack of trust re: the leaked texts thing).

[vhsmeme]

* twitter meme starters

‘ i refuse to listen to reason, i have to listen to so much already. ’

‘ if i was famous i would just knock on people’s doors and be like hello, yes, it’s me. ’

*eats a snack while looking for a better snack*

‘ taking a nap is always so risky like when will i wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 3 years? ’

‘ i’m wiping the slate clean, so i have somewhere to spill all the blood of everyone who has ever wronged me. ’

‘ horrified that other people have decided to leave their house tonight. ’

‘ to me, the cookie jar is the modern day treasure chest, and you don’t have to brush off  any skeletons to get to it. ’

‘ my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am.  ’

‘ grab your own butt. love yourself. ’

‘ on the moon if you don’t like something you can just throw it upwards into space. on earth if you try to do that the enemy known as gravity gets in the way. ’

‘ my stress stresses me out to the point where i’m too stressed to deal with my stress. ’  

‘ don’t worry, password. i’m insecure too. ’

‘ i should have thought about that? you know i don’t think about things. ’

‘ when you live the bart life you say ‘whoa, mama’ to the good and ‘ay, caramba’ to the bad. ’

‘ i got 99 problems but i’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all. ’ 

‘ i love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up. ’

‘ everything’s my fault when you just look at the facts and information. ’  

‘ why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone. ’    

‘ do you like bad boys? ‘cause i’m bad at everything. ’

‘ i never argue. i just explain why i’m right. ’

‘ if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, i’d just laugh and search with them. ’  

‘ if your family members share one of those articles about how millennials can’t do anything right, consider countering by sharing the page of a below average nursing home or even just a photo of bones with the caption: sooner than you think. ’

‘ yeah, baby, i am an animal in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day. ’  

‘ can i sell my feelings on ebay. i don’t want them anymore. ’

‘ coffee is just baby formula for adults. ’ 

‘ i think i speak for all of us, just in general. ’  

‘ i get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions. ’

‘ can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? ’

‘ do not beef shame me. ’

‘ later is the best time to do anything. ’

‘ trying to decide if i should spend my evening reading a book or browsing social media for two hours in stomach churning guilt while thinking about how i should read a book. ’

‘ if you cannot handle me at my worst, that is fine. i am a powerful and terrifying thing and all should live in fear. ’

‘ people pretending to be cats is fine and cool but if some sort of huge animal wanted to pretend to be people then everyone is all, ‘please leave the bank’. ’

‘ are you bad wifi ‘cause i’m feeling no connection here. ’

‘ in the mood for a hug and 69 chicken nuggets. ’

‘ some times you spend so much time getting revenge you forget about getting retribution. ’  

‘ never underestimate yourself. but also do not overestimate yourself, that’s bad too. ’

‘ you will never be a billionaire but there’s still time to see what they taste like. ’  

‘ i don’t say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave. ’

‘ they will never do a live action reboot of your childhood. ’

‘ i could learn a thing or two from this? thanks for the warning, i will avoid it. ’

‘ you would think that wouldn’t you, always with your thinking things. that’s what separates me from you, the thinking. ’

‘ i’m putting free wifi on my gravestone so people will come visit me. ’

‘ sea shells, or the beach’s potato chips, are free to anyone who can find them. ’  

‘ learning is the fool’s errand. ’

‘ is your name dunkin’ because i donut want to spend another day without you. ’

[headmedia]

a few f. tony character insights taken from benny schwartz himself

“[f. tony] can have moments where he’s excited or whatever, but he comes from a character who’s always trying to get respect from people, and when he’s by himself, he’s probably a pretty sad guy.” — interview

“[f. tony] doesn’t have a military or science background which is almost every single character in the show. he gets to be his own independent thing which is lovely. i bring a lot of energy into it because he is overly excited. he’s dealing with millennial aspects which general naird could care less about, he didn’t even know how to work an iphone. in tony’s world all these tiny things online mean the world to him.” — interview

“when [tony]’s home i imagine he's a pretty sad guy by himself. he might have a thousand- a billion Facebook friends or whatever it is, but he has nothing when he goes to real life. he's like trying to find real human beings to connect with.” — from an interview i can’t seem to find anymore.

[headmedia]

also i want to mention (because idk how many of you have actually seen space force) that yes, everyone calls him “fuck tony” and no, they never explain why.

[secareanu]

“Thank you very much for ruining the moment. Please sit down.”

Ben Schwartz in Season 1 of SPACE FORCE (2020)