I always felt I'm like a doll or a robot, although it's hard to describe.
At first, it felt like having a doll that looked like me or my alters would be healing. And it was. But with time, I kept feeling the doll wasn't enough, that it had to represent something else, that x part should be different, and so on. It ended as if I was repeating what abusers did to me, that is, me having always something wrong, never being enough, always made to be one way or another. By now, it feels hurtful to keep this up, so I will stop using this account and @fog-bows for a bit.
I will be back for sure, but I think until I fully understand it's ok for my doll to not be perfect, just like it's ok for me to not be perfect, and find joy again in having a doll, I'll be stepping away.
This is also a reminder that if your kin is hurting you, please take a step back, it's ok to take breaks.
I am still active in other accounts: @nukumoritent and @comfortableden have dolls and plushes I feel fine with, for similar content :3














