[clamchowdurr-deactivated2022040]

Stop promoting this heartless culture.. nobody wants a heartless piece of shit! Feel things… feel them deeply!

[demonius-darkblade]

Gonna get rich selling bootleg Raymonds

[venusaurasaboy]

i am a luxury few can tolerate

[adventurecore-suggestions]

compliment recklessly! say the nice things that come to your head! we've got better things to do than resisting the instinct to be kind!

[scottishtwitter]

[xoperidottea]

Translation: I told this girl sent next to me on the bus that her guide dog was cute and she said "Aw I wouldn't know" and I choked on my coffee

😂😂

[happyhumannoises2]

I think this is the first one of these that i literally couldn't understand a damn thing written

[123iloveyoutoo]

you dont have to be a picklepuss to enjoy sinking your teeth into the green, juicy, crisp fruit of the improved cucumber 

[yesterdaysprint]

Dayton Daily News, Ohio, April 5, 1950

[123iloveyoutoo]

damn you could really just fucking say anything back in the day, huh?

[ministryofsillytalks]

you can say anything now this reads exactly like a modern day shitpost on tumblr.com

[123iloveyoutoo]

hold on i gotta make a post

[adhd-vibes]

[tmos-time]

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

[geekandmisandry]

I literally have no context for this and it’s fucking me up.

[meshugenist]

polyamory is neither inherently abusive or radical it’s literally just dating multiple people at once. this has pros and cons and risk factors specific to it just like monogamy does. that’s it. not that deep, no need to apply all sorts of symbolism to it

[pettydavis]

it symbolises trying to fit as many dicks in me as possible at once

[meshugenist]

this is the only valid comment on this post

[sjdjfjvifieifigigirje-deactivat]

me, age 14: i’m fucked up and evil and no one understands me 

me, age 16: i am just a normal teenager you can be friends with

me now: fucked up and evil again 

[smallwelshmonastery-deactivated]

The peanut butter in Reese's cups has the taste and texture of like a vitamin enriched paste you squeeze from a tube directly into your mouth when you've been living in a bunker for 30 years bc aliens invaded and it's your birthday treat. I say this with love

[infomercial]

happy mother’s day to miss honey from matilda

[whitepeopletwitter]

[homosexfag-moved-deactivated202]

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

I cant stop reciting this and then laughing so hard I cry

[vrson]

transcript:

I firmly believe all the best stories happen at WalMart self checkout, I was there at 3 in the morning one time buying Froot Loops, and there was a tall, tall country dad there and his little 5 year old daughter.

And when buying my Froot Loops, I dropped them. And I said "fuck. my loops." And I remember, like, in the back hearing, [gruffer, southern accented voice] "Yeah! Dont be afraid to speak!"

[normal voice] And I was like, "What?"

And he was like, [accented voice] "Youre angry, about your cereal. Say it. Say Fuck with your chest!"

[normal voice] And I was like, "...Fuck!" and his little daughter was like [less gruff accented voice] "Yeah my daddy lets me say Bitch!"

[adactivity]

[mayoryon-blog]

I never did get to show her…

[dragguns]

This is the saddest post on tumblr

[mosticonicposts]

certified iconic post