Broken Hearted America @heartbroken-nation - Tumblr Blog

If anyone still follows me, I want you to know that I’ve found happiness. I’ve been MIA because I have no need to write it out anymore.

Yet again, I called you. Like the thousands of times before, I tore open the wound I thought I had finally stitched shut. The day I stop picking fights with my old demons is a day I doubt I’ll encounter.

when I first met you, I had no idea of the monster you'd turn me into. There was no warning label. The second I met you, it was all over. Innocence stripped away like our clothes on my basement floor. How beautiful I thought you were, but what a corrupt eyesight I have when the lights aren't on. You drowned me in your demons, and now I'm left with your reputation. While you're out fucking every girl in this town, Im considered the slut, the whore, the girl you shouldn't waste your time with. There was no warning label when I met you. Just a boy in oil stained jeans and greasy hair, laying on my best friends bed as we listened to shitty music complaining about our shitty lives. How innocent the demons you spread portray themselves to me.

I don't know the circumstance, I don't know the story of what happened or why it happened but I can tell you this: it gets better. It will be better and nothing can be taken from you that you don't give to anyone. You're a writer and a pretty good one and honestly, that wasn't given to you by your ex or your ex best friend that's the fire in you that only you can give yourself. I don't know what exactly happened but i promise you it gets better and it will for you. Do it for you no one else.

this really means a lot to me. thank you.

I'm sitting at my laptop trying to write about you, but I can't. I can't write about you anymore. I can't. The creativity streams that used to spill from my mind have run dry. Your absence has stolen that from me.

-j

I'm starting to remember why I hated myself in the first place.

The people I love become ghosts.

I was the bullet in a pistol, and she had the misfortune of being my next target.

I just wanna get sloppy drunk with you. I wanna slur my words and confess to you the feelings I have that I was never admit sober. I wanna be honest with you but my own mind keeps me from it. Please just let me throw some liquor in my body and let it intoxicate my thoughts. Then maybe, just maybe I'll be able tell you the lovely mess you've left in my helpless romantic heart.

-j. Dude I still fucking love you?

I’m not exactly broke. But I’m not exactly whole. You tore me into something in between.

J

He’s never believed in unconditional love, and he never will. He believes love is circumstantial, and no one deserves, nor can anyone love unconditionally. It’s funny now, because that’s exactly what I gave him. Unconditional love. I gave him a love he didn’t believe in. And maybe that’s why he left. I gave him a love he couldn’t see, or feel. It just was. The love was simply there without a rhyme or a reason.

-j

Will you look at the sky and be reminded of my blue eyes? Will you be angry at the clouds when they cover up the sky like my bangs used to cover my eyes? You'll stop and your smile will fade just like my existence and presence in you. Gone in the blink of an eye, perpetuated by the falling of the night sky

-j // oh my god

How dare he, he knew, he fucking knew how that would effect you, he didn’t even think of you. Darling, I’m so sorry. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re too good for him. You’re more mature, you love deeper. Even though it may be destroying you now, when you find the right one, you’ll give them your everything and it’ll be worth it, you deserve so much better baby girl.

J//a note from my best friend

I understand baby, I understand. It sucks seeing them with another. It's a pain no alcohol or pills can numb. It's fucking stupid because it won't go away, so we are forced to have our veins continuously having vodka present in them, and pills dissolving into our blood streams. We should never put faith into another human being, never. Let's think of this as a lesson, a lesson that what they are, they aren't love

We may love them, but they never loved us. They loved our beauty and happiness, but not our ugly anger and depression. They loved the makeup on our skin, but not the scars. They cared when we had smiles on our face, but not tears. They didn’t love us darling, they could claim they did, but baby that isn’t love.

j// my best friend has all the right words

oh. my. god. What the hell did you do to me. It’s three is the fucking morning and all I can do is think of you. Hell, all I ever do is think about you. Lately it just keeps getting worse. I keep thinking more and more. The thought of your lips interlocked with mine is driving me mad. On nights like this, I crave your presence. Being without you is..its..it’s torturous. I need you to hold me. I need to have my arms wrapped around your body as I take in your scent. I miss you the minute you leave. Please. Please come back.

j

#excerpt from a book i'll never write

We’re caught in a mine field of mixed emotions. One wrong step and everything we’ve built up is blown to bits

j / break me

#excerpt from a book i'll never write

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