When You Love Too Much...

How could you promise me the world when you decided to leave me? You took my life, my happiness, & my heart with you. My world has tumbled down and you didn't even care enough to look back at me 💔

[heartbroken1117-blog]

Pretending

It hurts to know that this relationship is only one-sided. I know I made a mistake and I'm still waiting for your forgiveness but honestly, when we are in the same room and I try to hug you, you turn away. When I want to kiss you, you face your cheek to me. When i want to hug you, you don't wrap your arms around me. When I cook for you, you don't taste the love and hard work I put into it. But why am I still pretending that you still love me? Why are you pretending that this relationship will actually work? When I talk to you so sweetly, you respond to a hard and strong tone. You say your not mad but by the look of it, your irritated by me. As if everything about me is makes you sick and want to die. Is this how you see me and will treat me from now on? Is my hardship and effort not enough for you to see me suffer?? Because going like this where I'm trying my best yet you don't show any interest, makes me feel worthless as a person. Because of that I see myself lower than the ground to even hope for something special to happen between us again. Why do I have to go on pretending that this relationship would work when its been hopeless all along? Because I am still hopeful and have faith. But relationships can't be one-sided. If you don't feel the same way then please stop pretending and spare not your heart and life but also mine. You are hurting me more by making me expect when what you can do is break it to me quickly and let me live my life hoping for someone else who can give me the love that I've been longing from you. Please tell me, why do you keep pretending?

[danger]

[heartbroken1117-blog]

I made this account so I can pour all my feelings. Things I can't share with others because it will be too hard for me to accept that they know we are not together anymore. Nearly 5 years we have been together. Expressed our deepest love together and built a family. Its so funny how it takes soo much time and effort to build something, but so fast to end it. These past few days were full of sadness. It was torture to me while you sit there, heartless. While I sob and weep, you did nothing to comfort me. You never cared enough to make me stop crying. All i heard from you were your constant bitter words. But how stupid of me to even hope and believe that you would have the slightest love & care for me to even comfort me like how you did those previous fights. Has your love gone dry? Have I not given you enough? Am I that selfless of a person to turn you into this? With all these questions in my head as I cry and watch you coldheartedly ignoring every aspect of me, I'm still stupid enough to even hope and believe that you would love me and take me back again. Its been 2 days since you ended it, the scar has gotten worse. My first day back at work and it's just so hard to even look up at people. My head is constantly down because all these pain keeps beating me up inside that I'm trying my best to be sane. If I look up and smile, tears will rather fall quickly from my eyes. I don't want anyone to see my puffy eyelids and red eyes because then they will know I've been crying. I don't want them to know what I'm going through because it will only make cry. I help customers and I smile so big, but deep inside im breaking little by little by the hour. I talk with a dry throat because I spend so much of my time sobbing. Customers are starting to notice my scratchy throat and puffy eyes. But I remember you always telling me "you shouldn't care what people thinks/say" but its too late. You are gone, you are never gonna come back to us as a family and husband. So everyday from now on, I'm hurting because I daydream a lot about you coming back to us. Everyday I'm hurting inside but I try to smile to people and pretend my life is happy and i just say "IM OK" I hope and pray to the Lord that he guides you and leads you back to us.