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@heartconditionsblog
Murphy's Law
Anxiety, stress, and fear were what my days were full of ever since the incident with the dad. I didn’t feel safe anymore nor free to occupy the same space with him. I tried to stay out of the house as much as I could during the weekends, retreating to the boy‘s place in Rockingham even if it meant a long commute. But of course, even these little moments of escapade couldn’t stop things from…
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"I’m Almost 40 and I’m Finally Ready to Admit I Don’t Have a Friend Group"
“I’m Almost 40 and I’m Finally Ready to Admit I Don’t Have a Friend Group”
This morning I came across this article from PureWow about exactly what the title of this post says: admitting that this lady’s got no squad. Even though I’m not quite at this age as the author, I can relate so much!
Living abroad and having “left behind,” so to say, all that was familiar and established for everything new and uncertain has shallowed some communication between me and my friends…
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No Getting Better
As much as I needed to handle the situationwith the dad, I was fortunate enough that he was self-aware. He himself realized how bad things could go with the amount of personal information he had voluntarily shared with me, added with the fact that he’d been a little too physical with me. So he immediately tried to patch things up, and I accepted with open arms. I didn’t want any awkwardness with…
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Paper Chasing
As it is with any long-stay in a country where you’re not a citizen, paperwork is demanded. To go to Australia, I got the work-holiday visa, and the process was instantaneous and from the comfort of my bed. Going off my experience of having to get a student visa to study abroad when I was still in college, I thought I’d need at least 2 weeks and go in person to a physical office, but nope. In…
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Changes As an Au Pair
Changes As an Au Pair
Joining a family completely different from mine, in a country so far away from home, I did not come back as the same person. Here are some of the things that I noticed changed about me after having my experience as an au pair and simply living abroad: Scheduled and regular bed times became a thing again. There’s no faking it with kids. If you’re tired, you’re doomed. And then the routine just…
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More Daddy Issues
In hindsight, I probably was much more trusting in the host dad than I should have been. I admit, I have a tendency to be that way. Even though we come in as an additional “family” member, so to say, I find it’s impossible for them to see us that way. It’s completely normal because we really aren’t family, but even the personal boundaries and level of respect is not comparable to what you’d give…
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Swipe Right
My “relationship” with the boy from Rockingham had been having its ups and downs, and I was soon finding myself with a lot of free time. At first, I thought I’d be active and go jogging and keeping my body in shape. How quickly those ambitions burned out. I always think that I like to run, but I actually really hate it. I hate hearing my own panting and the heaviness in each step. I know, you’re…
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Boys, boys, boys
Coming from a family of 3 girls, I’d never lived in one where the boys outnumbered the girls. Nor had I ever had to take care of prepubescent ones at that. Then all at once, that’s what I was facing: a family with no girls. Let me tell you, boys stink, literally. Especially for the 12 year old, it was imperative that he shower every damn night. His socks, shoes, and bedsheets all needed to be…
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Facebook IRL
Again at this city, I needed to meet people my age. The mom had told me about several Facebook groups of other au pairs in our area. So I quickly joined them, and set a date to meet up with 2 girls who were relatively close by. Potential friends, hurrah! Much like it was with the parents opening up about their personal lives a tad bit too much for comfort, meeting these 2 girls, I felt like we…
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Humans of New York
Daddy Issues
At this second host family, I was much more willing to prove myself an asset. Thankfully, they were a lot more accustomed to having an au pair, so they had a very specific schedule that I would follow. There was none of the ambiguous expectations that I had struggled with so much at the last place, and definitely no more driving. Things all seemed to be peachy. The only major hiccup in this…
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The Blond Ghost
After having left the first host family on unfavorable terms, the host mom wrote to my emergency contact, my sister, assuming that I hadn’t been keeping in touch with my family while all of this unraveled. Of course they were informed. In reply to her email, my sister wrote: Hey Host Mom, First and foremost thank you for letting my sister into your house and for the opportunity. It is very…
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Hang in there, tiny yeti #heartconditions
This sort of mood #heartconditions
Fabric paint, Sharpies, paint marker, and some good ol creativity
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