Noctis Arcana

18+ blog My themes and writing are dark and touch on topics that might upset some people. You’ve been warned, I’m not responsible for your discomfort.

[heavy-eyez]

Masterlist

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Ghost Adventures, Just Have Faith Series

Book 1: Just Have Faith (Wattpad only)

Book 2: Nebulochaotic (Wattpad only)

Book 1: Just Have Faith (Wattpad, AO3)

Book 2: ??? (New, will update once finished)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

- Untitled WIP

- Blurbs?

- One Shots?

[heavy-eyez]

Bucky Barnes Untitled WIP Masterlist

Welcome to the BBUWIP! As of right now, I do not have a name for this work. So I will be leaving it nameless for the time being haha. This is a 2012-esc tower fic that semi follows the Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline. This is just a fan fiction, if you don’t like it, don’t read it!

This series contains mature themes such as violence, sex, alcohol consumption, and is therefore rated 18+. I’m not responsible for any distress this may cause to anyone under the age of 18 who chooses to read this. You are doing that on your own behalf, you’ve been warned, don’t leave any negative comments if you don’t like/agree with certain things, It’ll just get deleted and I don’t check my messages :)

Enjoy!

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 1

2013

The hustle and bustle of the Tower is nothing new. People chatting about diagnostics and new updates to the tech they have already. Someone mentions something about a coworker going on maternity leave soon and another mentions how a project lead is a jerk and doesn’t know what he’s doing. Tony Stark walks in to gossip with the other techs before heading back up to his lab.

“You know that you don’t have to trail behind me like that all the time right? I know you have other responsibilities.” Tony says turning around.

I look up from the tablet I’m tapping away on.

“Yes, I know. But you tend to get into a mood when I don’t show up in the morning.” I say

“… Yeah, I guess you’re right. Go on, get outta here. I think Rogers needs your help with the coffee machine. He’s in town for the week.” Tony says, “And when you’re done, go finish that little project you’ve been working on.”

I nod once and hurry off to the common room to help Mister Rogers. Natasha is in the kitchen with him already, cursing at him in Russian about not being able to work something so easy.

“Captain Rogers, may I assist you in making your coffee?” I ask, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Finally! Someone who’s offering to be useful. I’m trying to make a simple black coffee.” Steve says, glaring at Natasha.

I chuckle and set up the machine to make a black coffee. I can feel Steve’s eyes on me, watching as I press buttons and load in the coffee pod he likes.

“You know… You remind me so much of a friend I used to have back in the day.” He says, “You look and move just like her.”

Here we go again.

“She must have been a great friend. You talk about her a lot.” I say, smiling softly, still not meeting his eyes.

“She was great. Always there for me and Bucky when we needed her. More than a couple times where she had to bail us out of the slammer.” Steve says, like I’m supposed to remember that little fact.

Ever since we met he’s done this. It’s been over a year. Natasha told me that I shouldn’t tell him who I was until I was ready. I’m never ready, and I don’t know when or if I will be ready. I’ve always been a procrastinator though. Which is one of the reasons I haven’t told him yet. It’s on the list, though! I’ll get to it eventually!

“Wow… you guys must have gotten into a lot of trouble together, then.” I say as I pour him his black coffee in the motorcycle shaped mug that Tony gifted him last year for Christmas.

It was supposed to be a gag gift but Steve loves it.

“Loads.” he says, and as if on cue, he tries to catch me in a lie, “You remember that time at Coney Island? Summer of ‘37? When he took me on that ride…. What was it called again?”

“I have no idea, Mister Rogers.” I say, “I was born in 1993.”

Steve sips his coffee, slowly, his blue eyes narrowing slightly. I remain stoic, not giving anything away.

“Mmmm… Okay. Thanks for the coffee, Miss Cain.” Steve says, before walking away.

As soon as he’s gone, Natasha clears her throat. 

“You are never gonna tell him are you?” She asks 

I turn to glare at her. 

“I’ll tell him when I’m ready.” I say, “It’s on my list.” 

I pick up my tablet to let the system know that I’ve completed my task and am now preparing to go to my private little lab to finish that project Tony asked me to work on. A new arc reactor. He needed a new prototype and asked me personally to make one. I grab an apple and a bottle of water before heading towards the elevator. 

“You’re gonna have to tell him sometime, Mars.” Natasha says 

“Don’t call me that.” I whisper, not facing her. “My name is Noa.” 

“That’s just a cover.” Natasha says, “You’re name is- ” 

The air crackles around us. I turn, a cold, dark glare aimed at her. Natasha takes a step back. 

“I said… My name is Noa.” I say lowly. 

“Right. I’m just saying, Noa. He’s gonna find out sooner or later. Better that it comes from you than anyone else.” She says 

The air settles and I turn back towards the elevator. I press the call button and the car comes speeding up, doors opening. 

“I’ll see you later, Natasha.” I say before stepping inside. 

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Hours pass in the lab. I’ve completed Tony’s new Arc Reactor and I’m just waiting for him to come down to take a look. The doors to my lab open as I’m spinning a wooden top on the table. I look up, Bruce Banner is standing in my doorway. 

“Oh. Doctor Banner! Good afternoon! How may I help you?” I ask, slamming my hand down on the toy, quickly stopping it and hiding it in my hand behind my back. 

“Hey, Noa. I actually came down to tell you that Tony wants you upstairs in his lab to see the reactor. He said you finished it?” Doctor Banner says taking a few more steps inside, scanning my very neat and very organized lab. “This is your lab?” 

I nod quickly. 

“Yes! Yes. Please, take a look, feel free to look at anything.” I say waving my hand around. 

The room is small, with only a workbench and counter on the wall, a small work table with drawers in the middle, and some shelves with some knickknacks. There’s an open laptop plugged into the wall on one of my half counters, displaying a blueprint of the original arc reactor and how it works. 

“It’s… very nice. A bit small, but I like it. You’re organized.” Doctor Banner says. 

“Oh.. thank you. Um… messes stress me out.” I say nervously as I set the top on the table, spinning it again. 

Doctor Banner takes a look at the Lava Lamp on my work bench. 

“That was a silly arcade prize.” I lie, horribly might I add. 

“This is pretty cool. You know Tony used to have one of these but it was like thirty feet tall.” Doctor Banner says 

”Really?” I ask “That’s cool.” 

“Very. Speaking of Tony, we should get going before he comes down here and starts complaining about how cramped this workshop is.” Doctor Banner chuckles. 

I smile softly and place my hand over the spinning top again, then I grab the box containing the new arc reactor and follow Bruce out to the elevator

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Tony’s lab is huge. I’m talking bigger than any other lab that I’ve seen in my time here. I wasn’t allowed in the lab when I was first hired, mostly for safety reasons, and in my year working here, I never had any reason to go in. So when all the bits and bobs and the robot arms and machines are finally revealed to me, I’m a little in shock. It reminds me of someone else I used to know. He would have loved this lab if he were to have seen it. The sound of Metallica playing loudly in one corner of the lab fills my ears. I see Tony working on a robotic arm, practically degrading it. 

“So dumb… yup. I know, I don’t know how you get yourself in these situations.” Tony hums as we approach. 

He’s got a screw driver hanging from between his teeth, and for a second, he looks exactly like his father. I blink as I watch him snip a couple wires that are tangled around the rapidly beeping machine.

“Hang on, I’m almost done.” He says. 

The machine chirps and wriggles about, almost nervously. Tony steps back and puts his hands on his hips. 

“You know, it’s only gonna take longer if you keep wiggling.” Tony says, taking the small screw driver from his mouth and setting it on the counter. 

Then he spots Bruce and I from where we’re watching him. 

“Ah! Miss Cain! You have the new prototype? Gimmie, gimmie.” Tony says, abandoning the machine, which is now beeping in annoyance. “You stay. I’ll come back for you in a minute.” 

I set the box containing the new arc reactor on the work table between us and slide it closer to him. 

“It’s just like you asked.” I say, “hopefully up to your standards. if not i can make another one.” 

Tony opens the box and pulls the new reactor out, inspecting it. 

“Bruce, you’re good to go. Take a lunch or something.” Tony says, turning the reactor in his hands. 

Bruce nods and leaves. I suddenly feel a little more anxious. Bruce was supposed to act like a buffer in case Tony didn’t like it! He was supposed to stay! 

“You followed the blueprint exactly?” Tony asks me, turning the music down. 

“Yes, sir.” I say. “I have the data logs on my laptop if you would-” 

“No need. I trust you.” Tony says walking away from the work table to go it in a reclined chair. “I like the weight. It’s just heavy enough but it’s not gonna drag on my chest.” 

I follow him to the chair. Then I watch him peel off his shirt and start taking out the arc reactor currently sitting in his chest. 

I follow him to the chair. Then I watch him peel off his shirt and start taking out the arc reactor currently sitting in his chest. 

“Mister Stark! Oh my god!” I say, trying to look away but also trying to make sure he doesn’t kill himself.

“Don’t worry, this is perfectly safe. There’s no more shrapnel in my chest.” Tony says as a mechanical arm comes down to take the old reactor. “Don’t be such a prude. C’mon, I’ve been working out, tell me I’m doing a good job.” 

I keep my gaze firmly on his face, flushing from embarrassment. 

“I’m sure you’re doing great.” I say, glancing down at his chest cavity, where a smaller mechanical arm is attaching something on the inside to the new reactor. 

The ring slips and Tony’s eyebrows raise in shock. 

“Here, come grab this.” Tony says, motioning me over. 

“Wha- what?!” I ask as I step forwards anyways. 

“Here, just hold this. Don’t pull too hard, you might yank it free and then my heart will stop.” Tony says as he fiddles with the baseplate of the reactor. 

I stand there, with my hand in his chest cavity, holding a slimy, warm, copper colored ring, trying not to pull it too hard in case I accidentally kill him. This is all very stressful for me. And I don’t know why he would trust me to do this. 

“Alright, here we go. I’m gonna slide this in and that little ring your holding is gonna snap right into place and bam, we’re all done.” Tony says as he positions the reactor. 

“Sir, i don’t think I’m qualified-”

“Sure you are! You built it! You went to MIT and Colombia!” Tony interjects

Yeah… in 1935!

He manages to get the reactor in without a problem and I’m able to slide my now greasy hand out of his chest cavity and wipe it on a a greasy rag on a table nearby. 

“Never ask me to do that for you again.” I say, visibly stressed, “Ever.” 

“Man, you look just like Pepper when I had her do this in 2009.” Tony chuckles, as he cleans his chest off.

He puts his shirt back on and I step back as he slides off the reclined chair. 

“Good job. You did great, seriously. Thanks a bunch!” Tony says as he gets back to detangling the machine he was working on earlier. 

“That’s it?! That’s- Jesus Christ.” I mumble as I walk away, heading back to my lab to grab my tablet and to continue my day.

~~~

Word count: 2027

Semi proofread, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I finished writing this in my history class on my iPad lol

woof, i kinda forgot that I had this draft saved. Sorry for the irregular updates. I got busy with work and summer break is almost over and I’m gonna be going back soon, so hopefully I’m not as busy this year. Also!! This is my first time writing actual adults! All my other fics are teenagers that I wrote when I was a teenager and am either editing to look better, or rewriting completely! Let me know if you prefer to have the word count at the top or the bottom and if you’re liking the story so far!

(Any comment some name suggestions, I still have no idea what to call this LMAO)

[heavy-eyez]

Untitled Work Prolouge

2012

The morning sun hits the windows of the building, making patterns dance on the floor with the shadows of people walking through the lobby. She sits in the lobby chair, waiting patiently for her name to be called. She has a sleek black folder in her equally sleek black purse. She wore pressed dress pants, a fitted black long sleeved turtleneck, and had an unbuttoned black blazer over top. Her long, mahogany colored hair was pulled back into a slick bun at the nape of her neck and she wore minimal makeup. She was told over text that she looked like ‘she was going to get arrested for stunning someone with that face’, and though she didn’t quiet know what that meant, she assumed it was a complement and went off about her day.

When her name is finally called, she stands. She smooths out her shirt, grabs her bag, and follows the receptionist. The only sound in the hallway is the click of the heeled boots that she borrowed from her sister’s closet.

“Miss Cain, welcome! We are so pleased to have you here!” The ginger woman says, as soon as the receptionist pushes open the interview room door. “Please come in!”

Miss Cain, smiles politely, and steps into the room. The ginger woman sits at a nearby table that is covered in papers and Manila folders.

“Please have a seat. My name is Pepper Potts, I’ll be conducting your interview today. Did you bring your resume?” The woman, Pepper, asks.

“Nice to meet you, and yes, I did bring my resume.” Miss Cain says, pulling out the sleek black folder from her black purse.

She hands it over and waits while Pepper takes a look through the papers. Miss Cain hopes that she has everything, going through her mental checklist of documents needed for this interview.

“You have quite the extensive education history. MIT, Columbia, even a few local community colleges. And you’ve worked for some important people too. I’m surprised you want to work here.” Pepper says, handing the folder back to Miss Cain, “Why do you want to work here? You could have any job you want.”

“I would like to work someplace where I can use my degrees in Biochemistry and engineering. I was told that I could do that here.” Miss Cain explains, “Plus, I hated working in a cubicle. Too many people coming to bother me about trivial things.”

Pepper smiles.

“I think you’d fit right in. Unfortunately…” and there it was, the rejection, “the last lab assistant position was closed the day before you applied.”

Crap.

“However!” Pepper says

Miss Cain looks up from the folder on the table.

“I do have a personal assistant position available. You’d be working directly under Tony Stark. You’re a bit over qualified for the position, but I think you’d be able to keep up with him.” Pepper says.

“I’ll take it.” Miss Cain says quickly.

“Perfect. I’ll write you in for the personal assistant position then. You’ll be working thirty hours a week, holidays and weekends off. Now if the pay is too little for you, we can always renegotiate, but Tony is really hard to deal with- ”

“I’ve dealt with worse.” Miss Cain says

“Are you sure?” Pepper asks

“Yes.”

“… I think he’s gonna like you.” Pepper smiles, “Alrighty then. Here’s the job description, the agreement form, a non-disclosure agreement, and all employees get their own StarkTech tablets. Completely customizable. This is the newest version. Tony requires everybody to have one. And one more thing.”

“Yes?” Miss Cain asks taking the forms and the box containing the tablet, as she pulls a pen out of her bag to sign the said forms.

“There is an option for you to live off site or you can live here in the tower. You’d have your own personal suite on the lower levels, possibly level three or four. You’d wouldn’t be required to work holidays or weekends, like I said, and you’re free to roam the tower as you wish on your days off. It’s just an option. Most people prefer to live with their families, spouses, et cetera.” Pepper explains, “But for your protection and ours, it’s preferable if you live on-site.”

“Does… does living on site provide any other benefits?” Miss Cain asks, slowly

“Full access to the medical bay, covered of course by Mister Stark, access to the labs and technology, full access to the gym and pool, full access to the physical and digital library, and you’ll have full access to the food bars. Tony likes to have lunch catered on Fridays from the local Shawarma restaurant down the street in exchange for them promoting the new StarkTech on their storefront.” Pepper says, “If you lived off site you wouldn’t have access to the gym, the pool, or the medical bay.”

Miss Cain nods in understanding. Living here might not be a bad idea. It would be good for her. ‘Exposure therapy’ as her therapist would say.

“How.. uh- how soon can I move in?” She asks Pepper.

“I can have a team of movers at your place tomorrow morning.” Pepper smiles.

Miss Cain nods.

“Tomorrow morning works for me.” She says softly

She tries a smile, but feels it comes off as a grimace, so she drops it immediately.

“Alright.” Pepper says “Then I have this additional form for you to sign.”

Miss Cain signs all the forms she’s been given and slides them back to Pepper.

“Well, you’re all set to go home and start packing. I’ll reach out to you tonight with your suite number and I’ll give you an official tour tomorrow. After that, you’ll shadow me for the day and see what working for Tony is like. Sometimes you’ll do other things for the other avengers. You’ll meet some of them tomorrow most likely. Some of them live here as well.” Pepper says “Have a good rest of your day, and please, get to know your tablet. It’s going to be your new best friend in this tornado of a job.”

Miss Cain nods and takes the tablet box off the table, sliding it into her purse and standing.

“Thank you again, for this wonderful opportunity.” She says, holding her hand out to Pepper.

They shake hands, and then Miss Cain, in her sleek black outfit, with her sleek black purse, is heading out the door, into the lobby, and out onto the busy sidewalk of New York.

“Demianova…”

The voice is soft, familiar, Russian…

Miss Cain turns and spots the red haired woman in the shade by the side of the building.

“Natalia.” she says, “What are you doing here? I thought…”

“Did you forget I work here?” The other woman replies, “And Natasha is fine. You know I hate being called Natalia.”

“I did forget. I’m sorry.” Miss Cain says, blushing.

The women hug briefly and then walk together.

“How did the interview go?” Natasha asks.

“I got a job.” Miss Cain replies softly.

“Really?! Which one!”

“Tony Stark’s Personal Assistant.”

“Oh! That sounds fun.” Natasha smirks

“I hope. You will be there too, yes?”

“I’ll be there, yes.”

“Good. We need to work on our cover story. How we will know each other and ho-”

“I already told them you were applying for the job. I lied and said we’re sisters from the Red Room. You’re obviously younger than I am, but no one needs to know your real age yet.” Natasha clarifies

“Oh.” Miss Cain says, “And they are alright with… who I am?”

“Your past doesn’t matter here. But I didn’t tell them anything about you. Just that you were once in the Red Room, but you got out quickly. No missions, no killing, you were still doing your final training stage when you left.” Natasha says.

“So they do not know about the… other study?” Miss Cain asks, “The truth?”

“Your secret is safe with me. Unless you want me to spill it.”

She shakes her head.

“No. They will not trust me if they find out.” Miss Cain says, “It is better buried.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Authors Note:

Hello again! This is the prologue of my new book. It's a Bucky Barnes X OC. It kinda sorta follows the MCU storyline, with my own little changes here and there. The book doesn't have a name right now so it'll literally be "Unnamed Book" until i figure that out lol. It's good to be back! and don't worry, I'm working on my other fic as well. It's just a slow process, so please don't expect consistent updates

[heavy-eyez]

"... I don't want that! I deal with enough just trying to get to the airport and on the plane! I don't want or need any extra added stress! And I promise this has nothing to do with you. I love you, and I don't mind that you're like super famous! I just don't want my friends to use me for that!"

"I love you too, more than you'll ever know, and I'm excited to see you making these big steps in your life. It makes me really happy to see how far you've come. Is it wrong of me to want to get to know the people who have a hand in that?"

Excerpts from JHF book 2

[heavy-eyez]

(Copy and paste directly from Wattpad @ heavy_eyez)

~~~Book Updates~~~

Nebulochaotic: UPDATES IN PROGRESS

Unholy: UPDATES IN PROGRESS

MCU Fic: UPDATES IN PROGRESS

Things are happening very slowly. This time around I don’t have much time to update at work. I’m surrounded by people constantly, I am everywhere all the time helping 15 some odd kids at a time LMAO, there’s no privacy at work anymore. To top it off, one of my coworkers is out for a month and (as smart as he is) the sub undoubtedly will need my help with one of coworkers classes.

Thank you SO FREAKING MUCH for being so incredibly patient. Getting back into work has helped my writers block immensely. Working with the kids again really helps me get back into writing a teenage mindset, allowing me to write Faith and my new OC, Maddi (Unholy), that much better.

Thanks again for all the love and support you’ve all given to my works. Please be sure that you’re following to get these notification updates from me. I’ll also be posting on my tumblr (link in bio) more! Including this update!

- heavy_eyez

For my tumblr users, I will be creating a tag list for each series. Please comment under this post with the emoji corresponding to the series you’d like to receive updates from.

- Just Have Faith 2 (Nebulochaotic): 👻

- Unholy (NASCAR fic): 🏎️ 📚

- MCU Fic (Bucky Barnes x OC): 🦾 ❤️

(I have another Nascar fic in the works, it’s the same premise as Unholy, just a slightly different plot line if you’d like me to post the other one, comment ‘THE DRIVER’ and tell post it & give it its own taglist)

[kissesforbucky]

❝ REQUESTS ARE: open, request a prompt and any marvel character & it will become a part of bailey’s kinktober. ❞

❝ you CAN be added to the taglist, just ask and i’ll add happily add you. ❞

❝ this will contain a total of 16 fanfics, a new one will be published every other day. ❞

❝ our filthy month is around the corner, so here’s a kinktober masterlist, ‘cause it’s my first kinktober and i’d like to be prepared & i still haven’t finished the first part of ‘BOUND TOGETHER’ so here’s me making up for it…❞

❝ .ᐟ — smut, ⟢ — fluff, ☆ — angst, ꨄ︎ — bailey’s fav (only smut will be included.) ❞

MASTERLIST

❝ NUMBER ONE, 1st of oct. ❞

⤷ PHONE SEX

— needy? .ᐟ tfatws!bucky barnes x fem!reader

❝ NUMBER TWO, 3rd of oct. ❞

⤷ GUN PLAY

— the thrill of it .ᐟ avenger!bucky barnes x avenger!fem!reader

❝ NUMBER THREE, 5th of oct. ❞

⤷ OVERSTIMULATION

— take it, baby. .ᐟ bob reynolds x fem!reader

❝ NUMBER FOUR, 7th of oct. ❞

⤷ DADDY KINK

— scream for me .ᐟ older!bucky barnes x younger!fem!reader

❝ NUMBER FIVE, 9th of oct. ❞

⤷ SHOWER SEX

— steamy sessions .ᐟ thunderbolts!bucky barnes x fem!reader

❝ NUMBER SIX, 11th of oct. ❞

⤷ STRIPPER TROPE

— lady in the streets, slut in the sheets .ᐟ bucky barnes x stripper!fem!reader

❝ NUMBER SEVEN, 13th of oct. ❞

⤷ TEASING

— you feel that? .ᐟ bucky barnes x fem!reader (established relationship)

❝ NUMBER EIGHT, 15th of oct. ❞

⤷ ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS

— fuck you, literally .ᐟ mean!bucky barnes x fem!reader

❝ NUMBER NINE, 17th of oct. ❞

⤷ NO HANDS ORGASM

— silent pleasure .ᐟ tfatws!bucky barnes x fem!reader

MORE WORKS TO BE ADDED…

© kissesforbucky original work !

[heavy-eyez]

I have ✨the writers block ✨ and have not been able to write anything in the second book of ‘Just Have Faith’

Guess that’s what happens when you work damn near every single day for nearly a year and a half to push out chapters that fit along with the original story line but also making them interesting and better.

Someone help 😰

[heavy-eyez]

Thank You for Reading!

‘Just Have Faith’ Book 1, 2025 version is now fully published on Tumblr. It would mean the absolute world to me if you all could share, reblog, or like it. Or you can read the Wattpad version (exactly the same, different app). Wattpad of course has both versions of both books, published. I am currently working on book two, which is still in the drafts, but hopefully I can get some chapters out soon.

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 28: A Twist of Fate

*Investigation Day*

Stardust Ranch, Buckeye, Arizona.

I don't know how I ended up in such a peaceful looking area. There is nothing strange about it from the van. As soon as I step out of the van and onto the dirt, I feel a buzz.

"You okay?" Zak asks coming out behind me

"This place..."

"I know right? It's crazy. Dave said that it was insane, a true lucky find."

"No it's... buzzing." I say

He turns to me

"What do you mean?" He asks

"I can feel the electricity from here. It's... powerful." I say

"You think you can handle it? You can stay in the RV, I don't have a problem with that."

"I'll be fine. It's... not terrible." I say walking further down the dirt path.

"Okay. Do you want to take a walk around the property while we conduct the interview?" Zak asks

"Can I? Is that okay?" I ask

"Yeah. Do what you need, hun. Before you go though, come meet Dave Schrader. He's our researcher." Zak says

I follow him to meet the bald man standing near a church.

"Dave, What's up man. This is Faith, my daughter." Zak says

I turn to look at the cameras briefly before giving Dave a small wave.

"Hi, Faith. Nice to meet you. Zak has told me so much about you." Dave says holding out his hand for me to shake

I just look at it.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Schrader." I say politely, not shaking his hand

"She doesn't do any kind of physical greeting." Zak explains

"Oh. No worries!" Dave says

I take a few steps back to avoid being in the shots and stare out into the distance while the men talk. I can hear Zak getting excited about something but I don't pay it much concern, instead, turning my focus to the dirt under the boots Zak insisted I wear. He said that I needed them for grip in case we go hiking in the mountain. I haven't done much hiking but I didn't protest.

The buzz isn't terrible now that I've gotten used to being on it. It's not like a normal buzz that you hear when the lights are on. It's a feeling in my bones, like they're actually vibrating. It's a weird feeling that I can only compare to standing on a speaker playing on full blast.

Zak and Dave talk for a little before they start wrapping up and getting things back in the RV.

"Dave is gonna follow us to the ranch and we will go from there, okay?"

I nod and get into the bus.

It's about a two minute drive from the church to the corner where the ranch is and another three minutes to make it to the actual entrance of the ranch. There's a horse in one of the front pens by the sign. It's white and looks older. The house is further inside the fence. The guys park out front and start getting their camera's ready. Dave is already talking to the man inside the house. He's a thinner man with thin, metal rimmed glasses in his face. Dave waves to Zak and the guys in the van and Zak gives a thumbs up before jogging over. They talk for a little while and Zak jogs back to tell the guys where to set up the cameras and such. He pops his head into the RV and scans the small living area for me.

"Hey, you wanna take a walk around the place? We're gonna get started on the interviews and then shoot some B-roll before heading to our next interview. You're more than welcome to stay in the RV if you want though." Zak says

"I'll head out once you guys are inside. I don't want to be in the way." I say.

"No problem.... You sure you'll be okay?" He asks

"Yeah... Why?" I ask, sensing some unease in his voice

"I just.... I feel like we don't spend enough time together and you really need someone to just support you, someone more stable. I can cut back in filming for a while, if you want! We can go on vacation together! Anywhere you want!" He offers

"Zak, I promise, you're doing great. Don't change anything about your filming schedule just for me. We can go on vacation after we finish filming here." I say "Plus, I have Whiskey to keep me company while you guys film."

Zak looks at me and then to Whiskey, who's asleep on the floor next to me.

"Okay, kiddo. As long as you're certain." He says with a small smile.

He leaves the RV and I watch as he switches to 'Work-Zak' mode. They all move like a well oiled machine. I make up dialogue for them as they talk, it makes me laugh and keeps me entertained. I end up taking a little nap on the bed above the drivers seat to pass the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Several hours later*

I stand outside wearing my thick winter coat. It's colder in the desert at night than it is in Oregon on a normal day. I'm waiting for Zak to let me into the house. The buzzing in the ground is more intense closer to the house, I can feel it in my legs and teeth. Like I'm standing inside fluorescent lights. My teeth start to chatter as the door opens.

"Sorry, kid. We had to adjust the cameras. They're still filming, but we're gonna have you sit in the kitchen and take notes on what you feel, see, et cetera." Zak explains, practically dragging me into the slightly warmer house.

He leads me to the kitchen, where I sit down at one of the chairs around the table. They recently let Ashley, Jay's wife, out of the house to go back to the RV. I passed her on the way in. Zak continues the investigation with Jay as I sit with a little headlamp on my head, writing down what I am feeling inside the house and or what I can see, which is nothing but the occasional shadow figure. I sit there for about thirty minutes just writing and in the zone.

All of the sudden, I get the urge to get up and go outside. Notepad in hand, I stand up quietly and head towards the front door, opening it and closing it behind me. I can see Whiskey looking at me from the window of the RV, but I don't head over to her. Instead I follow my gut and wander out into the far pasture. It's fenced off and empty, obviously not used for anything except maybe stretching the horses legs.

I climb under the fence and wander right to the middle. I feel.... Calm? There's no buzzing underneath my feet. I can feel... something... above my head. I wave my hand over my head, watching for some sort of reaction. Nothing happens. My hand just feels cold. I keep staring into the sky. My hands shake as they scribble on the page. Page after page, I feel like I'm in a trance.

I can't tear my eyes away from the sky.

I can see lights flickering in the distance.

Are they the mothership I head Zak talking about with Dave earlier?

Am I going to get abducted?

The notepad and pen falls from my hands as the sense of calm washes over me again.

I reach up, wanting to be closer to it. I can feel a warm light shining over me, but the sky above is dark and full of stars.

I can hear someone calling to me.

Screaming my name.

I just want to be taken into the warm embrace of this light. There's no suffering or malice to it. I just want to be held, like my mother used to hold me.

A low, demonic growl rips through the silence. My blood runs cold. Something else is here with me. I don't know any prayers, but I have a rosary, given to me by a priest, around my neck. I can't move my arms down to grab it. I can't feel my legs anymore, either. I feel cold, even with the jacket. Suddenly, I'm burning up. Hot, putrid air swirls around me and I choke. I can't breathe!

I can't breathe!

Something plows into me from the side, knocking me off my feet. I land in the buzzing dirt, shivering and twitching uncontrollably. I can't control this, I need to get a fucking grip!

I hear Whiskey snarling and barking. This isn't her normal bark though. This is her protective bark. It comes from deep within her chest and she's standing in front of me in a defensive position. Her ears are back, sticking straight out behind her.

"What.... Where did you? Whiskey!" I stammer as I reach for her short lead, which is attached to her service dog harness.

She snarls and whips around as I try to grab hold of her. She snaps at the air and barks. The demonic growl rips through the air again. Whiskey stills and bares her teeth as she lunges towards something behind me. She jumps right over my head and a high pitched screeching sound pierces through my head. I cover my ears and cry out in pain. The buzzing in the ground stops.

Everything goes quiet. I grab hold of Whiskey's leash. She stopped barking, but is still growling gently. Jay, sweating, panting, and dirty, suddenly appears out of nowhere.

"Faith.... *huff* What.. are... *huff, huff* you doing?" He asks, bracing himself on his knees.

"I... I don't know. Why are you dirty?" I ask

"I was trying to get a hold of Whiskey, she slipped out of my grasp and I ate shit on the dirt." he says sitting down on the floor with me.

"Did you see what happened?" I ask after a minute.

"I just saw you standing here, arms in the air, looking up. I could.... I don't know, I could feel that you had something negative surrounding you but Whiskey distracted me by barking and opening the door to the RV." He says "Are you okay? Did you eel anything enter you? Like... possess you?"

"I didn't feeel anything like that. I just felt it around me, but I have this," I pull the rosary out from under my shirt "so I think that's why I wasn't affected too much. Other than that... it got really hot and I heard something... growl." I say

"Well... you aren't being affected. I can tell that much. I'm just glad Whiskey had some sense and reacted fast enough to get to you. Even if I tried to stop her." Jay says

He takes a deep breath before getting up and holding out his hand. i take it and he helps me up.

"Let's go back to the RV, Zak has been looking for you for about thirty minutes."

"THIRTY MINUTES?!" I screech as I put the notepad and pen in my jacket pocket.

"Yeah. How long did you think it was?" Jay asks

"I thought it was like five minutes! I swear I couldn't have been gone for longer than that." I say, feeling my face pale

"I'm kidding! It was like five minutes before he realized you weren't in the house, another five to look around and then two minutes to call me and check to see if I'd seen you. So like fifteen-ish minutes. Not too bad, I had my eye on you the whole time." Jay says gently shoving me with his elbow.

I shove him with both my hands as he laughs. He always tries to make bad situations better with me. We make it back to the RV and I climb up to the bed above the drivers seat so I can get some sleep. I sleep in the thick winter coat, still freezing despite it being warmer in the RV that it is outside. Whiskey sleeps on the floor underneath my bunk and Jay finishes the investigation with Zak and the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*three weeks later*

After the investigation, Zak and I went to the doctors to get my blood work done. He got the appointments mixed up and only realized when the doctors office called him to confirm my appointment the day before. It threw our entire schedule off, but after two weeks, we got the results in the mail. Nancy came over to watch us open it, and we're all sitting at the kitchen island, staring at the letter.

"Well.. Are you guys going to open it?" She asks

"Ummm....." Zak says

"Mmmm..." I reply

"Good lord." She says "I'll open it."

Nancy tears into the thick envelope. She unfolds all the papers and starts reading quietly.

"You're allergic to grass, don't roll around in it. You also have asthma and they prescribed you an inhaler. Don't know how.... Oh they did a breathing test. Let's see.... Hmmm.... No other major allergies, just dust and grass it looks like. No genetic diseases either... let's see..." Nancy says

She flips through the pages until she reaches something that makes her eyes go wide.

"Family history!" She says excitedly

"They found your brother obviously... hm... odd... oh.. your mom is listed here, but your biological father isn't..." She trails "Oh dear."

"What?! What is it?!" I ask worried

"Um... I don't know how to say this... uhh..."

"Spit it out mom!" Zak says

"She's... She's..."

Zak snatched the packet from her hands while apologizing for it. He reads the page while I stare on.

"What does it say?" I ask

His face goes pale and he looks up to his mom. I look at the both of them.

"What?!" I ask "Oh god, am I gonna die?!"

Zak just hands me the paper and covers his mouth with his hands.

I start reading, "The alleged father cannot be excluded as the biological father of the tested child. The probability of paternity is 99.99%, assuming a prior probability of 50%... what does that mean?"

"It.... It means that Zak is... your biological father." Nancy says quietly.

"Zak..... is my dad?"

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 27: Life Sure Is Funny/ 'Swimming Lessons'

It's been three months since Kade came to my house and told me everything he knew. He'd been looking for me since he was put in the foster care system. He even got himself sent back several times just to make sure that he would be there in case I showed up, and when I did, he got scared. He couldn't tell me the truth so he shut me out of his life, watching from afar, even though he really wanted to tell me everything. He told me that he missed me and that he was sorry that he wasn't a better brother for me and he wanted to be there for me.

Zak and Jay naturally, had a lot of questions for him. Mostly how did he know, how come he never told anyone and how come he chose to get aged out of the system rather than get adopted by Zak. Kade explained that he was a little intimidated by Zak and the guys at first. Turns out he's a little shy and timid like me! But unlike me, he won't talk to anyone unless absolutely necessary. Kade had filed for citizenship in Las Vegas over a month before he arrived and it was approved the week I was off for spring break. Which is why he was trying to contact me. He was trying to connect after all these years. He also got a job and since he was 18, he was contacted by one of our families lawyers giving him access to all the money left for him in the will our parents set up for us. He was given specific instructions not to go use the money on frivolous things like cars or whatever. He instead used it to rent a small apartment nearby and start college classes at LVU. He also got a job.

In the three months following his arrival, I talked to Jay a lot about my feelings, Jay then had to leave, Kade dropped me off at school several times, met my friends, met a girl he sort of likes at school, come over for dinner several times a week, and told me all sorts of stories from when we were little. It's brought up a lot of memories for me, things I couldn't remember. I learned that I never listened to my father's directions, refused to take sophistication classes, and even wore boys clothes to upset my father. With help from my mother I was able to be tamed, but still a wild child. Always running around and being silly. He said that father eventually just gave up on me and would laugh every time I did something I wasn't supposed to be doing.

I learned a lot about old family memories and that we went on a lot of trips. Kade also remembered Zak. He remembered him being present in his life very early on but nothing really stood out to him. I learned a lot about what my parents did for work. What I thought was just a graphic design company was actually several hotels, household products, and of course, the graphic design company they used for making advertisements and such for other companies. We did live in a big house and that was sold for something more family friendly once I was born, as was most of our expensive furniture. We lived in that house until their death ten years later. Kade was 13 and I was ten. I remember more from that time in life but it's all pretty fuzzy still. Kade never lived with our aunt and uncle. He was shipped off to foster care once our parents died because he caught our uncle trying to steal money from our trusts and was going to tell the police. He did tell them, but they didn't believe him. Thankfully our uncle never got away with getting the money, but he got away with some other nasty stuff that I didn't think Kade needed to know about. Dakota and I started dating too. It was a very slow start. He had asked me out on a couple dates, and eventually just asked Zak if he could be my boyfriend. Zak, thankfully, wasn't too hard on him and said that while he doesn't agree with me dating so young, he couldn't stop me from accepting his offer. The relationship has been good so far, Dakota takes me out on little dates every weekend to see things I've never experienced before. Like the Las Vegas Strip, I got to take a lot of pictures of the people and the places. Next weekend, we're going to Henderson.

That brings us to now. Summer break. It's the end of June, almost July and it's HOT. Zak comes to find me in the air conditioned living room to tell me that he's going on an investigation soon and he wants me to go with him. I ended up telling him about my apparent psychic abilities and that I wanted to help him with communicating to spirits. My only condition in that I wasn't to be filmed at all. I already get stopped on the street enough by true crime junkies looking to get details about my kidnapping and torture. It was hard enough to go to school as it was because kids there just wanted to know out of curiosity. I know they mean well and most are truly just curious but I'm not in a place to talk about something that happened so recently and asking about it isn't going to push me to do so.

"Okay, well we can get you on the show with us and not have you be filmed. I know you want to keep some sense of privacy and anonymity. I haven't even made an official statement saying I've adopted you. Maybe sometime later this year we can make an official announcement. Does that sound good?" Zak asks

"Don't know how we got there, but sure. Whatever floats your boat." I say

"Oh! Before I forget. You have a doctor's appointment in July and you start therapy in a week. You're probably going to get bloodwork done so is there anything you want to do regarding that? Genetic testing for diseases, DNA to find any other family members? Anything of the sort? I just want to make sure you cover any bases you want covered." He says

I can feel my blood run cold at the mention of the doctor's appointment, but I take a deep breath and nod.

"Um... I want to know about my family health history. And I want DNA testing. Just for fun I guess. I know Kade and I are related but I wonder if I have any other family we don't know about. Or diseases we could inherit, you know? Could you stay with me during the appointment?" I ask

"Okay. Yeah I can stay with you during the appointment." He says

"Alright well I'll get the paperwork for the show and I'll help you fill it out. Then you'll be ready to join the show. Your name will only be mentioned in the credits unless you don't want any royalties from it at all." Zak says

I stay silent trying to figure out what royalties are.

"What's a royalties?" I ask

"Um... It's money. Like.. how do I explain it. You get paid to work on the show right? Well, the channel it plays on pays you to be on the show or in a movie let's say. They usually pay you a certain amount of money to use your footage on TV for other people to watch."

I'm more confused than when I first asked the question.

"Explain like I'm five."

"You make a movie or show. Big companies pay you money to put on TV."

"Oh. Okay. Don't I get paid like a regular job though?" I ask

"Do you need me to explain that like your five?" Zak asks

"Yes."

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on your contract. You will have regular job pay money because it's my show and I can do that."

"Okay. And you're okay with that? Like... it won't be a problem that I'm making money from your show?" I ask

"Of course it's okay. I want you to start making money, it's something you'll have to learn eventually." He says

I just nod and then sit up.

"I wanna go for a swim." I say making my way to my bedroom

"But you don't know how to swim!" Zak calls after me

"I'll figure it out!" I call back

~~~~~~~~

*Three days later, at Dakota's house*

I'm sitting in Dakota's living room, waiting for Zak to come pick me up after his meeting with his job. He taught me how to play a video game that involves killing zombies. For some reason this one doesn't trigger my PTSD like the other version does. I mean, it's fake characters and 'bots' (I don't know what those are but Dakota explained that they're like fake people) but I can't stand the thought of shooting a fake gun at a fake person in a video game.

Dakota says I'm really good at this version of the game. So far, I've been sitting here for a couple of hours and have only died once from a zombie attack. I'm just starting a new level when Dakota comes in from the backyard with his friend Tanner. They had just gone swimming in their pool. I was going to join them but I went 'swimming' at home three days ago Zak sat outside while I floated around the shallow end in a unicorn pool float. He has a picture of me in my swim suit and sunglasses with sunscreen lathered on my face and neck. I wasn't going to risk having to be watched like a hawk by Dakota and his friend while I'm learning to swim. We leave for Zak's investigation in about a week, I'm nervous. Dakota will be coming with us for this one apparently. But since he's 18, he's going to work, not just because.

Tanner and Dakota joke around in the kitchen before turning their attention to me.

"Faith. You missed a great pool session, the water feels great and I totally beat Dakota in water basketball!" Tanner says

"Cool." I say flatly

I still haven't warmed up to Tanner too much. Nothing personal, he's just high energy and I get anxious when he's around. I never know what to talk about with him.

"Do you know how to swim? You should totally join us next time! I'll even invite my sister to play!" Dakota adds.

I focus on the game as they both plop themselves on the floor. They wreak of chlorine and sunscreen. I don't answer them.

"Faith?" Dakota asks

"Mhm?"

"Do you know how to swim?"

I look to Tanner, who's beside Dakota.

"No." I say looking back at the screen.

Dakota takes the controller from me and pauses the game.

"Hey!" I shout

"You seriously don't know how to swim?" He asks

"No, I don't! What does it matter?!" I say angrily

Why is he pressing the issue? It's frustrating me, but when his hazel eyes look at me pleadingly, I have to forgive him. I shouldn't forgive him. Everything about him draws me in, I want to kiss him. He is my boyfriend after all, I should be able to trust him with anything.

Except this.

I chew my lip. He can't know about this, he shouldn't have to know about this. No one except my therapist should know.

"Do you want to learn?" He asks softly

I roll my eyes.

"No." I grumble "Can I have the controller back?"

He hands it back to me after a minute and I go back to playing his game. Five minutes of blissful silence later, Tanner loudly announces he's going to take a shower and gets up. Dakota gets up and sits on the couch next to me.

"I know you sent him away." I say not taking my focus off the game

"I did no such thing." He retorts

"Whatever."

"Do you really not know how to swim?" he asks

"No I don't." I huff.

"Why haven't you learned?"

"Because I don't fucking feel like it." I snap

"Don't cuss at me." Dakota says in a stern voice

"Who are you to tell me what to do?"

It comes out harsher than I meant it. I briefly turn to look at him before going back to my game. I feel bad for starting a fight with him over learning how to swim, it's a dumb reason to fight.

"Where is this attitude coming from? I'm just trying to ask you a question and offer some help." Dakota says

"Maybe I don't want your fucking help!" I shout, tossing the controller onto the couch

The pause screen stares at me. I was in the middle of a level and he interrupted my focus. I don't want to talk about swimming anymore.

"I don't want to learn, I don't want to try, I like floating, and I don't want to change that!" I shout

"But why?!" He shouts back

I flinch at his voice. It's not fair of me to yell at him and get scared when he does the same thing. I feel guilty as soon as it happens, but it doesn't stop me from shouting at him again.

"Because I am sick of people thinking that I'm fucking helpless! It's too vulnerable of a situation to be in with someone I barely even know!" I yell throwing myself back into the cushion

"Faith..." Dakota starts

I don't give him the chance to finish.

"Anything could happen! No one can be certain that something couldn't go wrong! Too many risks and not enough rewards! I can't do it! So just fucking drop it!"

I'm breathing heavy. I can feel my heart rate rising. Whiskey comes trotting over and hops up onto my lap, pushing Dakota out of the way, and putting pressure on my chest. Dakota just stares at me. He tries reaching over but Whiskey lets out a growl from deep in her chest, warning him to back off. This fight has escalated far out of my control. I want to go home now.

"I want to go back to Zak's." I say

"Okay." Dakota says

Twenty minutes later, we're pulling up to Zak's house. I watch as the gates open and we pull into the driveway.

"Zak should be home in half an hour. You think you'll be okay by yourself?" Dakota asks

"I'll be fine." I say before getting out of the car and slamming the door behind Whiskey.

I stomp up to the front door and unlock it with the key that Zak gave me. I turn back to Dakota, who's still sitting in the driveway watching me through the windshield. I slam the front door behind me and go to my room upstairs. Gracie and Whiskey follow me up, excited to play with one another.

I hear Dakota's car pull out of the drive and the gates close behind them. Quickly, I change into a tight fitted long sleeve shirt meant for getting in the water, then I get some long shorts on. Before I know it, I'm outside standing on the edge of the pool looking down at the water. My reflection stares back at me, face hardened, eyes determined. My jaw tightens, fists clench, breath heavy.

I'm ready to get into the water.

One step.

Two steps.

Waist deep in the water. My hair blows in the wind behind me. I look down again. This time, instead of seeing my own face in the water I see a dark room and a familiar looking tub. I lean down and feel my head duck under the water to look closer, then I step out on the other side in the dark room.

It's cold in here. I'm shivering in my thin clothes meant for Vegas heat and sun. A man walks in. I can't see his face but I know it's a man by his size alone. He saunters towards me and I instinctively step back in fear. I look behind me to get back through the water and get back into reality. I'm met with a concrete wall.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no!" I scream pounding the wall with my hands

I can feel my palms bleeding and stinging, bloody handprints splattering the concrete. The man grabs me by the neck and a blood curdling scream comes from deep within my chest. He forces me to my knees and grips me by the hair.

"Stay fucking still." He growls as he drags me by the hair towards the tub.

It's full of water. I realize what's happening just before he shoves my head under. The cold metal bites into my skin as he holds me down under the freezing water. I struggle, flailing, splashing water all over the place as I attempt to escape. I'm pulled up just before I start inhaling water. Gasping, spluttering, and coughing, I beg for him to stop. He shoves my head under the water again. I scream, bubbles coming out around me. I accidentally inhale some and choke on my way up.

The man thankfully lets me cough out all the water before oh so nicely grabbing me by the throat and shoving me into the tub, holding my neck. I can't breathe. I fight back for as long as I possibly can, kicking, scratching, reaching for his eyes, anything to get him to let go. He pulls me back up and I cough again, trying to get air into my lungs. He doesn't even let me breathe properly before shoving me down again. The process repeats multiple times until the fight just leaves my body. I can feel myself go limp in the water, bubbles fading from my view. I'm half conscious when he pulls me up from the tub and tosses me onto the floor, face down. The water comes up from my lungs. I'm just strong enough to keep myself up on my elbows, trying to crawl away from him. He just kicks me in the stomach and leaves me there to rot. When I have enough strength to sit up, I find myself strapped to a table, head back, the same man standing over me. Another joins him and places a towel over my face. I scream and thrash around on the table. They dump cold water over my face, talking amongst themselves about how much fun they're having with me. Repeatedly pouring water over my face, making me choke, I feel like I'm drowning.

I'm suddenly aware of another presence. It's a male presence and he's... familiar? I trash around, fists clenching, ready to swing at these men. They grab my arms and struggle to hold me down as I writhe.

A male voice comes somewhere from far away. I can hear him faintly. I try to focus.

C'mon Faith! Wake up! Wake up!

Wake up, Faith!

"FAITH!"

My fist connects with his jaw before my brain can register who he is. His head swings to the left but his hold on me doesn't falter. I'm standing in the pool, still in my swimsuit, sunscreen on my face, hair in a ponytail. My breathing is heavy and I'm shaking.

"What the fuck?!"

Dakota looks at me, his face starting to swell where I've hit him.

"I.. I- I- I'm so sorry!" I stammer, finally getting a hold of my surroundings.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asks

I look at him for a moment before realizing that he's IN the pool with me, his sweatpants soaked, the bottom of his shirt following suit.

"You're getting wet! What- what are you doing here?" I ask grabbing him

Feeling his skin in my hands helps ground me a little more. I try to focus on anything else, the bottom of the pool on my feet, the way the water feels on my skin, Dakota's hands on my shoulders.

"Faith, are you okay?" Dakota asks

He looks around briefly and then slowly leads me out of the pool. I start shaking harder, like I'm in a freezer, or just had a panic attack.

"Talk to me, Faith." He asks as he leads me to the patio chairs

"I- I was... I was gonna learn how to swim." I say softly, remembering what I was originally out here to do

"By yourself? Why would you do something like that?" Dakota asks, crouching down in front of me

"I... I don't know. I just... figured I could do it by myself." I say

He sighs and finds a towel for me.

"Where are your towels? You need to dry yourself off." He says

"There's a couple inside the bar." I say pointing to the outdoor bar counter to our left.

He runs to get two towels and hands one to me. I use it to dry my legs and then to cover myself up.

"Faith, what happened in the pool?" He asks

"I just told you." I say

"No. You told me what you were going to do. When I came out here you were just... standing there, staring into the water. What was going on?" He asks

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. My bottom lip quivers. It's now or never.

"I-I'm scared of the water. I was just... looking at my reflection in the pool and then I saw this... this room. I know it from... from when I was missing. I... they... he tried to drown me. He held me under the water by my neck and didn't let me breathe. He had me tied to a table with a towel over my face and... and waterboarded me." I say, sobs wracking through my body.

I open my arms for a hug, which he accepts.

"I'm sorry. I should have just told you." I cry into his shoulder "I was worried that you would think it was dumb that I couldn't swim very good. I shouldn't have argued with you earlier and I shouldn't have hit you. I'm really sorry, Kota."

"Hey... hey... You're okay. It's okay, Faith. I shouldn't have pushed the subject. I understand your fear, it's shitty, absolutely terrible what you went through, but you have to try to remember that you have people you can talk to. I'm here to listen or give advice if you need it. I'm your boyfriend and I want you to feel safe around me, however long it takes. Fights happen, it's nothing to stress about, I know we can always work things out. I'm here for you." He says giving me a light squeeze.

I nod and just hold him for a little longer before pulling away. A full hug is not something I've given a lot of people. Only Zak and Kade. Not even Jay, despite being very close to him, gets that luxury. It took me a while to even let Dakota hold my hand after we started dating. He wasn't allowed to even touch me more then necessary when I was first found and traveling with them.

"Are you okay?" I ask Dakota

"I'm fine. My face will be a little sore for a bit, but I'll be fine." He says

I gently cup his face and turn it to the side. A large red mark in the shape of my fist is outlined in red on his jaw. It's already started to welt and bruise in some parts. I run my thumb over it and then apologize again.

"I want to go inside." I say

We head inside to shower, separately of course, and sit on the couch in the living room to watch TV. I'd given Dakota a pack of ice for his face. I end up falling asleep on the couch, exhausted from the days events.

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 26: Mothers and Brothers

After Zak heard that he dated my mom, he got really quiet. I thought he fell asleep at first but he was still awake when I turned to look at him. I had told him how I had recognized her from the pictures he showed me and that he doesn't have to explain anything right away but I thought he should know.

He didn't say anything to me that night, so I slept pretty okay. Then I woke up without a blanket and I was not okay anymore. I have to wrestle the duvet off of Zak to regain some sort of warmth. I sleep for another hour while Zak gets up, grumbling that there is no respect in this room. When I finally wake up, it's because my phone is ringing. There's an unknown number on the screen so I let it go straight to voicemail and don't bother checking it either. It rings again but I still don't answer it, letting it go to voicemail again.

I roll out of the bed and look for Zak in the room. The door is propped open and there are hushed voices in the living room. I head to the door and listen intently. I can't make out anything over the other whispering. They must be listening to the radio or watching something on TV. Everything comes into a sharp focus when all the whispering stops, meaning they must have turned all the background noise off.

"She told me she dated her mom!" Zaks voice is obvious

"and now what? You think that she's yours?" Nancy's voice says

"I don't know what to think. I know for sure that I dated her mom, I know she had a little boy and she was.."

Their voices go out of focus and the whispers come back. Maybe they turned the TV/ radio back on. I focus again as I try to listen in. Instead I just strain myself. Whiskey nudges my leg with her nose and I pat her head. We walk out to the living room, interrupting Zak and his mom's conversations.

"Good morning, Faith! Did you sleep alright?" Nancy asks standing and reaching out for me.

I take a step back instinctively. She backs away and sits back down.

"Zak. Can we talk about what I said last night?" I ask

"Sure kiddo. Go brush your teeth and let Whiskey out to the yard and we will make you something to eat." Zak says getting up

I nod and let Whiskey out to the backyard so she can do her business. Once she's done I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Whiskey whines and whines to be let into the bathroom. I have to keep her out or she will try to drink the toilet water or eat the hand soap. She's smart, but not the brightest when it comes to consumables.

After my teeth are cleaned, I go sit at the kitchen table with Zak and Nancy. They have some eggs and bacon on a plate with some mini pancakes on the side. As I eat, Zak kind dances around the subject of my mother.

"Oh for goodness sake, Zachary. Faith, honey, tell us how you know he dated your mom." Nancy says

"I saw her picture in the photo album. It was at a business gala type thing they held every year. Zak was in most of those pictures and my dad wasn't." I say

"And your sure it's her? Not someone who looks like her?" Zak asks

I nod.

"Can you go grab the album and show us which girl it was?" Nancy asks

I shake my head.

"I don't want to go into that room, I'm sorry." I say

"Zak. Go grab the album for her." Nancy says

I finish eating just as Zak comes back into the kitchen. He's got the book open to the page with my mom and him.

"That's her." I say looking at the picture

"You're positive?" Zak asks

"She and I have the same hair. We have different color eyes, but our hair was the same texture and color. She also has freckles. I only have a couple but she had a lot on her cheeks and nose." I say flipping to the next page where there was a photo of my mom's face next to Zak, who's kissing her cheek.

Zak looks horror struck.

"I see it." He says

"I read about her death on the news. They only had a picture of her with her husband and they used her full name, not her nickname. Nothing was ever said about it after. I assumed her PR team paid people to keep quiet about it." Zak says "I didn't even go to her funeral..."

"I... I don't think she blames you." I say not sure what to say.

I was in the hospital for her funeral and my family refused to tell me where she was buried.

Zak sighs and looks up at me.

"I was with your mom for a couple years. I knew a lot about her, ask me anything about her and I'll answer honestly." He says "I want you to feel like you can come to me with anything and honesty is the best way to do that." He says

I consider for a moment.

"Did you know she was married?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you date her?"

"Your parents were going through a rough patch. They opened up both sides of the marriage and separated for a short while. That's what your mom told me."

"Did you know she was pregnant with me during the time of that event you both went to?"

"I didn't."

"Did you know about my brother?"

"I did."

"How long were you guys dating?"

"About two years. I met her a year before those pictures were taken."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"We... well I didn't break up with her. After that event... she left. She just took all her things one night and left a note. It said she was getting back together with her husband and that she loved our time together and she will forever be grateful for the time we spent, but it wasn't meant to be forever. She was grateful for all the opportunities we shared and she..."

He hesitates

"And that she loved me but it was time to go. I never saw her again."

I stare at the table for what seems like hours before speaking.

"What was she like?" I ask

"She was great. She was an amazing, hardworking, and independent woman. She didn't take any kind of bullshit from anyone, she was firm in her boundaries and she was very, very smart. She would set her mind to the things she wanted to do and get them done. She was also kind and caring and very generous. I knew she was rich but she gave a portion of any money she made to charities and kept the rest in a college fund for your brother. I don't't know if she did the same for you." He says

"Was.... Was she fun to be around?"

"She was."

"She smiled a lot with you."

"She did. We were very happy."

I slouch further into my seat.

"I wish I could remember her..." I whisper.

Zak gets up and comes to sit in the chair next to me, strong arms wrapping me into a gentle hug. Reassuring me that she would be so proud of the woman I've become and how strong I am for going through all this alone and still being here to tell the story. I just shrink into his hug, but I can feel myself retreating back into my own mind. All the what ifs swirling around, overlapping each other, making my head hurt. I squeeze my eyes shut and start to cry.

"I don't... I don't remember her. She was this great woman and I don't even remember her! She... she wasn't cheating on my dad, but I don't know if that makes things any better. I was literally in her stomach during the time those pictures were taken and did any of you know about it? Did you even care?!" I ask

"I have all of these questions and no answers and I'm confused and scared and no one can answer them for me because they're dead!"

I sob into Zak's shoulder as he just listens to me bitch and moan about my dead parents. I feel self centered thinking about how I'm crying about my dead family to my new, very much alive family. Zak doesn't say anything though and he just comforts me instead. Nancy is standing on the other side of the table, just watching with a sad expression on her face.

"I want to go back to sleep." I say once I'm done crying

I wipe the snot from my nose and sniff.

"Why don't we just go home? We're supposed to be on the plane tonight anyways." Zak asks "and when we get there, I'll set you up with a therapist who can help you work through your feelings. Does that sound like a plan?"

I nod and Zak lets me go.

"Go grab your things from my room. I'll grab everything from yours and then we will go." Zak says

We get up and start packing up. I hear Nancy telling Zak that it's okay that we have to leave early and not to feel bad. I can hear her telling him that she'll be over in a couple weeks for a vacation. It all feels very rushed in my opinion but by the time I actually take the time to think about it, I'm already on a plane back to Vegas.

~~~~~~~~~

The first thing I do when we get back home is call Jay, asking if he's going to be in town anytime soon so I can see him. Jay is easily one of my best friends and I would do anything for him. He said he would catch the first plane out next week since he's going to be back on the road with the guys again.

The next thing I do is take Whiskey outside and sit in the shaded patio while she swims in the pool with Gracie. The girls play a very interesting game of what I called 'get the rope'. Basically, there is a rope toy in the middle of them and they have to play fight each other to get the rope, whoever keeps it the longest wins. The game ends with them both in the shallow side of the pool with the rope toy stuck between both sets of teeth. I end up having to get out of my chair to yank the toy out of their mouths and toss another one into the mix. I had a feeling that if I didn't intervene, they would get into a fight over it.

Once I get back inside with both the dogs, I go to my room and lay down on my bed, curled under the blankets waiting for something, anything to happen. Whiskey sneezes, but that's about it. I end up just closing my eyes and going to sleep.

(In her dream)

I find myself standing in a meadow.

Tall grass brushes against itself and large, almost fluffy trees surround the meadow at the far edges. Everything has a slight yellow tint to it. Like the sun is setting in this area of the world.

I look around for a few moments, wondering what this place is. The tall grass whooshes as the wind blows, the bright flowers bend in the breeze, the birds in the forest chirp and chitter, a few of them actually fly away. I watch as they fly right into the sunlight, which is warm on my skin.

I look down, taking in my clothes. I'm wearing a flowing white linen dress with cuffed sleeves and a cinched waist. It's not something that I would usually wear, then again I don't really have a set sense of style. Despite that, I feel..... comfortable wearing this dress. I also notice that I'm barefoot. The short grass feels soft on my feet while the taller stuff feels a little itchy. The wind blows again and forces me to turn around again.

When the wind stops and I pull a lock of hair out of my face, I spot a woman further into the meadow. She's also wearing a white dress and from a distance, it looks like mine. There's something vaguely familiar about her. I move closer.

'Hello?" I call to her

'Hey, I think I'm lost! Can you help me?!'

She doesn't answer. Like she can't hear me. I quicken my pace as the wind picks up again, the tall grass whooshing and making a peaceful sound. I finally get within an acceptable distance

'Hello?! Can you hear me?!' I call

She turns to me and I almost stumble over my feet.

My mother. She's right there! She's wearing the exact same thing I am, her dark hair flowing in the wind, her ocean blue eyes gazing in my direction, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. She reaches for me and speaks softly, yet I hear her as if she were saying it in my ear.

'I found you!' She teases, finally smiling at me

Her crows feet appear around her eyes, a large smile on her face

'Mama!' I call, breaking into a run to be close to her

She wraps me in a hug when I reach her. She feels warm and loving, just like I remember her being. She pats my head, stroking my hair, whispering into my ear about how much she missed me.

'Mama, why did you dat Zak while married to dad?' I ask after a few minutes

She smiles sadly at me

'Why don't we sit down and talk. Like we used to when you were little.' She says     I nod and she leads me away, the grass gets shorter and then we're on the edge of a lake. There's a blanket laid out in a flattened grass area and a couple pillows. We settle in and I lay my head on my mother's lap.

'Your father and I... we didn't have the best marriage during the time I was with Zak. We had agreed to separate for a little while and figure out what we wanted out of life. We both dated other people. You weren't born yet and your brother was very little, but we had been separated for a year before I met Zak. Your father and I were both very understanding of the other's decision to have a long term partner while still being married. Your father was with the same woman for three years, and he stayed with her even after our separation ended and we got back together, which is around the time I found out I was pregnant with you.' She explains

'Does that mean I could have other siblings from father?' I ask

'Sarah never wanted kids. She was perfectly fine doting on you two but insisted that she never be called your step mother or anything.'

'Tell me about Zak. What was he like all those years ago?'

'When we met he was a DJ for one of our parties we held. Right before the separation. He was a fascinating young man, interested in all things paranormal. He would play me music and take me out on the most amazing dates. Of course they were nothing like the dates your father took me on. Going to some run- down, dingy, haunted house and a small town diner was infinitely more fun than some boring, expensive, lavish restaurant and a play. Zak and I went on many adventures and took many, many pictures to remember them by! He was kind, thoughtful, caring, and most importantly... he wanted to make me happy. Although he never specified whether or not he wanted kids, he was just great with your brother and he even got an invitation to your first birthday party. I don't think he ever showed up though. I tried to keep contact with him after we broke up and I got back with your father but he must not have liked that.'

'What did you like about him?' I ask, genuinely curious

'... Everything. He was everything your father wasn't. Your father and I knew each other since birth. We were both very wealthy and had everything we ever needed. We worked very hard for it, don't get me wrong, but there was just no joy in living a life where everything I needed or wanted magically appeared the next day. Zak and I... We met naturally. It was easy being with him, he's funny. Knows how to make you laugh. And he didn't come from money like your father and I. He made do with what he had and he never asked for help. He worked hard to make a name for himself and he probably will for the rest of his life. While he couldn't afford the glitz and glam, he made every date special by bringing something he made or found in a thrift shop. Once, he made me an entire set of jewelry using spoons and forks! It was magnificent! My most treasured set of jewelry that I only wore on special occasions. I left it for you in my will. the whole estate was divided evenly into threes. One for you, one for Kade, and one for the charity your father and I set up for our company. That one helps other charities, mostly animal shelters and hospitals but on occasion, they help out our employees. I even left a little separate thing for Zak, but he was never called to the will reading. I suspect your father had something to do with it.'

She babbles on about other family issues, but I just listen to her talk. Taking in all the information I can. The sun begins to set on the horizon and then my mother stands, leaving me on the blanket alone.

'All your life you have been told stories of the paranormal. You managed to tap into the other side and connect with spirits. I made sure of it when you were born. It was the one thing I needed to do.'

I stand up to look at her, confused at the change of topic. She looks so serious in the fading light.

'What?' I ask

'You were born to do great things. You can help people. You can help Zak move on. You need to learn to use your abilities and help him. Your brother. He's coming. Talk to him. And... and tell Zak that I'm sorry for everything. If I had a choice, it would have been him over and over again. One thousand times... yes. And when your ready, go to the house in Oregon, call the number on the fridge, it should still be there, and tell the lawyer that you are ready to receive the contents of the will.' She says

She seems frantic as the sun sets. She keeps looking over the horizon and then back at me. Her brows furrow in worry and then she cups my face with both her hands.

'You look just like him. Just like-'

I wake up in a cold sweat. It's light out. The time on the clock says 9:30AM. I toss the blankets off and rush to get into the shower, wanting to get changed and ready for the day. Within ten minutes, I'm showered, dressed, and pulling my hair into a braid. I look at myself in the mirror, I look like my mother, but not really my father. Not that I remember what he looks like.

I run around down the hall, into the foyer, feeling like I need to be by the door, like I'm late for something. I get impatient, pacing as best I can in front of the door. Zak asks me several times if I'm okay and why I'm pacing in front of the door. He even tries to grab me but I yell at him to just let me pace. I feel bad but when the doorbell rings I'm the first to open it. I nearly punch him as he stands outside the door with Jay, who looks equally confused as I do. I have to physically hold myself back from screaming at the sky and punching the walls in annoyance. He just stares at me while I go through the five stages of grief in forty five seconds. Jay walks into the house, pulling me with him, so I don't scream at the man in front of the door. I want to cry and I want to yell and I want to curse my mother for not telling me this would be my brother.

Kade just stands there, waiting to be let in. He looks like he's not slept in days and much older than he actually is. He also looks sad. Very, very sad. I shove Jay off me and stomp up to him. I huff and puff for a few moments, taking him in. He's a smelly boy, sure, but he's also my brother. He's got a five o clock shadow growing and his hair hasn't been cut in a while it looks like. His clothes are wrinkled and he's got a stain down the front and sides of his shirt. He opens his mouth to speak but I've already made up my mind about him.

"Faith, I-"

I wrap him in a hug. I let go of all the emotions that kept me from ever interacting with him in the foster home and just squeeze him into a hug. All the years apart all the years he must have been searching. Did he remember me? Did he miss me? Did he even want to find me? I wish I could remember him, or any kind of memory involving him, something it bring me closer to him other than the times in the home.

He reluctantly hugs me back, trying to tell me something.

"Faith, I'm your-"

"I know. You're my brother, I know."

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 25: Secrets Spilled

*Four days later* My week in Michigan so far has been so fun! We've been out for walks with Whiskey, and I met a couple of other older family members. Zak and I went antique shopping, and he bought some stuff for my new bedroom since my current one is looking a little barren. He gave me an office to do my homework, but I moved the desk from the office into my bedroom upstairs and pushed it into a corner by the bay window, facing the door.

Today we're meeting with his brother and sister. We're currently sitting outside on the cafe patio waiting for them to arrive. I play a meek game of Tug of War with Whiskey and her crinkle rabbit. She's having fun but also trying to be aware of her surroundings. Just then, two people walk up and wave at us.

"There they are!" Nancy says standing and waving the other two over

There is a man and a woman. They both look like a mix of Zak and Nancy. The woman looks more like Nancy, while the name has Zaks's facial features on a softer level, nothing about him was sharp like Zak.

Zak stands up and hugs them both, as does Nancy and for a moment, I am left sitting alone at a table in an unfamiliar cafe in an unfamiliar state, surrounded by people I don't know. I grab hold of Zak's sweater sleeve when he comes to sit back down.

"It's okay. I'm right here." He whispers to me, sensing my unease.

I nod and he starts introducing the new people in our group.

"This is Merideth and Phil, my brother and sister." He says "Guys, this is Faith. She's my daughter."

I wave to them and give a soft 'hi' in response.

"I'm so happy for you, Zak. You look so happy with her in your life now and she looks like a joy to be around." Merideth says

"Congrats," Phil says slapping Zak on the back

We talk for a little while and as time passes I feel more comfortable with talking to them about the things I like. Meredith asks if I have any hobbies and I tell her I like photography, but I only really enjoy film photography. Digital is a little too much instant gratification.

Phil asks how I like the Las Vegas weather and I tell him that I'm slowly getting used to it. Nancy asks how I'm feeling on this trip and If I'm enjoying my stay and I tell her that I'm having the time of my life. I don't ever want this feeling of happiness to end. I pet Whiskey on the head, enjoying the moment that I'm spending with my new family. Meredith tells me about her kids, they're both significantly younger than I am, but she would still like me to meet them during the holidays. We sit for a couple more minutes before getting up and starting to walk around the little town we're in.

Nancy and Meredith talk to me about Zak's childhood, how he was as a child, all that jazz. Zak must have been popular in town because a lot of people stop to ask him for pictures. I don't really pay any attention to that and keep talking to Nancy and Meredith. After a couple of hours, we're back at Nancy's house and I'm going through the bag of clothes that Meredith bought for me at a little shop. Nancy also went through Zak's closet and pulled a few items she thinks will fit not only me but my style too. Apparently I have a certain way of dressing, which I've never noticed before. I do a little fashion show, changing into clothes and different outfits for everyone. Nancy takes pictures on an old camera while Zak takes pictures on his phone. i make silly poses, silly faces, and at one point I send whiskey out dressed in one of Zak's old shirts and a pair of jeans I had tried on earlier. She looked ridiculous but super cute, so I made Zak take a picture on my phone for me.

I come back out wearing one of Zak's flannel shirts, an old hat, and sunglasses. I pose in a way I think only he would pose and make a kissy face.

"Oh my god, she looks just like you!" Meredith laughs as I switch to a flexing pose

"She really does!" Nancy says

"I don't see it." Zak says

"I do." Says his brother.

I just laugh and take off the hat and sunglasses.

"This was fun. I think I'm going to change into my pajamas though. I'll be right back." I say going back towards the room

I change into a sweater and sweatpants. Something comfortable for sleep and undress Whiskey, who is still wearing her service dog vest. She shakes and lets out a big sigh, trotting back out to the living room. We spend a couple more hours with Zack and his family, before they all end up getting ready for bed, opting to just stay the night instead of making the drive back o their homes. A feeling of dread washes over me as the realization that there will be another man in the house with Zak and I. Whiskey hops up on top of my chest and I wheeze, pushing her off me.

"Well. I'm going to bed. Goodnight, I had a great time with you all today." I say getting up and hurrying off to my temporary room.

When I get into the room, I lock the door and get under the covers with Whiskey.

Several hours later, I'm awoken to the sound of the door handle wiggling. There's a soft click and it swings open slowly. Whiskeys ears perk up and then pin back. A low grumble escapes her chest. I look towards the open door, not moving. The shadow at the door looks eerily familiar. My blood runs cold remembering how I would look up from my cell and see this exact figure, or at least something to it, and being scared. Knowing exactly what's about to happen. Whiskey gets up and growls louder.

I still don't move. Paralyzed by fear, thinking this is going to be the end of me. The figure takes a step into the room and Whiskey snarls. Her hackles raised as she stalks closer to the end of the bed. I know her trigger word. She won't move until I tell her to or unless I am in immediate danger. The figure steps closer, I have no time to make a decision, and in a split second I shout Whiskey's trigger word. She snarls again, lunging for the figure who tries to fight her off as I toss the covers and barrel into the hallway, pounding on Zak's door. I hear a man grunting in pain as Whiskey barks in the room behind me. She comes running out and turns facing the door as Zak comes out, hearing the commotion.

"What's going on?" I hear Nancy ask

"Dunno. Faith?" Zak asks

I point to the room across the hall and back up, grabbing Whiskey's collar and pulling her back, still snarling and snapping. I make a move to hide behind Zak.

"I can't see anything." Zak says

A low groan comes from the room, setting Whiskey off again. I tell her to calm down and she stops barking but is still growling, ears forward, listening intently. Zak heads into the room and I back up into his. He flips on the light and curses loudly.

"Faith! Get in my room and lock the door. Mom! Come here!" Zak says

I waste no time in closing the bedroom door, locking it and getting into the bed. I'm restlessly sleeping as I hear loud voices coming from the hallway. Meredith is very, VERY angry at whatever is happening. Finally, a door slams and Zak knocks on the one to the room I'm in. I make my way out of bed and unlock the door. Whiskey still on guard, even though I gave the 'heel' command.

"Hey kiddo. You okay?" Zak asks coming into the room.

I shrug and trudge back over to the bed, crawling back under the covers to try and get some sleep. I just want to forget that this all happened. I don't even what to know who was at the door earlier, if they're okay, or not. I'm just tired and scared and cold.

"It was Meredith's boyfriend." Zak says

I look over to him from under the big duvet cover. I don't remember asking him for that information.

"I know you didn't ask. Phil invited him in after he told him that Meredith asked him to come over and drop something off. He waited until Phil was in the bathroom to open your door." Zak says "Whiskey got him pretty good. One of my police friends is taking him to the hospital right now and after that, he's going to jail for basically breaking and entering."

I just nod and roll over.

"Scoot, I want some blanket." Zak says tapping my foot.

I scoot over a little bit and let him take the left side of the bed. We lay in silence with only Whiskey's collar making the occasional noise.

"Zak."

"Faith."

"I've gotta tell you something." We both say at the same time

"You first." I say

"I travel to haunted locations for work and film them." He says

"Like Ghost Adventures?" I ask "I've never seen it, Melissa watches it all the time though."

"That's my TV show." He says

"Oh... well, that's cool." I say

"What did you wanna tell me?" He asks

"You dated my mom."

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 24: Zak's Family and Keeping Secrets

*Two days later* Zak and I finally get off the plane and into a cab. We landed in Michigan. I've never been to Michigan before. It's still cold and rainy here, much colder than Vegas. I brought plenty of layers to wear in my suitcase, thankfully. Zak even brought Whiskey some snow shoes with grips on the bottoms, as well as a long pajama and a big dog jacket. I tried talking him out of the doggie goggles, but when I see the rain I immediately think he was onto something.

Whiskey looks silly sitting in the back of the cab with me, doggie goggles on, tongue out, in her jacket and pajamas. I snap a couple pictures of her. Zak texts furiously on his phone in the front seat.

"Are you okay? I ask from behind him

"Yeah, kiddo. I'm sorry, my mom is texting me about my sister's boyfriend being at the house right now. I specifically asked my sister not to bring him but he showed up anyways." He says putting his phone away

He turns to look at me.

"You're gonna love them kiddo. They're really cool." He says smiling

"I hope so." I say "Can I take pictures and videos? Like to document my first trip?"

"Of course! I can even help you edit them to make a memorable video for later. Or if you wanted to post it on YouTube or Instagram, you can." He says

I smile and nod. Just then, we pull into a beautiful street. Tall trees, big houses, sidewalks. No large gates in front of them. It looks like a normal neighborhood, nothing like Zak's or even Dakota's. I roll down the window and start recording a video of the neighborhood. The trees pass us by in a flash. I turn around to film behind us, but my hair whips across my face, covering the camera. I curse and try to fix it. Once I get back to facing forward, Whiskey blocks the camera screen and I laugh, petting her head. I get back into the car and film Zak as he scrolls through social media. Once I decide to stop filming, I check my apps for anything fun to look at. I check the App Store and look through the games they have for free since I don't have any kind of game on my phone. I download one and play it for the remainder of the ride to Zaks family's house. I have a lot of fun on the game, actually. It's called 'Plants Vs Zombies' and I get pretty good at it in the short amount of time that I start playing it.

The taxi finally pulls up in front of a house and parks.

"We're here!" Zak says happily.

I look out the window and take a quick picture of the house before tucking my phone away. Zak gets out of the taxi as a woman comes hurrying out of the house. I stay in the taxi, fingers ready to pull the door handle, held back by fear. The woman shares a resemblance with Zak, but it's quickly hidden by his shoulder as they hug. I take a deep breath as Whiskey bumps my face with her nose and I open up the door. I take a step out into the colder Michigan air and help Whiskey out of the taxi.

"Mom, this is Faith. She's my new daughter." Zak says holding his arm out towards me.

I walk up and he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

"Hi, nice to meet you." I say

"Hi, honey! I'm Nancy, Zak's mother. How are you doing? How was the trip here?" She asks holding out her hand

I look at it, eyes widening a little big.

"Sorry." I start, looking up at her "I'm not too big on physical contact at the moment."

"Oh, my apologies, honey. Well, come on into the house, I'll show you around while Zak gets your bags!" She says motioning me to follow her.

I look up at Zak and he nods, giving my shoulders a reassuring squeeze before letting me go and running to get our suitcases. I follow Nancy up the walkway and into the house. I think I expected a clean house with modern furniture and a sleek look to it, but the interior is the complete opposite. It's.... Warm and cozy.

"You have a lot of browns in here." I say when Nancy leads me into the living room.

"What?" She asks raising an eyebrow

"It's homey. I like it. Zak's house is black and white. I like the browns you have." I say trying to fix my statement

"Oh!" Nancy laughs, a big belly laugh "Yes, well. That's Zak for you. He loves his modern designs. Everything has to match his aesthetic. Probably why he moved out for university. I'm glad you like the house my dear."

She smiles at me and I smile back. Then she takes me on a ten minute tour of her house, showing me where Zak and I would be staying. We have separate rooms right across the hall from each other. I would be staying in Zak's childhood bedroom, but Nancy wouldn't show it to me until later. She does show me the other guest room where Zak would be staying. She showed me the bathroom, which was at the very end of the hallway, and finally the kitchen. She even point to the back door and shows me the backyard. She has a beautiful garden just outside of the wooden patio.

We make our way to the living room and I take note of all the little angels and cherub statues on the furniture and shelves. She has pictures of other family members all over the walls. I spot a picture with a familiar looking boy.

"Is this Zak?" I ask pointing to the picture next to the couch

"Oh yes! That's just outside the house during the Christmas holiday. He went sledding down the driveway. It's one of my favorites." Nancy says "Would you like to look at some more photos?"

I nod and she motions me to sit down. I sit on the fluffy brownish red couch and have Whiskey lay at my feet. She's not on duty since we're just hanging out right now, but she likes to work and I don't mind letting her do her thing while hanging out. Nancy comes to sit next to me with a stack of large photo albums in her hands. She sets them on the coffee table and we start flipping through the first one. It's mostly just Zak's baby pictures, but he gets older as the pages turn.

Zak gets in just then with three suitcases.

"He wouldn't stop talking! He was going on and on about his life and how he and his wife love the show and he was trying to invite me out to dinner and I finally had to tell him to please leave." Zak says putting both suitcases on the floor by the front door.

He looks at us on the couch, looking at his baby pictures. He rolls his eyes and sits on the other side of his mom, grabbing another book.

"This one is from when I was a little older. Definitely funnier if you ask me." He says opening it

Inside are hundreds of pictures of Zak as a young boy, teenager, and young adult. He shows me a variety of different life events he attended.

"This is my first appearance at a gala and my girlfriend at the time. We called her Stacie. Her real name was Anastasia, but no one could say that. She was fun to be around, but after we broke up she kind of disappeared. I haven't heard from her since." Zak says running his finger over the picture.

The woman looks eerily familiar. I study the picture as best I can without being too suspicious about it.

"Here's my most recent ex-girlfriend! Mom why do you still have this!" Zak asks as he turns the page

I study the blonde in the picture. She is definitely... interesting.

"I don't like her." I say "She looks mean."

"She was! Just terrible!" Nancy says chuckling "I think Zak looks very nice but I don't want to ruin the photo by tearing or cutting it."

"Just get rid of the whole thing mom." He says flipping the page.

We look through the pictures some more before I reach over for the next book. It's a bunch of holiday photos and events with more people. I flip through the pages, feeling all the joy felt in the photos.

"You guys are happy." I say looking at them "Like, I can feel the joy. It's pure and not strained. I barely remember what it was like to have that."

"You don't have to worry about not remembering. We will show it to you again and you can learn." Nancy says tentatively placing her hand on my shoulder.

I smile at them. I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. We sit on the couch talking and getting to know each other some more before Zak tells me that he's going to get some sleep before dinner. Nancy shows me to the room I'll be staying in and says that I am more than welcome to take a look at anything in the room I'm in. She even hands me the photo album I was looking at since we didn't finish looking at Zak's younger years.

"Feel free to take the pictures out and look at the backs of them. Most of them have stuff written on the back and a list of who's in the picture." Nancy says as she walks me into the room

I nod and quietly thank her. She moves to close the door but I stop her.

"Is Whiskey allowed on the bed?" I ask

"Whiskey? Um..." She looks concerned

"My dog." I clarify

"Oh! Of course she is! I'm so sorry!" She says

"It's okay." I say

She closes the door for real this time and I sit down on the bed for a minute, looking at all the posters on the walls. All the little knickknacks and trophies on the shelves. All the little pictures and memories of a childhood I wouldn't relate to. My phone buzzes as I'm looking through the pictures. I ignore it as I look at Zak's first gala picture. He doesn't look like he does now, much younger and definitely not dressed like he normally is. I study the name tag and it says 'DJ'. I chuckle. Who would have thought Zak was a DJ. I finally take a look at his date. I'm horrified to see her face looking right back up at me.

Those blue eyes.

The black hair.

The soft arched eyebrows.

The splatter of freckles on her cheeks.

It's my mother.

Keeping Secrets

I stare in horror at the photo in the book I'm holding. My mother's eyes stare back at me from the page. In my rush to remove the photo from the sleeve, I nearly tear it. Frantically, I flip to the next page and find more photos of my mother with Zak during the night at the gala. They look happy, holding each other in hugs, holding the others hands, even kissing in some photos.

I look down at the one in my hand. The last remaining photographs of my mother that I know of, that I have.

Do I steal them? Do I leave them in the book? Do I bring this up to Zak? I knew my parents attended galas and fancy events like that over the years, but this... this looks older than that. The date on this is months before I was born. I flip the page again and shove the book to the ground with a dull thud.

This can't be happening. This can't be happening!

I scramble to the floor and flip the book over, breathing hard as I try not to start sobbing. The picture, which is in a mirror with the little digital camera, is my mother and Zak. There is a baby boy in her arms, sleeping. I tug this one out of the sleeve as well and check the back.

'Zak & Stacie + Kade Wilshire. June 1997'

No. No. No. no.

This can't be the same Kade. I try to look at the sleeping boy to find any resemblance of the Kade I know from the foster home. I can't find anything except for the mess of brown hair on the top of the babies head. I feel hot tears fall down my cheeks before I register that I'm crying. I clutch the photos to my chest and sob quietly. My mother had two children. She had Kade and she had me. I slide the first picture of my mother and Zak back into the sleeve before slamming the book shut and staring at the photo of my mom, Zak, and my older brother. I can't let anyone know about this. Not Zak, not Matt, not Dakota, no one!

My phone buzzes again. I grab the book and place it on the nightstand before grabbing the phone off the bedsheet where Whiskey is sleeping. It's a text from Jay. He's asked me if I'm okay and to please call him when I have a minute as it's urgent. I sigh and text back slowly.

'I'm ok. Calling now.'

I press send, wipe my tears and my nose, and dial Jay's number.

"Faith? How are you? Is everything okay?" Jay asks sounding genuinely worried.

"I'm fine, Jay. Just hanging out in Zak's childhood bedroom with Whiskey." I say quietly.

"Something's wrong, tell me what it is kiddo." Jay says in that oh so comforting tone.

"I just found something out. Something big, Jay. I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and I just... I don't know." I say flopping back onto the bed

"I'm here to listen. You wanna tell me what you found out? I can promise not to tell as long as it's not bad." Jay says

I sigh and roll onto my side to pet Whiskey's back and ears.

"I just found out that Zak dated my mom before I was born and..." I trail not knowing how to say the next words

"And?"

"I have a brother." I say

"Oh... oh. Faith I don't know what to say. This is really big news! Do you feel excited? Are you happy? Sad?"

"I'm terrified." I say honestly "I'm crying and I'm scared. He dated my mom before I was born which I should be fine with but my mom must have been pregnant with me during that time and what about my dad?! Did he know that my mom was seeing Zak? Did he know that Zak was meeting her son? Did Zak even know she was married? I have all these questions and no one to answer them because both of them are dead now and I don't know my brother! At least I don't think I do. I might have met him at the foster home..."

I chew my finger nail and Whiskey paws at my hand until I stop and take a deep breath.

"Why don't you just ask Zak? I think it would help you out a lot. As for your brother... If you know him, you should reach out to him. But don't feel pressured to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Take the time you need to process this and then face it head on with confidence."Jay says

His words sound so reassuring that I have to believe him. Jay knows what to do in this difficult situation and he knows how to help. I take a deep breath and agree.

"Okay. You're right. I'm gonna take some time to think and I'm gonna come back to it later with a clear head. Thank you, Jay." I say into the phone.

"Any time Faith. I'm always here for you." He says

We hang up and I sit back up on the bed. I get up and open the bedroom door and make my way across the hall to Zak's room. I knock twice but he doesn't answer. I press my ear up to the door and hear snoring.

"Did you need something?" Nancy asks from the end of the hall.

I jump and nod.

"Do you have a notebook that I can use?" I ask

"There should be one in Zak's old room on the desk. You are more than welcome to use it." She says with a small smile

"Thank you." I say walking back into the bedroom and shutting the door.

The notebook is where she told me it would be. I pull the chair back and plant myself firmly into the seat. There is a cup full of pencils next to a picture of a group of boys with a young Zak in the middle. I pull a mechanical pencil out of the cup, click it a couple times and flip open the notebook. It's empty aside from a couple scribbles that Zak has drawn in the margins. Scary looking eyes, crosses, stars and even clouds with tiny little raindrops falling from them. I flip the first page onto the desk so my handwriting is dark and legible. I start to write.

'April 12, 2016. Michigan. I found out something horrible today. I found out that my mother and my father had a son before I was born and that son was in the foster care system with me. In the same house. He would pick on me and my friends and he was harsh to everyone around him. i found this out because I was looking through old photo albums with Zak and his mom and I saw a photo of her standing with him. I had to get a closer look so I needed to ask if I could take the album to the bedroom I'm staying in. When I looked further into the pages they skipped over, I found a picture of my mother, Zak, and my older brother as a baby boy. I am horrified but I talked to Jay about it and he talked me through what I should do. My emotions are still so high and I feel like I'm being tossed around in a roller coaster. I don't know what to do about this right now but once I'm not all over the place I will talk to Zak and ask him more about his relationship with my mother and if he knew that she as married at the time of heir relationship. If he knew about my mother's pregnancy with me. Was she even pregnant at the time of them dating? This leaves me with so many questions. I have none of my real family to ask since they're all dead and I can't ask Zak since he probably wouldn't know anything either. This is all too hard. Maybe I should write down what I want to ask him so when I'm ready, i feel more confident.

Faith'

I set the pencil down and look at the filled page. I feel tired all of the sudden, like the jet lag finally caught up to me and I need to sleep this very moment or I will actually collapse in my seat... Okay maybe not like that. But I close the notebook, put the pencil back in the cup and push in the chair before taking off my bra and flinging it towards the closet. Then I turn off the bedroom light. I untuck the blankets, crawl in, cover myself up and turn off the lamp on the bedside table that Nancy turned on for me and go to sleep.

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 23: School Days and Spring Break

Previously 'Learning about Social Media/ Investigations' We're staying true to the original book, but I'm adding the time skip a little earlier since this book might be longer than the OG

Six Months Later I sit in class, idly twisting my pencil between my fingers. Whiskey whines underneath me again. We're in Chemistry class with Matt, so we sit by the door so we can stay safely away from the splash zone of any harmful chemicals someone like David may spill. In the six months I've been at this school, I've come to learn who's who, which teachers are cool, which aren't, and the best places to sit at lunch. My personal favorite was the library for the first month. It took a lot of convincing and luring from Matt to get me out of the library. We sit in a warm shady spot at one of the benches in the outdoor lunch area now.

On the days it gets too hot, we all sit in the library or cafeteria. Matt's friends really made me feel welcome, too. They were all super nice to me even when I didn't talk to them at all for the first month. The truth is, I just didn't know them or trust them, which I told them when I finally started talking to them more. In better news, they accepted that and were cool about it. They even taught me how to use my social media apps. I knew the basics of Instagram, but they all decided my photos of random things were crap and that they needed to go. All of my random pictures were deleted except for a couple pictures of Whiskey doing her job. My new photos are of my friends being silly at lunch and after school.

I don't have to use crutches or a wheelchair anymore, either! I graduated to the brace full time for the next month and a half as I gain strength back in my leg. Getting around school is so much easier now since I'm not trapped behind everyone or constantly slipping on the freshly waxed floors or the concrete where someone spilled their drink. I also met a couple of the guys family members. They're all so close with each other that they get invited to each other's family events. First it was Billy, then Jay, then Aaron. I was very nervous, but I had a lot of fun with their families.

I haven't met any of Zak's family yet. He said that he's planning a trip to go meet them since they don't know he adopted me. Or even wanted kids. I met some of Dakota's friends and his sister Chelsea. They all came to visit recently and on that specific day, Zak had asked Dakota to pick me up and keep me entertained for a couple hours after school. So naturally Dakota took me back to the house he rents with his friends and that's where I met them all. They had sat in the kitchen with me and asked me a million questions while I did homework. They even helped me with the problems I couldn't figure out. It was a fun day.

The bell ringing snaps me out of my trance. I drop the pencil I was fidgeting with on the floor and I move to pick it up when a boy picks it up for me. Whiskey is on alert by the time I'm sitting back up.

"Here you go." He says

He's cute. Like really cute. His hair is clean cut, a dazzling smile with perfect white teeth and these amazing green eyes. He reminds me of Dakota, if Dakota had green eyes. I blush and mutter out a thank you. Whiskey whines again.

"Your Faith, right? You started like six months ago?" He asks as I close my binder and put it in my backpack.

I nod and force a smile.

"That's me." I force out

I get so nervous talking to new people, so I distract myself by sliding my backpack straps over my shoulders and grabbing Whiskey's leash.

"I'm Holden, nice to meet you." He says holding out his hand

I stare at it, fear surging through my body. I grip the straps of my bag tighter and swallow hard. Everything in my body is telling me to run, so I basically do.

"Nice to meet you too." I say and then slide past him, rushing out into the hall.

I breathe a sigh of relief once I'm away from him. I drop my bag off and head out to the exit doors near the classroom to let Whiskey out to pee. She runs off and burns some energy, bouncing and spinning in circles. She's barking and growling as she shakes her toy into submission. I have to take a video of her being silly, so I pull my phone out and watch her through the screen. Finally, once the bell rings signaling the start of class, she comes back to me, ready to work. I let her keep the toy since it doesn't make any noise and she gets bored quickly during this class. It's English, my last period of the day and we're reading a really boring book. We're supposed to be finishing it up today but thats what the teacher said three days ago. I get a text and as I sit down, I check my phone.

Zak: Spring break starts afterschool! Gonna take u 2 my hometown to meet my family Our flight is Sunday

Dakota is picking u up 2day

I type back and 'okay' and put my phone away. We finally finish reading the book and we have to write a full page on what we learned and turn it in at the end of class. At my old school, the week before spring break was filled with nothing but turning in missed assignments and movies. At Cimmaron Memorial, the week is filled with finishing assignments and lessons. At least they don't send us home with homework over the break. Tyler and Andrew lean over their desks to look at my paper. I shoo them away and they giggle.

"What are you doing this week for spring break?" Andrew asks

"I'm meeting my dad's family for the first time this week." I say as I finish up the paper and flip it over so the boys can't see what I wrote.

"For the first time? You're like 16, wouldn't you have met them already?" Tyler asks

Andrew kicks him under the table and I stifle a laugh.

"What?! It's a serious question!" Tyler asks, earning another kick in the leg.

"I'm adopted Tyler." I say "I haven't met my dad's family yet because he wanted me to settle in first. But he also didn't want me to miss any school."

"Ohhhh! Okay, I get it now! Well I hope you have fun!" Tyler says

"Thanks, Tyler." I say

The teacher comes around to collect our papers and I hand her mine. The bell rings shortly after, but I take my time packing up because of all the kids rushing out. I notice my phone is ringing. I answer.

"Hello?" I ask

"Hey it's me!" Dakota says loudly

"Hi, Dak. What's up?" I ask

"I'm gonna be late! I was at the store when Zak text so I have to drop the food off at my house, because I have frozen stuff! I'm almost done unloading. Will you be okay for a couple minutes?" He asks

I can hear Tanner and Alex yelling in the background and the crinkling of plastic bags.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll wait with Matt in the library." I say

"Awesome, I promise pizza and ice cream later. See you in a bit!" Dakota says and then he promptly hangs up the phone.

"Wanna go to the library with me for a little bit?" I ask Matt as I put my phone into my pocket.

"Sure. Who's picking you up?" Matt asks

We all start walking to the library as we talk.

"One of my dad's friends." I say "His name is Dakota, really nice guy. I think you'll meet him if he decides to get out of the car today."

"Dakota is a girls name." Matt says

"Dakota is a male and female name, Matthew." I snap

"Kidding!" He says raising his hands defensively.

"Better be." I say narrowing my eyes at him

We make it to the library and finish our chemistry and English homework so we don't have anything to do this coming week. Matt and I talk about his family and what they're planning to do on their upcoming trip. He explains how he has to share a room with his older brother who's in college and how he hates how his brother treats him like a baby. Then he asks me something I don't have the answer to.

"Do you have any siblings? I don't remember if you ever mentioned that when we met." He asks

I stay silent for a moment too long. I can feel myself shrink back into my chair and wrap my arms around myself.

"I have a lot of uncles." I say honestly.

I've come to accept the guys as honorary uncles. They treated me a lot better than my actual uncle for sure, but I wasn't sure if their families would accept me calling them aunts and cousins. I don't have any other living relatives. My mom was pregnant when she passed and she only had the one sister as far as I know.

"But siblings?" He asks again, a little more hesitantly

"I don't know." I mutter "I wasn't told about any other siblings when I was adopted."

I look down at the table, trying to avoid Matt's eyes.

"Oh… I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't now." He says

"It's fine. One of my uncles has a couple kids and the other one has a couple little nieces and nephews that come over every once in a while. So it balances out." I say trying to sound hopeful.

Every one in the group has siblings, so I feel like I'm missing out on some vital learning experience. Most of my friends have siblings. Most of which are younger and I'm too shy to talk to the pretty girls who sit next to me during classes. They're all super sweet and really nice to me. When I came to school with a massive duck shaped bruise on my cheek thanks to Whiskey whacking me with a rubber duck toy during playtime, they helped me cover it up during class time. When I was absent due to a doctor's appointment, they let me copy their notes and said they missed me and they were glad I was okay after my appointment.

"Faith? You wanna take a walk and look at the beetles hit people?" Matt asks

"Yes. I would like that." I say getting my stuff together.

Just then a text from Dakota saying he's here and parked out front.

"Sorry, Matt. My rides here. I gotta go." I say slinging my bag over my shoulders

We all walk outside and I spot Dakotas car parked in a row of empty spaces. He gets out of the car and meets me halfway, apologizing for being late and that he was at the store checking out but he rushed over as fast as he could.

"It's alright. I don't mind. You actually gave me time to finish my homework, so I have all week to be lazy haha." I say

Matt looks at Dakota like he knows him. Squinting his eyes and making 'hmm' noises. Dakota looks at him.

"Can I help you?" He asks

"I know you from somewhere, I just can't place it." Matt says

"Umm…. Okay then… Faith, you ready to go?" Dakota asks

"Yeah. I'll see you after spring break, Matt." I say loading Whiskey into the backseat, taking off her leash.

"Yeah, see ya. Nice to meet you, Dakota." Matt says walking away

I get into the car with Dakota and we drive off towards his house. It's actually just a house he rents with his friends, since none of them can afford to buy anything out here yet. They work the odd jobs every other week when they aren't working on editing YouTube videos or on business trips with Zak and the guys. I know for sure that Tanner has a full time job and Alex is getting a videography degree. Chelsea is going out school in Minnesota for ophthalmology and Dakota… Well I think he just recently graduated high school. I don't remember, he's very secretive about that.

We pull into the driveway about twenty minutes later and he helps me unload my backpack and Whiskey from the car. I can see that all the other guys are home as well by the cars in the driveway. Dakota tells me to make myself a home when he opens the front door. I kick off my shoes and roll onto the big, cushiony couch in the living room. I snatch the remote from the coffee table and turn on the TV, watching some cartoons and scrolling through my Instagram feed. I text a couple friends from school in a group chat we all have and then reach out to the group from the foster home. We catch up about once a month on Skype. All the girls eventually got adopted, except for Melissa. She's kept me up to date in how the other girls have been doing and how things at the home are going. We text every day even with the slight time difference.

Apparently, Kaden is still being a bitch. I try to be civil with him, since he occasionally texts me in the middle of the night to tell me about his day. He's kind of like me, emotionally. It takes him a long time to open up to someone and even if there's some amount of trust, he doesn't communicate his feelings very well. He's recently messaged me about his latest issue, a girl. I've met her before, she's really nice and has a crush on him, but he didn't know how to talk to her but from what he last told me, they're getting to know each other slowly.

I end up falling asleep splayed out on Dakota's couch for several hours. Probably due to boredom, but mostly because I was really tired. Tanner made everyone dinner and even fed Whiskey some dog food that Dakota keeps in case of emergencies. I wake up for dinner and to change into a pair of pajamas that Dakota keeps in his closet. I take a look around his room for a minute, never really noticing anything significant.

When I stay over during the day, I confine myself to the living room or kitchen. The only reason I would go into his bedroom is to grab the clothes I accidentally left here the one time Zak was going to be out really late. Dakota and I had went to the house after school and I picked up some old sweats and a baggy shirt and I left them in the backpack on the floor, forgetting to change into them. He kept them in his room and washes them every once in a while so they're clean for the next time I come over. Dakota's room looks like any boys. Bed in one corner, pushed against the wall, a nightstand on the side with a lamp on it. He has a desk on the other side of the room by the closet with trinkets on it. There's little action figures on said desk. He's got shelves on one wall, holding more little trinkets and such. He has a couple books stacked up on the emptier end of the desk and I pull the top one off the stack.

It's about fishing. I check the next book, it's an actual reading book. The author is someone I've never heard of but I pick it up and put the other one on top of the stack as I flip through the pages. I start reading the first chapter. It's good so far. I end up three chapters deep, feet propped up on Dakota's desk, chewing my thumb nail in anticipation for the next words on the page.

"Faith? You okay in here?" Dakota asks startling me out of my reading

"Jesus!" I squeal "You scared me!"

I pull my legs off the desk and turn around to face him. He's in the doorway or his room, looking slightly embarrassed. His eyes trail the floor and to the closet.

"Sorry. I shouldn't be in here." I say getting up

"No, no, it's fine. I'm just uh… One second." He says rushing to yank something off the floor

I watch as he cleans the floor of a couple dirty socks and clothes. For the first time I notice the over flowing laundry bin in the corner. I shrug at him.

"I really don't care about all that. It's your house, you don't have to keep it clean just cuz I'm here." I say

He sighs and dumps the rest of the clothes on the floor by the bin.

"I just don't want you to think I'm a messy person." He says turning to me

"But you are. And thats perfectly fine." I say

He laughs a little and motions me to follow.

"Oh, can I read this while I'm here? I'm bored and I can only scroll so much on Instagram." I say holding up the book

"Sure. Take it home with you and let me know when you're done. I can bring you another book and pick that one up." He says

I follow him out of the room with the book. We sit on the couch together and while Dakota plays his video games with Tanner, I read the book I took from his room intently. I'm halfway through when He gets another call from Zak, just as my own phone buzzes on my stomach. Dakota gets up and wanders into the kitchen to talk more privately with Zak. I check my phone.

Zak: 'Won't make it home 2nite, will u be ok w Dak 4 the nite?'

I reply, telling him I should be fine for one night but I would have to remember to get home to take my medications. Zak just says 'ok' and doesn't reply. Dakota comes back from the kitchen, looking at his phone.

"So…" he starts

"I already told him that I'll be fine for the night, I just have to get home early to take my medications." I say going back to the book

"Oh, I have those for you." Dakota says

"What?" I ask sticking my phone in the book as a place marker.

"Yeah. I um… got about a week's worth of all your meds from Zak just in case he was late to pick you up." He admits

I turn around to face him. That's… kind of hot. The way he actually cares about me and my wellbeing, making sure he has my vital medications in stock for me at his house.

"Oh… cool." I say, playing it off.

I lean back on the couch, putting my feet up on the coffee table. I go back to reading my book. Dakota sits next to me and continues his video game. I start getting sleepy, yawning and getting comfortable, but I fight the sleep and keep reading. When I wake up, I am neatly bundled in some blankets on Dakota's bed. I recognize the scent of his cologne on the sheets. I roll onto my back and feel for Whiskey who sleeps behind me. She sighs and sits up behind me, yawning. I get up out of the bed and shuffle towards the door. I don't even know what time it is as I walk down the hallway towards the bathroom. I hear someone shuffling in the living room while I use the bathroom. I think it's just Whiskey, but when I open the door, she's sitting outside the bathroom door and staring out into the hall. I pat her head and she gets up to follow me into the living room. There's a light on in the living room. I suddenly get scared. This is how people in horror movies die, because they're too stupid to go back to bed when they think something is in their friend's living room. I make it to the couch and spot it empty, with the exception of a blanket and a pillow.

Who the hell is sleeping here?

Whiskey growls at the dark kitchen. In the moonlight from the windows, I see a tall figure slide over to what looks like the kitchen sink. I freeze, my blood running cold. Oh my god, oh my god. Who IS that?! I can hear Whiskey growling as she sees what I see. Then the figure turns around and Whiskey stops growling. I still can't see the face on the figure. I start getting scared and the ringing in my ears blocking out any sound.

"Faith?" Dakota asks from right in front of me

"Huh?" I ask

I have a momentary wave of panic wash over me as I look around behind Dakota into the kitchen, still dark and empty.

"What.. the Kitchen! There was someone in the kitchen!" I say pulling on Dakota.

"What? What are you talking about? It was me in the kitchen!" Dakota says trying to calm me down

I stop and take in my immediate surroundings. Dakota is holding a glass of water in one hand and it looks fresh. I laugh to myself, it was just him in the kitchen, being all fucking creepy.

"Why are you out here?" I ask changing the subject

"I figured you would want to sleep alone. I didn't want to leave you alone in here." He says

"It's your house. Don't let me kick you out of your bed." I say

"It's fine really. Go back to bed, you need a couple more hours of sleep at least." He says

"I insist. Please, take your bed back." I say

"I don't want to intrude. You should really get some sleep. I'll walk you back to my room." Dakota says pulling me gently towards the hall.

He ends up in the bed next to me. I wasn't losing this argument and apparently he wasn't either. Whiskey jumps up and lays down by our feet. I look over at him and stick my middle finger up through the blanket with a sly smile. Then I roll over and go back to sleep.

I am NEVER letting him live this down. Best. Spring. Break. Ever.

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 22: Back to School

After an exciting trip to the pet store, we are finally back home in time for lunch to be delivered. Aaron ordered a pizza for us to enjoy in the living room while we watch TV. Whiskey and Gracie run around the house with each other, growling and barking, even playing tug of war with one of Whiskey's new toys.

"So how do you like her so far?" Dakota asks

I look at him and shrug.

"She got her not even two hours ago. Give her a couple weeks to warm up to her, Dakota." Zak says through a mouthful of pizza

I nod along with Zak, agreeing with him.

"I just meant having a dog in general, but I guess you're right." Dakota says

We all finish eating lunch and then Zak offers to show me where my new room is going to be. I let him wheel me into a short hallway by the living room and into a guest room.

"It's pretty much empty and never used, but it's big enough for you to use your wheelchair in and get around for now. We're going to the hospital later to get your cast off. Joanna called about thirty minutes ago to remind me." Zak says wheeling me into the center of the room.

It's a family large room with a big bed pressed against the far walls. There's a small walk in closet on one side and a desk at the window looking out into the front yard. I can see the street from the window, people are outside walking and talking with each other. There's even a brand new TV mounted on the wall.

"And as soon as you get used to the stairs, we can move you to the bigger room upstairs. That one has a bathroom attached to it and a view of the backyard. How does that sound?" Zak asks

"…sounds good…" I say gently

"Awesome. Do you wanna hang out in here for a bit and get settled or go back out with the guys and watch TV until your appointment?"

"… can I watch TV in here? I want to take a nap." I say a little louder

It doesn't hurt as much to talk now. I guess three weeks of massaging my throat and sucking on ice cubes helped the bruise heal a bit.

"Okay. I'll send Whiskey in here to keep an eye on you and I'll check on you too, make sure you don't fall off the bed or anything." Zak says helping me into the large bed.

I nod and watch as he shows me how to work the remote. He turns on Adventure Time for me and pulls a throw blanket over my legs in case I get cold. He goes to grab Whiskey for me and then closes the curtains. He sets a jar of water on the nightstand next to the bed and smooths my hair out gently.

"It's so good to hear your voice… I won't pressure you to talk more, I'll let you take your time with it. Just wanted to let you know." He says hugging me

I lean into the hug and smile. Zak leaves, keeping the door cracked open in case Whiskey needs to get someone and as soon as he's gone, I get my phone out and send a picture of a sleeping Whiskey to the girls back at the home with a text saying 'meet whiskey, my new service dog. She's a Doberman'

I fall asleep right after pressing send.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

three days later

I wake up to Whiskey licking my face. I was trying to take a nap after our training session but she has other plans. Or maybe I was having a nightmare, only she knows. I sit up and push her gently off my face.

"Okay, okay. Thank you." I mumble sleepily

"What's up, girl?" I ask as I rub my eyes

She jumps off the bed and heads for the door. She probably needs to go outside and pee. I get out of bed, sliding into the fuzzy slippers Zak let me buy a couple days ago and slowly follow her out to the hallway. The brace on my leg slows me down a lot. The doctors figured I needed to get strength back into my leg and this brace would do just that. I rub my face again as I slide open the back door and let Whiskey out to do her business. I sit in the living room waiting for Whiskey to come back. Suddenly I am aware of voices in the foyer. They're low male voices, whispering about something. Whiskey starts barking at the door. I get up and slide it open. The voices stop and then I hear footsteps.

"Faith?" Zak calls from the kitchen

"Yeah?" I call back

He comes into the living room and looks at me and Whiskey.

"I didn't know you were awake. You feeling okay?" He asks

"Yeah. I'm just gonna go back to sleep for a little bit. She woke me up to let her out." I say limping towards my room "Oh, can you guys keep it down in the foyer? I can hear you whispering from over here."

"Uh… Yeah… sure." Zak says as I walk back to the hall

I go back to sleep for another hour or so before I finally wake up and head out to the kitchen for lunch. Aaron and Dakota left yesterday to go back home, but they came back today for some reason.

"Faith. After lunch, we're going to take a tour of your new school." Zak says as he serves me a plate of lunch.

I look at him quizzically. I didn't think I would be starting a new school so soon.

"I know, I know. You didn't think you would be starting school so soon, but you have to. I put the paperwork in a month ago and they just got everything processed and they need you to take a tour before you start on Wednesday." Zak explains as he sits down across from me

I nod and start eating. I don't remember the name of the school I went to before meeting Zak and the school in Oregon was pretty small. I don't know what the school out here will be like. Will I have a uniform? Will I have to go up and down the stairs in crutches? Will I have trouble making friends in my semi verbal state? Is Whiskey coming with me to school? Are dogs even allowed at school? I slide the empty plate towards Zak as I think of more questions.

"Don't think too hard. You might pull a muscle." Dakota says with a smirk

I look at him worriedly.

Can that happen?!

"It's a joke, you won't pull a muscle from thinking too hard." Zak explains

"Sorry. I figured you would have gotten that one." Dakota says

"I've seen Zak pull a shoulder muscle from thinking too hard, but then again he scrunches up his shoulders when he's deep in thought." Aaron says

"Okay… thats enough. Faith, why don't you go get yourself ready to go. We're taking Whiskey with us so make sure you put on her harness and bring her paperwork." Zak explains as he clears his own dish from the table

I nod and make my way towards my bedroom to get ready. I take the brace off once I find a good pair of pants to wear since I can't wear anything form fitting for a little longer. Once I get the pants on and over the ACE bandage, I put the brace back on my leg and make sure it's secure before changing into a baggy black shirt. I make sure to get my crutches and Whiskey's 'SERVICE DOG, DO NOT PET' vest out of the closet before I apply sunscreen and grab my phone.

I even grab her little booties and slide them onto her feet to protect her from the hot pavement, even if she doesn't seem to mind the burning hot ground. Once I make sure she and I are ready to go, I grab a bag, pack all my things into it, including Whiskeys service dog paperwork, and head out towards the front door. Zak is waiting for me with Whiskey's leash and two big water bottles.

"Ready to go?" He asks

I shrug and limp out the door, my crutches tucked under my arms to keep me steady.

~~

The tour of the school is the easiest part of the whole thing. The building is airconditioned and it feels like heaven.

"This is the library. You'll get your textbooks today as you'll need them for homework. Next to the library is an elevator for students to use since there's a lot of stairs. Your classes will most likely be downstairs, but there are a couple different elevators for you to use and you'll have a member of the student body to come help you get around for the first two weeks unless you can find your classes on your own in the first week." the guide says

She's not really a guide. She's just the student office assistant and message girl. Whiskey seems to be okay navigating the halls with no problem. The bell rings and I flinch.

Zak rubs my back gently and Whiskey smushes her nose into my leg. Floods of kids come out of the classrooms as we make our way to the next area of the tour.

"The halls get a little bit crowded during this hour since it's lunch time but its usually a smaller group of kids walking around. Let me show you to the cafeteria and you can take a look at the courtyard. It's hot outside today but we have shades set up to keep students cool.

We make it outside to the courtyard after walking through the cafeteria. People stared as we walked by and a few groups started whispering. I immediately just know that I am going to be answering a lot of questions if I ever start making friends here. I was hoping for a smooth and invisible introduction to this school. Kind of like my old one, I didn't need the fancy tour or a guide showing me around the campus. I just showed up one day and the girls in the foster home took me around campus to find all my classes.

I look at Zak and tap his arm while the guide drones on about the courtyard.

"Can we go. I really don't want to do this anymore. There's a lot of people here just looking at us and it's making me uncomfortable." I whisper.

"Yeah, let me tell her." Zak says patting my head gently

He then interrupts the guide and makes up a lie on why we should get back to the office. The guide nods gently and starts making her way through the crowd, back towards the office. I sit down as soon as we make it back into the office. The office staff don't have the papers ready quite yet so Zak and I are sat in an office, waiting to meet again with the principal, the vice principal, and my new guidance counselor. Once we finally do meet with them, they hand us both a folder with a packet containing important information, my class schedule, a copy of the dress code, and a small school agenda on top. They even hand me a backpack full of school supplies. I do look through it just to see what's inside. There's an empty binder, a box of wooden pencils, a box of mechanical pencils, a pack of multicolored pens and markers, colored pencils, a couple of empty folders, a five subject blank notebook, and a pack of loose leaf paper. I don't think I will need all of this stuff but I zip the bag up regardless and place it on the floor at my feet. Whiskey sniffs it as she's underneath my chair. I wait as Zak and the adults go through the paperwork and sign all the lines, agreeing to things I'm not really listening to.

"Faith." Zak says, getting my attention.

I look at him quizzically.

"I need you to sign here. I'm gonna be having a security guard come with you to school just in case. You won't have them here for a few weeks but you need to know about it." Zak says

I nod and sign on the line he pointed to on the page, unsure why I need a security guard to go to school with me.

Zak and I finally get to leave after an extra hour of talking to the staff about having Whiskey with me during the day, showing paperwork, the school getting copies of all the paperwork, and the final red stamp of approval. I sit in the car with Whiskey in the backseat. She's basically panting in my ear and then she kisses my face.

"EUGGHHHH!" I say as she gets slobber all over my face.

She barks and I laugh as I rub her head. Zak gets into the car and starts driving back towards his house.

"Did you like the school?" he asks

"It was nice. Very big." I say wiping my face off more with my shirt

"You don't start until next week, but I figured you would benefit from having a little tour before you start." He says

"I guess." I say looking out the window.

"What's up?" He asks

"It's just… I don't want to be stared at. I was practically invisible at my last school, but here it feels like I'm gonna be stared at all the time." I say

"Aww kiddo, you'll be okay. They don't get a lot of new students this early in the year. And they were all staring at me, not you." He says pulling into a parking lot

"It's because of your stupid looking hat." I mutter with a smirk

"I like my stupid hat!" He says defensively "You'll do great, kid. C'mon. Let's go look for some new school clothes."

He gets out and comes around the side to help me out and into the wheelchair, which he keeps in the trunk. Whiskey hops out of the back seat and walks by my wheelchair very easily. Then Zak pushes me into the large department store, excited to go shopping for clothes.

[heavy-eyez]

Chapter 21: Surprises

the next morning

I wake with a little jolt, feeling semi trapped in a nightmare. The house I'm in, and the couch I'm sleeping on is unfamiliar to me. The whole room is dark, making it almost impossible to see anything. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I can vaguely make out a semi familiar set of shoes tucked under the coffee table. I sit up quickly and look around for a light. There's a lamp on the stand next to the couch I'm on. Leaning back and dragging myself towards it, I finally manage to twist the little switch until the light flicks on. The room is flooded with a soft, warm light. I turn around too take a look at where I ended up falling asleep.

The dark figure of the man from the hotel lunges towards me, growling.

I wake up screaming, thrashing around. I land with a thud on a carpeted floor. I can feel someone rushing towards me, but I scramble away as fast as I can, trying to get a hold of my surroundings.

"Faith!" Someone yells

I don't look in their direction, instead tucking my head in my arms and pressing my face into the carpet as I try to catch my breath. I'm shaking like a leaf, bordering on hyperventilating. A large, warm hand presses against my back. I whip around, wild eyed, searching for my 'assailant'. I'm met with Zak's worried face, much to my relief.

"Are you okay?" He asks gently

I shake my head no.

"Okay. I'm here. It was just a nightmare. Did you hurt yourself when you fell?"

Another shake no.

"Good. Take a deep breath for me, you're safe here."

Inhale, hold, exhale. One big deep breath. Inhale, hold, exhale. Another breath. I can feel my body starting to relax as I slow my breathing down.

"Feeling a little better?" He asks

I nod a little.

"Good. Can I help you up? I don't want you on the floor." Zak says

I nod again, turning around to face Zak and allowing him to wrap his arms around me. He lifts me with ease and carries me back to the couch. Only once he makes sure I'm comfortable does he take a seat next to me. He leans back, legs outstretched, hands folded in his lap. I mimic his hand placement and twiddle my thumbs.

"You wanna talk about the nightmare?" He asks gently

I take a moment to think about it. Reluctantly, I nod. I keep my gaze down as I hear Zak get up. He's sitting down a moment later with a pen and pad of paper. I take them both and place them on my lap. Quickly, with my left hand, I write out what I dreamt.

'My dream was about the man from the hotel being in the house. I was awake and turning the lamp on and when I turned around he was lunging for me and growling I guess. Scared me.' I scribble

I hand the pad over to Zak, who takes a second to read it.

"Oh… I'm sorry, Faith. That must have been really scary for you. I promise you're safe here, I've made sure of it." Zak says handing me the pad of paper again.

'How do you know that for sure?'

He reads the page.

"Before I was able to bring you home, I took a deeper look into your file. We still don't know too much about your past, or what happened to where you ended up on the side of that road in the middle of the night, but we do know a little more about your family. Your real family." He explains

'My real family?'

"They were some big time graphic designers, but you know that huh? Well, they were also a big part of their community. Donated to charities, helped build shelters for people in need, donated money to causes all around the world when they could. They were really good people, Faith. They loved you so much, they had a foundation named after you, to help children in need, people still donate to this day and the people who ran it when you were a baby are still sending out donations to kids all around the world." Zak says

That's…. Awfully sweet of them… They were good people. I wish I could be with them, have them close to me, holding me. Tears pool in my eyes and trickle down my cheeks.

'They did good things. I miss them' i scribble through the tears dripping onto the paper

"I know kid. I'm sure you do, and I wish they were still here for you. I may not be them, but I'll do my absolute best to make sure you are as happy here as you were back then. As far as being safe, I have cameras set up around the outside of the house, I have a connection in the Las Vegas Police Department that is on call to our house whenever we need. Is that good?"

I nod and wipe my eyes with the palm of my hands, sniffling.

'Promise?' I scribble onto the sheet

"I promise." Zak says hugging me gentlySometime after that conversation with Zak, I fell back to sleep. I wake up still on the couch with a blanket covering me and the television on, playing Adventure Time. I was going to get up but I sit up instead, focused on the TV show playing. Zak and Aaron come into the living room arguing about fruit options for breakfast. I don't look away from the TV. "Faith... fruit... eat...." I turn my head and stare at them with my mouth open slightly "Uh?" I ask confused "What kind of fruit do you eat for breakfast?" Aaron asks "If you like fruit for breakfast that is." Zak adds I close my mouth and take a deep breath. Then I shrug. I've never really liked fruit with my breakfast but I do get the occasional apple craving. I sign apple to them and turn towards the TV before realizing that they don't know sign language. I frantically look for the pen and paper I had last night. I find it on the floor by the couch and grab it. 'Apple if i have to choose. Don't really have fruit for breakfast.' They read the note and nod. "Apples are good." "Yeah I can agree with that." "Thanks kid." They walk away and I turn back to the television. I sit there for about an hour, wiggling in my seat, trying to hold in my pee. Zak and Aaron are still in the kitchen and I can hear pans clinking together, plates being set, utensils and such being pulled from a drawer. "Faith, you hungry!?" Zak calls yanking my attention to the other side of the room His footsteps come towards the living room and he takes one look at me before helping me up and into the bathroom downstairs. I squeeze him tightly and close the door so I can use the bathroom. I manage to go and wash my hands just fine. When I knock on the bathroom door, Zak helps my into my crutches and leads me to the kitchen. "Hungry kiddo?" He asks I nod and sit down at the Kitchen Island. Billy and Dakota are already there, possibly within the last hour. Breakfast is served and as I eat, I lean over to watch Adventure Time. Dakota keeps hitting my elbow with his while he eats. I have my favorite TV show playing through, so I don't retaliate. I look down and realize my plate is now empty, but I'm still hungry. The men talk amongst themselves. How do I get their attention? I tap my hand on the counter. No one hears it. I tap harder. Still nothing. I frown. "Uhh?" Is all I can manage to say They all look up. "What's up kiddo?" Zak asks I slide my plate towards him and press my hands together in a 'please' motion. Zak takes the plate and fills it with more food. "There you go, eat up. Glad you like it." He says with a soft smile I sign thank you and he nods. "So. After breakfast, we have a surprise for you." Zak says I look at him quizzically. "You'll see, chop chop." Zak says and I finish my food quickly

I sit in the car, dressed and ready to go to this surprise location while Zak takes his sweet time making sure he has everything in his Manila folder. When he finally gets into the car and starts driving, I'm shaking with nerves. We drive for quite a while before we finally start slowing down and pulling into a parking lot. The big tan building looks menacing. My mind races with the million possibilities that could be happening.

Zak helps me out of the car and into the building. We approach a front desk where the receptionist looks up and smiles at us. I hear a noise in the distance, maybe further down the hall? Where the hell did he bring me?

"Hi! Bagans family here for an appointment?" Zak says leaning on the desk

"Of course! We've been expecting you since the call. Follow me right this way!" the woman says

"Trust me, kid. You are gonna love this! I'm sure of it." Zak says with a big smile.

I just nod as the noise gets louder. It's barking. Lots and lots of dogs barking. This would probably be a great time to mention that I am a little bit scared of big dogs in big packs. My uncle used to have two big dogs that he used for dog fighting in the backyard, he would use me as the bait until the police shot the dogs for attacking a neighbors kid. I like Gracie, sure, she's a sweet dog who knows her commands, but I've also only known her for about twelve hours. She spent most of that time with Zak. The woman opens a door to a big room with a couple chairs and an examination table.

"Sit here. your trainer will be with you shortly." the receptionist says sweetly

We sit in the chairs provided and wait patiently. I pull my phone out of my pocket after I lean my crutches on the wall.

'there are dogs here'

I show the message to Zak.

"Yes. There are dogs here." he says

'i

am not fond of dogs.'

He reads it.

"Oh… Um…"

I rapid fire type out my next message.

'my uncle had a dog fighting ring and used me as bait for the dogs. thats why. I don't want to be used as bait again.'

another moment of silence as he reads the next message. He mutters out a few curses before looking at me.

"You have nothing to worry about. This isn't a dog fighting ring. This is a service"

"Hello Mister and Miss Bagans! I'm Cristine and I'm your trainer! I am so pleased to finally meet you both!" says a woman who walks into the room from a door behind the exam table

I stare at this new woman. She looks friendly enough but I'm still wary. She walks over to shake our hands, which Zak does. I just kind of stare at her blankly, wondering what she wants from me.

"Right. well, lets get started shall we? Mr. Bagans, you called us a few months ago asking if there was going to be any dogs available around this time. I am pleased to inform you that there are a couple dogs readily available for your daughter. Are you guys ready to go meet them?" Cristine says

"We have a couple questions first." Zak says

I type out my own questions on my phone while Zak asks about paperwork and legalities and such.

'What is the dog for? Do I get to choose the dog? Are they nice? Do they bite? Are they able to walk with me on my crutches?'

"So that's about it for the paper work and such. It's six weeks of training on site and then you guys will be all set for the next several years, and when pup is ready to retire, you'll come back over and we'll pair you with another one." Cristine explains "Miss Bagans, do you have any questions?"

I look at her, wide eyed and nod slowly, handing over my phone to her. She reads the questions typed out on the screen and then takes a deep breath before replying.

"Okay. These are very good questions! Let's start with the first one. These are service dogs, they are dogs trained to provide a service specific to the person they are paired with. Like guide dogs for the blind, dogs for the deaf that alert when there's an ambulance approaching, or even a therapy dog visiting sick children in the hospital. It takes two years for them to get trained, starting when they are puppies, and then they are available to be adopted out to their new homes, ready to work." Cristine explains

"To answer your second question, Normally you don't get to choose which dog you get, it's based on the trainers opinion and your needs and which dog can provide those needs. Luckily, we have four dogs you can choose from, all trained for the specifications in the file your dad set up. Next, yes! The dogs are nice, they don't bite! All our dogs are super friendly and trained to greet people on command. Two of the dogs we will be working with today are trained to greet and two are not. Some times the owner doesn't want the dog to greet others and it's hard to train it out of them, so we train two or three to greet when they are young. Lastly, they are able to walk with you in your crutches. They are also trained to walk with you in a wheelchair if that need should arise." Cristine says handing the phone back to me.

I take the phone and take a deep breath. She took the time to explain how things work without making me feel stupid. I type out a thank you on my phone and look at Zak.

"Ready to go meet some dogs?" He asks

I nod and get to my feet and into my crutches. Cristine leads us out of the room and down another hallway before we reach a large training room with bog windows. The barking dogs is a lot quieter now. We're told to wait for just a moment while Cristine goes and grabs the dogs with a couple other volunteers in the facility. They come back about a minute and a half later with four dogs, all of them large, two of them fluffy, two of them short haired.

"So here we have Remus and Romulus. They are all trained for your specific needs. Romulus is trained to greet, Remus is not. The next two are Whiskey and Bourbon. Whiskey is trained to greet, Bourbon is not." Cristine says pointing to the dogs

Whiskey and Bourbon are Dobermans, while Remus and Romulus are Golden Retrievers. They all look like very nice dogs, sitting so patiently waiting for their next command.

~~

Ten minutes later, I've walked around with both Golden Retrievers and Bourbon. I'm being handed Whiskey's leash before I know it. Whiskey comes up to my hip and sits down. She sits patiently, waiting for me to start. There's something about her that just makes me feel comfortable. We start walking forwards and around the room, she stays on my left the whole time, a safe distance from my crutches. I look up to Zak and nod.

"I think Whiskey is the one. She's very comfortable with you." Cristine says coming up to the side of the both of us

I nod at her.

"I would like to try something if that's alright? It's going to be scary but this is a perfectly controlled experiment, you will be one hundred percent safe." Cristine says

I nod again and wait for her to walk away and turn back towards me.

"Whiskey, Guard." Cristine says as one of the volunteers starts walking up to me

Whiskey, who's stood in front of me now, bares her teeth at the volunteer and growls. As the man gets closer, she snarls, barks, and pulls at her leash. I start to panic a bit as the man doesn't stop. Whiskey keeps barking and pulling her leash.

"Heel!" Cristine says loudly

Whiskey immediately stops and tucks herself between my legs instead of to my left like she did previously.

"I think she's a great fit. She will be perfect for you." Cristine says "So we will have you come back every day for a week or two just to get familiar with her, but she is going home with you today so she can get herself familiarized with your home and your family."

Zak and I nod along to what she says. She brings us all back to the room we were in before and has us fill out some paperwork. I need to sign the paperwork, but I've never signed anything before and I don't remember if I know cursive. My signature comes out as more of a scribble, which Zak and Cristine say is completely fine because it'll be harder for someone to forge it. After what seems like endless paperwork, Zak and I are finally leaving.

"So remember, you guys will be coming back here everyday for three weeks for training. Your first day is going to be Monday next week. We'll give you a call a day or two before to remind you. See you guys soon!" Cristine says as we walk out with Whiskey and a large bag of her food.

We wave goodbye and get back into the car. Whiskey jumps into the backseat and immediately lays down on the seat while Zak tucks my crutches on the floor under the seats. When he gets back in the car he pulls out his phone and snaps a couple photos of Whiskey and I.

"I was thinking we could start a scrap book of our time together. It'll be a fun way to bond." he says

I nod thinking it'll be a good thing to try and bond with the man who rescued me.

"Alright. Our first stop is going to be the pet store so we can stock up on supplies for Whiskey. She may be a service dog but when she's not wearing her vest, she's just a dog, so she needs something to keep her entertained when she's off duty." Zak explains as he drives away.

I nod along and keep staring at the large dog behind me whose tongue is sticking out of her mouth while she pants. She licks my face a couple times before I can stop it.

"Aggghh!" I croak out.

"Haha! Looks like she likes you!" Zak says as I wipe the slobber off my face.

I huff and cross my arms as Whiskey licks my face again. I take a couple blurry pictures on my phone, the car ride not making it easy to get a good picture of her. We finally arrive at the pet store parking lot and get out of the car. Zak helps me into my wheelchair, which he packed just in case I needed it and we make our way into the store.