as y’all know I’ve been on hiatus for the last month on all my characters and have ended up dropping Kiseop (rip I loved him a lot). to get things rolling on heenim again I just want to say that I’m dropping all of my current threads and starting from a blank slate so please, please, please hmu for some plotting and stuff ;u;
❝ How long has it been since you last spoke to them? ❞
sentence meme starter • closed!
He the gave the younger man a look as if to say ‘mind your own fucking business’ before he returned to cleaning glasses before Wonderland opened. But the question had already wriggled its way underneath his skin, making him angry every time he thought about it until he finally put his drying cloth down and gave the Wonwoo brat the dirtiest glare he could muster.
“Ya, you rascal,” Heechul began, pointing an accusing finger at the resting bitch faced punk, “what gives you the right to pry into my private life? You think I’d willingly seek out the people who kicked me out for making out with a guy?! Fuck no. So I haven’t spoken to them since I was sixteen. Now sod off, don’t you have a drink to spit in or something?” He turned his back to Wonwoo before looking up at the ceiling, exhaling deeply. He couldn’t care less about his parents but it was his two older sisters he felt most sorry for but he couldn’t bring himself to track them down.
It was probably better that they thought him dead.
⟢ Bonding between the broken, the beaten, and the damned
sentence starter meme • accepting
tw: ptsd insinuation, abuse mention, human trafficking, prostitution, underage sex insinuation, suicidal thoughts, alcohol mention
@mixnightingale — and so the cat listened to the nightingale and answered the questions found in his song
Phase I.
❝ How long has it been since you lost them? ❞
Hyungwon held a picture in his hands, a picture from a happier time. It was a picture from Heechul’s wedding. He and Kimi were beautiful and happy and so very much alive. That day were the said their vows and exchanged rings was still as clear as day in his mind and no amount of alcohol could ever dim the pure bliss that bubbled within him as he saw her walk towards him in her dress. She looked radiant, like she was illuminated from the inside, her skin positively glowing.
My love.
Heechul smiled at the picture of them together, her head resting on his shoulder and their hands entwined between them. Wonnie had asked about Kimi and he’d told her that she’d been ripped away passed on. He had let it go for a while but now he was asking again. It wasn’t like it was a difficult question to answer but it made him shake and tremble as he was suddenly transported to their last moment together, Kimi bleeding out in his arms and using her last breath reassuring him that it would all be okay. His ears rang with the sound of bullets being fired all around them causing him to flinch, nails digging into his palms. The pain reminded him that he was in the present and what he heard and saw before him wasn’t real, but only a very painful memory.
A memory.
“Hyung?”
Blurrily, he could see the outline of Hyungwon looking at him with what could’ve been concern. He smiled weakly, rubbing his eyes and inhaling, his heart still beating madly in his ribcage. “I’m fine. I’m alright,” he muttered, more for his own benefit than anything, “It’s been four years since she... died,” Heechul finally answered quietly.
And it still hurts like hell every time I think of her.
Phase II.
❝ Have you ever been taken advantage of? ❞
Heechul’s hands stilled for a moment unsure of why the younger male would broach such a topic. They were close—heck, he was washing his hair for him—but they rarely talked about serious topics like that unless it was three in the morning and their demons were acting up again. He resumed shampooing Wonnie’s hair, working up a nice lather as he thought of how to answer his question. “Close your eyes. I’m going to rinse now okay?” he instructed gently using the shower hose wash away the foam. “Aaaand we’re done. Let me get you a towel.”
Wrapping the towel around Hyungwon’s slim body Heechul couldn’t resist giving him a back hug. The boy was honestly so pure and way too young to carry all those demons inside of him. “In answer to your question... yes, I suppose I have,” he said in a sad voice, still wrapped around the other’s shoulders. “I think I might have told you before but I was a whore for seven years. Got abducted off the street when I was seventeen... started working soon after.” He released Wonnie and undid his own silk robe just enough for it to slip down his pale back. “Look,” he said, his back turned towards the younger male, “see the thin scars? Those are from that time... you can touch them if you want to. I don’t mind.”
He shivered slightly underneath the other’s tentative touch, goosebumps erupting along their course. It had been a long time since he’d shown his scars to anyone in such a vulnerable state... not since Kimi had passed. But with Hyungwon he felt a bond of sorts, a bond where he wanted to protect the boy from anymore harm from the shitty world they resided in. “Even if my back is scarred I’m still one of the most gorgeous men on the planet,” Heechul joked as he felt Wonnie pull his hand away.
Silence.
❝ I’m scared of being used again… ❞
Those six words words broke his heart. Heechul wasn’t equipped to deal with emotionally vulnerable people much less someone who’d gone through what he could imagine had been a traumatic childhood. What could he even say? ‘Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine’ was such stinking horse shit. There was no guarantee that everything was going to be fine for the rest of the boy’s life. Both of them knew it.
“Hyungwon-ah,” he said, using his name instead of his customary nickname of ‘pretty boy’, “look at me.” Gently Heechul lifted the other’s face, his thumb and forefinger resting under his chin. He sighed, knowing that his eyes were probably full of concern and probably a hint of sadness. “Hyung can’t promise you that everything will be okay but I will do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again, hm? You can always count on me, okay. Hyung won’t ever abandon you.”
As if to seal his promise he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the other’s still damp forehead. “Now let me dry your hair before you catch a cold.”
Phase III.
❝ You can’t just run away all the time. ❞
“And why the fuck not?” he growled from where he lay, whisky bottle in hand with only a few dregs left at the bottom. Heechul could vaguely make out Hyungwon standing over him, his face impassive. Sometimes he really regretted giving the boy his lock password to his flat. What did a man have to do to get shitfaced by himself without having his actions judged? “I’m not fucking running, either,” he slurred waving the empty bottle in the air as he pointed at the younger man accusingly, “I’m— I’m— this is purely recreational.”
That was a big fat lie and they both knew it.
Heechul felt the bottle being tugged from his grasp but his hands reacted too slowly for him to keep his hold. Wonnie then lifted him up and practically dragged him to his bed before setting him down none to gently on the mattress. With a groan and bleary unfocused eyes he pointed yet again at his friend as his mind tried to put words together in a way that made sense.
“Who are you tell me that I can’t run? I’ve been through fucking hell and somehow I’m still on this fucked up earth! I’ve been used and abused by countless strange men like the piece of shit I am! I lost the only good thing that ever happened to me because I couldn’t protect her! I’m worthless scum... It should’ve been me who died that night, you hear that! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME!”
By now Heechul was screaming, tears completely obscuring his vision as his hands clutched at his chest.
“She raised me from the gutter and I let her die... I let her die in my arms...”
Sobs wracked his body as he was once more filled with the self-loathing that was ever present but held at bay during the day.
“If I was really running from myself I would’ve killed myself a long time ago. I’ve tried! I have fucking tried to end my pathetic existence but, like the cowardly shit I am, I can never do it. And I hate myself even more because of it...”
Heechul felt the mattress dip as Hyungwon crawled onto it and felt his hands wipe away the tears from his bloated, ugly, snotty face. The gesture made him half laugh, half sob. The boy really was too good for him. He didn’t deserve anything nice in this godforsaken world. Hyungwon tucked him into bed silently before sitting next to him once more, stroking his hair until he began to drift off to sleep, completely and utterly drained. He felt something soft brush his forehead followed by a mere whisper that could’ve been taken as a breeze.
“Hyung promised that you’d never abandon me. Remember that.”
“Run? Who says I’m running? I fucking hate running.”
Heechul eyes Jin with a wry smirk as he pours them both a drink: a gin and tonic. It’s a sly jab at his companion but after what feels like being interrogated he doesn’t really give a damn. “Why are you here anyway, huh? Besides, who are you to talk about running or not running? We’re both fakes, you and I, so don’t lecture me on facing my demons, boy.” He lifted his drink and drained it in one go, his eyes never leaving Jin’s.
Hey, lovelies! This is a sentence starter meme for everyone! You’ll be able to reblog this meme for fourteen days starting today but feel free to continue answering memes after that, if need be. Go wild with them and have fun! (Feel free to use this for sentence starters or drabbles; the most important thing is to get everyone writing. Hopefully it’ll spark some new plot ideas and interactions too!)
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[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] as if I needed more company
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] it’s fucking crowded down here
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] but it’s nice and warm
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] bring some whiskey down will ya I’m parched
A pause.
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] but on a serious note what happened
outgoing → heechul hyung
[ ✉ ] nothing major
[ ✉ ] just y'know. feeling murderous
[ ✉ ] whiskey sounds good right now though
[ ✉ ] if you’re up for a drink?
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] the day I’m not up for a drink is the day you should put me in my grave
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] of course I’m up for a drink u punk
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] several in fact ㅎㅎ
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] get your cute ass to wonderland and I’ll pour you one on the house ♡
[ msg ⇢ jin and tonic ] only one. if u drink more ur paying for it. I do run a business after all ㅋ
{ heenim 🐱 } ✉️ ➡ it doesn’t?
the revelation doesn’t exactly bring disappointment. hyungwon had been expecting it. it still was a heavy weight atop his chest, rendering his limbs uselessly numb. he gave up on sleep. sat up in his bed, back propped against two soft pillows. hyungwon had never spoken to someone about the demons that haunted him at night. everyone else in the shin household was suffering by the hand of the very same ones. and jiho usually became sad, gained that certain, almost pained, look in his eyes whenever hyungwon mentioned something about it. it would be too much of a bother.
{ heenim 🐱 } ✉️ ➡ i don’t think i ever told hyung where i come from, right? well, it’s not the nicest background and i’ve had to do a lot of things i didn’t want and didn’t like but it was a situation where i had to obey or die and for some reason i could only fight on. it still hunts me sometimes, though. all the things that i’ve seen and done
Aigoo. What can of worms was he opening up at this time of night? He’d meant it when he had said that Hyungwon wasn’t an inconvenience—no one deserved to feel that way about themself—but the younger’s reply had made him realise that Heechul had no fucking clue of what he was getting himself into. Wonnie was right, he knew nothing about him other than what he’d seen in person. They’d never spoken about either of their pasts preferring to forge something new and light.
But tonight... they were travelling down many untrodden paths.
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] no u haven’t
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] but I figured you’d talk about it when you were ready. after all I never mentioned anything about my past self either ㅋㅋㅋ
Heechul paused, brow furrowed in thought. What could he say to this young man? Anything vaguely placating also carried a tone of condescension, which he really wasn’t going for, but he didn’t want to just leave it at ‘this will stick with you forever’. He grimaced at his phone screen cursing whoever made him suffer sleepless nights. Wonnie didn’t deserve this.
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] hyung wishes he could tell you that it’ll be okay... but the truth is it’ll probably stay with you for a long rime. I don’t know what you’ve done but when choosing between life and death and choosing life... it’s not bad. ur a good person hyungwon. the fact that u regret and feel sorry for what you’ve done is a testament to that
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] don’t lose that side of you. the moment u lose that u’ve lost yourself and your humanity
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] ah... didn’t mean to go all deep and shit ㅋㅋ sorry \o/
[ ✉ ajae ] I SAID MAYYYYYYYYYYYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[ ✉ ajae ] YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE THAT SAAAAAAAAVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[ ✉ ajae ] AND AFTER ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
[ ✉ ajae ] YOU'RE MY WONDER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
[ ✉ ajae ] haha anyway im going 2 hell cause i posted a twitter compilation of a hot spd officer fixing my door and now i have the attention of too many individuals who know his sexiness
[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] I hope you get vocal nodules
[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] or just fucking choke
[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] you’re on a lifetime ban from wonderland u fucker
[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] did the neighbours complain about your singing again lmao is that why the cops busted down your door
[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] jesus ur a thirsty ass bitch please drool somewhere else
[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] NO[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] I don’t want you here[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] go away with your fucking guitar[ msg ⇢ busker busker ] don’t need your wonderwall covers in hell
[ msg ⇢ will spit in your coffee ] what is ‘it’[ msg ⇢ will spit in your coffee ] are you finally getting a personality replacement[ msg ⇢ will spit in your coffee ] I’m totally 100% behind u for that[ msg ⇢ will spit in your coffee ] if ur talking about something else then don’t do it[ msg ⇢ will spit in your coffee ] actually do it bc it’s probably something that’ll get your ass in trouble, brat
[ ✉ — pretty cheshire cat ] please don’t wreck yourself, good god.
[ ✉ — pretty cheshire cat ] hm…sounds interesting. I’m free today, so I guess I might as well.
[ ✉ — pretty cheshire cat ] Suppose I could amuse you, too. As long as you promise you’ll try your hardest not to wipe the floor.
[ ✉ — pretty cheshire cat ] It would be a tragedy to see your poor face hurt.
[ ✉ — pretty cheshire cat ] I’m on my way. Focus on your practice and we can talk when I get there.
[ msg ⇢ black widow ] yes it would be a tragedy if my beautiful face got hurt
[ msg ⇢ black widow ] fuck yeah. I’m going to give you a make over that will kill any man who looks at you
[ msg ⇢ black widow ] I mean you could kill them in a conventional way but I like this method more~!
[ msg ⇢ black widow ] u brat. I’ve had plenty of practice over the years! how about u, hm. when was the last time u walked in stilettos?!?
[ msg ⇢ black widow ] yeah bitch thought not. btw when u arrive just ask dondon the bouncer to fetch me
He sent the last text with a derisive snort before standing again, wobbling slightly. Perhaps wearing these heels weren’t the best idea but they made his legs look super long and amazing. He loved being taller than most people. Except his pride could potentially lead him to ruin if he took one wrong step. “Maybe I’ll go with the platforms instead,” Heechul muttered as he tottered away to the changing room where his ladies were gathered to change his outfit yet again.
@heechulmi
Heechul lay awake in his bed playing games on his phone when he got a message alert from Hyungwon. It wasn’t a regular occurrence so he was intrigued what would possess the boy to contact him so late. A sad smiled flitted across his face as he saw the text. He knew that feeling.
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] welcome to the club
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] anything on your mind?
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] you can come over if you want to since I’m awake anyway
{ heenim 🐱 } ✉️ ➡ not really… not anything specific… just
{ heenim 🐱 } ✉️ ➡ do you know that feeling when memories won’t let you go and they keep repeating themselves when you close your eyes?
{ heenim 🐱 } ✉️ ➡ i can’t seem to shake them off
{ heenim 🐱 } ✉️ ➡ i don’t want to bother master jiho with it and i don’t want to be an inconvenience to you. i’m sure you have enough worries without me whining to you
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] I wish I didn’t but I do
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] that feeling doesn’t go away no matter how much time passes and it fucking sucks ass
This kid was too young to be plagued by such a feeling and Heechul felt rather sorry for him. He wished there was something he could do to make him have a peaceful night’s rest but that would be like the blind leading the blind. Hopefully talking about his thoughts would put his mind at ease.
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] ya listen kid
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] you’re not an inconvenience
[ msg ⇢ pretty boy wonnie ] talk to me. tell me what’s on your mind. this hyung will listen to everything
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