Guren Ichinose victim of emotional and physical abuse
Guren is someone who is always guilty for every act he commits, he is seen as a genocidal and a bad person who has played with people's lives as he pleases, but what I have noticed is that many ignore that Guren is a victim of emotional and physical abuse, that he has made mistakes, and he himself knows what was his biggest mistake in life, he is naive, he is abusive, but only with himself, he is a boy that anyone can hurt him and even so he keep trying and striving for the people he love. He always cares about others, he always tries to strive to be a better person and does nothing but try again and again to learn, teach, fight only to protect others.
Many ignore the fact that his misfortunes began from the moment he interacted with a completely toxic and abusive girl, where many say that it was one of the best things that happened to guren, which is actually seen, a little boy who begins to show and feel like a person without value, without self-esteem. Guren since he starts interacting with Mahiru since he was 5 years old shows signs of emotional abuse, such as manipulation, control and being forced and pressured into something that he is not, he was just a naive and innocent child, she is his trauma, that trauma that prevented him from growing as a person and seeing that there are many more things than just feeling like garbage all the time. But mahiru was not an innocent girl, already at that age she was aware of many things, the worst of all, that of hurting an innocent family that had nothing to do with her simply because she wanted revenge on her family.
Many speak of guren being in love of mahiru from 5 years to adolescence, and even still 24 years old.
Guren was never in love, the emotional abuse that guren has suffered since he was a child by mahiru is not love, since she forced his mind and turned it into a fantasy bond. Guren being a child falls in love with the idea of childhood love not with mahiru, guren think that interect with her is the most normal thing, so he created an illusionary connection with her, created a sense of safety and security so guren begins to feel responsible for her from the moment they take mahiru by force and he feels that he could not protect her. Now when guren grows he still feels affection towards her, an attached because guren wants to protect them all equally. But the illusion connection guren created as child making see that the reality wasn't how he think it was as child, he even realized that was a childhood thing and he was naive. Guren sees her as his childhood friend, but he does not show to be in love, also the first thing that saito tells guren is that he is in love and is strong for her, to which guren immediately rejects that and even when she appears guren rejects her more than once without doubt.
Why do I say that guren was never in love, and his relationship with mahiru was nothing more than abuse, control and destruction? Because drive guren more and more to madness to the point that he lost all sense of self so much that he could no longer see himself realistically anymore.
Guren shouldn't be romanticized in catastrophe at 16 with Mahiru saying that he was in love when in reality he was being forced to love and protect a completely destructive and toxic person to the point of wanting to destroy everything that Guren truly valued and truly loved.
His interaction with mahiru is nothing more than destructive, not love, he was too pressure for her that in more than one occasion he did not want to get involved with her, and even refuses to be like her and follow her orders, because he knew that she was problematic. In more than once, he wants to keep her away from him, he did not want to know anything about her, and he even began to realize that getting involved with her would make him regret later, guren was mentally healthy with his friends, his family but every time guren got involved with her, or even every time she was mentioned guren shows many signs of being a victim of abuse by mahiru, not of being in love when is far away from be it, guren feel depressed and useless just by being close to her, even as a child Guren begins to interact, not with a girl as she should be at her age, but with an illusion, Guren creates a fantasy bond with her and there she begins to kill his innocence because guren begins to blame himself for not protecting her and carries great guilt and low self-esteem ever since, he begins to have a fantasy bond that offers an illusion of love which prevents real emotional contact and how he is a kid he have no idea of what is being in love he even idolized her so much, so when he grow up what he feels for her is caring bcs to him she was still the innocent girl he met and the victim of her family. Their interaction did nothing but destroy Guren and lead him to this day to be completely damaged and to do what he is doing simply for the fact of getting involved with her. Guren has no options, he can't just get rid of her. He can't achieve things of his own, would be great to him do that bcs he tried it, instead to follow her orders and executes her plan. But he has no option bcs he is not even owner of his body.
Guren demonstrates from the first moment he meets her, like an innocent child, is that the initial encounter and perception of him strongly influenced his developing relationship with Mahiru. If guren had understood from the beginning that she was not who she seemed to be, and that she was simply hiding behind a facade of what she appeared to be, then guren would have been more cautious about getting involved with her. But guren showed his personality, sensitivities, emotional sensitivity and, above all, conscience, something that a person as manipulative, controlling and forcing, since she was a child, like mahiru, saw and took advantage of, knowing that with those possibilities she could hook guren to get involved with her because he was a kind, sentimental and affectionate child and, of course, because he wanted to help her. Mahiru was initially interested in his kindness, and often praised him for the wonderful child that he was. But that praise for those qualities was minimized because she was using him in the service of someone who didn't really care about him. She really only cared about what he could do for her.
All this gets even worse when he sees her again at school which, you can see a guren who feels incompetent, does not smile, or feel happy every time he sees her and talks to her even before mahiru started to murder and drag guren to madness, guren never shows signs of feeling good or happy when she is around him or talks to her, always doubts and feels like trash, vulnerable .Guren does nothing but want to help her, he feels responsible and attached to her, throughout the novel Guren does nothing but please her, because he believes that that would make her feel better, he feel pity for her, so he think that do whatever she wants is gonna make her feel better she wanna to be hug, kiss and sleep with him bcs she ask all that, so guren does that, he even ask himself if do what he does with her is the right choice but is nothing romantic in all that with her, is just to pleased her, out of pity and bcs to him she was just a poor girl with many problems, so he wants to comfort her bcs maybe that help her. The only thing guren know for sure is that he wanted to help her and save her bcs he felt responsible for her, bcs he was weak as child and couldn't protect her so he tried to repair his weakness with her. But his feeling for her are not for love. Even on resurrection guren was able to realize that it wasn't his fault all what mahiru did, (playing the victim role), but he was a victim of her and that he felt fear and knows he was being manipulate from her when he was a child. Guren is in pain bcs his friends were death not for mahiru, he was literally crazy in the end and he couldn't see the reality anymore, after she died guren back to not be manipulate and he not even care if she was death he just care for his friends and what he did to the world even that wasn't his fault but mahiru, because he was forced for her to do it.
What guren always loved the most was his dad, his family in aichi and his friends and he let that clear more than once. He let clear that bcs he slept with her that doesn't mean they are something else and have to take responsibility for that. Guren in all the novel show the opposite to be in love and wanted to be with her bcs he let that clear, even he rejected the offer from kureto to be with her. He loved mahiru as a childhood friend and want to saved her from darkness that is how guren see her after he woke up and was able to see that she wasn't what he thought she was. That she was nothing but a monster. So he had to learn all that by forced.
Every time guren talk to her, he feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative
She creates on him psychological weakness by undermining his's confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth
When guren involve with her, he is lead by fear, as a victim of emotional abuse often is, it cuts him off from the full experience of who he is. In other words, it diminishes his self-esteem and makes him doubt of himself, and then he give over his power.
She always twist his thoughts, actions, wants and desires into something that better suits how she sees the world and she mold him into someone that serves her own purposes.
She also tries and makes him believe that she's doing a better job of “loving him” so that he'll be more willing to set aside what he wants in order to feel like him “love her just as much.” It's a sick mind game.
When a person as guren, is being manipulated there is no room for love because it has been replaced with chaos. Wherever there is consistent confusion there can be no resolution, and therefore no love. This is the love guren feel toward her
She wasn't interested in loving him, she was interested in he loving her and conforming to her needs; then convincing him that this is love. She forced him and pushed guren to lover her.
Guren isn't confident enough to leave her, bcs to him she is a victim and an innocent one, so she thrive on keeping him down, bcs she constantly tries to isolate him by telling him that his friends and family are bad influences that doesn't let him to be strong so she threatened him to killed them so he can't leave and find something better.
The Unhealthy love here is a crap-shoot. The pace is fast, quickly dominating guren by moving him into the role of the subservient.
In reality, his emotional health, happiness, and self-worth was all going swiftly down the pan as a result of being with her in all the novel as child, teenager and even having 24.
Guren feel so guilty every time he is with her, that he start to feel constantly like he did something wrong. But that is the formula. The formula of emotional abuse is that he feel like he did something wrong. He feel like he is the problem. He feel like he's at fault, like he could do better.
Every time guren interact with her she always degrade his body. Tell him weak, too slow. He doesn't run fast enough to came and save her. That he is not strong enough. She make fun of his ability and power, call him names just to make fun of him. Making fun of his achievements, hopes and dreams
He feel depressed, anxious, unlovable, full of dread, feeling on edge all the time, or feeling like he is "crazy" and doubting what he knows.
He increased mental stress just to be around her
How she knows his weak spots, she use them to wound him. She makes comments and take actions that are meant to leave him feeling vulnerable and upset.
He feels constantly anxiety.
His self-confidence is compromised, which lead him to feelings of helplessness, shame, despair, as well as resentment, guilt, and disgust and even decline in self-care.
What's most damaging is that it takes away his ability to trust in himself and when that happens, he start to feeling crazy.
Guren question his own sanity and reality in the end of vol 7 to the point to not act like himself anymore he believed and internalize the lies she feed him. And, in turn, that affected how he view himself and his worth. He developed a huge mental disorder.
Guren cannot even heal his wounds or grow up as an individual by himself, when he has been abused by her for 19 years, which has done nothing but damage his mind, his body, his life and that of his family and a lot of people in general.
What i see in guren:
°A teenager and a man who care so much but he doesn't know how to express it with words with the people he loved the most.
°I always see him get hurt and tries to hide it, even so he can't shared so much how he is in pain for being abuse.
°I see people around him that doesn't understand him at all, only shinya is the most understanding with him.
°He always is fighting againts his traumas, his failures, his worse nightmares, his worse mistake, his past and present and how he never give up even if that hurts he always tries his best to stand up.
°I see him trying to achives things of his own terms but being pressure to go against his ideals and beliefs just to try to protect his family and save the world, he always tries to do the best he can, but is not enough, even so he tries.
° He was feeling guilty and remorse for so many years and seeking redemption, even so he think he doesn't deserve it, he think all is his fault, he is able to let others kill him for his acts and feel guilt, pain, remorse and he cries for that.
° He always tries to make amends, he knows and accepts he was wrong or made a huge mistake and how he regretted it but also how much he works hard to protect people he loved and people that need help.
° He still stick to his own ideas, he still has ideals, beliefs, and he would like to try others ways, even so he can't because his body and mind are being forced and abused to make other people agenda.
° He always is trying and trying for loved, family, friendship, companion and people who could need his help.
It is horrible to think that a single person can take your desires, your wishes, your beliefs, your ideals, your life and break it into a thousand pieces simply because there is no one more important than yourself, something that to guren and many others happened simply to get involved with a completely destructive and abusive person.
Unspeakable things happen to everyone, that does not mean that you can do whatever you want with others. Protection and love does not mean you should sticking around and screw with their life.
Guren is someone that is suffering all this and still is the same guren. He is strong and intelligent on his own right, the only thing in life that made guren being weak was meeting her and was his worse mistake and he repeat it more than once. And what always make guren strong was love and protect his family. Is what always make guren keep his sanity until now. Abuse don't do anything good to him.
Healthy love is what guren has with his family, always was fun, easy, joyful, open, relaxed, active and quiet. Each one of them, knows it is up to them what type of emotion, attitude and effort they bring into the dynamic with guren. In those healthy dynamics, consciously, guren, choose to focus on the positive qualities of the people he really love. When guren consciously focus on what he love about the others it makes loving them easier, and it makes it easier for all of them to love him. That is healthy to him, it always was.
@dulciasouls1 @ijustwannasomesleep @lottenoir to you girls that always help me. Hope you like it!
