Hand clutched. Eyes focused. Neck bent.
For the last hour I scrolled through all of my social media accounts.
I was bored and my eyes were red - I was missing something. I craved an authentic connection with the profiles I stared at.
Little did I know that day I would break free from the Matrix.
Being a 21 year old college graduate I was surrounded with the βkeeping-upβ cultureβββI knew something was wrong. The βkeeping upβ culture was all about knowing what movie my friends saw or what restaurant they ate at. It was about knowing what they had done but not about truly connecting with each other.
The βkeeping-upβ culture was rooted in insecurity. It was about showing the world everything youβre doing to flaunt every moment of your life. Suddenly, even eating a meal out could become a status symbol that you were ahead in life. Nobody wanted to fall behind from their friends so they just kept diving deeper into the Matrix.
The βkeeping-upβ culture made life seem better than it really was. But it was unhealthy and destructive.
As a hyper extrovert who talks to people for hours about anything and everything, I genuinely wanted to keep up with friends and the people I love on a consistent basis.
But that didnβt happen in the social media Matrix, it happened in real life- face to face. Staying connected with friends only happened when friendships moved passed shallow conversations and into real moments and talks that were deep, meaningful and challenging.
Thankfully throughout my young life I had many wiser people give me profound life advice about staying connected to loved ones.
What they all told me was βStay connected to the people you love. Get out of your way to stay connected. If you care about them, donβt let the relationship fade.β
On that day, something clicked in my mind. All of the wise words passed onto me finally made sense.
I checked social media because I thought I was missing out on something. I didnβt understand what βkeeping-upβ culture was until I realized I was living and breathing it.
But I had the peace of knowing that I wasnβt behind in lifeβββwhether it be my relationships or my career. I didnβt need to stay up-to-date with my friends livesββββI just needed to pay attention to own.
The social media Matrix promises to connect people. And it doesβ¦ but it doesnβt do it well. It doesnβt connect people in the way we were supposed to be connected, with face to face conversations experiencing peopleβs unique nature. The social media Matrix only connects us to a profileβββa piece to another human being, not their real self.
So as I stared at my news feed for the last time, I asked myself, βWhatβs stopping me from disconnecting from social media?β
The answer gave me shudders.
Absolutely nothing stopped me from escaping the social media Matrix.
So I plotted my escape. I found a variety of tools and tips that helped me escape and reconnect with the people I love in my life.
I found a Facebook newsfeed eradicator that has done wonders for me. I limited Instagram notifications on my phone and logged out every time I finished using the app. I even deleted the Facebook app from my phone. Most importantly I reached out and reconnected with the people I love on a deeper level and more intimate level.
I escaped the Matrix and became connected with reality.
It wasnβt the reality that everyone else painted. When I first looked at the real world, the sun was a little too bright for my eyes. It hurt to look atβββbut it was real and beautiful.
Over the last few days, Iβve reflected on who and what really mattersβββmy friends and family. I had life changing conversations that were real and powerful. We laughed and even cried about how life didnβt go according to plan. Even though these honest conversations about our lives wasnβt prettyβββit was real. Our relationships truly began to mean something.
On a fateful December day I realized a true social life was not about keeping up with people. It wasnβt about knowing their latest happenings, who theyβve been dating, or what theyβve been eating. Living a real life was about enjoying real conversations and real moments while being deeply connected with the people I loved. I pray I will never forget the people I cherish till the day I die.
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