Sexual Roles in the Kink/Fetish World
DOMINANT: like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are dominant only in the bedroom, others are dominant through out their daily lives as well (usually with limitations). Unlike the top roles (giving pain/bondage/degradation), being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that come with it) than about the content of what happens. Dominants typically pair up with submissives.
MISTRESS/MASTER: receive complete control over the life of their slave(S), and all responsibilities that come with it. They go a step further than dominants in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as during their office jobs). Their primary focus is to create a stable and safe environment for their slave(s), to allow optimal servitude. Mistresses/Masters typically pair up with slaves.
RIGGER: (bondage givers) like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreaders…). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art, or just for fun, they enjoy having their partners completely at their mercy. Bondage givers typically pair up with rope bunnies.
OWNER: own and takes responsibility over a pet, on a 24/7 basis,. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. Often provides in animal role play attributes (e.g. puts pet in cage) but not necessarily. Owners typically pair up with pets.
DEGRADER: (degradation givers) like to degrade and humiliate their play partner(s), either by acting upon them in a degrading way, or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading,. Contest hereby is always assumed. Degradation givers typically pair up with degradees.
VOYEUR: Voyeurs enjoy watching the nakedness or sexual activity of other people. Definitions vary with respect to whether those being watched should be aware of this, or not. Voyeurs typically pair up with exhibitionists.
SADIST: enjoy inflicting (certain types of) pain on their partner(s), usually in a sexual context. Consent hereby is always assumed. Sadists typically pair up with masochists.
PRIMAL (HUNTER): are mainly focused on the natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. The key part for primal play is that the participants show their raw, emotional, sexual feelings during play. All o the labels, roles, and protocols go out of the window, and the prey can become a snarling, growling, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from it’s predator. Hunters typically pair up with primal preys.
BRAT TAMER: are, in essence, dominants who enjoy handling bratty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness from the side of the submissive, rather than a form of rudeness. They will take no offence to it, but will still teach the sub a well deserved lesson (because, of course, that is why the bratty sub shows such behavior in the first place.) Brat Tamers typically pair up with brats.
DADDY/MOMMY: take on a caretaker role in the relationship, being a guide as much as a dominant. Daddies/Mommies dominate their little treasure submissives with an iron fist in a velvet glove; much more cuddly and affectionate on the outside, while being as sturdy and hard on the inside as other dominants. Using subtle psychological mechanisms rather than brute power, they nurture their littles into obedience. Daddies/Mommies typically pair up with girls/boys.
EXPERIMENTALIST: want to have tried it all. An open mind and an insatiable curiosity are their key features, and they will rarely form an opinion before they have gathered first hand experience. They often have plenty of fantasies and will actively pursue to try them out. Experimentalists typically pair up with other experimentalists.
AGE PLAYER: they like to play with age as part of their kink. They typically take on a much younger or older age than they actually are, or prefer playing with a partner that does so. Attributes and behavior changes (such as pacifiers, coloring books, speaking in more child like language…) are commonly paired with theirs, to enrich the context and make it more appropriate for the played age. Age Players typically pair up with other age players.
EXHIBITIONIST: they enjoy showing their naked body or a sexual activity to other people. Definitions vary with respect to whether those being shown this, should be looking for such encounter or not. Exhibitionists typically pair up with voyeurs.
NON-MONOGAMIST: they do not see sexuality as necessarily a 1 on 1 thing. Whether this means they will have several relationships or just see other people outside their relationship (or have even more exquisite constructions) depends entirely on the person and the situation, but they all have one thing in common: their sexuality is more than just between them and one fixed partner. Non-monogamists typically pair up with (several) other non-monogamists.
SWITCH: switches like to…. well, switch. Always taking a dominant or top position is not for them, neither is always taking a submissive or bottom position. Some prefer to switch with the same partner or partners, others have a dominant play partner and a submissive play partner, but in either case they do not fit on one end point of play partner, but in either case they do not fit on one end point of the spectrum. Switches typically pair up with other switches.
VANILLA: these are the people who enjoy regular, standard sex and relationship models. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re having fun! Vanillas typically pair up with other vanillas.
GIRL/BOY: Littles (girls/boys) are submissive spirits that mix childlike innocence with naughty sexual curiosity. They long for a nurturing loving dominant who plays a guiding, almost parental role in their lives. While they require a softer approach to be dominated than most other submissives, their submission can go a lot deeper and sometimes rivals those of slaves.
BRAT: brats are, in essence, naughty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness rather than letting their dominant down, and require a compatible dominant who will only teach them a lesson, but also accept that any number of lessons might still not necessarily change this behavior.
MASOCHIST: Masochists enjoy receiving (certain types of) pain from their partner(s), usually in a sexual context, Masochism is independent of pain tolerance: it is purely about the ability to enjoy certain levels of pain.
ROPE BUNNY: (bondage receivers) like to be tied up and restrained, using rope and/or other attributes (chains,cuffs, spreaders) , whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy being totally at the mercy of their partner(s).
PET: properties are, well, property of their owner in daily life. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. Often combined with some sort of animal role play (puppy. kitten, etc) but not necessarily.
PRIMAL (PREY): are mainly focused on the natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. The key part for primal play is that the participants show their raw, emotional, sexual feelings during play. All o the labels, roles, and protocols go out of the window, and the prey can become a snarling, growling, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from it’s predator.
SUBMISSIVE: Some like to follow. Some like to give their control away to their partner(s), some like to have it forcibly taken from them. Some are submissive only in the bedroom, others are submissive throughout their daily life as well (usually with limitations). Unlike the bottom roles (receiving pain/ bondage/ degradation), being submissive is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.
DEGRADEE: (degradation receivers) like to be degraded and humiliated by their play partner(s), either by being acted upon in a degrading way; or by being forced to do things they consider degrading.
SLAVE: slaves completely hand over the control and responsibilities over their life to their masters/mistress. They go a step further than submissives in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as during their office jobs). Serving their master/mistress is their primary focus in life and they rarely have limits for them.
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