❝ No, we are. I mean, Asgard is ━ was ━ is; it's not the... ❞ Loki trailed off, the words catching in his throat as he tried so hard not to sound too defensive of the people who had never really accepted him, but even if that hadn't been the case, it was an uncomfortable topic of conversation that he had not really wanted to be part of.
He shifted, rolling back to face the Grandmaster, the rigid line of his shoulders finally surrendering to something softer, something almost vulnerable. ❝ It is not sex between men that is the problem, not entirely. It is far more complex ━ or far more pathetic than that. ❞
He paused, his gaze flickering away, fixing temporarily on a point somewhere in the dim light beyond the bed. Asgard was a warrior's society. It had always centred strength and virility, two things Loki lacked, particularly in the way Asgard valued them, and though Loki knew well enough what primitive bullshit this actually was, Loki's opinions, as he had spent his entire life learning, meant very little to Asgard.
❝ It isn't about who it is done with. It is about what is done, to whom. And Thor, he... ❞ A sigh, sharp and frustrated. ❝ He doesn't mind that I am bisexual. It's just... When people touch me. My role. The one I often play. It is considered a thing of shame, and my brother does not want that for me, and the Norns know, he has never been particularly good about other people touching his things ━ a vexing classification he considers me, as his slightly younger brother, to be within. ❞
Thor's protectiveness, his ferocious, suffocating, well-meaning protectiveness, generated feelings of fond appreciation and venomous annoyance within him at all times. The way he had glowered at Loki's lovers, had postured and threatened, even outright ended, making it abundantly clear that anyone who so much as wished to touch his little brother in that way, in the wrong way, in the shameful way, would answer to Mjolnir.
As if Loki were a thing to be guarded. As if Loki's choices, Loki's pleasures, Loki's body, were somehow Thor's to protect. ❝ He does not want me to degrade myself, ❞ Loki continued, his voice flattening, the mask of sardonic detachment sliding back into place. ❝ As if I am incapable of not doing so. As if I am some blushing maiden who requires his protection from the big, bad men who would do terrible, improper things to me, because it is forbidden that I should ever like them. ❞ His eyes did roll then, sheer exasperation, embarrassed annoyance gripping him whole. ❝ It's complicated, and It's ridiculous; you are right, and I don't particularly want to talk about it. ❞
He moved then, decisively, closing the small distance between them with the fluid, serpentine grace he possessed as he pressed himself against the Grandmaster's side, one long leg sliding between the Elder's, his head finding its place against his shoulder where it had been after their more passionate dealings earlier in the evening. It was an easy, comfortable intimacy that Loki knew to be rare, but had only allowed himself to phase in his subconscious thus far.
❝ You have heard plenty about me and Asgard, and its tedious provincialisms.❞ He said, quieter now, the deflection gentle but firm. ❝ More than enough for one evening. I would hear more about you. About your brothers. The other Elders. ❞ He paused, for just a moment, settling into the warm comfort of the Grandmaster's chest once more. ❝ Tell me, Grandmaster. Tell me of Taneleer and his trinkets, of the Champion and his fury, of the Runner who never stays, the Gardener and his eternal patience. Tell me how you became what you are. What any of you are.❞ A small, almost vulnerable smile found itself against his lips, though this was little more than coy seduction ❝ I find I am... curious. About you. In ways I do not fully understand. ❞
Not entirely true; no, Loki understood. It was the old habit of his, the one that gathered information and stored it away in the vast archive of his sharp mind, should he ever find himself having use of it, and oh, so often, he found himself having use of it. And maybe. Maybe he just wanted to know more, entirely without an ulterior motive, because The Grandmaster, in his weird and wonderful way, understood him in a way his brother hadn't. Couldn't. Not from malice, no, it wasn't that from Thor; it was simply because he was naturally incapable of understanding the architecture of Loki's resentments, the loneliness of being the shadow cast by too much light and of living in a world tailored so specifically to reject everything that he was or ever could be.