Helix Snake

your favorite skate 3 glitch wizard's shitpost account

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[helixsnake]

What executive dysfunction looks like

A few facts:

I have needed something to snack on when hungry between meals.

I usually get potato chips. I don't like using them for this purpose but I know where they are at the store. They make me feel sick after because they're not very healthy. I needed to find something else to snack on.

I've tried nuts but nuts being so high in protein and fat means that eating enough to fill me up will also make me feel sick-ish. Also no fiber.

I have a complex relationship with fresh fruit so I don't tend to buy it (this is too complicated for me to go into so just roll with it)

It has taken me as long as I've lived by myself, to combine the following facts:

I like bread (even the 12 grain stupid healthy stuff most people don't like)

Due to my autistic superpowers I enjoy eating bread by itself or just with butter

Bread comes pre sliced so it takes almost no effort to eat bread

All grocery stores have bread

into

"If I go to the store and actually look for the bread section I'll find it and then I can eat bread whenever I want"

The bread section is off to the side from all the other sections I usually go to, and the mere fact that it never entered my peripheral vision meant it never occurred to me that the store even had bread.

Amount of time spent living by myself without eating bread even though I like it and have easy access to it?

7 years.

[helixsnake]

thinking about the episode of superman TAS where he dressed up as batman

and it worked because they both have the same giant stupid square chin

this but with a mask on and gotham's villains couldn't tell the difference

[helixsnake]

I'm so adhd

I'm subtracht

[helixsnake]

"There's a hole at the bottom of the sea" is a sad song

the ocean is going to drain away and all the fish are gonna die but first that frog on the bump on the log is gonna drown :(

[toskarin]

I'm well and truly beyond repair. a vehicle is making a really annoying drone sound outside and I keep laughing at it because it sounds like… every way I can think of to describe the video makes me sound insane

it's the yo mama joke video edit where it's tuned to what seems to be an air raid siren and it keeps changing the punchline of every joke to xbox live

[toskarin]

THIS

[helixsnake]

The true test of "are you a 90s kid" was do you remember a time were this character made sense

This is a character from Leisure Suit Larry who wants to get liposuction because she's self conscious that men will find her unattractive for her tiny waist and Giant Pixar Mom Ass

This is not played as a joke like "haha men totally are into that she's crazy" this was actually considered conventionally unattractive when this game was made

[helixsnake]

Serotonin dreams last night

last night I had a dream I got to give pets and chin rubs and paw holds to a raptor and it filled me with serotonin

and later I dreamt I got to pet a lioness and she rubbed up against me and purred and filled me with serotonin

and later I dreamt I got jumpscared by a skeleton and it gave me a dr pepper and filled me with serotonin (???????)

I don't understand the last one at all, in the dream my reaction was "wow a dr pepper thanks skeleton I can't believe this skeleton was so friendly" and somehow I got an amount of warm fuzzy feelings comparable to the other two moments

[helixsnake]

[depsidase]

[helixsnake]

Cartoons with dinosaur people trying to make the earth hotter

A streamer I was watching watched some random episode of Extreme Dinosaurs and the villains were trying to use a weapon that destroys the ozone layer to make the earth hotter and more suitable for dinosaurs

Ozone is a greenhouse gas and removing the ozone layer makes the earth colder. Sunburn is not caused by the sun being hot it's caused by UV radiation which the ozone layer blocks.

There's also an episode of Batman Beyond where a cult is turning themselves into dino men and said cult wants to explode a super volcano in order to make the earth hotter and more suitable for dinosaurs.

Super volcano explosions in Earth's natural history are followed by long periods of cold weather due to the amount of ash being launched into the upper atmosphere and blocking sunlight. This was one of the theories of what made the dinosaurs extinct in the first place before we settled on the asteroid.

How are dino people so bad at making the earth hotter, us humans are doing it by accident.

[helixsnake]

"And if he succeeds, he'll destroy the Declaration."

Full quote:

Ian's gonna try and steal it. And if he succeeds, he'll destroy the Declaration. - Benjamin Franklin Gates

This line from National treasure is written and read so bizarrely. I assume the meaning is "he won't be as careful with his chemical test and destroy the historical artifact that is the Declaration" but if that was the meaning "he'll destroy it" would sound much more natural.

The only meaning that makes any sense with being worded and read that way is "The very spirit of declaring independence from Britain in 1776 will be destroyed if a person with a British accent gets the treasure"

[helixsnake]

Had a dream about a cursed flavor combination

I had a dream I went to some sports thing with my dad and for some reason he brought Gatorade Cool Blue, Orange Fanta and condensed milk and mixed them all together to make some kind of insane milkshake. I have no idea what this would taste like, anyone want to try it?

(addendum : I have not tried this because I don't drink soda or sugary drinks and I don't want to have to throw away the ingredients after tasting it)

[backsack]

here comes the airplane

[andre-moraph]

[darrylayo]

[ur-daily-inspiration]