Untitled

I'm never gonna have the spoons to set up this blog.

[skimbly-shanks]

Yall do NOT hop on a cosmetic surgery hate train during an ongoing campaign against trans Healthcare I am fucking begging

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My tits didn't smaller themselves, fuckos. Either you believe in bodily autonomy or you fucking don't.

[14th-st-soapbox]

The sacred bond between trans people who've had plastics and cis people who have had plastics is fucking sacred and I will not tolerate anybody in the queer community trash-talking plastics no matter what it is and who is getting them and for what reason!!!

I want there to not be a line between 'costmetic' and 'necessary'. If there's a line, then insurance companies and whoever-the-fuck-else will decide everything is 'cosmetic'. That happened to me with getting my jaw rebuilt when I was A CHILD. 'oh it's cosmetic' My insurance wrangler lady and the surgeon had to write SEVERAL LETTERS to the damn insurance company detailing out just how graphically I would DIE if I did not get my face rebuilt before I was 18! If 'we won't pay for cosmetic plastics only necessary ones' wasn't a thing, that wouldn't have had to fucking happen!

So you know what? I don't want to hear the word 'cosmetic' out of anyone's mouth. it's ALL just plastics. And all plastics are still 100% the person's choice to get, I don't care what the reason is, all reasons are your business and should be honoured and that's as it should be. As Sweaterkittens said, you either believe in bodily autonomy or you fucking don't.

Signed,

A Transman who has had exclusively plastics for all FOUR major surgeries throughout his life.

[guildenstern]

botox, which is also maligned in a similar way is used extensively for the treatment of chronic pain and muscular disorders! two very common uses are to treat migraines and bruxism or tmj disorder with injections into muscles of the head including the frontalis, the procerus, the corrugator supercili and the masseter - and all of these medically necessary applications were discovered due to people seeking botox from those who perform it for "forehead wrinkles" and "frown lines" and finding it also helped with their pain. with masseter injections in particular virtually everyone who has had this "jaw slimming" procedure talks at length about the fact that it helps with their jaw aching. the pressure to avoid signs of aging is of course deeply harmful but you can't know someone's reason for getting this treatment, and seeking it from a plastic surgeon can be significantly more accessible than getting a diagnosis and treatment from a specialist

[leepacey]

two very related articles

[mini-wrants]

If you ever needed a reason to not wear makeup (or at LEAST cut back on it significantly) this is it.

Most of your shimmery makeups are made using Mica. Mica is often mined by young children the same way the original coal miners put kids in the tiny tunnels for coal.

These kids make pennies a day, if that, and are subject to dangerous conditions.

All for the glitter in our eyeshadows and highlighters.

[leepacey]

most companies, even ones part of the ethical mica initiative, don’t know where their mica comes from and have no way of proving it for sure, because the bosses at these mines are known for using child labor on the side and then they tell their international clients like “yeah totally, only adults we paid fairly mined all this ;)” and then these big international companies can play dumb and be like “the mine bosses pinky promised us it’s all ethical!” when there is no way to prove it, no way of regulating it, and it’s been this specific recurring problem for years

so, here are the companies that use ONLY synthetic mica made in labs instead — this includes makeup brands as well as any company that has shimmery/glittery products:

black moon cosmetics – also 100% vegan across all products

hurraw! balm – also 100% vegan across all products

jane iredale

LUSH and all of their bath bombs!

river organics – also 100% vegan across all products

woosh beauty

additionally: mica that is mined can sometimes be contaminated with asbestos, while synthetic mica is made from plant cellulose. synthetic lab-made mica also has a more consistent texture and makes colors more vibrant than mined mica can.

so basically: synthetic mica is safer, purer, plant-based, a superior product, AND not mined by child slaves — the literal only downside is that it’s slightly more expensive for cheap ass companies who care more about profits than humans

[hell-blob]

"autistic asexual people exist so its not inherently ableist to headcanon autistic characters as ace" and "autistic people are constantly infantilized and headcanoning all autistic characters as ace can perpetuate that" are thoughts that can and should coexist

allistics and allos can reblog but dont start making a fool of yourself

[residentdork]

Hey but like as an asexual person just to be clear are you implying that being asexual is "infantilizing"???

[hell-blob]

no, I just worded the original post kinda poorly. i did clarify in a reblog later and have reblogged other people talking about that as well but the version of the post going around doesn't have those additions. I can tag you in them if you'd like.

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

imposter syndrome in autism is so….. im rotating it in my mind

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

part of the reason people go years without knowing theyre autistic because they dont “act” autistic in front of other people is because theyve been so conditioned to repress their symptoms that they become unobservable, sometimes even to themselves. this is masking. its not a light switch that can be turned on and off again. its the gradual repression and punishment for acting anything but neurotypical and the construction of a new, more socially acceptable identity.

as time goes on and your most ‘offensive’ symptoms are ‘under control’ the only things that remain are the ones that only hurt you and the exhaustion. you cant even unwind fully in private because of the fear of being ‘wrong’. the reason so many autistic people struggle with identity is because we’ve literally been forced to abandon who we are at a core level and make one to appease the world. forced to act completely against our nature in order to… act more ‘natural’.

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

the worst part of this is that theres no winning. you either show your symptoms/get diagnosed and face belittlement, infantilization, restrictions of freedom, or you mask, you hide away, and receive no support because no one believes you. no one understands how, when externally you SEEM so ‘competant’, you could be suffering so constantly. you either set yourself ablaze for the world to observe or spend the rest of your life tending burns no one else can see.

[hell-blob]

"autistic asexual people exist so its not inherently ableist to headcanon autistic characters as ace" and "autistic people are constantly infantilized and headcanoning all autistic characters as ace can perpetuate that" are thoughts that can and should coexist

allistics and allos can reblog but dont start making a fool of yourself

[hell-blob]

another thing about this: most of the time when someone says headcanoning autistic characters as ace is always ableist theyre allistic. and like. of course they are.

[hell-blob]

if I see one more post saying the difference between conservatives and leftisist is that leftisist have empathy i am actually going to lose my last remaining marble.

people with low or fluctuating levels of empathy exists! people with no empathy exist! the only thing knowing that about someone tells you is that they don't have a "typical" experience with empathy!!!!!!! cut your fucking ableist bullshit out or else you owe everyone with low/no empathy $3,000 cash

[blueberry-anxiety-muffin]

[thatgirlwithadhd]

I know this is probably a joke/exaggeration, but:

Adults with ADHD tell stories of missing meetings or deadlines because they got so absorbed in something that they lost track of time. In one extraordinary case history, cited by Nadeau, a woman with ADHD was so focused on a project that she failed to notice that her house had caught fire. “It was only when firemen came through the house, searching for anyone left inside, that she looked up and realized what was going on,” says Nadeau. (x)

[adhd-community]

I feel this on a spiritual level.

[ndragoon]

I wonder if this is why some experience the whole “I’ve only got 2 hours until I head out, guess I can’t do anything” thing. Because they know if they start something, they won’t stop and they’ll be late

[madamonsieur-silvrene]

YES! Because we’ve had at least one occasion where we’ve given into temptation and it has backfired on us spectacularly!

[surohsopsisofclouds]

Yyeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,

[xeptum]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CI5to_1n5gB/?igshid=1m0pg4ytpw442

[kitschie]

i genuinely hate when people will make a long post and then put a tl;dr at the bottom that just says “go back and read the fucking post it’s not that long” LIKE,,,,,, TL;DRs ARE ACCESSIBILITY RESOURCES YOU ASSHOLES???? LITERALLY IN THE SAME VEIN AS IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS??????? you HONESTLY do not have to be such a fucking dick about it that you would take an accessibility resource and then twist it just so you can be passive aggressive, honey your neurotypical is showing

[kitschie]

taking a tl;dr and instead of summarizing the post you use it to say “just read the fucking post it’s not that hard” is exactly the same as taking an image description and instead of describing the image you say “go look at the picture and use your eyeballs dumbass” actually

[kitschie]

i get that things like racism and antisemitism and lgbt+phobia and exclusionism and terf rhetoric and all that are very important topics. i get that they need to be talked about. what i DON’T get is how you feel the need to be ableist when talking about these things.

people with things like adhd and dyslexia genuinely find it difficult to read your five paragraph PSA. people who are still learning your language will find it difficult to read your post. tl;drs genuinely help these people. keep that in mind. if you want to spread the message consider EVERYONE who might want to read it.

tl;dr: don’t fucking use an accessibilty resource to be passive aggressive to people just because you’re mad about the thing you’re talking about.

[kitschie]

i think it would be pretty fucking poggers of yall if you could reblog this actually i’d like this post to reach the people i’ve seen using tl;drs like that

[technoskittles]

I keep forgetting that NT people don’t do math the same way people with ADHD do it until I try to explain my thought process and get weird looks from people who are like “how the FUCK did you do that?”

whoops

[technoskittles]

and for those of you who DON’T know what I’m talking about I’ll give you an example

42 + 29 = 71

for neurotypical people, they use the method we were all taught in grade school where you add 9 + 2 to get 11 and then move the extra one over to make 4 + 2 + 1 which equals 7 to give you 71

but the way I do it (as many other people with ADHD as I’ve come to find out) is this:

okay so you have 42 + 29. if you take 1 away from 42 and give it to 29 to make it an even 30, you now have 41 + 30 which is an easy 71

or, another problem: 53 + 88

round that 88 up to 90 and take the two from 53 so you have 51 + 90. but wait I can make this easier. take 10 more from 51 to make 90, 100 and now you have 41 + 100 which equals 141

it’s just…so much faster? and makes so much more sense to me

[technoskittles]

also? the math teachers that always took off points for kids not showing their work?

fucking HATED that. as someone who could get from point A to point D in my head in a split second, I felt like showing my work was often a waste of time when sometimes it felt like I just automatically knew the answer

or, if I did put down my work, I went through a process that wasn’t taught and would get points reduced anyway because it wasn’t the way we were taught just because my brain worked differently than the rest of the class. my answer was always right. they just didn’t like how I got it

never did like that much 

[technoskittles]

also, this is another way of doing it that I just saw on facebook that I’ve also done before

because I do things to that extent too

so if you give me something like 37 + 45 I’ll go “well 30 + 40 is 70 and 7 + 5 is 12 so 70 + 12 is 82″

there’s just…so many ways to do math that make more sense than the way I was taught

[technoskittles]

this post got a lot more popular than I was expecting wow

I’ve seen some people reblogging this saying they don’t have adhd but have autism and yes! People with autism do this too! I’ve learned that a lot of people with adhd and/or autism do things that overlap and this is one of them!

[technoskittles]

i’m sorry but these are the only valid tags on this post

[dnd-apothecary]

I do something similar but in terms of money because for some reason money makes it easier for me to grasp in terms so like, i round everything up to the next quarter (25) for me to process 

37+45 = okay so if i add 5 to 45 that makes 50, 50+37 = 87 minus the 5 i took, so 82. 

i never did like math. 

[youngqueerwitch]

I think, I think one of the worst things about realizing you’ve been abused is the actual realization. Slowly learning what’s normal and what isn’t. Having it smack you in the face that “oh god that wasn’t normal that’s not normal all” and it’s just this horrifying realization

And it gets worse. You remember more trauma. You remember more of the hell they put you through. You wonder how they still think they did nothing wrong?

You doubt. You refuse to doubt. You panic. You become this mess of “is this real” and “I know this is real” and “I don’t want this to be real”

[abusivechildhood]

omg. that’s it.

[hell-blob]

"autistic asexual people exist so its not inherently ableist to headcanon autistic characters as ace" and "autistic people are constantly infantilized and headcanoning all autistic characters as ace can perpetuate that" are thoughts that can and should coexist

allistics and allos can reblog but dont start making a fool of yourself

[alagaisia]

Can these coexist with a third thought, “the fact that asexuality is infantilized or viewed as an infantilizing trait is also problematic, and people who are asexual are not inherently childish, naive, or immature, and deserve to be taken just as seriously as other adults”

Obviously this is a stereotype that affects people’s perceptions of ace people and ace headcanons and its existence should be taken into account in these situations! But it’s also inaccurate and annoying and it sucks and if you’re someone who views autism and asexuality both as inherently childish traits and that’s your reason for tying them together in headcanons, you should probably work on that.

[hell-blob]

^^^^

I tried to get this point across in a different reblog, but I think this person phrases is it really well.

The problem isn't in thinking of characters as autistic and ace; it's in thinking of them as autistic and ace because they've got the same overlapping misconception of being childish.

[hell-blob]

in case you've ever wondered what having adhd is like, I bought myself a pair of earbuds while I was at work today because I lost mine, put the new ones in my sweatshirt pouch, and when I went to pull them out I pulled out the "lost" ones

[consultingfujoshi]

ah yes, the rare and elusive ADHD mood of "I have five different things that I want to do that I've been thinking about doing all day but I can't do them all at once so instead of just picking one I'm going to do none of them and just sit and sulk about how I'm not doing any of the things I want to be doing right now"

[the-pigeon-king]

Rare and elusive? Inaccurate. It's way too common.

[maximumsunshine]

You assign each one a number. Then you run a random number generator. Whatever number it lands on is the thing you do.

[angrylittlesliceofpizza]

… oh

[jenndoesnotcare]

Helpful house and life resources for ADHD peeps, in case that is a struggle for anyone:

-Organization Solutions for People With ADHD by Susan C Pinsky (love this book and highly recommend it - it’s especially excellent for setting up a home if you’re just moving out!)

-Unf***k Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman (also an app!) (this one is for the depression and anxiety comorbids — I’m right there with you, I am also a triple threat lol)

-Delivered From Distraction - Ned Halliwell (actually almost everything he writes is helpful because he is a psych who has ADHD and helps diagnose & treat it in adults as well as in kids)

[c-ptsdrecovery]

(Seen on FB)

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE. 

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

“What are you struggling with?” he asked.

I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”

Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”

I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.

I wanted to have something more substantial.

Something more profound.

But I didn’t.

So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?

But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:

“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”

I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.

“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”

It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

THERE ARE NO RULES.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

(by Kate Scott 2018)

[merrybitchmas91-deactivated2019]

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

[lovelyplot]

This would’ve been great an hour ago

[h0lyhandgrenade]

This is good advice for anxious peeps and peeps with anxious friends. Seems obvious now but I hadn’t thought about it this way before.

[cinnamonhoney-tea-moved]

I’m about to sound like an ad but I’ve found that using duolingo is actually really useful too, I mean, i know not everyone finds it to be enjoyable/something they can do for longer than five minutes but it requires me to think and I am also doing something which I can’t get bored of fast

Sudoku is also good as mentioned above and for reading, you should read something you really like because I always feel bad if I space out when reading my fav books because I missed a moment I really like, so get your fav book and read it because it is very affective (for me at least)

Try learning a new skill, if I’m feeling anxious, I will try to do something (like type) with my left hand because it’s not dominant, this requires me to actually focus on using my left hand so I don’t have thinking space + I am making my left hand more useful which is always good, if you have shit sight like me, try reading with one of your eyes closed, you’re helping your vision improve and distracting yourself because this is seriously difficult if you have bad vision

[cinnamonhoney-tea-moved]

And colouring can be something that you have to focus on, it depends on the person really, but I find trying to colour within really small lines is really helpful because it requires a lot of focus, drawing complex things is also good, for ppl who don’t draw regularly too

Memorising things can also work, find something, like equations for example, and memorise them

Obvs, not going to help every single person because different things work for different people but still useful

[cinnamonhoney-tea-moved]

Also!! Studying but studying things you care about, I can spend ages learning all of the synonyms for some random word, Wikipedia or name sites are especially good for this purpose

Try changing your handwriting if you don’t like it, I have slowly changed the way I write letters and it requires a lot of focus because you will automatically write them so you have to stop and force your hand to learn how to write in a new way, I also write or read in Cyrillic because I’m not very good at it, so if you have a way of writing or reading you’re not very good at, you can practise that too

[advanced-procrastination]

I find strategy/tactics games like Fire Emblem to be best, particularly bc i’m a strict planner/micromanager so even the “boring” parts like inventory management and reclassing distract me completely and totally from my anxiety.

Anyway, I feel like this completely 100% accurate description of anxiety needs to be reiterated:

“When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes.”

[morby]

@watching-the-fire-dance

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Audiobooks are a godsend for

My anxiety AND executive dysfunction.

That shit is magic.

[hell-blob]

hot take about autistic representation: if autism speaks supports the thing in any capacity before, during, or after its production, you probably did it wrong