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[minionspamoreph]

[daily-bad-jokes]

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!”, he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

[quotspot]

Much of our life is spent wishing others understood us better than they do. — Gordon Allport

(via quotspot)

[hellboundmom-blog]

Why does everybody feel like they need to write lists for everything? It seems like I come across these articles everywhere! Some I do read because I find interesting, others, I just want to punch the author in the throat. 37 things not to say to a new parent, 191 things I let my kids do to annoy other people, 11,375 things that offend me. So to express my frustration and hatred of these articles/lists, I will occasionally post any that I find truly hellish. The first one... Apparently, if you tell a parent that they must have their hands full because they have kids is grounds for imprisonment. I guess you're supposed to reply with "You should see our hearts." That just makes me want to throw up. Well, you know what? Parenting is tiring and busy no matter how many kids you have. So shut the hell up and stop trying to act like parenting is so magical and not difficult. And I'm not even going to touch the stupid number these people come up with, like 7 or 19. Make it an even number damn it!