“Good morning to you too, princess.” Azriel says. “Don't call me that.” You say, voice filling with anger at the condescending pet name. “What are you going to do about it?” He teases, an annoying smirk pulling at his lips. “Do it again and find out.” You threaten. “Good to see you still have some fight left in you. Too bad you didn't-” Azriel's words are cut short when the sharp pain from a dagger slices his bicep. He stares at you temporarily stunned before regaining his composure and moving to disarm you.
You barely make it out of his reach keeping the dagger trained on him. “Call your high lord to take me home now!” You demand, not wanting to be wherever here is any longer. “Since when do you refer to Rhys as High Lord?” Azriel asks. “Since you felt the need to kidnap me and bring me wherever this is.” You say, letting all the hurt and anger from the years build up. “You were unconscious and on the verge of death! We have the best healer and bringing you here was our only chance at saving you!” Azriel yells. “Would you rather we just let you die on the floor of that shitty house?!” He continues.
“Yes! That's exactly what I wanted, what I prayed for day after day!” You shout, unable to control your anger any longer. You scoff when Azriel has the audacity to look surprised, maybe even hurt, by your words. He doesn't get a chance to respond when Cassian walks in. “What the hell is going on in here?” He asks, looking at you then Azriel. “Go get patched up.” Cassian says. “Now!” He demands when Azriel doesn't move. “You're coming with me.” Cassian says as he starts to guide you out of the room.
“This conversation isn't over.” Azriel calls after you. You flip him off in response, not turning to look at him. “Glad to see you haven't changed.” Cassian says as he leads you down the hall to another room. “This will be your room as long as you wish, mine is down the hall on the opposite side. You should knock before barging in, in case Nesta and I are indecent.” He says as if this is normal. “I'm not staying here. I need you or your high lord to take me back home now!” You demand. “You're in no position to be making demands, let alone return to that hell hole.” Cassian says. “Funny I seem to recall you had no problem leaving me in another hell hole before,” you say, “in fact none of you had a problem with it.”
“A mistake we aren't making again.” He says. “You don't have an option. I'm leaving.” You say, forcing your way past him and back into the hall. You follow the hallway, managing to make your way outside only to stop dead when you realize the house is built into the mountainside. Cassian leans in the doorway behind you. “No getting down unless one of us takes you.” He says with a smirk. You push past him, ignoring your pain as you start searching the house. “Looking for something, princess?” Azriel asks when you walk past him a second time.
“There has to be another way out.” You say. Both Cassian and Azriel focused on you. “Here.” Azriel says, putting the healer kit away before leading you through the house. “10,000 steps, that's all that separates you from your freedom.” Azriel offers, being too helpful. “What's the catch? Is there some horrible monster waiting to devour me?” You ask, your annoyance growing. “No, just stairs.” He answers. “Fine.” You say, ready to start your long descent. “Aren't you curious about Xavier?” Azriel's smug voice sounds from behind you. “What do you mean?” You ask. “If you want to find out then you'll have to stay.” Azriel says with a smirk.
“So this is your plan, force me to stay with the promise of telling me what happened to Xavier as if I don't know you already killed him. Really, Azriel, you're losing your touch.” You tell him, rolling your eyes. “Guess you'll never know if you don't stay.” He says, taking a drink of his water. “I don't have time for your games, no matter how predictable.” You say before starting down the steps. His laughter echoing off the wall as you descend further. “Way to go asshole.” You hear Cassian scold him. “Don't worry she'll be back.” Azriel claims, too confidently for your liking.
Warnings: neglected reader, threats of violence, implied prostitution/trafficking
Word count: 942
Part One
You were bone thin, years of neglect at your aunt and uncle's hands. Your door unceremoniously swung open as your aunt walked in carrying a dress. “Tonight's a special performance. You'll be dancing for the high lord and lady.” She says, handing you the dress. The material was finer than you'd ever been allowed to wear and it had shimmering gems sewn into the bodice. “Don't get too attached, it's not yours to keep.” she said before leaving you to get dressed. You'd barely finished tying the corset body when your uncle came to retrieve you.
“Don't embarrass us tonight and don't get any ideas.” He warns. You know well enough the threat of violence is all too real. He leads you to the main chamber where the court is gathered. Your attention lies on the small group around the dais. The two in thrones are clearly the high lord and lady, but the male beside the high lord holds your attention. His shadows are unlike anything you've seen. The way they swirl around him is beautiful. You’re jerked from your thoughts as your uncle's grip tightens on your arm, knowing you'll have a bruise under the fabric.
You manage not to wince as you bow before the thrones. You don't miss the way the one with the shadows is studying you. A moment later your music starts, pulling your attention away. You gracefully start dancing to the familiar tune. It was once your favorite but now you have none. The steps are almost second nature, having danced the same songs for years. Your face was a perfect mask as you glided across the open floor. You felt his gaze on you. You knew everyone was watching but he was the only one you felt. Your steps never faltered as you snuck a glance in his direction, afraid to meet his eyes directly.
The song faded to a close, bringing reality back with it. You took a small bow before your uncle came to escort you back to your room. Before he could guide you out into the hall, your leave was halted. Shadows blocked your path as their master stepped in front of you. “The high lord and lady insist you stay and enjoy the festivities after such a beautiful performance.” He says, keeping his eyes on you as you struggle not to fidget under his intense gaze. “A kind gesture but she is tired and wishes to rest.” Your uncle tries to politely decline.
Just then your stomach growls loud enough they both hear. “Please, stay and eat something.” He says, though it sounds more like an order than an invitation. “She doesn't eat until after calming down from the performance.” Your uncle states. You haven't eaten since last night and even then it wasn't enough to fill you. “I insist.” He says, his hand on your back as he guides you towards the tables of food. He doesn't hesitate to grab a plate and start filling it for you. You want to protest, to claim your fine, but another rumble of your stomach stops you.
Once he has a healthy variety of food he leads you to a quiet table in the corner. You don't fail to notice your aunt and uncle arguing across the room, your aunt glaring at you. “Don't be shy.” Azriel gently prods, indicating to the food in front of you. You hesitate but decide to try a bite. You stifle a moan at the delicious flavor of the smoked meat, not wanting to make the situation worse. “Your parents?” Azriel asks, noticing your glances across the room. Your aunt watching your every move, probably cataloging it for punishment later. “No, my aunt and uncle.” You answer, knowing it won't do well to lie to him.
You take another small bite, nervous being this close to him and having him watch you. Yet oddly thankful he's preventing you from eating yourself sick by keeping you uneasy. A cool touch distracts you from the food as his shadows linger around you. His brows furrow when one seems to rest on his shoulder, “Do they treat you well?” you pause thinking the best way to answer without lying. “The best they can.” You say. He studies you for a moment before rising and walking over to your uncle. Your heart races as he stands there talking to him. They're too far away for you to hear.
It isn't long before your aunt joins their conversation. Her face is neutral as she keeps glancing towards you. After a few moments her mask of caring aunt slips into place. You wonder if you should go over but decide against it, unless summoned. You're about to turn back to your plate when you notice a hefty looking bag placed in your uncle's hand. Quickly focusing on your plate when Azriel starts back towards the table. So that's what all this was about. “We're leaving.” Azriel says. “I have a room here.” You inform him, hurried to get this over with.
“Not anymore. I'm taking you home.” He says, his expression unreadable. You're familiar with the routine, but this is the first time your aunt and uncle let you leave with a customer, he must've paid a heavy sum. Either way, you knew better than to argue. You follow him out to the empty balcony. A gasp leaves your lips as the world around you fades to darkness. Moments later, the darkness vanishes, revealing a house on the mountainside. “Winnowing seemed like a more comfortable option than flying.” He says as his hand on your back guides you towards the house.
Warnings: AZRIEL IS NOT THE ABUSER domestic violence, mentioned miscarriage, aftermath of wing clippings, language, verbal abuse, victimized reader
Word count: 1,059
The house was eerily silent after having been full of your screams only moments ago. Your wings rest against your back, no longer able to carry you away. This was your punishment for trying to leave him. Only getting caught when he managed to come home earlier than you anticipated. Your blood soaked into the wood beneath you as you laid there motionless. You'd become numb to everything around you. You prayed to the mother to take you but your prayers went unanswered. Death would be too easy of a fate it seemed.
Two days later…
You were walking to the nearest store, cloak pulled tight around you despite the warm summer heat. You needed ingredients for dinner tonight. You were almost to Rosie's shop when a familiar voice called your name. You turned to find not only Cassian but also Azriel. You gave them a smile in greeting that didn't reach your eyes, something that didn't go unnoticed. “What are you two doing here?” You ask, wanting to keep the conversation on them.
“Just checking in on the camp and making sure everything is the way it should be.” Cassian says. “Surprised to see you here. Last time we saw you you were at a camp further north.” He follows up. “Xavier was transferred a few weeks ago.” You say, shifting uncomfortably under Azriel's gaze at the mention of the male. “The camp is lucky to have you. You're still training right?” Cassian questions. “Actually, I gave that up, and decided to focus on other things.” You say, hoping they don't pry.
“You loved training.” Azriel finally says, his eyes studying you intently. “Well, people change and so do interests.” You say, your tone harsh with the memory of him leaving you to follow his brothers. “Excuse me, but I have some errands to run. It was good seeing you.” You say not giving them a chance to stop you. In your hurry to escape Azriel's gaze you jostle your wings and wince at the pain. You hide it the best you can before walking into Rosie's.
You give her a greeting before rushing to gather what you need to finish dinner. You pay and walk home nervous that your conversation with Cassian and Azriel hadn't gone unseen. The last thing you wanted was to anger Xavier, worried about what he'd do. You were plating the food when Xavier walked in, his steps heavy. You set his plate on the table along with silverware. “Heard you had a nice conversation with the general and the spymaster.” He says, too calm to be anything but unnerving.
“I didn't tell them anything.” You say, your tone is more defensive than you intended. “Really? Because it's a mighty big coincidence that they show up to investigate rumors of old traditions just two days after your wings were clipped.” He says accusingly. “I didn't tell them. Maybe one of your stooges opened their mouth.” You barely finish your sentence before his hand splits your lip and knocks you off balance. You grab the counter to steady yourself. “Be careful how you speak to me or I just might take your wings completely.” he scoffs at your feeble attempt to hide them with your cloak.
You pull the cloak tighter around you as if it will ease the phantom pain in your wings at his words. He grabs the seam closest to him and yanks it. You struggle to hold onto it but are thrown off balance, your body crashing into the floor. His boot connects with your rib, the sickening feel of it breaking. “Not as strong as you thought you were, are you? Maybe you need your little boyfriends to come save you.” He sneers, his boot crashing into you again. “You're not worthy of being an Illyrian, not even a female. You couldn't even do the one thing a female is supposed to.” He shouts, anger growing in his core.
You think back to a night similar to this. Him taking his anger out on you after a rough day. The way you knew before the healer even had to confirm what had happened. How you were relieved that the babe wouldn't have to suffer like you. For the first time in a long time you allowed yourself to cry at the memory. The way you were forced to mourn in silence. The life and love you were robbed of. Your tears turned to anger at everything he's taken from you. You try to stand up, fingers gripping the counter. His fist punching your back only knocks you to the floor.
The metallic clang of a knife lands not far from you. If you can reach it you might have a chance. “Don't even think about it.” Xavier says before kicking the knife away, dashing your last bit of hope. You barely register the motion of his foot before your vision starts to darken as your head snaps back. The sound of bones shattering fills your ears and you can almost hear their familiar voices. Everything fades to black as you imagine Azriel and Cassian calling to you, they're voices sounding far away and dreamy. Darkness overtakes you as you fall unconscious. Thankful that the mother is finally sparing you.
The next morning…
White light blinds you as you slowly blink awake. You're convinced the mother finally answered your prayers. For the first time in centuries you feel relieved, no longer weighed down by years of abuse and heartache. You become dizzy when you sit up too fast. Too aware of the pain radiating through your head and body. “Easy, you've been through a lot.” Azriel's voice says. Of course the mother didn't have mercy on you. Now you were stuck hearing Azriel's voice for eternity. “Here, drink this, it will help you feel better.” His voice says again as a glass of water is held out to you.
For the first time you look around, noticing the fine wood furniture and collection of weapons. The books and journals that line the shelves, the softest sheets you've ever laid on. Finally you look at him, Azriel. He's flesh and bone sitting beside the bed, looking disheveled. His hair is a mess as if he's been nervously running his fingers through it. You finally meet his eyes, “fuck.”
Azriel's son is sick at school and they give you grief about picking him up.
Word count: 707
Kayden had woken up feeling sick but no sign of a fever. You knew he wasn't bluffing because the school had sent home letters. He got dressed while you made him a lite breakfast. You tried to convince him to stay home but lost. He was stubborn like his father. You hadn't known his mother, she had already left before you met Azriel. It was an adjustment for the three of you, especially Kayden. He felt like you were trying to replace Elain or make him forget her. Once he understood that wasn't your intention things became easier.
You stood outside the school and tried again to convince Kayden to come home a rest. You knew he was only feeling worse by the way his body slumped and the tired look in his eyes. “Your dad's away in Illyria with and Rhys and Cassian but I'll be home all day if you need me to come get you.” You remind him before watching him walk inside. You linger for a few minutes before grabbing a tea and muffin from a nearby bakery. You made a quick stop in the bookstore before heading home. You barely got settled at home before Rhys was in your head.
“Can you pick up Kayden? The school keeps trying to reach Azriel but we have a situation here.” He says. “I'm his emergency contact so not sure why they're trying Azriel. I'm on my way.” You respond before rushing back to the school. Your heart aches at the sight of Kayden slumped in his seat in the office. You knew you should've made him stay home. “Hey, buddy. Are you hanging in there?” You ask, gently pressing your hand to his forehead. His temperature is up but not in an unsafe range yet. “I don't feel good.” He says with a sniffle. “I know, buddy. You'll be home soon.” You assure him.
“Miss, we're sorry but Azriel has to be the one to pick him up.” A feminine voice sounds from behind you, clearly annoyed at you ignoring her. “Azriel is in Illyria with the high lord and the general. I'm Kayden's emergency contact and his stepmom.” You say, not understanding what her problem is. “That may be but only a parent can pick up their child from school.” She states with a hint of superiority. “I'm his stepmom. I'm on all of his contact papers if you'd take the time to look at them.” Your patience is growing thin as Kayden coughs behind you.
“Mommy I wanna go home.” He says, voice low. “I know, buddy. Let's grab your things.” You say slinging his bag over your shoulder before picking up Kayden. “I can't let you leave with him. Don't make me call security.” The woman threatens. “Calling security will be the least of your concerns if you try to stop me from taking my sick son home.” You snap. “I will be discussing this with Azriel.” She says as if it will scare you. “Please do. I'd love to see how that plays out for you. Now excuse us, I have to get Kayden home and feeling better.” You say before walking out of the office.
Once you're home you let Kayden put on pajamas while you make him soup. You carry the tray with soup and crackers along with his juice and a tonic towards his room. You find it empty and smile as you head to your room. Kayden's tucked under the blankets on Azriel's side. “I made you some soup.” You tell him, carefully sitting the tray down. “Thank you.” He says, voice raspy from coughing. You settle in beside him as he finishes his soup. You make sure he drinks the tonic before washing it down with his juice.
Azriel returns a few hours later finding Kayden sleeping cuddled up beside you as he stroke his hair. “How's he doing?” Azriel asks quietly, not wanting to wake his son. “Slowly getting better.” You answer, glad his temperature hasn't worsened. “Expect an earful from the school office.” You tell him. “Why? What happened?” Azriel asks. “Shhhh sleeping.” Kayden mumbles and stretches before settling back down. “Later.” You whisper to Azriel who gives a small nod of acknowledgement.
You were currently filling a bowl with cool water while your daughter threw a tantrum at your feet after escaping her uncle's arms. You had called for Cassian to help watch Daisy while you tended to your sick mate. Azriel had been running a fever since this morning and it had since risen dangerously high. Your daughter's screams were surely not helping as she demanded her daddy. Cassian was her favorite uncle so you had hoped that would be beneficial, but Daisy was always a daddy's girl.
Cassian came to scoop up your screaming toddler before taking her back to the living room. You made your way to the bedroom where you could barely see Azriel from underneath all the blankets. His eyes were shut as you sat the bowl on the night stand before dipping a cloth into it. His shadows laid unusually still around him but still shifted to watch you. You wrung the cloth out before pressing it to Azriel's forehead. A small sigh of relief was heard as his eyes fluttered open.
“Just me, love. Madja has been delayed and I'm worried about your fever.” You say softly as you continue to dab his forehead with the cloth. “I'm fine, love. No need to fuss over me.” He says, his voice cracking. You barely get a chance to respond when the bedroom door flings open. Daisy rushes towards the bed, thankfully you catch her before she can jump on Azriel. You doubt he'd even feel it through all the layers of blankets. “Careful, sweetie. Daddy isn't feeling well.” You tell her as she studies him. “Daddy sick?” She asks. “I'll be okay, princess.” Azriel assures her with a smile.
“I make better.” She says before leaving the room in a rush. You press the cool cloth to Azriel's forehead again. He lets out an involuntary sigh as he gets a little relief. It isn't long before Daisy returns with her favorite bat plushie in hand. You help her onto the bed before she settles beside Azriel. His arms instinctively wrapped around her. “Batty make all better.” She says holding the bat between herself and him. “That's right, princess.” Azriel says, eyes getting heavy as he fights sleep. Something your daughter notices as she yawns in return.
You tuck the blankets around them both as they fall asleep. Azriel from his illness and Daisy from exhausting herself. You grab the bowl and turn off the lights as you quietly leave, waiting for Madja to arrive. You sit beside Cassian on the couch. “Sleeping?” He asks. “For now.” You answer before taking a drink of tea. “Worried about Daisy getting sick?” Cassian asks. “As long as she has Azriel she'll be fine.” You answer. Your smile grows at how much Daisy adores her father and he adores her.
Not sure how I feel about this, might end up deleting it later.
Azriel walked past you as if he hadn't seen you, maybe he hadn't. His eyes were a million miles away as he made his way towards the bathroom. You instinctively followed, lingering in the doorway. Your reflection visible in the mirror as Azriel's eyes finally meet yours. “It's nothing.” He says, the darkening bruise around his eye giving away his lie. You don't fuss or scold him, you just move to stand between him and the sink. You examine his wounds, now that you get a better look at him.
His head lowers as you take the wet cloth from his grasp. Your touch is far gentler than he's used to, than he deserves. You clean the blood from his knuckles before rinsing and cleaning the cut above his eye. “You should see the other male.” He tries to joke but quickly falls silent again. He hates this. He hates coming home to you a mess of blood and pain. You rinse the cloth once more before kissing his knuckle. Holding his hand to your cheek as you nuzzle into it. That's all it takes.
Azriel's body sags against yours as he embraces you. The weight he'd been carrying lessened with each passing moment. The darkness in his mind slowly evaporates from your warmth as you hold him to you. You don't rush to pull away, letting him decide when the embrace ends. His shadows swirl more calmly around him as he feels like he can breathe again. He pulls back, clearing his throat awkwardly as if he's embarrassed by his vulnerability in the moment. Your hands cup his face gently as you make sure he's looking at you.
“You don't have to hide from me. We're in this together.” You say, your voice gentle and genuine. He gives a small nod in acknowledgement before starting to clean up the healers kit. “I've got it. You bathe, you smell like the prison.” You say scrunching your nose in mock offense. The water turns on in the tub behind him, clearly the house agrees with you. “Alright, but only if you'll join me.” He says, a smile teasing his lips. “Of course, love.”
Taking Care of You AU Gamer Azriel x Female Reader
No warnings just fluff
Word count: 378
Everything felt heavy as you walked home. You were greeted by the sound of video games from Azriel's studio. Relieved he was occupied you poured yourself a glass of wine and headed for the bathroom. Soon the tub was filling with steaming water while you stripped away the day. Settling into the shoulder deep bath you felt like you could breathe again. Slowly the wine and hot water had your muscles relaxing. Your eyes drifted closed as you indulged in your new found peace.
The coolness of Azriel's hands on your shoulders jolted you back to consciousness. “Easy, sweetheart, it's just me.” Azriel coos as his fingers massage your neck and shoulders. “Scared me half to death.” You half-heartedly scold. “Sorry, I tried to get your attention but your mind was miles away.” Azriel apologizes. “Rough day?” He asks, changing the topic. “The worst.” You answer as his fingers focus on a knot in your shoulders. “Want to talk about it?” He offers, knowing sometimes that helps you. “I'd rather forget about it.” You say, the water cools around you.
“I'll grab you a towel.” Azriel says when he notices your goosebumps. “Thanks, love.” You say as you step out, toweling yourself dry before he hands you one of his hoodies. “Did I interrupt your stream?” You ask, suddenly remembering he was in his studio when you came home. “Never, sweetheart. I was about done anyways.” He says, knowing you won't believe him. “I ordered takeout, it should be here soon.” He offers, changing the subject as he guides you back out to the couch.
“I've got your favorite comfort show preloaded for you. I'll be right back with a fresh glass of wine.” He says. You curl up on the couch, barely settled when Azriel returns with the takeout and your glass of wine. The smell of your favorite food has your stomach rumbling. “Skip lunch again?” He asks accusingly. “I snacked.” You offer as a compromise, earning an eye roll. He doesn't argue, just hands you your box of food before settling in beside you with his own food. “Thank you, for all of this.” You say sheepishly. “You know I'll always take care of you.” He says warmly as you press play on the remote.
Warnings: Fluff....also I may be projecting with this one
Word count: 946
You stared at the words on the page in front of you, unable to focus on what they said. Your head throbbed with your pulse as another wave of dizziness hit you. It was bad enough that you were on your cycle but to have a migraine on top of it was torture. You were forcing yourself to endure it as you tried to study some holistic medicine theories. A shooting pain spreads across your brain when a nearby priestess shuts a book too hard. You glared in her direction though you knew she wouldn't see it. Before you return your attention to the book in front of you it closes.
“Rhys what are you doing? I'm trying to study.” You protest as your eyes meet his, the fire dying in them when you see the concern in his. “I think you should take a break. You can continue tomorrow when you're feeling better.” He says, his thumb stroking the back of your hand. “I'm fine. I only have a few more pages left.” You argue. “And they'll still be here tomorrow.” He chides, pulling you from your seat before carrying you away from the table. “Rhys!” You shriek at the unexpected gesture. “You're not going to win this discussion.” He states as he carries you towards the house of wind.
“Wouldn't come willingly?” Cassian asks as Rhys lets you down in the kitchen. “Nope, she's as stubborn as we are.” Rhys says with a grin. “Of course this was a group decision.” You say, not really surprised. “Cassian ran you a hot bath with all your favorites. Why don't you go soak while we finish making dinner.” Azriel says, knowing you can't resist soaking in a hot bath on your cycle. “I'll keep you company.” Cassian says, already guiding you towards the stairs. As much as you hate to admit it they were right. Cassian follows you upstairs into the master bathroom. “Let me help you, baby.” He says, helping you undress before undressing himself.
The water is still steaming as he helps you step into the massive bath. The room smells of jasmine and night air as you settle in, Cassian's legs bracketing you on each side. You melt against him as the hot water relaxes your aching body. You let slip a small moan as Cassian's fingers expertly massage your neck and shoulders. “Why do you insist on fighting us when all we want to do is help?” He asks before pressing a tender kiss to the nape of your neck. “I was in the middle of studying.” You try to argue. “No, you were being stubborn and suffering because of it.” Cassian says. “I didn't want to be a burden. You all do so much already to take care of me, I didn't want to pile on more.” You answer honestly.
Cassian's fingers gently lift your chin and turn it so you're looking at him. “Nothing makes us happier than taking care of you. You're never a burden to any of us, nor will you ever be.” He says, silencing any argument by claiming your lips in a passionate kiss. Warmth floods the bond as you turn to face him, never breaking the kiss. “Dinner is ready, baby. You know how Azriel gets if you skip meals.” Cassian says before helping you out of the bath. He helps you dry off before drying himself. You grab one of their shirts and slip it on along with a pair of another's boxer briefs.
“Did the bath help?” Azriel asks when you step into the kitchen. “It did actually.” You answer as you watch Azriel fix you a plate. “Living room or table?” Rhys asks, wanting to make sure you're comfortable during dinner. “Living room, please.” You answer as Azriel carries your plate and his. “Of course, darling. Wherever you'll be most comfortable.” Rhys responds as the three of them follow you with plates in hand. Azriel waits for you to sit on the couch before handing you your plate. You notice he made all of your favorite comfort food. “Thank you.” You tell him as he sits beside you. “Anything for you, love.” He replies with a warm smile.
You listen to the three of them discuss their day as you eat. Each bite seemingly more delicious than the last. Before you know it you've taken your last bite and Cassian offers to take your plate. With your stomach full and happy you lay your head in Azriel's lap while your feet rest in Rhys’. Azriel's fingers gently massage your temple, trying to ease the last of your migraine. You let out a contented sigh as Rhys starts massaging your feet. Their fingers work to ease your pain as your eyes flutter shut. It's too early for bed and you try to fight the sleep. Cassian covers you with a throw blanket before taking his seat again.
You give him an appreciative smile as your eyes grow heavier. “Sleep, love.” Azriel says, voice low and soft. Moments later, your breathing evens out as you lose the fight with sleep. “She's had a rough day.” Rhys says, quiet enough not to wake you. “The first day is always the worst.” Cassian adds. “I wish we could've helped her sooner. Just the thought of her being in pain is too much.” Azriel says, noticing how peaceful you look sleeping on them. “We should get her to bed.” Cassian says. “A few more minutes. I don't want to wake her just yet.” Rhys says. Azriel hums in agreement, though they both know they aren't ready to let go yet, even if it's only a few moments.
You were certain this time was it. You felt different than you had in the past. You'd followed all of the steps to increase your chances and you knew this time was going to stick. Nothing could've convinced you otherwise until it did…
Azriel's side of the bed had turned cold by the time you woke up. He had long left for work, leaving you to go about your day. The peacefulness of the morning was shattered once you sat up. Feeling the all too familiar dread settling in your sleep shorts. You rushed to the bathroom only to realize your cycle had started, shattering your heart and hopes. You crumpled to the floor as you cried uncontrollably.
Long after your tears had dried did you pull yourself together, cleaning yourself up. You changed into one of Azriel's shirts and a loose pair of knit shorts. The house provided light snacks and fresh water for you as you buried yourself under the blankets. Your very being ached at the events of today, diminishing any motivation you had to face the rest of the world.
Hours passed slowly as you stayed in bed. Anger and sadness make you exhausted as they overwhelm you. You managed to sleep hoping to wake when the day was over. A gentle hand on your forehead pulled you from your sleep as you batted it away. “Just checking for a fever.” Azriel's familiar voice says as you blink awake. “Not sick.” You grumble, pulling the blankets up as if you could hide from him.
“Talk to me.” He pleads, voice worried. “It came.” Is the only answer you give him before fresh tears line your eyes. Azriel sits confused for a second before he realizes what you're referring to. “Oh, sweetheart.” He says, wrapping his arms around you to pull you into his chest. “No more. No more trying, no more tonics, no more.” You sob as your tears soak his shirt. “Alright, sweetheart.” He says, his fingers tracing soothing patterns along your back. “I'm serious.” You tell him. “I know.” He says.
He'll do anything you ask of him to make this better. If you want to stop trying he'll support you. When you're ready to try again he'll be beside you every step of the way. He isn't going anywhere. He holds you close as he pulls the blanket over you. He reaches into the nightstand and pulls out a small tonic, uncorking it before handing it to you. “What's this?” You ask. “For the headache you're going to have and the cramps you already are suffering.”
He hands you a glass of water to wash it down with before kissing the top of your head. “Rest, sweetheart. I've got you.” He says softly as his fingers stroke your hair, your body relaxing into his as your breathing steadies. He continues to comfort you until you've fallen back asleep.
Different little fluff moments of Azriel putting you to bed.
Word count: 582
Azriel stood in the doorway, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest as you slept. He had told you countless times not to wait up for him, but you never listened. He silently grabbed your water glass and filled it with fresh water before carrying it to the bedroom. He returned and crouched down beside the couch where you'd fallen asleep. He gently tucked the loose strands of hair behind your ear. His lips pull up into a smile as you nuzzle into his touch.
“Az?” You murmur, still half asleep. “It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you.” He coos as he lifts you from the couch. He effortlessly carries you to the bedroom. He lays you carefully on your side of the bed before pulling the blankets over you. He strips out of his clothes in exchange for knit pants before settling in beside you. “Love you.” You mumble as you cuddle into his side. “Love you too, sweetheart. Sweet dreams” he says before falling asleep himself.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~
Azriel knew before you did. He had picked up on the small scratch in your voice that morning. By afternoon your nose was congested and you couldn't stop sniffling, disturbing everyone studying in the library around you. When you started coughing you couldn't deny it any longer. You dragged yourself back to your shared bedroom in the house of wind as curled up under the blankets. A soothing honey tea appeared on the nightstand, compliments of the house.
Azriel had returned with everything he knew you would need, including a carryout bowl of chicken noodle soup from your favorite cafe. “How did you know?” You ask, as he hands you the soup. “Besides feeling your discomfort through the bond I could tell by your voice this morning.” He says, gently pressing his hand to your forehead to check for a fever. Satisfied you haven't developed one yet he settles in beside you, ready to get you anything you need or want. All you have to do is say the words and he'll get it for you. After you finish your soup he gives you a foul tasting tonic from Madja that he promises will help.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~
“I want Azzie!” You whine as Mor helps you through the door to the townhouse. “I'm here, sweetheart.” Azriel says, taking your intoxicated body from Mor's grip. He shoots her a glare making her scoff and roll her eyes. “How was I supposed to know she was such a lightweight?” She asks. “I told you!” Azriel grits through his clenched teeth. “Please don't be mad, Azzie.” You slur as he helps you towards the stairs. “I'm not mad, baby.” He assures you, giving Mor a look that says this isn't over. “I don't feel so good.” You announce as he tries to help you up the stairs.
“I bet, sweetheart. Let's get you into pajamas, and then we can lay down and rest.” Azriel coos as he guides you to the bedroom. “Careful, baby.” He warns, pulling you closer to keep you from bumping into things. He sits you on the bed as he grabs you more comfortable pajamas. You lay back as he's picking out a set. “Not yet, sweetheart. As soon as you've changed, then you can go to sleep.” He promises as he helps you get changed. He makes you drink some water and take a tonic to help with the headache he's sure you'll have later.
Two days had passed since Azriel's confession. Two days of avoiding him, of staying locked in your room reading your book. Two days of your mind and your heart fighting over his words and his actions only to leave you more confused. You needed answers and only one person could give them to you. You decided on a quick shower before confronting him, hoping it would help you clear your mind enough to stay calm. You dressed and found yourself standing outside Azriel's door sooner than you were hoping. You knocked. Silence. You knocked louder. Still silent. You tried the knob, thankful it was unlocked.
“Azriel?” You call as you push the door open only to find the room empty. You're about to turn and leave when the familiar cover catches your eye on his nightstand. You carefully pick it up, noticing several bookmarked pages. You flip through the pages, realizing the bookmarks are notes. Your cheeks blush when you realize he's bookmarked one of your favorite scenes with a note that says try with a question mark. You see he's also noted a few of the fluff moments and written questions and comments about the plot and characters.
You can't help the surprised smile that tugs at your lips. You set the book back down and turn around to find Azriel watching you from the doorway. “Oh! I'm sorry. I came to find you and when I saw the book I guess I couldn't help myself.” You admit nervously as you stand there awkwardly. “Stay, please.” He says before heading towards the shower. Only then do you notice the sheen on his neck and the dampness of his hair. He must've been training with Cassian or the Valkyries. You took a seat in his chair by his bookshelf as you waited. Your attention turns towards the bathroom door clicking open before seeing Azriel emerge with a towel wrapped low on his waist.
You can't help but appreciate the view but regain control before you start to drool. Much to your disappointment he manages to pull on a pair of pants without flashing you. You can't help but wonder what he feels like. “Comfortable?” He asks pulling your thoughts back to reality. “Huh?” You almost squeak at being caught ogling him. “Are you comfortable?” He clarifies with a smirk. “Oh, yes. Thank you.” You reply as he pulls a shirt on, breaking the trance. He leans against the dresser, studying you as he waits for you to explain why you were searching for him and in his room.
“About the other night…what were you and Rhys talking about?” You decide to ask, not bothering to tip toe around it. “Beron.” He answers as his weight shifts. “What does Beron have to do with us and what are you and I moving on from?” You press. “Beron is growing suspicious thanks to someone's eagerness to see Eris inherit the autumn court. By doing so it has brought unwanted attention to our engagement. Should Beron become suspicious of the night court's involvement then I worry he'd do something to you.” Azriel answers. “That's why we haven't discussed plans for the ceremony.” He continues.
“The night of the wine incident you said you knew I didn't want you. Why did you say that?” He asks, knowing it's time to clear the air once and for all. “I saw the look on your face when it was announced. The disapproval was plain as day, everyone else saw it too.” You say with a shrug, trying to keep the hurt from your voice. Instinctively he wants to reach for you, to erase every ounce of doubt he's given you. “I never disapproved of you being betrothed to me. There's none other I'd wish to spend the rest of my life with besides you. I thought you hated the idea of me as your mate when I saw the way you were looking at me. I kept my distance because I thought you didn't want me close.” He admits as he shifts awkwardly, stroking the back of his neck.
“That's why I had you move into the room down the hall. I wanted you to be comfortable and feel safe, even if it was from me.” He continues. You stand and for a moment he thinks you're going to leave. He can't describe the relief he momentarily feels when you stand in front of him. You desperately want to comfort him but hesitate. “I've never felt uncomfortable or scared around you, only awkward because I thought I wasn't what you wanted. When it was announced it was the happiest, most confusing moment of my life. I couldn't believe it, and I knew it was too good to be true when I looked at you across the room. Being moved into here and given a separate room only confirmed it further, I thought.” You confess, your eyes never leaving his.
“Can we start over? Let me court you properly. I want to take you on dates and share meals with you. I want the chance to show you I love you.” He says, nothing but honesty and hope in his eyes. “I'd like that.” You admit. “Still want to try that new cafe?” He asks. “Yes. I've heard so many good things about it.” You answer eagerly as your stomach grumbles with hunger. “Sounds like now's the perfect time to go.” Azriel teases, “unless you already have other plans.” “No plans other than our date.” You say, unable to stop the grin pulling at your lips. “What?” Azriel asks, his eyes light with curiosity. “Our date. I'm going on a date with the most sought after spymaster of the night court. Eat your hearts out ladies.” You say with a laugh as the idea has you giddy.
I have been going back on and forth with the idea for awhile now. I genuinely love writing requests for people and I want to write more but writer's block is a major issue for me. I also enjoy seeing what other people come up with for ideas.
Your eyes flutter open taking in the room around you. The lights are dim but you can tell this isn't your room. The sheets are too soft and the furniture is too dark. The room smells of starlight and mountains, a scent you used to love but now hurts. You can't get out of his bed fast enough, your body swaying at the sudden movement. Hands are quick to steady you, “Careful.” Azriel warns. You shrug off his grip as you can't step away from him fast enough. “You should be resting.” He continues, ignoring the hurt he feels from you pulling away.
“I can rest in my own room.” You say, voice laced with anger as you start towards the door. “I know, I just thought-” Azriel's cut off when you turn to face him as your anger rises to the surface. “You thought what Azriel? That bringing me to your room would make me forget that you're trying to get rid of me?! Or maybe it was just an act of playing the concerned fiancé. Or maybe it was to pour salt in a festering wound just to remind me of what I don't have.” You accuse as tears roll down your cheeks.
Azriel stands stunned, his mind trying to wrap around what you said. You take the opportunity to leave. You make your way to the roof. The stars shine brightly above you as your tears distort them. A shiver runs along your spine in the cool evening air. The flutter of wings breaking the silence behind you. You don't turn to look, you don't have to. “He loves you.” Rhys’ voice says behind you. “Go away.” You say firmly. “Whatever you think you heard in the hallway you didn't.” Rhys continues. “I'll find a new place to live in the morning.” You tell him. “Please, just hear him out. Give him a chance.” Rhys says before he's gone.
You appreciate the silence he leaves behind. Even your own mind is silent as if the mother herself is giving you this moment. You breathe a little easier in the moment. Your tears stop as the sky above you comes into focus. You count the stars overhead, like you have many times before. You make it to fifty before a stray shadow draws your attention. “Leave me alone.” You say over your shoulder. “No.” You don't turn to look at him, you don't need to. “I've left you alone for too long and it led to here. This ends tonight.” Azriel says. “If you don't want to talk, fine, but I need you to listen.” He continues.
“You come out here most nights you can't sleep and count the stars, memorizing each one. You blush at spicy scenes in your books and giggle and kick your feet when the characters are cute and mushy. Your laughter is my favorite music, and your smile, your genuine smile, is a work of art. You talk to people and genuinely care when you ask how they are. You prefer to make gifts over buying them, making sure each one is personal. You pour your entire being into everything you're passionate about.” Azriel recounts as he stays behind you. “I love you. I've been in love with you since the moment we met. I never want to be rid of you.” He confesses before leaving you alone once again.
Before you can gather the confidence to knock you hear him call through the wooden door, “It's open.” You take a steadying breath before pushing the door open and stepping inside. “I just wanted to thank you for moving my book somewhere safer.” You say, knowing it's a weak excuse to be in his room. You can't help but notice the familiar colors on the cover of the book he's trying to obscure from your view. “You're welcome.” He says setting his book aside. “I'm sorry about today, if I had known I could've rescheduled with Mor.” You say, worried he'll only resent you more for wasting his day off. “It's fine, really. Like I said I should've made sure you didn't already have plans.” He replies.
“Let me make it up to you. Join me for lunch tomorrow, unless you're too busy catching up from today.” You offer nervously. “Would you like to try the new cafe that opened up just down from Feyre's studio?” He asks. “Sounds perfect.” You say forcing a smile as your heart sinks. “I'll let you get back to your reading.” You continue before opening the door. “Don't forget dinner tonight at the river house. I have to see Rhys so I've asked Cassian to bring you.” He says. “Okay.” You step out of his room, closing the door behind you. You let out a shaky exhale before heading towards your room. You lay your book on your nightstand as you start picking out clothes for dinner tonight.
‘Of course he would pick that cafe.’ you think to yourself. ‘Probably hoping someone would interrupt and he could make his escape without seeming rude.’ You flip through your hangers as you try to figure out what you want to wear. ‘He'll probably cancel anyways, claiming something came up or he won't even show feigning he forgot.’ You continue. Only after you're dressed for dinner and picking up your book does your anger subside. ‘Why go through the trouble of taking the day off and making me breakfast if he didn't want to spend time with me.’ You wonder. ‘Why buy a copy of the same book I'm reading and read it yourself?’ You continue to question. You shake the thoughts from your head as Cassian knocks on your door.
The flight to the river house is short and you welcome the warmth of it as you step inside. “Will you let Azriel and Rhys know that dinner is ready, please.” Feyre asks as she and Elain fill the table with platters of food. “Of course.” You say, making your way towards Rhys’ office. His door is cracked and you manage to hear their voices. “These things take time, you just need to be patient.” Rhys says, his voice laced with annoyance. “I'm trying to be patient but you don't know what this is like. I'm not sure how much longer I can stand this.” Azriel raises his voice, the frustration clear. “It'll be done soon and you and her can move on.” Rhys says, his words cutting clean through you.
Suddenly the hallway is too small and the air is too heavy. Your breathing becomes short and shallow as your vision blurs. You lean against the wall as you struggle to calm down. The sound of your head against the wall alerting Rhys and Azriel to your presence. Your vision fades to black as you catch a glimpse of the two of them, their voices distorted. Everything falls into darkness as you collapse, Azriel breaking your fall before you can hurt yourself. “Get Madja!” Azriel shouts as the inner circle comes to see the commotion. Your body is cool against his as he gently shakes you, trying to wake you. “Please…please…wake up…” Azriel says, his fingers ghosting along your cheek.
“What are you doing?” Cassian asks. “Reading.” Azriel answers without looking up from the book. “I can see, but I thought you canceled on me to spend the day with her.” Cassian presses. “She and Mor had plans, so I'm reading the book she's currently reading.” Azriel says. “You're reading her book?!! Does she know?!! You better not lose her spot if she's anything like Nesta about her books.” Cassian warns. “I'm being careful.” Azriel insists. “It's your funeral.” Cassian says. “She already hates me, so what's one more reason.” Azriel says.
“What are you going on about?” Cassian says, taking a seat. “She hates me. Even you can't be that oblivious to it. It's practically written on her face when she looks at me.” Azriel says, placing the book on the end table. “How are you the spymaster when you can't even see the truth in her.” Cassian says with a laugh. “She doesn't hate you, far from it. You'd know that if you'd actually make an effort with her.” Azriel's brows furrow, “You didn't see the disappointment in her eyes when our engagement was announced.” Azriel says, feeling anxious.
“Nesta was right, you really are clueless when it comes to her.” Cassian says, rolling his eyes as he leaves Azriel to his thoughts. “I'm not clueless!” Azriel calls after Cassian as he walks out of sight. Azriel stares at the book for a few moments. Hearing Cassian's warnings about reading your book he makes his mind. He should have time to make it to the bookstore before you're back from shopping. He takes off towards your favorite bookstore.
The bell above the door announced his arrival. He wasn't sure where to even begin to look for a copy of the book. He found a young shopkeeper behind the desk, “excuse me, I was hoping you could help me find a book.” He says, his nerves getting the better of him. “Of course, anything for my favorite customer's fiancé.” She says warmly. “I'm looking for this book.” He says handing her a folded piece of parchment with the title.
“It'll be right over here, just follow me.” She says guiding him between the shelves. “I should have one copy left.” She continues as she looks on the shelf for it. “Yes, here it is.” She announces as she pulls it from the shelf and hands it to him. “Y/n just bought a copy earlier this week, did something happen to it?” The shopkeeper asks. “I may have accidently damaged it and am replacing it for her.” Azriel says, not wanting to admit it's for him. “That's so sweet of you. She's lucky to have such a gentleman for a fiancé.” She compliments before ringing him up for the book.
He makes it home just moments before you, long enough to place the book on his nightstand. He just sat back down with a drink when your laugh echoed off the foyer walls. “We need to do this more often.” Mor said as the two of you came into view of Azriel. “Oh, sorry. I wasn't expecting you to be home.” You apologize awkwardly. “Why not? He took the day off to spend with you.” Cassian says as he and Nesta join the room. “You did?” You ask, unable to keep the surprised tone from your voice. Azriel glares at Cassian while Nesta not so subtly smacks her mate's arm. “I did.” Azriel reluctantly admits.
“I'm sorry. If I had known I wouldn't have-” Azriel stops you before you can finish your apology. “It's fine. I should've checked to see if you had plans first before assuming.” He says as he rises from his chair and moves past you. “Where are you going?” Cassian asks. “I have some reading to catch up on.” Azriel answers before disappearing down the hallway to his room. “Real smooth, Cass.” Mor says with an eye roll. They start bickering but you're too focused on Azriel, debating on if you should try to talk to him. You decide against it, assuming his reading is work related since you spent the day with Mor.
You move to take his seat, noting your book on the table beside his chair. You remember leaving it on the dining table. You pick it up and examine it. Nothing seems out of place or different until you look at the bookmark. You'd never place it backwards, yet it was. When you flipped through the pages, you caught the faintest scent of starlight and mountains, a scent so distinctly Azriel you'd recognize it anywhere. Suspicion creeps into your mind as you carry the book towards Azriel's room. The other's voices fade away as you stand at Azriel's bedroom door, willing yourself to knock.
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