SO !! i’ve been getting a lot of followers , which is awesome , but it also means that my activity is fucked . so , if i owe you , please message me !! i’ve lost nearly all of my replies .
i. there a few things you dislike about her. for example , the way she chews with her mouth open , or takes to talking when eating . or maybe how she wears the same shirt for days on end . or how she keeps telling you that she wants to be on your show so she can spook some ghouls , ya feel ? but there are so many things you do like about her . the way her face lights up at the smallest bill murray references , or the way she yells at birds for seemingly no reason , or the way her lipstick stains whatever her lips touch . she is something else . you know this . you wonder what it’d be like if she stained your lips . your cheeks . there is an impulsiveness that runs deep in your veins that you try so , so hard to hide . sometimes it comes out when you least expect it to , like how your hand catches her jacket just before she crosses the street and you pull her in before she can even say what’s the big idea –
you don’t even mind that red doesn’t match your outfit.
ii. you’ve only dated one girl before , back in college when you were tucked far away from your mother , from the rest of the world . it didn’t last . it never lasts . between your mom , your career , and jess – it never lasts . but here you are , pacing outside of her front door , hoping to make something that does . you keep reaching to knock but you can’t , because it’s too scary . it’s to big of a risk . you want to be the hero but you can’t , because everyone knows that heroes are supposed to set an example , but who’s going to trust the queer , ex-addict to be their hero ? you couldn’t even handle being patsy , how are you supposed to be anything else . and the second you get scared , the second you want to run , she opens the door and you’re sucked in . the first thing you do is kiss her , just kiss her and let the rest wash away .
iii. you’re sitting on a rooftop , watching the sunrise . you think it’s romantic , she says it’s cheesy as hell , but you know she thinks so too . your head leans against her shoulder and suddenly , all you want to do is freeze this moment and stay here forever . instead , you lift your head up to kiss her , to relish it while you can . this is a moment to save .
iv. you can’t save each other . both of you are on these downward spirals , making messes and ruining things . you don’t mean to . you don’t want to . you’ve been away too long . you’ve been hurt too long . it scares you down to your bones . her hand touches yours and you are anchored . she is light , and you feel light , and suddenly , everything is bright again . you kiss her forehead , now . an intimate gesture , one you can’t let go of . she opens her mouth : you gettin’ soft on me , walker ? you answer : never .
v. god , she makes you mad sometimes . you fight like dogs when it comes down to it . yelling and screaming and begging each other to stop being idiots . it isn’t until that moment of calm , the eye of the storm , that you realize that you love her . god , you love her . the words get caught in your throat and all you can think to do is surge forwards and close the distance . she is worth it . every single moment .
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