FINGER BREAKER

If its passed forget about it. Don't be a knuckle sucker.

[helldown]

What the frick is up my pals who never seem online. It’s been a long minute of non stop posts. My life is the hell scape I made. A wild fuckin ride.

I have been in out a daze and depressed in the trenches. Idk how much longer my calm cool collected demeanor will last till I need to blow the top off this popsicle stand. Ahaha. Well. For now. I just smoke and drink my coffees with my legs crossed. I’ve been having a lot of conversations in my head. A LOT. And all I know for sure is I know nothin. Not a damned thing. Funny how I can humble my idiot self. Here’s to 27. Long way from heaven.

[helldown]

Guess what?

[mylittleniche]

[space-pics]

Young star offers a glimpse of the Sun’s past by europeanspaceagency

[onthedreamedge]

[helldown]

Enjoy my lame photos, that have good stories but nothing good enough to tell hahaha

[zegalba]

[andcorts]

[rico-stone]

[ewfadsasddsdasd-deactivated2018]

fucka you

[ewfadsasddsdasd-deactivated2018]

basard

[kleophrades-deactivated20191202]

Mazzola, Francesco (Parmigianino) 1503-1540

[helldown]

What’s up tumblr bots? I was just thinking about you guys and hope you followed many blogs today.

On another note I realized how outta practice I am water coloring. Idk what the hell im doing but feels fun to 70% complete something. It’s totally ugly but also pleasing. I messed up a ton. But it’s fine I’ll die happy knowing this piece of art work will end up in my loved ones trash. LOL. But yaaaa my days have been okay. I still despise talking to people and trying to socialize. Tid bit bout me. I lived in the desert off and on for numerous years in a trailer with my sister and crazy mom. So I basically had little to no socialization growing up. But damn. Do I just talk to fill empty rooms lol. Idk wtf I’m saying 90% the time and regret it after. But I blame the people who don’t know how to talk about anything lol. I just wanna get told someone’s little secret they’d never say to any other soul. Or about that one intrusive thought. Idk or just something we can debate over and disagree on till we agree with eachother. But idk. I just want a friend who just drops by whenever they want and comes to sit for tea and plays the guitar. Is it to much to ask for? Why can’t we go back to ringing eachother or waiting till we run into one another at the grocer and make a date. And damned be here when you say or I’ll still let you in and give ya a hard time. Yup. Yippeeeee I hate meeeee!

A ominous selfie to frighten myself with later. And it’s ugly and worth sharing to. Also this dress? Thrifted. I love it. Bite me.

[helldown]

I hate my friends. I think I just haven’t anything in common. I do not miss the US at all nor do I like fast food or like going to target or talking about drama. But idk imma work through this cause maybe we will talk about real things.

[gacougnol]

Ugur Basaran

[helldown]

SOME times, I want to make a single movie that gets big. I’m so envious of these people who make movies and live my stupid little dream. I guess I could just become a shitty youtuber and make short films or something. I just wish sometimes I had more days of feeling inspired. Truth be told Im also not super knowledgeable about the things I love. If you asked me why I wanted to make a movie, I coudl maaaaybe tell ya. But tbh, The movie would be boring as hell. And more based around poetry I write and some desert that I think about from time to time. I guess I could just sell some ideas though. I think what sucks is you cant do what you love and if you do you suffer. Love=Pain. As Ive been told. Also I don’t know any directors that honestly have inspired me. lmao. I just like a good film. But what do I know. Also totally using my tumblr as a make shift diary. so sorry anyone who reads these. Or not cause nobody reads texts posts more than 5 words long anymore. RIP my dreams that I haven’t acted on cause I do nothing but procrastinate and decide my energy is better used looking for a vape and hobby that will last me 10 mins.

[helldown]

Btw mental health update I’m in the gutter. Drinking wine and smoking cigarettes

What an eventful evening of small pain. Getting to swell over music and my emo sad life like I’m stuck back when I was 23 lol. Rip my soul. I miss the days being easy and the people coming and going. Who the hell didn’t warn bout how much a circus life can be. I feel like when I around people I got to perform. I just wanna live in some trees in a shitty hut with me, myself and I. Maybe I’ll do something good with my life that isn’t gonna put my heart on the line all the damn time. I tell no secret but damn do others secret come at more a surprise than I’d like. Now I smoke a cig and drink a swig at the shitty horrible people in the world and the worst part is sometimes I’m one of them.

[helldown]

Why I get new followers all a sudden, y’all have nothing better to do obviously. Jk thank you tho