[homietwt]

alien

[kotortwo]

literally obsessed with this tiktok (x)

[digital-magus]

He Returns To The Bog

[theforce]

That is so sad Alexa please don’t play anything bc I am scared of you and will not allow you in my Home

[bidootdoot-deactivated20190601]

*despacito plays eerily in the background*

[wannabeabe]

🎁❄️🎀🎄☃️🎄🎀❄️🎁

Weight loss spell for losing 20lbs/10kg until Christmas

Like to charge reblog to cast

[teuer]

[rott1ngangel]

☆°˚∘ ana spell ∘˚°☆

for ;

☆ goodluck with fasting

☆ anti-binge

☆  scale luck

☆°˚∘  like to charge + reblog to cast ∘˚°☆

[spongyspice]

we all have a person who’s name we hear and we just

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

maybe instead of getting mad at me when you come down the stairs to see a bowl of freshly churned butter on the island counter you should get mad at yourself for leaving a bowl of fresh cream out when you’re aware of my passions

[cognitohazardous]

bro im sick of this shit im sick of the fact that we all gotta sit here making online jokes to cope with the fact that the most inhumane and horrible things are happening on/to the planet all cause some freak ass demons will stop at nothing to get some shitty oil like this is hell im living in what hell is

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[anotherpapercut]

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

[beka-tiddalik]

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

[thursdaygrrrl]

I love these pictures of queen <333

[etica]

[thebootydiaries]

bro is my fannypack ruining my fit , be honest

[happyclam17]

nah bro. u good bro

[thebootydiaries]

love u bro u complete my world,

[30-minute-memes]

Need to be mindful for our feathered friends!

[youlovetoseeit]

Only gamers will get this

[laurenmichelle310]

i have a right to be unavailable, unable to reach, uninterrupted….etc. regardless of who you are or what you want from me

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

me to my boss after i decline his seventh call in a row 2 hours into a shift i didn’t show up for

[mayhemofsalem]